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Author Topic: Most Disliked Christmas Carols
Spam & Cookies-mmm
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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"My Favorite Things" is not a Christmas song.

And ditto to everything Cervus said in her last paragraph. Christmas does not equal snow.

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Santa Mari-a
Happy Holly Days


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Most of mine have been mentioned already, but I'd like to put in another word against "Grandma Got Run Over" and "The Little Drummer Boy." I haven't heard "The Christmas Shoes," just read the lyrics.

I'm sick of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer." I like the other songs from the cartoon much better, like "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" and one that I never hear played but which I remember fondly from childhood: "Silver and Gold."

The stupidest Christmas novelty song in my book, though, is the dogs barking "Jingle Bells." I don't mind "Jingle Bells" itself, but it does irritate me when someone feels obligated to insert "Ha Ha Ha!" after "Laughing all the way..."

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Sara at home
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Gnat:
I really hate "I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" as well...as a kid, I didn't "get it" and thought how horrible it must be for a kid to witness his/her mother cheating, and I think that dislike has just carried on, long after I grew up. Besides that, I don't mind most of them...I just hate when current artists try to be so original with Christmas carols by just changing the timing or doing some other superfluous thing that makes them sound odd, not good.

One day around Christmas I was in the mall with my four year old son. There was the regular mall Santa sitting at his throne, waiting for kids and there weren't any. Santa got up, walked over to me, took me in his arms and planted a big smooch right on my lips. My son saw mommy kissing Santa Claus right in the middle of the mall in broad daylight. His eyes got big and his mouth hung open. "Santa", as it turned out, was someone I had known since high school and his kissing me hello wasn't any big deal or creepy or anything. But I had to do some fancy tap dancing to explain to my son; fortunately we had been using the mall-Santa's-aren't-the-real-Santa-but-Santa's-assistants explanation in the past year.

Oh, I hate the song too. Always have.

And "All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth". Hate it, hate it, hate it.

"Rocking Around the Christmas Tree" and "Jingle Bell Rock" have a good beat and are fun to dance to: I give them a 75.

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Syllavus
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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I second "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time" by Paul McCartney, it sets me on edge something awful.

I'll add to that the unbearable "Dominic the Donkey". *groans*

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snapdragonfly
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Heh.

See, there's another reason to be Anglican - no Christmas songs until December 24th. Instead we have Advent songs, which the only one anyone has ever heard of is O Come O Come Emmanuel.

Seriously, I do agree with all the snopesters so far as to why they dislike certain songs. I'm glad I'm not the only person disliking Silent Night. Too slow.

Oh, and you wanna talk about 6 year olds singing Away in a Manger badly? At the Jr. Leagues' Mistletoe Fair this year, I heard the worst. version. ever. OMG. Curdled the blood.

I hate "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire" (the Christmas song.) It's that horrible, not really rhyme-y but sorta rhyme-y, meandering type of lyric that reminds me of the tuneless little ditties that 4 year olds sing to themselves when they play. UGH.

Don't like "Jingle Bells," sick of it. Actually that was originally a Thanksgiving song, I heard.

Don't think I saw these mentioned yet:
"Blue Christmas", ick:
"Twelve Days of Christmas" (the real version, oh jeez when will it end. I love the various comedic takes on it that generally include how drunk they end up getting from all the liquor as presents: I'm sick, but that always tickles me.)
"I'll be Home for Christmas." bleah.

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ThistleSoftware
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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I was shopping at Forever 21 a few days ago, and they had on this horrendous cd of various modern R&B/Pop singers doing original Christmas tunes. Jessica Simpson, Beyonce Knowles, et cetera. That singing style (breathy and sexy with lots of over the top noodling) irritates the hell out of me, plus the lyrics all involved getting love for Christmas. So blinkin bad.

As for more traditional Christmas songs, I don't really dislike any of them if they're done well, but the easy listening versions one usually hears while shopping really drive me over the edge.

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Jay Temple
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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I agree that most attempts by rockers to write Christmas music are crap. Among songs that are actually about the Nativity, I hate anything that refers to Christmas as the day Jesus was born. ("Love Came Down at Christmas" explicitly, "Good Christian Men/Friends Rejoice" by implication.)

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Spamamander in a pear tree
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Paul really does need to pay for "Simply Having A Wonderful Christmastime". (And so does everyone on this thread who gave me the earworm. Yarrrgh!) Horrible, horrible. I used to work in a clothing store something like 13 years ago and I still have the pop Christmas carols on the loop tape burned in my mind. That was one of them. Along with "Santa Baby" and a wretched 50's version of "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree".

