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Author Topic: Okla. Man posts sign offering $1K in exchange for 12-24 year-old virgin
Ryda Wong, EBfCo.
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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Sick. Just sick.

Article

From the article:

"I'm just somebody who is getting up there in years, and I'm looking for a born-again, God-fearing virgin between the ages of 12 and 24 who can bear me children," said Thelemann, who was divorced in 1989. "What's the problem? I just think I have some wicked neighbors."


The first sign was stolen. His new one specifies that 'he's not interested in a "pig-worshipping, heathen, white-supremacist wife."'

Huh? Pig worshipping? WTF?

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So many spankings! It feels so good! But at the same time, I don't care about meeting your family! - I'mNotDedalus:

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Blue Fuzzy Thing
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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quote:
Originally posted by Ryda Wong:
The first sign was stolen. His new one specifies that 'he's not interested in a "pig-worshipping, heathen, white-supremacist wife."'

Huh? Pig worshipping? WTF?

I'm guessing that he specified a non-pig worshiping wife because he doesn't want her to worship the ground he walks on.

Blue Fuzzy Thing

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People say I have ADD, but they just don’t understand that... Oh look! A chicken!

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guruwan2b
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Gee, I wonder why the girls aren't lined up around the block for this guy.... [Roll Eyes]

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Too much of this navel gazing and we'll disappear up our own arses.
Danvers Carew

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JetEd73
Deck the Malls


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If he's a good Christian then maybe he should pray for a wife.

then again, maybe he has and it looks like the answer is NO.

sick, just sick.

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America=Land of the perpetually offended!

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Lainie
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Perhaps he's conflated the Jewish and Islamic proscriptions against eating pork (because pigs are unclean) with the Hindu proscription against eating beef (because cows are sacred), and "pig-worshipping," in his lexicon, means non-Christian?

Or perhaps he's just batshit crazy.

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How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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ratface
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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Maybe he just finished watching 'The Ten Commandments" on tv. Didn't they worship a golden pig? What it was a calf? Oh, well maybe he got mixed up. Maybe he just finished watching "Lord of the Flies" and pig-worship was on his mind.
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Nicki
Deck the Malls


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Can't they legally do something? If he was looking for a 12 year old on-line and got caught he'd be locked up.
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Lainie
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quote:
Originally posted by Nicki:
Can't they legally do something? If he was looking for a 12 year old on-line and got caught he'd be locked up.

quote:
Neighbors asked the Stephens County sheriff's department to stop Thelemann from displaying the sign, but Undersherriff Bob Hill said the sign was gone by the time deputies visited Thelemann's home.

That's because it was stolen, Thelemann said. He put up another sign Wednesday that didn't include the minor ages.

Now, if he actually tries to marry, or have sex with, a 12YO, they can arrest him for that.

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How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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DougW
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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quote:
Originally posted by Lainie:

Or perhaps he's just batshit crazy.

Most likely.

On the other hand, it could be this guy's version of a spite fence.

There is a house in my MIL's neighborhood that was painted the worst shade of bright purple you can imagine. This is a standard middle class 4 bedroom suburban neighborhood. The owner did it, (according to MIL) about 10 years ago after his surrounding neighbors called code enforcement on him a bunch of times for an over grown, weed-filled, junk-strewn lawn. Maybe the guy in the OP is just doing it to get his neighbor's goat. At least that is what I am telling myself so I don't have to think someone is actually advertising for a 12 year old virgin wife.

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DemonWolf
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quote:
Originally posted by Nicki:
Can't they legally do something? If he was looking for a 12 year old on-line and got caught he'd be locked up.

Depends on the marriage laws in your state. Some states allow people younger than 18 to get married with parental consent. If they were married, consumating the marriage would certainly be legal.
I don't know how young the law will allow, though.


