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Author Topic: Most Disliked Christmas Carols
KatrinaDuck
Jingle Bell Hock


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"Where are you Christmas?" is currently playing on the radio. (My coworker decided to play the non-stop Christmas music today. Which is fine for a day... but it keeps playing all these R&B or pop songs, and they're awful.) I can't stand this one. This girl can't find Christmas because she's sad. Besides my irritation when people talk to a large group as if it's only one person (like when people say, "what do I do, America?" America isn't one person! It's comprised of several million!). Seriously. Just because you're in a bad mood doesn't mean that the day isn't there anymore. It's actually impossible to avoid it.
Why do people who redo songs insist on putting the "oooohhhh....OOOOOOOooooooo" in there? Do your scales before you record the song, not in the middle of it!
Also the ones where the singers are going to do that (and you know their hands are going up the higher the note is) and they take a deep breath right in the middle of a sentance, before inappropriately belting out the last note. "Where are you to.......... NIGHT!?!"

Edited for clarity

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It is, after all, the dab of grit that seeps into an oyster's shell that makes the pearl, not pearl-making seminars with other oysters. -Stephen King

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DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by KatrinaDuck:
"Why do people who redo songs insist on putting the "oooohhhh....OOOOOOOooooooo" in there? Do your scales before you record the song, not in the middle of it!

Maybe they're howling at the moon?

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KatrinaDuck
Jingle Bell Hock


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I don't think I'd be all that surprised.

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It is, after all, the dab of grit that seeps into an oyster's shell that makes the pearl, not pearl-making seminars with other oysters. -Stephen King

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noysey
The Swordfish in the Stone


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Howzabout "Here Comes Santa Claus"? "All I want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth"? To me they are about the worstest. [Big Grin]
Santa Claus Lane?? [Roll Eyes]

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BlushingBride
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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THANK YOU kmcm, for mentioning "Mary did you know?" Grrrah, I hate that one.

But the one I hate worse is "Mary's Boy Child." It grates on my nerves so much... especially the versions that make a big to-do of saying "Beth-Lee-Hem."

Oh... and a newer one. "The Virgin's Lullaby." Heard this monster on XM this weekend. I sat through 2 terrible choruses before a choir started up with "We are the choir of angels..." at which point DH and I both reached for the channel button.

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"In perfume, as in underwear, the scantiest of applications provides the greatest of returns." -Silas Sparkhammer

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Signora Del Drago
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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[hijack]Many of you say you hate this particular song, but have you ever really listened to it? I'd like to defend it. I shall omit the "Pa rum pum pum pum" parts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Come they told me,
A new born King to see.

"Ah, I'm going to get to go see the new King. I'm so excited!" (Thought the Little Drummer Boy.)

Our finest gifts we bring
To lay before the King,
So to honor Him
When we come.

"I love this little Baby and want to honor Him with a gift, but I have nothing. What must I do? Maybe if I explain it to Him, He'll see what's in my heart."

Little Baby,
I am a poor boy too.

"I know He's a poor boy like me. Look where He was born."

I have no gift to bring
That's fit to give our King.

"Wait! I do have talent. Perhaps I should offer that."

Shall I play for you
On my drum?
Mary nodded.

"I'm so nervous. I hope it will be good enough."

The ox and lamb kept time.
I played my drum for Him.
I played my best for Him.

"Oh, my. What is happening? I've never sounded this good before. It is filling my soul with joy."

Then He smiled at me,
Me and my drum!

"He liked it. He liked it, and He knew!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Isn't this what Christmas is all about? The most humble offering from a person of little means is worth as much as a more expensive offering from a wealthy person. This holds true in all aspects of life. YMMV

Of course, this is directed toward those who celebrate Christmas, but I suspect if you don't celebrate Christmas in some form, you wouldn't be reading Christmas-related threads in the first place. [Wink] [/hijack]

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"This air we're breathing. Oxygen, isn't it?"~I’mNotDedalus, impersonating Vincent D’Onofrio.|"Sometimes trying to communicate can be like walking through a minefield."~wanderwoman
"Give people a break. It's not easy doing a life."~Joshua Halberstam

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Spam & Cookies-mmm
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Flowy Chloe:
That psychotic "Bells" thing. Ding ding ding ding. DING ding ding ding. DING ding ding ding, ad infinitum.

My co-worker is singing tenor on this song for his church's cantata. His daily rants are very entertaining, and your description made me giggle my eyeballs out!

Also, cheers to your sig line. I do love Miss Jean Brodie.