I'm going to add "Do They Know it's Christmastime" (BandAid 20) Some of the other awful pop Christmas somgs are on the album, but the main song which was the major release... uggh. I have always been a big fan of Bob Geldof's efforts but I loathe this song and it's 80's flashbacks. It's about starvation in the Sudan and other African nations- but why would they know its Christmastime, anyway? A plea for people in Western nations to remember their plight in a season of giving is one thing; this almost sounds like missionary work to let them know its Christmas.

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Sara at home
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by ThistleSmelt:
I was shopping at Forever 21 a few days ago, and they had on this horrendous cd of various modern R&B/Pop singers doing original Christmas tunes. Jessica Simpson, Beyonce Knowles, et cetera. That singing style (breathy and sexy with lots of over the top noodling) irritates the hell out of me, plus the lyrics all involved getting love for Christmas. So blinkin bad.

I think any singer who takes a Christmas song (or the National Anthem) and turns it into a ****-me song should have his or her vocal cords ripped out.

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Assume that all my posts will be edited at least once. Dyslexic -- can't spell, can't type, can't proofread.

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Max_Renn
Jingle Bell Hock


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Some of these have been cited already but I'll second them...

"Little Drummer Boy" Nonsensical glurgey garbage, and narratively unlikely to boot. Mary's just given birth in horribly unsanitary conditions in a cold stable, she's surrounded by genuflecting strangers and farm animals, and along comes this kid and his percussion instrument, banging away. If I were Mary, I'd be flinging cowchips at him by the first drum roll.

"We Wish You A Merry Christmas" A song, apparently, about some obnoxious houseguests with a keenly-developed sense of entitlement. "We want figgy pudding, so bring it out here! And we won't leave until we get some! We wish you a Merry Christmas, dammit, and keep the nog flowing!"

"Jingle Bell Rock" Awful no matter who does it, but the Hall & Oates video for their version is especially vomit-worthy.

"O Holy Night" I can't sing, but to my tin ears, this song seems to have a three or four octave range, putting it in the neighborhood of the Star Spangled Banner, and hardly anyone can sing that one properly for that reason. Although Eric Cartman's version of "O Holy Night" will still bring me to paroxysms of hysteria no matter how often I hear it.

Max "cattle prod" Renn

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kit_n_caboodle
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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Winter Wonderland makes me gag. (I know, it isn't really a Christmas carol, but it's only sung at Christmas time, so I think it's fair game.)

quote:
He'll say: Are you married?
We'll say: No man,
But you can do the job
When you're in town.

WTF is that supposed to mean? It seems kinda dirty to me.

And there's something about the song's rhyming scheme that just rubs me the wrong way.

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rodh
Deck the Malls


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I hate all of them with one exception: "Mistress for Christmas" by AC/DC. Now there's a NFBSK'n Christmas song.
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Artemis
The First USA Noel


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I basically hate them all, too. As for "rock" Christmas songs, I really like the Beach Boys' "Little St. Nick." But that's about the only one. (You've gotta love the Beach Boys, though.)

I also think that that line in Winter Wonderland is a little creepy.

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DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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I like most Christmas songs including many of the ones y'all don't like, but Mannheim Steamroller's version of Jingle bells sucks the big one. It's Jingle Bells on Valium.
Never heard Christmas Shoes and boy do I feel lucky!

Dawn--I think White Christmas is over rated too!--Storm

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snapdragonfly
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by Sara at home:
quote:
Originally posted by ThistleSmelt:
I was shopping at Forever 21 a few days ago, and they had on this horrendous cd of various modern R&B/Pop singers doing original Christmas tunes. Jessica Simpson, Beyonce Knowles, et cetera. That singing style (breathy and sexy with lots of over the top noodling) irritates the hell out of me, plus the lyrics all involved getting love for Christmas. So blinkin bad.

I think any singer who takes a Christmas song (or the National Anthem) and turns it into a ****-me song should have his or her vocal cords ripped out.
Oh I agree totally.

I'll top that even. Anyone who has their 7 year old daughter use "Santa Baby" to do that and does it all coy and torchy oughta have their parental rights revoked.

I witnessed that very thing this year at the Mistletoe Fair. I'll take the off key wailing of "Away in a Manger", as bad as it was.

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(snurched because one of my nutbar family members is all about wolves and another one is all about dragons...)(with apologies to surfcitydogdad)

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surfcitydogdad
Jingle Bell Hock


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Hilarious, Sara, and so many of the other posts! We all have our peeves about these songs, and pop stars mangling them for their egos is one of mine, too (they tend to do it to the national anthem, as well, minus the attempted sexiness).

My favorite Xmas albums featuring popular musicians are Emmylou Harris' "Light in the Stable" (both I and my dog Buddy loved it - he'd lie in front of the speakers), and John Denver and the Muppets. Denver did an album (without the Muppets) but it included, for some reason, a very country "Daddy Please Don't Get Drunk This Christmas" - yuck!

