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Author Topic: What Whites/Hispanics/Blacks won't admit
Squishy0405
Wii Wiish You A Merry Chriistmas


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*This is supposed to be more of a joke but some of it I was like um... everyone has done that, and my son's middle name is Jesus [Mad] *


10 Truths Black and Hispanic people know but white people won't admit

1. Elvis is dead.
2. Jesus was not white.
3. Rap music is here to stay.
4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean.
5. Skinny does not equal sexy.
6. Thomas Jefferson had black children.
7. A 5 year old is too big for a stroller.
8. N'SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5.
9. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line.
10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.


10 Truths White and Black People know but Hispanic people won't admit

1. Hickeys are not attractive.
2. Chicken is food not a pet or a roommate.
3. Jesus is not a name for your son.
4. Your country flag is not a car decoration.
5. Maria is a name but not for every daughter.
6. 10 people to a car are considered too many.
7. "Jump out and run" is not in any insurance policies.
8. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion
statement.
9. Mami & Papi can't possibly be the nickname of every person in your family.
10. Letting your children run wildly through the store is not normal.


10 Truths White and Hispanic people know but black people won't admit

1. O.J. did it.
2. Tupac is dead.
3. Teeth shouldn't be decorated.
4. Weddings should start on time.
5. Your pastor doesn't know everything.
6. Jesse Jackson will never be President.
7. Red is not a Kool Aid flavor, it's a color.
8. Church does not require expensive clothes.
9. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away.
10. Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car

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"Fate is like a strange, unpopular resturant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never ask for and don't always like."-Lemony Snicket

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Troberg
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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Well, at least it remains neutral by kicking everybody in the groin...

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/Troberg

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DemonWolf
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Squishy0405:
*This is supposed to be more of a joke but some of it I was like um... everyone has done that, and my son's middle name is Jesus [Mad] *


10 Truths Black and Hispanic people know but white people won't admit

1. Elvis is dead.
2. Jesus was not white.

Considering that Christ was Jewish and that modern Jews are white, we cannot know Jesus' race.
quote:


3. Rap music is here to stay.
4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean.
5. Skinny does not equal sexy.

Since it is an opinion, yes it does- to some people.
quote:

6. Thomas Jefferson had black children.
7. A 5 year old is too big for a stroller.
8. N'SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5.
9. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line.
10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.

for 7,8,9,&10- I know several white people who will agree with that.
quote:

10 Truths White and Black People know but Hispanic people won't admit

1. Hickeys are not attractive.

This is an age thing, not a racial thing. Lot's of my white friends in high school needed to learn this lesson.
quote:

2. Chicken is food not a pet or a roommate.

Not sure I understand this one.
quote:

3. Jesus is not a name for your son.
4. Your country flag is not a car decoration.

Not limited to Hispanics.
quote:

5. Maria is a name but not for every daughter.
6. 10 people to a car are considered too many.
7. "Jump out and run" is not in any insurance policies.

6 & 7- Racial stereotypes anyone?
quote:

8. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion
statement.
9. Mami & Papi can't possibly be the nickname of every person in your family.

see 6 & 7.
quote:


10. Letting your children run wildly through the store is not normal.

Not limited to hispanics.
quote:



10 Truths White and Hispanic people know but black people won't admit

1. O.J. did it.
2. Tupac is dead.
3. Teeth shouldn't be decorated.
4. Weddings should start on time.

I don't think I've ever attended a wedding that started on time.
quote:

5. Your pastor doesn't know everything.

Hardly limited to Blacks.
quote:


6. Jesse Jackson will never be President.
7. Red is not a Kool Aid flavor, it's a color.

not limited to Blacks.
quote:


8. Church does not require expensive clothes.
9. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away.
10. Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car

Hardly limited to Blacks.


Not funny and way too many sweeping generalizations to even approach true.

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Friends are like skittles: they come in many colors, and some are fruity!

IMJW-052804

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Methuselah
Happy Holly Days


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Bah, this barely registers on the ol' chuckle-meter. A few really stuck out, though.
quote:
10 Truths White and Black People know but Hispanic people won't admit

4. Your country flag is not a car decoration.

Yeah, you'll never see some white dude driving around in a Ford pickup with a tattered American flag strapped to the antennae, and American flag stickers and magnets all over the bumper and rear gate. [Roll Eyes]

quote:
10 Truths White and Hispanic people know but black people won't admit

8. Church does not require expensive clothes.

Um, yeah...I don't think we should encourage more people to go to church (or anywhere else in public) dressed in cutoff jeans and flip-flops.