ETA: massachusetts general law do not have a lower age restriction:
quote:
CHAPTER 207. MARRIAGE


NOTICE OF INTENTION OF MARRIAGE


Chapter 207: Section 25. Nonage minors; authorization of marriage


Section 25. The probate court for the county where, or a district court within the judicial district of which, a minor under the age specified in the preceding section resides may, after hearing, make an order allowing the marriage of such minor, if the parents or surviving parent of such minor, or, if only one such parent resides in the commonwealth, that parent, or, if neither such parent is alive and resident thereof, or if the parent or parents qualified as aforesaid to consent are disqualified as hereinafter provided, a legal guardian with custody of the person of such minor has consented to such order. If a parent has deserted his family, or if found to be incapacitated by reason of mental illness and incapable of consent, or if found unfit under the provisions of section five of chapter two hundred and one to have custody of such minor, it shall not be necessary to obtain his consent to such order. If a parent whose consent would be required if living in the commonwealth lives outside thereof and the address of such parent is known, such notice of the proceedings shall be given him as the probate or district court may order. Said court may also after hearing make such order in the case of a person whose age is alleged to exceed that specified in the preceding section, but who is unable to produce an official record of birth, whereby the reasonable doubt of the clerk or registrar, as exercised under section thirty-five, may be removed. Upon receipt of a certified copy of such order by the clerk or registrar of the town where such minor resides, he shall receive the notice required by law and issue a certificate as in other cases.



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IMJW-052804

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Seanette
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
Originally posted by ratface:
Maybe he just finished watching 'The Ten Commandments" on tv. Didn't they worship a golden pig? What it was a calf? Oh, well maybe he got mixed up. Maybe he just finished watching "Lord of the Flies" and pig-worship was on his mind.

It was a calf, at least in the KJV of Exodus.

I have to agree with the general sentiment that this guy has a few screws loose, is a total jackass, or both.

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Signora Del Drago
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I, too, vote for batshit crazy, few screws loose, total jackass.

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"This air we're breathing. Oxygen, isn't it?"~I’mNotDedalus, impersonating Vincent D’Onofrio.|"Sometimes trying to communicate can be like walking through a minefield."~wanderwoman
"Give people a break. It's not easy doing a life."~Joshua Halberstam

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guruwan2b
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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OK, who's the wise guy that got "Fancy" running through my head???

How long do you thing before some whacked out junkie tries to sell her 14 year old daughter to this guy???

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Too much of this navel gazing and we'll disappear up our own arses.
Danvers Carew

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Signora Del Drago
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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quote:
Originally posted by guruwan2b:
OK, who's the wise guy that got "Fancy" running through my head???

How long do you thing before some whacked out junkie tries to sell her 14 year old daughter to this guy???

*raises hand in embarrassment* It must have been me. [Frown]

Probably a day or so. [Eek!]

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"This air we're breathing. Oxygen, isn't it?"~I’mNotDedalus, impersonating Vincent D’Onofrio.|"Sometimes trying to communicate can be like walking through a minefield."~wanderwoman
"Give people a break. It's not easy doing a life."~Joshua Halberstam

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Kid Kilowatt
Deck the Malls


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quote:
"I think I just have some wicked neighbors".
Well, obviously.

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- Magnolia

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Squishy0405
Wii Wiish You A Merry Chriistmas


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I'm thinking he just likes bacon?

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"Fate is like a strange, unpopular resturant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never ask for and don't always like."-Lemony Snicket

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Mistletoey Chloe
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
The first sign was stolen. His new one specifies that 'he's not interested in a "pig-worshipping, heathen, white-supremacist wife."'

Well, TGirl really likes bacon. And she's Unitarian Universalist, which I imagine is close enough in his eyes. Good thing she's not, AFAIK, in the "white-supremacist" camp, or she'd have to cross this guy off her list.

Come to think of it, I like pigs and don't go to church. *phew*

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~~Ai am in mai prrrrrraime!~~

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snopes
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quote:
On the other hand, it could be this guy's version of a spite fence.
I'm guessing he's just trying to yank some people's chains.

But it just goes to show you ... if you allow the mockery of gay marriage, next thing you know gays will be trying to buy 12-year-old children for mates.