I'm not keen on hearing Elvis or any of the others - save Bing Crosby - perform Xmas carols, especially religious, but sometimes even secular ones, for the reason mentioned by Thistle. I suppose there's a Madonna Xmas album (with the emphasis on "X" perhaps), but I don't even want to think about it!

But Sara has reminded me of one of my old 45s from the 50s. Ella Fitzgerald sings "Santa Claus Got Stuck in My Chimney;" I'm think it's supposed to be for kids - the flip side is a non-Christmas kids' song, "Molasses" - but you never know. Actually, I like them both, although I do tend to think there's some sort of double-entendre to the chimney song, and I always sing "Molasses" as "moles' asses."

Speaking of recent songs, commercial songs, and 45's; Gene Autrey's "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer" is really just the B-side to "If It Doesn't Snow on Christmas," which was expected to be the hit.

Speaking of novelties, EQ Taft mentioned (in the favorites thread) the Bing Crosby/David Bowie Xmas special (TV). That was weird! I'm glad someone else remembers it. When I've mentioned it, people always look at me as if I'm high, but what were the producers smoking when they thought of that one? I'm not saying it's good or bad, just bizarre.

Maybe I should start a thread about the albums, 45s, artists, and novelty song, as opposed to the actual Christmas carols themselves, since so many odd things have been mentioned here.

Lastly, I'm pleased to learn that at least some other folks share my dislike for Silent Night, primarily because it's performed too slowly (or just IS too slow; at least it's DIFFERENT when it's in German or accompanied by guitar).

PS: Note my wolf avatar, snapdragon. Hrumph!

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DadOf3
Jingle Bell Hock


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The thing about the line in Winter Wonderland isn't really all that creepy. See, they're pretending the snowman is Parson Brown - a church minister, see? So when he asks if they're married and they say, "you can do the job when you're in town," they're saying he can perform the ceremony.

The worst part to me of Winter Wonderland is how it switches keys three times. It starts in, say, F, then goes to A, then C, then back to F. It sounds good, but it's really hard to sing, especially a cappella.

"Little Saint Nick" is the Beach Boys spoofing themselves, really. It's a Christmas version of "Little Deuce Coupe", with only a slightly different tune.

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Giselle
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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I just read this thread and realized it would be easier to just name the songs I actually like. I never realize how much I dislike Christmas music until the holidays.

1."I'll be home for Christmas" sung by Babyface

2."Have yourself a merry little Christmas" sung by Judy Garland

And for sentimental reasons I enjoy the entire album "Pretty Paper" by Willie Nelson

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smackmac
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
Originally posted by rodh:
I hate all of them with one exception: "Mistress for Christmas" by AC/DC. Now there's a NFBSK'n Christmas song.

Love that one, any time of year.

I have no problem with any Christmas song (with the exception of "Grandma got run over...") until about December 15. Then I have been so oversaturated that I can't listen to one without immediately changing the channel or leaving the area. Which is why I try to get all my shopping done before then, so I don't have to head into a store where they're played non-stop.

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Ramblin' Dave, quietly making noise
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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I agree on most of what's been mentioned, although I do love "Jingle Bell Rock" and "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree," and I have a soft-spot for "Blue Christmas" as I once sang it to a room full of Taiwanese kindergartners. [Wink] But if asked to name one that I really can't stand, it would be "Christmas Eve in Washington." You've probably never heard it unless you've been in or around DC in December. If not, consider yourself lucky.

Ramblin' "there are THREE syllables in 'Chesapeake,' THREE" Dave

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PallasAthena
Xboxing Day


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I can't stand Little Drummer Boy. I thought I was the only one! Thank DYOC. I was feeling so alone.

I love the more classical christmas music (performed well), and the more melancholy the song, the better for some reason. I love how pagan Christmas has always felt. Winter is just a time where things feel older, more mysterious, and more magical to me. And I don't mean magical in that smarmy "Christmas Magic" kind of way. More of a Winter Solstice, darkest day of the year kind of way. The older and more pagan sounding the carol (or winter song) the more I like it for some odd reason.

So based on that, modern "rock" songs having to do with Christmas make me absolutely gag. Ugh. Gross, gross, gross.

The only exception I make is John Denver and the Muppets. Or anything Muppet related and Christmas. [Smile] Or anything Muppet related any time of the year.

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Mistletoey Chloe
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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That psychotic "Bells" thing. Ding ding ding ding. DING ding ding ding. DING ding ding ding, ad infinitum.

Also any song that deliberately excludes those aged 93 and up.

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NancyFancyPants
Deck the Malls


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I also thought I was the only one who hates "The Little Drummer Boy." Yecch. Glad I'm not alone.