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"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." - G.K. Chesterton

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put it in writing
Xboxing Day


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quote:
7. Red is not a Kool Aid flavor, it's a color.

Okay, now they're just talking crazy talk. I'm so white I'm pale blue, and even I know that red is sure as heck a kool ade flavor.

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and it's 1 - 2 - 3, what are we fighting for? don't ask me, I don't give a damn

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Squoval
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by DemonWolf:
Considering that Christ was Jewish and that modern Jews are white, we cannot know Jesus' race.

I don't understand what that means, but I'd like to point out that not every Jew is white. There are even Arab and Persian Jews, like President of Israel Moshe Katsav, a Persian Jew.
ETA: Woah, I spanked 4k in the same minute!

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I can't believe it's not Square!

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Four Kitties
Layaway in a Manger


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quote:
Originally posted by DemonWolf:
Considering that Christ was Jewish and that modern Jews are white, we cannot know Jesus' race.

We may not know Jesus' race, but I dispute that modern Jews are white. Linky! More linky! Still more linky!

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If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

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forceflow15
I Saw Three Shipments


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someone needs to do the research. DNA testing proved that Thomas Jefferson did not have black children. Instead it was most likely his younger brother (name escapes me) who was wellknown to hang out in the slave quarters. Hate to break a cherished myth of American history.

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Forceflow

"There was Joye in the courtroom, but he slipped on a-peel." = Prof. Kutner

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TimK
I Saw Three Shipments


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quote:
Originally posted by Squishy0405:
8. Church does not require expensive clothes.

One reason black people like to wear expensive clothes to church is that, historically, because of the occupations they were limited to (by white people, remember) and their limited social opportunities, church was the only time during the week that they had a chance to dress up and show off nice clothes.

It seems more than a little mean-spirited to make fun of them for that.

Best,
Tim

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lynnejanet
Happy Holly Days


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Do you have a cite for that, forceflow?

The articles that I found indicated that there was no conclusive proof one way or the other. DNA tests have shown that the descendents of Sally Hemings were fathered by a male member of the Jefferson family, but there is no way to know which male member. However, there seems to be a very strong oral tradition that Jefferson was the father of 6 of her children, and there is no evidence to the contary.

I was fascinated to discover that Sally Hemings was likely the half-sister of Jefferson's wife.

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lynne"insert appropriate punny phrase here"janet

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Four Kitties
Layaway in a Manger


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quote:
Originally posted by forceflow15:
someone needs to do the research. DNA testing proved that Thomas Jefferson did not have black children. Instead it was most likely his younger brother (name escapes me) who was wellknown to hang out in the slave quarters. Hate to break a cherished myth of American history.

Nope, the DNA testing proved no such thing. Link
quote:
That a Jefferson-Hemings relationship could be neither refuted nor substantiated was challenged in 1998 by the results of DNA tests conducted by Dr. Eugene Foster and a team of geneticists. The study - which tested Y-chromosomal DNA samples from male-line descendants of Field Jefferson (Thomas Jefferson's uncle), John Carr (grandfather of Jefferson's Carr nephews), Eston Hemings, and Thomas C. Woodson - indicated a genetic link between the Jefferson and Hemings descendants. The results of the study established that an individual carrying the male Jefferson Y chromosome fathered Eston Hemings (born 1808), the last known child born to Sally Hemings. There were approximately 25 adult male Jeffersons who carried this chromosome living in Virginia at that time, and a few of them are known to have visited Monticello. The study's authors, however, said "the simplest and most probable" conclusion was that Thomas Jefferson had fathered Eston Hemings.
But that's only the Thomas Jefferson Foundation, the folks who run Monticello, so what do they know. [Roll Eyes]

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If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

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Aptenodytes_Forsteriis
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Four Kitties:
quote:
Originally posted by DemonWolf:
Considering that Christ was Jewish and that modern Jews are white, we cannot know Jesus' race.

