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Author Topic: Jesus selling penis enlargement!
senshisteph
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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Best. Spam. Evar...

quote:
----- Original Message -----

From: Jesus
To: (deleted)
Subject: Be delighted with You are just a click away from something which will eliminate your most distressing trouble.
Date: Sun, 20 Aug 2006 12:09:35 +0300


Fresh stuff

Just imagine how wonderful your life would become with a bigger
size and increased duration. You won't be able to get enough of
your renowned, increased tool - months or even less of usage, and
you're there!
After you apply this solution to your equipment, your girls will
call you Mr. Big Size. Sufficient size, rigidity and staying power
will be just among the few things you'll start enjoying. You may
find what you need here: (link deleted)
Unlike other products, this one gives you permanent gains in size -
and loads of pleasure!


Do as I say, and not as I do A false witness that speaketh lies,
and he that soweth discord among brethren. Prevention is better
than cure. Ask a silly question and you get a silly answer Drink
waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine
own well.



--------------------
七転び八起き
nana korobi ya oki
'fall down seven times, get up eight.'

Posts: 155 | From: Nagoya, Japan | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
snapdragonfly
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Oh. My. God.

--------------------
"Wolves, dragons and vampires, man. Draw the nut-bars like big ol' nut-bar magnets." ~evilrabbit

(snurched because one of my nutbar family members is all about wolves and another one is all about dragons...)(with apologies to surfcitydogdad)

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Troberg
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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Well, at least he has experience in rising again.

--------------------
/Troberg

Posts: 4360 | From: Borlänge, Sweden | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
The Diceman
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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Isn't there a Bible verse or saying that says "All things are possible through him" or something like that?

I guess it's true.

--------------------
"If I had two faces, do you think I'd be wearing this one?"

http://www.westofrome.com

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Forgotten Fay
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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What snapdragonfly said...

--------------------
"Smile for me when I cannot Smile anymore..." ~ Myself

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SantasHobbit
Frosty the Salesman


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"The Newly Increased Passion of the Christ"

Blessed are the penis pump manufacturers, for they shall inherit the incredibly large schlongs.

Not sure about drinking from the cistern though...Ew

ETA It should have read "...for they shall inherit the girth" but *shrugs*, too late.

--------------------
Angsty little hobbitssssses

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Blue Fuzzy Thing
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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Well, I guess we know now what Jesus would do...

Blue Fuzzy Thing

--------------------
People say I have ADD, but they just don’t understand that... Oh look! A chicken!

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Purple Iguana
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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Whosoever believeth in Him shall not die, but have everlasting peace...

So, does that mean size DOES matter?

[fish] [lol]

--------------------
They just don't make crazed, beserk robots like they used to. --Sheen Estevez, Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius

If I manage to post something swipe-worthy that you would like to make your sig, you may do so with my blessing.

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VeebleFetzer
We Three Blings


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 -

"I can make it this long!"

--------------------
I'd rather be with you people than the finest people in the world!

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Purple Iguana
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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[lol] And look at the old guys, clinging to him at hip level!

--------------------
They just don't make crazed, beserk robots like they used to. --Sheen Estevez, Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius

If I manage to post something swipe-worthy that you would like to make your sig, you may do so with my blessing.

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DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Holy freaking cow! [Eek!]


And Troberg owes me some oxygen and a hanky.

--------------------
Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!!

Posts: 4771 | From: The Berkeley of the East Coast: Montgomery County MD | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
guruwan2b
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Maybe the judge here in OK can get his sentence reduced. I mean, he was just following Jesus.....

--------------------
Too much of this navel gazing and we'll disappear up our own arses.
Danvers Carew

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Pixiechic
Here We Come A-Mall Crawling


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Jesus never sends me penis enlarging emails! I guess if you buy from him he'll just put in a word for you with dear old dad?

Oh and VeebleFetzer YOMANK!

--------------------
Pixiechic's MySpace page
Our Homepage

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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Troberg:
Well, at least he has experience in rising again.

But how good can these pills be? I mean, in 2,000 years, Jesus has come only once.

--------------------
People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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Ink Rose
Deck the Malls


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Quit it Canuckistan! That was one painful pun! I'm still giggling.

--------------------
Website: http://stu.aii.edu/~krm184
Comic: http://elfhome.keenspace.com

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DemonWolf
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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I'm picturing Jesus in one of those "Smiling Bob" ads by Enzyte.

--------------------
Friends are like skittles: they come in many colors, and some are fruity!

IMJW-052804

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Mad Jay
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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*snicker* Jesus wants you to get a woody.

What's next? Boob jobs from Santa?

--------------------
Nico Sasha
In between my father's fields;And the citadels of the rule; Lies a no-man's land which I must cross; To find my stolen jewel.