- snopes

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skeptic
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quote:
Originally posted by Lainie:
quote:
Originally posted by Nicki:
Can't they legally do something? If he was looking for a 12 year old on-line and got caught he'd be locked up.

quote:
Neighbors asked the Stephens County sheriff's department to stop Thelemann from displaying the sign, but Undersherriff Bob Hill said the sign was gone by the time deputies visited Thelemann's home.

That's because it was stolen, Thelemann said. He put up another sign Wednesday that didn't include the minor ages.

Now, if he actually tries to marry, or have sex with, a 12YO, they can arrest him for that.

Isn't the intent to commit a crime also a crime itself.

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I like free speech. It lets me know who the idiots are.

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Lainie
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quote:
Originally posted by skeptic:
quote:
Originally posted by Lainie:
quote:
Originally posted by Nicki:
Can't they legally do something? If he was looking for a 12 year old on-line and got caught he'd be locked up.

quote:
Neighbors asked the Stephens County sheriff's department to stop Thelemann from displaying the sign, but Undersherriff Bob Hill said the sign was gone by the time deputies visited Thelemann's home.

That's because it was stolen, Thelemann said. He put up another sign Wednesday that didn't include the minor ages.

Now, if he actually tries to marry, or have sex with, a 12YO, they can arrest him for that.

Isn't the intent to commit a crime also a crime itself.
No. Conspiring to commit a crime may be a crime; attempting to commit a crime is a crime; but mere intent, no. Those guys who get busted in pedophile stings are busted for the action of attempting to meet underage girls, not for the intent to do so.

Besides, the sign wasn't there when the the cops got there, so they couldn't prove intent, anyhow.

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How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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snopes
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quote:
Those guys who get busted in pedophile stings are busted for the action of attempting to meet underage girls, not for the intent to do so.
That's really a distinction without a difference, since meeting (or attempting to meet)
underage girls isn't a crime unless you do so with the intent of having sex with them.

- snopes

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Pogue Ma-humbug
Happy Christmas (Malls are Open)


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quote:
Originally posted by Ryda Wong:
The first sign was stolen. His new one specifies that 'he's not interested in a "pig-worshipping, heathen, white-supremacist wife."'

For the record, neither am I. [Big Grin]

Pogue

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Let's drink to the causes in your life:
Your family, your friends, the union, your wife.

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GenYus
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quote:
Originally posted by DougW:
[Maybe the guy in the OP is just doing it to get his neighbor's goat.

It would have to be a virgin goat. [Eek!]

quote:
Originally posted by Chloe:
quote:
The first sign was stolen. His new one specifies that 'he's not interested in a "pig-worshipping, heathen, white-supremacist wife."'

Well, TGirl really likes bacon. And she's Unitarian Universalist, which I imagine is close enough in his eyes. Good thing she's not, AFAIK, in the "white-supremacist" camp, or she'd have to cross this guy off her list.
But are those new restrictions in addition to the previous specs? Or a totally new set of specs? Because T-Girl is beyond the range and (from what I understand, not from personal knowledge) not qualified (nudge-nudge, wink-wink, say no more).

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IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan

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Canuckistan
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quote:
The new sign also noted he's not interested in a "pig-worshipping, heathen, white-supremacist wife."
I think this guy's hoping opposites attract.

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People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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moonfall86
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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My first thought for "pig-worshipping" meant that the potential husband would be the "pig" and he doesn't want a wife who caters to her husband's every whim. That going along with "white-supremacist" suggests maybe he doesn't want the stereotypical submissive ultraconservative "redneck" wife (no offense meant to any rednecks, I just don't know how to describe it)...although people like that don't tend to be "heathens" either....

Maybe he does mean "pig-worshipping" literally. Who knows? Anybody who advertises like this has a problem. Plus, anyone who advertises looking for a virgin bride probably would LIKE a subserviant girl.

Heh, this is ridiculous. I'm glad his lives far, far, away from me.