We may not know Jesus' race, but I dispute that modern Jews are white. Linky! More linky!
'Jewish' isn't a race it's a religion and group of cultures. Ashkenazi Jews (80% of world Jewish population) are mostly descended from Northern and Eastern European Caucasian peoples, and are often very fair. It has been questioned whether they are actually descended from the tribes of Israel, because a land called Khazaria in the Caucasus converted to Judaism in the late Byzantine era and many Ashkenazim may be descended from these people. This is a sensitive area, because anti-semitic groups have adopted this claim, but some Jews, both Ashkenazi and Sephardic, believe it, and while it is doubtful that any Jewish person alive today is 'purely' descended from the Khazars, many Ashkenazim do probably have Khazar ancestors.

Sephardic Jews are mostly descended from Spanish and North African peoples, both of which are Caucasian, but darker skinned. Persian Jews are also darker skinned and also Caucasian. The Ethiopean Jews are darker skinned yet. Yemenite Jews trace their history in the south of the Arabian Penninsula back to Solomon's reign and are physically indsitinguishable from other Yemenis. I could go on but I think I have made the point.

Joseph's coat isn't the only many colored thing in Judaism.

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'Hello, assorted humanoid strangers. You are standing casually in our forest. This bewilders us.' Blatherskite

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Kuzibah
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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And the Asians slip by unscathed!

Should they be relieved or insulted?

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Aptenodytes_Forsteriis
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Kuzibah:
And the Asians slip by unscathed!

Should they be relieved or insulted?

And what about the various aboriginal peoples? I think a cabal of Chinese, Inuit, Siouxan, Australian Aboriginal, Bushmen, and the Aboriginal People of Northern Japan, got together and wrotes these lists to distract the rest of us while they pursue their evil plot to conquer the rest of us! We must flee the Red, Black, Brown, Yellow, White, and Greyish Pale Peril. They are coming to kill the honest FSM fearing... Uh, oh I used all the colors for the bad guys.

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'Hello, assorted humanoid strangers. You are standing casually in our forest. This bewilders us.' Blatherskite

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FullMetal
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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Crown Royal bags need to be thrown away?

millions of geeks cry out in horror as they learn they must give up their prized dice bags!

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Ophiuchus
Deck the Malls


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I must not be a very typical member of my race for I'd label many of the things on the white list as things I know are wrong and meanwhile I see things on the other two lists that I don't see a problem with.

My mother had pet chickens when she lived in South San Fransico. I see no problem with Chickens as pets... nor other somewhat unusual choices such as pigs, ferrets, wallabys, parrots, penguins, striped hyenas, foxes, bobcats, prarie dogs, fruit bats, turtles (or tortoises), hamsters or... well, any other number of animals that are between 1/4th-100 pounds and won't likely eat you or your neighbors.

Now, those people who think giant or venomous snakes make good pets... those guys freak me out.

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TwoGuyswithaHat
Happy Holly Days


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Aside from gift sets, does Crown Royal still come in the bags? I know it hasn't in Canada for quite some time.

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In politics, absurdity is not a handicap - Napoleon Bonaparte

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TB Tabby
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Bleah. I'm fed up with attempts to pass racial stereotyping off as humor. It's not shocking anymore, and it was never funny to begin with. It's just tacky.

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I like to go down to the playground and watch the kids run and jump and scream, because they don't know I'm only using blanks.

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DemonWolf
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Bill D:
quote:
Originally posted by DemonWolf:
Considering that Christ was Jewish and that modern Jews are white, we cannot know Jesus' race.

I don't understand what that means, but I'd like to point out that not every Jew is white. There are even Arab and Persian Jews, like President of Israel Moshe Katsav, a Persian Jew.
ETA: Woah, I spanked 4k in the same minute!

quote:
Originally posted by Four Kitties:
quote:
Originally posted by DemonWolf:
Considering that Christ was Jewish and that modern Jews are white, we cannot know Jesus' race.

We may not know Jesus' race, but I dispute that modern Jews are white. Linky! More linky! Still more linky!
Fascinating. I never knew of Jews that originated anywhere but europe.

Thanks for the links!

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Friends are like skittles: they come in many colors, and some are fruity!

IMJW-052804

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Ed Hopkins
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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quote:
Originally posted by DemonWolf:
Considering that Christ was Jewish and that modern Jews are white, we cannot know Jesus' race.

This picture shows what men in Christ's day probably looked like. The OP was probably refering to was the blond and blue-eyed Jesus of many paintings.

This is not a white thing - all people paint Christ in their own image.

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ThistleSoftware
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
Originally posted by DemonWolf:
Considering that Christ was Jewish and that modern Jews are white, we cannot know Jesus' race.