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Jinxie
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Mad Jay:
*snicker* Jesus wants you to get a woody.

What's next? Boob jobs from Santa?

I have been asking santa for boobs for YEARS now. Still waiting,

--------------------
Go Jimmie Go! This is your year!

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Jinxie
The First USA Noel


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Are there waffles in Hell?

--------------------
Go Jimmie Go! This is your year!

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guruwan2b
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Just wait until you see what the Easter Bunny has for you....

--------------------
Too much of this navel gazing and we'll disappear up our own arses.
Danvers Carew

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snapdragonfly
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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That's it. Everyone here is going straight to hell.

--------------------
"Wolves, dragons and vampires, man. Draw the nut-bars like big ol' nut-bar magnets." ~evilrabbit

(snurched because one of my nutbar family members is all about wolves and another one is all about dragons...)(with apologies to surfcitydogdad)

Posts: 2397 | From: Texarkana, TX | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
GenYus
Away in a Manager's Special


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quote:
Originally posted by Canuckistan:
I mean, in 2,000 years, Jesus has come only once.

Maybe Jesus was the "catcher" type of guy. I mean, he did get nailed three times by Roman soldiers.

--------------------
IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan

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guruwan2b
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Is this where I post a picture of my pirate???

guru "not only customer" wan2b

--------------------
Too much of this navel gazing and we'll disappear up our own arses.
Danvers Carew

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bufungla
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by guruwan2b:
Just wait until you see what the Easter Bunny has for you....

:raises hand: Can I have the Energizer bunny instead, with the batteries put in backward?

buf 'it keeps coming and coming and coming and ...' ungla

--------------------
"Pardon him. Theodotus: he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature."

George Bernard Shaw, Caesar and Cleopatra

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robbiev - singin' off key
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by Canuckistan:
But how good can these pills be? I mean, in 2,000 years, Jesus has come only once.

Yes, but, you fail to realize, when he comes again, 144,000 people are going to come with him. [Eek!]

--------------------
Every time I see a good looking woman, I think, "0oooh. There's another one I'll never have!"

Corvette. The louder you scream, the faster I'll go.

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Oceanic Aura
The First USA Noel


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Everyone in this thread is going to Hell, and I expect many new keyboards on your way there. [lol]

--------------------
"Are we talking misdemeanor trouble or squeal like a pig trouble?"

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Raine
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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Who knew growing up getting quarters from the Tooth Fairy would lead to this? Maybe it's pronounced Hey Suess? Yeah yeah. Now I can feel better about my soul!

--------------------
"Do unto others before they do unto you!"-Ernie from Sesame Street

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Major D. Saster
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by robbiev - singin' off key:
quote:
Originally posted by Canuckistan:
But how good can these pills be? I mean, in 2,000 years, Jesus has come only once.

Yes, but, you fail to realize, when he comes again, 144,000 people are going to come with him. [Eek!]
... I knew the Rapture would be a Climax in human history but I didn't think it would go only to the 7th Sky.

--------------------
Desperate, but not serious.

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Troberg
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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quote:
But how good can these pills be? I mean, in 2,000 years, Jesus has come only once.
Yep, but he sure got nailed real good that time...

--------------------
/Troberg

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Tequila Mockingbird
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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Being brought up in a strict Catholic environment, it feels bad laughing so hard at Jesus.

I guess it's a good job I left school a long time ago otherwise I could have been in a lot of trouble...

Troberg - YOMANK!

--------------------
I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face."
I said, "You'll be sorry."
He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?"
I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well"

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Ink Rose
Deck the Malls


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My... *giggle* head is about to explode from all the puns. >_<

--------------------
Website: http://stu.aii.edu/~krm184
Comic: http://elfhome.keenspace.com

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glisp42
I'm Dreaming Of A White iPod


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quote:
Originally posted by GenYus:
quote:
Originally posted by Canuckistan:
I mean, in 2,000 years, Jesus has come only once.

Maybe Jesus was the "catcher" type of guy. I mean, he did get nailed three times by Roman soldiers.
Does that make Judas the original Pimp?

--------------------
What does "Bookachow", "YOMANK" and other lingo mean?

And we'll collect the moments one by one I guess that's how the future's done. -Feist

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Ink Rose
Deck the Malls


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WHAT THE NFBSKing CRAP IS THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE?!? Look what you've DONE! We're all gonna end up in hell 'cause we're all laughing so hard and now you've wrecked a perfectly good keyboard. >_>
*cries* And now my ribs hurt and I can't stop... hehe... laughing

--------------------
Website: http://stu.aii.edu/~krm184
Comic: http://elfhome.keenspace.com

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