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TurquoiseGirl
The "Was on Sale" Song


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quote:
Originally posted by GenYus:
originally posted by Chloe:
quote:
Well, TGirl really likes bacon. And she's Unitarian Universalist, which I imagine is close enough in his eyes. Good thing she's not, AFAIK, in the "white-supremacist" camp, or she'd have to cross this guy off her list.

But are those new restrictions in addition to the previous specs? Or a totally new set of specs? Because T-Girl is beyond the range and (from what I understand, not from personal knowledge) not qualified (nudge-nudge, wink-wink, say no more).
And you forgot the biggest barrier of all. He wants her to "bear his children". [Eek!] [Eek!] [Eek!]

I guess the only way I could qualify is that I don't think that I could be a white supremacist, even if I wanted to. They wouldn't let me in due to my heritage. [Wink]

Turquoise "How long of a period of celibacy before I can be a virgin again?" Girl

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There are people who drive really nice cars who feel that [those] cars won't be as special if other people drive them too. Where I come from, we call those people "selfish self-satisfied gits." -Chloe

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Mistletoey Chloe
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That was weeks ago. And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids!

(ETA: When I saw GenYus's post, it did cross my mind to make a joke about when one's virginity grew back. But it's funnier when you do it).

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~~Ai am in mai prrrrrraime!~~

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GenYus
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quote:
Originally posted by TurquoiseGirl:
quote:
Originally posted by GenYus:
originally posted by Chloe:
quote:
Well, TGirl really likes bacon. And she's Unitarian Universalist, which I imagine is close enough in his eyes. Good thing she's not, AFAIK, in the "white-supremacist" camp, or she'd have to cross this guy off her list.

But are those new restrictions in addition to the previous specs? Or a totally new set of specs? Because T-Girl is beyond the range and (from what I understand, not from personal knowledge) not qualified (nudge-nudge, wink-wink, say no more).
And you forgot the biggest barrier of all. He wants her to "bear his children". [Eek!] [Eek!] [Eek!]
That would be a bit squidgy.

quote:
I guess the only way I could qualify is that I don't think that I could be a white supremacist, even if I wanted to. They wouldn't let me in due to my heritage. [Wink]

Actually, I would think a non-white white supremacist would be popular since you would be acknowleding (hypothetically) their supremecy. It would be a kind of Aunt Tom sort of thing.

quote:
Turquoise "How long of a period of celibacy before I can be a virgin again?" Girl
Good question. I would think it would be based on one of two things. It would either be the same length of time before you weren't a virgin the first time (IE, if you lost your cherry at 18, then it would be 18 years before you got it back). Or, it would be based on how many years you've been active. So if you lost it at 18 and stopped using it at 38, then it would be 20 years until you get it back. Or, it could be based on your state of mind. So if you aren't using it for long enough that you forget all that you've learned about it since you lost it, then you've regained it.

Gen "I've confused myself" Yus

--------------------
IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan

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Mistletoey Chloe
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I have it on good authority that the correct amount of time is one day for every orgasm.

I don't know if that's good news or bad news...

--------------------
~~Ai am in mai prrrrrraime!~~

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guruwan2b
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It ain't never coming back......

--------------------
Too much of this navel gazing and we'll disappear up our own arses.
Danvers Carew

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shifty rob
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
Originally posted by Chloe:
I have it on good authority that the correct amount of time is one day for every orgasm.

I don't know if that's good news or bad news...

Damn, I've been regaining my virginity on a depressingly regular basis then.

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"They got a name for the winners in the world; I want a name when I lose" -Steely Dan

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Mistletoey Chloe
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And what about your poor wife???

[fish]

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~~Ai am in mai prrrrrraime!~~

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shifty rob
Jingle Bell Hock


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She's......nevermind. There is no good answer to that question, Chloe.

Let's just say we oughta be keeping pace with each other,so it's probably equally depressing for her.

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"They got a name for the winners in the world; I want a name when I lose" -Steely Dan

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The Goof
Deck the Malls


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quote:
I have it on good authority that the correct amount of time is one day for every orgasm.

Damn, my wife is still a virgin. [Embarrassed]

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"It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid,than to open it and remove all doubt."- Mark Twain

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