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BlushingBride
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Spam & Cookies-mmm:
quote:
Originally posted by Flowy Chloe:
That psychotic "Bells" thing. Ding ding ding ding. DING ding ding ding. DING ding ding ding, ad infinitum.

My co-worker is singing tenor on this song for his church's cantata. His daily rants are very entertaining, and your description made me giggle my eyeballs out!

Also, cheers to your sig line. I do love Miss Jean Brodie.

[Big Hijack]
Have you seen the ad for Garmin GPS set to this song?

"Bluetooth is on--
call a salon!
Need a waxing now!
Got a unibrow!"

Second only to the Holiday Hawk for my favorite Holiday themed ad. Also revitalized all my affection for the song.
[/Hijack]

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"In perfume, as in underwear, the scantiest of applications provides the greatest of returns." -Silas Sparkhammer

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Brandi
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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Oh, and last December I was someplace and heard a song which was basically a children's choir singing 'Happy Birthday To You' -- to Jesus.

I kinda threw up in my mouth a little.

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Ramblin' Dave, quietly making noise
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by KatrinaDuck:
Why do people who redo songs insist on putting the "oooohhhh....OOOOOOOooooooo" in there?

'Cause on Christmas you can depend! [Big Grin]

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Another lifetime I'd have fallen in love with you
Swept away by my feelings, ashamed and confused
But just now it's enough to be walking with you
Let the mystery play as it will! -Lui Collins

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Clarity
Toys to the World


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Funny, this thread makes me want to listen to Christmas music now. Gonna turn on the radio to the soft-rock station now!
There's one song I really hate, just can't stand, called "Christmas In The Northwest" by some ditzy singer, and it's bad. Every time it comes on, I think its an advertising jingle, because it's so bland, and then it turns out to be that song again. AAAARRGH! You probably won't have heard it if you don't live in Oregon or Washington, so count your blessings.
I sort-of hate Feliz Navidad too, but I count it as an opportunity to sing "Police got my dog" instead, so that's alright.
Pop carols in general are awful. Give me real choral music please.

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Kevin: Pink Bunkadoo?
Randall: Yeah. Beautiful tree that was. Og designed it. 600 feet high, bright red, and smelled terrible.

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surfcitydogdad
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
Originally posted by Ramblin' Dave, quietly making noise:
...I have a soft-spot for "Blue Christmas" as I once sang it to a room full of Taiwanese kindergartners. [Wink]

Have a Brue Christmas, Rambrin Dave!

Clarity, I was thinking the same thing about Feliz Navidad, except the version I've heard is "police stopped my car" (it should start playing on www.KPIG.com any day now).

SurfCity "do you smell what I smell?" DogDad

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Only when we remake ourselves can we remake the world.
- Outer Limits (2001)

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Freshman
We Three Blings


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hahhahah.. I just wanna chime in and agree that "I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus" is a very creepy song

How about "Happy X-mass, the war is over" Why does John Lennon gotta be such a wet blanket?!

And yeah, that Paul Mcartney one is ugh

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"High-Five!" - Borat

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VersesBatman
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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Wonderful Christmas Time, I mean what was Paul thinking?

I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus

We wish you a Merry Christmas. I always thought the guest were rude to demand figgy pudding.

The Christmas Shoes owns this thread.

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It's like they took a bunch of movies, put them in a blender and turned it on really fast!-Mystery Science Theater 3000

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Mouse
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by Giselle:

2."Have yourself a merry little Christmas" sung by Judy Garland

Really? For me, Judy Garland is the only one who sings the song right. All the other singers try to make it as long as the musical Cats and they keep trying to make it into a happy carol and it's not meant to be a happy carol. It's a carol about hanging on until things get better. The new versions have this line "Hang a shining star upon the highest bough" as opposed to the original "We'll have to muddle through somehow." Cheeses me off every time I hear that line, because what the hell does "Hang a shining star upon the highest bough" mean anyway?

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"You see? The mysteries of the Universe are revealed when you break stuff." Coop from MegasXLR

"I distrust who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." -- Susan B. Anthony

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evilrabbit
Jingle Bell Hock


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I like the version of "Feliz Navidad" that my brother did on his first "album" (recorded for Christmas in our laundry room, using a My First Sony tape recorder). He forgot the words about halfway through and just started making them up.

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"My sandwich choice is uncertain, until I actually order. It's like Schrodinger's Sandwich."
"Is plutonium involved in this sandwich in any way?"
"Maybe."

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DadOf3
Jingle Bell Hock


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Signora ... well said! Whether the tune or the pa-rum-pa-pum-pums grate on the listener, this is indeed the message that is intended.