I could also do without "We Three Kings," which I have to sing in church every single flippin' year. Makes me wanna vom.

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MaxKaladin
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by DadOf3:
The thing about the line in Winter Wonderland isn't really all that creepy. See, they're pretending the snowman is Parson Brown - a church minister, see? So when he asks if they're married and they say, "you can do the job when you're in town," they're saying he can perform the ceremony.

Right. I always assumed it was a reference back to the days when not every little town had it's own priest. There were "circuit" priests who would make the rounds of various little towns. They were saying the priest for their area could marry them when he came to their town. I nver thought it was creepy in the least.
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gnome
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Gnat:
I really hate "I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" as well...as a kid, I didn't "get it" and thought how horrible it must be for a kid to witness his/her mother cheating, and I think that dislike has just carried on, long after I grew up. Besides that, I don't mind most of them...I just hate when current artists try to be so original with Christmas carols by just changing the timing or doing some other superfluous thing that makes them sound odd, not good.

If you caught on to the oddness of that song, you'd probably enjoy TMBG's "Santa's Beard" ... the same story from the point of view of the father.

quote:

I saw my baby wearing Santa's beard
She kissed him once and whispered in his ear
I saw my baby wearing Santa's beard
I wish he would go
He's breaking up my home


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MaxKaladin
The First USA Noel


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I heard the "shoes" one for the first time the other night and I hated it.

In fact, I was just reflecting about this whole thing this morning. I like a lot of the old "classic" Christmas songs and even some of the ones done more recently. What I hate, however, are the songs where some doofus celebrity goes and takes a perfectly good Christmas song and screws it up. For instance, I heard what started off as "White Christmas" with Bing Crosby singing it. "Great", I think, "I love this song!" Then some annoying woman starts screeching along with Bing and ruins the whole thing. Sometimes, they try to "jazz up" a song or otherwise mess with the melody and everything else. Just leave the song alone. If they want to do a Christmas song, they should come up with an original one and leave the classic alone. It's popular because people liked it the way it was. What makes them think they can do a better job?

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queen of the bah-caramels
Jingle Bell Hock


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All Christmas "songs" by Cliff Richard are automaticaaly included in this list.

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Aud
We Three Blings


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I love the Carol of the Bells but I hate hate hate Trans-Siberian Orchestra's version. Unfortunately, it seems to have crowded all other versions out of radio lineup.
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Jay Temple
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by Flowy Chloe:
Also any song that deliberately excludes those aged 93 and up.

It took me a second reading to figure out what you're talking about. I take it you also dislike any song that excludes those who haven't had their first birthday?

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Mistletoey Chloe
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Yes, but at least they don't seethe with resentment about it, as they're too little to know they're being deliberately excluded.

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~~Ai am in mai prrrrrraime!~~

Posts: 10111 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
kmcm
We Three Blings


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Two pages already and no one has mentioned the ultra nauseating "Mary Did You Know?" Of course she did! She talk to a damn angel before she agreed to let G-d knock her up!

That song is too repetitive for me. It's very painful to listen to.

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Of course this land is dangerous! All of the animals are capably murderous. Especially the penguins.

i'm a figment of my own imagination, sometimes i don't exist

Posts: 1099 | From: Kitsap County, WA | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Ramblin' Dave, quietly making noise:
"Christmas Eve in Washington." You've probably never heard it unless you've been in or around DC in December. If not, consider yourself lucky.

Ramblin' "there are THREE syllables in 'Chesapeake,' THREE" Dave

I don't think I've ever heard that but I have heard Crabs for Christmas which is listenable.

Dawn--ear marks roasting on an open fire--Storm

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Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!!

Posts: 4771 | From: The Berkeley of the East Coast: Montgomery County MD | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
evilrabbit
Jingle Bell Hock


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"Do You Hear What I Hear?" irks me to no end. I can't say why, just something about it bugs me.

Pretty much any Christmas song but the 50th time I've heard it will make me try to scratch my ears off. Which is why I have a collection of non-standard Christmas music which I listen to.

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"My sandwich choice is uncertain, until I actually order. It's like Schrodinger's Sandwich."
"Is plutonium involved in this sandwich in any way?"
"Maybe."

Posts: 496 | From: Whitby, ON, Canada | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Andrew of Ware, England
A-Ware in a Manger


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Just remembered Baby's First Christmas. I only have one veersion of it. I only played it once, but that was enough.

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Andrew, Ware, England

Posts: 1709 | From: Ware, England | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Andrew of Ware, England:
Just remembered Baby's First Christmas. I only have one veersion of it. I only played it once, but that was enough.

Oh my God, that one! Some torture device left over from the Soviet Union days.
Great replacement for ipecac!

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Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!!

Posts: 4771 | From: The Berkeley of the East Coast: Montgomery County MD | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
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