quote:Originally posted by ladyknight: And Barbara, I did not know that hamburgers consumed under conditions of duress did not have calories. I shall have to keep that in mind for future visits.
It's a stress effect. Whatever residual calories they contain get worried off during the drive to the inlaws.
Barbara "thus says Sarah Tonin" Mikkelson
Maple"Is it true? "Leaf
-------------------- "For me, religion is like a rhinoceros: I don't have one, and I'd really prefer not to be trampled by yours. But it is impressive, and even beautiful, and, to be honest, the world would be slightly worse off if there weren't any." -Silas Sparkhammer Posts: 3239 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2003
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4 oz. Lean Broiled Chicken Breast 1 cup Steamed Spinach 1 cup Herb Tea 1 Oreo Cookie
Mid-Afternoon Snack
Rest of the Oreos in the package 2 Pints Rocky Road Ice Cream 1 Jar Hot Fudge Sauce Nuts, Cherries, Whipped Cream
Dinner
Loaves of Garlic Bread with Cheese Large Sausage, Mushroom & Cheese Pizza 4 Cans or 1 Large Pitcher of Beer 3 Milky Way or Snickers Candy Bars
Rules For This Diet
1. If you eat something, and no one else sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. When drinking a diet soda while eating a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count as long as you don't eat more than they do.
4. Foods used for medicinal purposes NEVER count. Example: hot chocolate, brandy, toast, and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie-related foods do not have calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel. Example: Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints and Tootsie Rolls.
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking the cookie causes calorie leakage.
8. Late-night snacks have no calories. The refrigerator light is not strong enough for the calories to see their way into the calorie counter.
9. If you are in the process of preparing something, food licked off knives and spoons have no calories. Examples: Peanut Butter on a knife and ice cream on a spoon.
10. Food of the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are spinach and pistachio ice cream, mushrooms and white chocolate.
11. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other.
Also, food consumed for business purposes has no calories. So those donuts at your weekly meetings are guilt free!
posted
Also, food consumed out of town contains no calories. When you return home, the calories won't know where to find you.
-------------------- Come on, come on - spin a little tighter Come on, come on - and the world's a little brighter Posts: 5595 | From: Columbus, OH : The Soccer Capital of America | Registered: Sep 2002
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posted
Anything that has a fruit or vegetable in it has no calories, because fruit and veggies negate all other calories. Thus, things like apple pie, strawberry donuts, and chocolate-covered cherries have no calories. Neither do potato chips or Fritos, because potatoes and corn are vegetables.
-------------------- "You better respect the Rap or the Rap won't respect you." Ledatru Posts: 1141 | From: Chicago, IL | Registered: May 2005
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posted
Let's not forget Bill Cosby's wonderful reasoning why chocolate cake is good for you. It's made from eggs, wheat and milk, all healthy things.
-------------------- "Tis too much proved that with devotion's visage and pious action we do sugar o'er the devil himself." - Hamlet Posts: 344 | From: Pittsburgh, PA | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
Let us not forget that beer is a health food, being made from grains, and grain is the base of the food pyramid.
-------------------- "There is a race between mankind and the universe. Mankind is trying to build bigger, better, faster, and more foolproof machines. The universe is trying to build bigger, better, and faster fools. So far the universe is winning." -Albert Einstein Posts: 1058 | From: Yakima, WA | Registered: Dec 2005
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Do you have any wine? All of this would go a lot smoother in an altered state of reality. Posts: 779 | From: Southampton, England | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
Don't forget that any food item purchased for "charitable purposes" does not have any calories. So you are good with Girl Scout cookies, school or church bake sale items, candy purchased for school or sports team fundraisers, etc., etc.
-------------------- Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of -- but do it in private, and wash your hands afterwards.
- Lazarus Long Posts: 300 | From: Waldorf, MD | Registered: Jan 2006
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"Leaf