Mouse, I do agree that the line "we'll have to muddle through somehow" makes the song much more poignant. In the "Favourite Carols" thread, I mentioned that I usually sing both lines - "muddle" the first time, then back to the bridge, then the other one. The idea is that right now, we're doing our best to get by; later we'll hopefully see better days. I believe "hang a shining star upon the highest bow" refers simply to putting a star on the top of the Christmas tree.

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Echinodermata Q. Taft
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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For a bit there, I was beginning to think that I was the only person who did not hate "The Little Drummer Boy." (Though it is somewhat overdone.) Part of the reason, for me, is that it's always been my Dad's favorite.

For "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" -- I never had strong feelings about this one until a couple years ago, when they used it in a "South Park" Christmas episode -- the musical one that featured songs that were released on CD ("Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics" I think). SP fans may recall that episode was the first one broadcast after the death-by-suicide of Mary Kay Bergman, who did all the female voices for the show up to that point. Her death really got to me, personally, because she was just my age, a very attractive woman (to me, anyway -- not in a supermodel sense, but a real-world one), who even was a big Disneyland fan, and who had a very interesting and fun career going -- yet she took her own life from despair.

Anyway, at the end of that episode, the main characters sing that song, and there is one shot of many of the regular female characters gathering around the Christmas tree, in what I assume was a tribute to her memory. Since then, that song chokes me up, and makes me think about gathering with all my friends at the holidays. So...bad song or not...it has a meaning for me.

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Hope for the future! http://www.runobama.com

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Kitsune26
The First USA Noel


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I'm going to have to go with "Blue Christmas," for this one, and I'll tell you why.
I once had the, ahem, "joy" of working at a Boston Market some years back.
Included in the miseries of this job was the fact that the managers would take off on breaks for hours at a time, and often after letting all the day shift employees but me go home-leaving me working all positions alone in the place from noon to 4pm, taking orders in
December comes and the holiday music starts to be played daily from opening to closing.
One of these days, the mangers take off on one of their excusions, and as usual, they lock the office door. Inside this office is are the controls to the radio.
I'm doing my thing, trying to keep up with the orders inside, in the drive through, putting together said orders, cooking the food, cleaning, etc.
And then I notice it-"Blue Christmas" has finished playing, and then started up again.
And again.
After the third time, I try to get a hold of the managers, with no success.
Repeat for one hour-Elvis croons, customers complain, I make excuses as to what is occurring while frantically calling the managers to come back with the key to the office to shut the radio off or fix it or something.
After an hour and a half, I lost it.
I picked up one of the tools that we used for pulling the spits out of the rotesserie, put it on the the proper manner ( covering the inside of my arms up to the elbow), and proceed to smash out the glass on the office door.
The I reached through, unlocked the door, and shut the radio off.
The manager just about tanned my hide for that, but they did stick around more often.
Sad thing is, before all that, I kinda like "Blue Christmas."

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I'm as giddy as a Japanese school girl in an octopus tank.

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surfcitydogdad
Jingle Bell Hock


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Great story, Kitsune!

Sorry for your loss, Taft.

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Only when we remake ourselves can we remake the world.
- Outer Limits (2001)

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Cinnamon
The First USA Noel


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Once in Royal David's City - glurgy Victorian crap of the worst variety.

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My blog - a continuing obsession with my weight plus much randomness
My opinions on books, music, and other stuff

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Steve
Happy Holly Days


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quote:
Originally posted by Filet o' Spamamander:

I'm going to add "Do They Know it's Christmastime" (BandAid 20) Some of the other awful pop Christmas somgs are on the album, but the main song which was the major release... uggh. I have always been a big fan of Bob Geldof's efforts but I loathe this song and it's 80's flashbacks. It's about starvation in the Sudan and other African nations- but why would they know its Christmastime, anyway? A plea for people in Western nations to remember their plight in a season of giving is one thing; this almost sounds like missionary work to let them know its Christmas.

Yes! I have never heard a more condescending song done in the name of charity. Did those singers really not know that Africa does, in fact, have rivers flowing?
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Muncle
I Saw Three Shipments


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quote:
Originally posted by Pikey Queen:
I cannot stand "Away in a Manger". It's always sung badly by six-year-olds. It's just so cutesy and nauseating!

Oh yes. My elementary school had a Christmas (Yes, a Christmas) concert every year, and each year the same grade sang the same song, which shows the originality of my music teacher. And the grade primary always sang Away in a Manger. Twenty years down the road, I still don't really like it.
I'm much more a fan of the traditional (and as some would say, true) carols. But I dislike that every single pop star seems to have it in their contract to make a Christmas album. Because then, in order to make sure that they are completely and 100% unique, they have to perform the song in different ways that showcases their (non-)talent, and becoming totally unsuitable. Even Charlotte Church, bless her soul, it hurt when I heard her sing walking in a winter wonderland. She was trying, but every time she had a note langer than a beat, she'd try to hold and vibrato it. [Frown]

Best time to hear Christmas Music: Tune into CBC Radio 2 on Christmas morn.

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Seasonal petrelgirl
I Saw Three Shipments


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I have unfortunately sang a lot of those songs, or at least part of, including:

Carol of the Bells
Grandma got run over...
O Come all ye faithful
The Christmas Song
Jingle Bells
We Wish you a merry Christmas

That's all I can think of now, and most of those were in a mishmosh of 30-ish christmas and new year songs called "Christmas in about 3 minutes" (Only Grandma wasn't in it, and we sang Carol of the bells separately too.) It was sung every year at our "Holiday refresher" except my senior year because the choral instructor said she burned it, though I did find it after she said that once.

But at least we sang the real stuff as opposed to the Hannukah crap we had to put up with. Basically, they involved stereotypes and singing songs that either were not to be sung during the holiday or even ones that a reform jew knew were sung a different way.

Which actually does play a factor in my current agnosticism.

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"I suggest we decide through a knife battle" "But you're the only one of us that carries a knife." "Correction, [I carry] four."

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Spikey
Jingle Bell Hock


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Chris De Burgh - A Spaceman Came Travelling

Does that count as a Christmas song?

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"The fact that "uvula" and "vulva" look and sound similar was just a happy coincidence." - Lainie

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Brad from Georgia
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Mouse:
.... For me, Judy Garland is the only one who sings the song right. All the other singers try to make it as long as the musical Cats and they keep trying to make it into a happy carol and it's not meant to be a happy carol. It's a carol about hanging on until things get better. The new versions have this line "Hang a shining star upon the highest bough" as opposed to the original "We'll have to muddle through somehow." Cheeses me off every time I hear that line, because what the hell does "Hang a shining star upon the highest bough" mean anyway?

Blame...Judy Garland. She's the one who changed the line from the way it was in the movie, evidently because "muddling through" was becoming a dated expression. When she re-recorded the song, she changed it to the way it's usually sung today.

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"No hard feelin's and HOPpy New Year!"--Walt Kelly
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Elkhound
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by Logoboros:

For myself, among the classics, I find "O Little Town of Bethelehem" mind-numbingly dull, both lyrically and musically. --Logoboros

Which setting? I know of three tunes for Bp. Brooks' poem.

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"The bicycle is the most civilized conveyance known to man. Other forms of transport grow daily more nightmarish. Only the bicycle remains pure in heart."--Iris Murdoch

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Elkhound
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by surfcitydogdad:
Hard to believe, no? I know it may well be the most popular carol of all, but I've never liked it. It's overplayed, and it tends to be sung too slowly. Hard to sing, boring to listen. Give me something with a bit more oomph.

IF sung in the original German, or even more importantly, accompanied by GUITAR,
then it's great! Otherwise, I dread hearing it.

In one of my carol books, I have the original form of the melody. It was originally a WALTZ, believe it or not. Well, what do you expect, it is AUSTRIAN, after all. (If you want to hear it, get a hold of Garrison Kiellor's "Christmas in Lake Wobegon.")

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"The bicycle is the most civilized conveyance known to man. Other forms of transport grow daily more nightmarish. Only the bicycle remains pure in heart."--Iris Murdoch

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DadOf3
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
Originally posted by Brad from Georgia:
quote:
Originally posted by Mouse:
.... For me, Judy Garland is the only one who sings the song right. All the other singers try to make it as long as the musical Cats and they keep trying to make it into a happy carol and it's not meant to be a happy carol. It's a carol about hanging on until things get better. The new versions have this line "Hang a shining star upon the highest bough" as opposed to the original "We'll have to muddle through somehow." Cheeses me off every time I hear that line, because what the hell does "Hang a shining star upon the highest bough" mean anyway?

Blame...Judy Garland. She's the one who changed the line from the way it was in the movie, evidently because "muddling through" was becoming a dated expression. When she re-recorded the song, she changed it to the way it's usually sung today.
Brad, do you have a cite for that? (I've always wanted to ask that question!)

Not that I don't believe you, but this is the sort of thing that I love to be able to dig up when I do my radio show. (Always assuming I manage to get back on the air again, but that's another story.)

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Elkhound
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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I think that one problem people have with certain songs is that they are sung inappropriately.

For example, Adolph Adam, who wrote "O Holy Night" was primarily an opera composer. He intended the solo part to be sung by trained soprano or tenor. It was never intended as a congregational song.

"O Come O Come Emmanuel" is a Gregorian chant. Gregorian chant, like almost all chant, is intended to be music as an aid to meditation. When bellowed by a congregation to a full organ, of course it isn't good. When sung softly, with either no instrumental backup or just enough to keep the singers on pitch, it can make the hair on your arms stand up thinking of humankind waiting down through the ages for the Saviour's prophesied coming.

"Once in Royal David's City" is a bit dated, but think what Mrs. Alexander was doing. She was one of the first people to try to write religious children's songs that children would actually understand and like; it was a part of a series of poems explaining the articles of the Apostles' Creed. ("All Things Bright and Beautiful" was the first, to explain "I believe in God the Father Almighty, creator of heaven and earth. . ."; "There is a Green Hill Far Away" went with "[he] suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried"; "He is Risen" goes with "on the Third Day he rose again from the dead"; "He is Coming" goes with "he shall come again to judge the quick and the dead." The others have fallen out of the repotoire.)

Whatever you may think of the poems--and they are dated--the fact that she tried to make the teachings of the faith accessible to children was an important concept. Developmental psychology was a very new science in her day, and the fact that she attempted to apply it to religious education made her a bit of a pioneer.

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"The bicycle is the most civilized conveyance known to man. Other forms of transport grow daily more nightmarish. Only the bicycle remains pure in heart."--Iris Murdoch

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Jay Temple
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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I have nothing against "Little Drummer Boy" on its own merits, because I understand it, the way Signora d.D. does. But it bugs the hell out of me when a worship service includes a walk to the manger, and the drummer boy is part of it.

ETA: Something else that I don't hold against the original song is that now I can't stop thinking of the part in Mr. Hankey and Kenny's "The Most Offensive Song Ever" where Mr. Hankey says, "... and even the Little Drummer Boy."

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"Well, it looks we're on our own ... again."--Rev. Lovejoy

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JoFo
Joy to the world, the Wii has come.


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The only ones I truly hate are:

Happy Christmas
Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time (Beatles and Christmas just don't go together)
Blue Christmas
Most versions of Little Drummer Boy (and yes, I realize that the message it's trying to send is a good one)

Most others, I like or atleast tolerate (including Christmas Shoes, which I find unintentionally hilarious). I'm very easygoing when it comes to Christmas music. To be fair though, I've never worked retail or been in any other situation that would make me forcefully overexposed to them.

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I'm not paranoid, I'm just surrounded by enemies!

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snapdragonfly
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by Elkhound:
I think that one problem people have with certain songs is that they are sung inappropriately.

For example, Adolph Adam, who wrote "O Holy Night" was primarily an opera composer. He intended the solo part to be sung by trained soprano or tenor. It was never intended as a congregational song.

"O Come O Come Emmanuel" is a Gregorian chant. Gregorian chant, like almost all chant, is intended to be music as an aid to meditation. When bellowed by a congregation to a full organ, of course it isn't good. When sung softly, with either no instrumental backup or just enough to keep the singers on pitch, it can make the hair on your arms stand up thinking of humankind waiting down through the ages for the Saviour's prophesied coming.


I agree. Our organist accompanies us on this with the really low, soft pedals - not the loud boomy ones - and it's very reverent and haunting.

Haunting is beautiful.

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"Wolves, dragons and vampires, man. Draw the nut-bars like big ol' nut-bar magnets." ~evilrabbit

(snurched because one of my nutbar family members is all about wolves and another one is all about dragons...)(with apologies to surfcitydogdad)

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AdmiralDinty
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by Syllavus:
I'll add to that the unbearable "Dominic the Donkey". *groans*

I wonder if that's a song known only in Massachusetts. I've only heard it on Mix 98.5 (or was it Kiss 108?) Or maybe it's just found in areas with large concentrations of Italian-Americans.

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"I wanna bite the hand that feeds me. I wanna bite that hand so badly. I wanna make them wish they'd never seen me." - Elvis Costello

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VersesBatman
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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The worst version of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" is sung by John Couger Mellencamp.

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It's like they took a bunch of movies, put them in a blender and turned it on really fast!-Mystery Science Theater 3000

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