-snip-

Fascinating. I never knew of Jews that originated anywhere but europe.

Thanks for the links!

Does that mean you thought Jesus was from Europe?

--------------------
Officially Heartless

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ThistleSoftware
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
Originally posted by Squishy0405:


9. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line.

It also raises children to think that violence solves problems. Great, just what African and Hispanic American communities need, more violence.

quote:


3. Jesus is not a name for your son.
4. Your country flag is not a car decoration.
8. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion
statement.
9. Mami & Papi can't possibly be the nickname of every person in your family.

Assimilate! Resistance is futile!

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Officially Heartless

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Lgreywolf
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by DemonWolf:
Fascinating. I never knew of Jews that originated anywhere but europe.

Thanks for the links! [/QB]

Hee. Kind of reminds me of the joke about the Rabbi who learns of a village in China where the whole population is Jewish. He makes a long journey and when he finally arrives he explains his quest to the villagers and introduces himself as a Rabbi. Then one of the (Chinese) villagers turns to his friend and says "That's funny, he doesn't look Jewish." [Big Grin]

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"Most Jewish holidays can be summed up very simply: They tried to kill us. We won. Let's eat." - my in-laws' Rabbi.

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Turbo Snail
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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quote:
Originally posted by put it in writing:
quote:
7. Red is not a Kool Aid flavor, it's a color.

Okay, now they're just talking crazy talk. I'm so white I'm pale blue, and even I know that red is sure as heck a kool ade flavor.
It's also the best damn popsicle in the box!

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Has anyone seen my other shoe?

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moonlight
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
Originally posted by Squishy0405:
4. Weddings should start on time.

I don't get this at all. Is this some stereotype I've never heard of?

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I'm back to lurking.

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Lgreywolf:
quote:
Originally posted by DemonWolf:
Fascinating. I never knew of Jews that originated anywhere but europe.

Thanks for the links!

Hee. Kind of reminds me of the joke about the Rabbi who learns of a village in China where the whole population is Jewish. He makes a long journey and when he finally arrives he explains his quest to the villagers and introduces himself as a Rabbi. Then one of the (Chinese) villagers turns to his friend and says "That's funny, he doesn't look Jewish." [Big Grin] [/QB]
Lgreywolf, I thought of that joke, too, but I've heard a different version, involving a Jewish traveler in Tokyo who's mistaken for a Gentile visitor at a synagogue where the congregation is uniformly Japanese. Same punch line, of course. [Smile]

ETA: this guy is Jewish. So is this guy.

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How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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James D
Deck the Malls


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Let's see...

quote:

9. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line.
10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.

Child abuse teaches a child to hit rather than talk.
and the author has probably never had teenagers.

quote:

2. Chicken is food not a pet or a roommate.
3. Jesus is not a name for your son.
4. Your country flag is not a car decoration.
5. Maria is a name but not for every daughter.
6. 10 people to a car are considered too many.
7. "Jump out and run" is not in any insurance policies.
8. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion
statement.
9. Mami & Papi can't possibly be the nickname of every person in your family.
10. Letting your children run wildly through the store is not normal.

2. Though I live in an area with a large hispanic population, I've never heard of anyone keeping a chicken as a pet. For whatever reason, I would (probably wrongly) associate such behavior with the rural southeast.
3. What about Matthew, Mark, Luke, or Paul? Are they 'unacceptable' too?
4. Can someone tell this to all the people who are putting American flags in their car windows until they either rip to tatters or fall out and become roadkill.
5. Nor is Mary or Ashley. But some names tend to be very popular at times. The only person I know of who named all their kids the same though is George Foreman.
6,7 - dimwitted stereotypes.
8. Actually, it's a form of gang identification.
9. Nope - just ma and pa.
10. Nor is it limited to any one race.

quote:

5. Your pastor doesn't know everything.
6. Jesse Jackson will never be President.

5. Please, someone let all the lilly white southern evangelicals know this too...
6. Nor will pat robertson (thank God.)

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The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
Arthur C. Clarke (1917 - )

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by James D:
Let's see...

quote:

9. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line.
10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.

Child abuse teaches a child to hit rather than talk.
and the author has probably never had teenagers.

I agree with your first point, but it is possible to be a teenager and not curse your parents out in public. I never did. Never cursed them out in private, either.

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How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Editing waffles.

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How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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Norton II
Deck the Malls


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To get back to the OP, my major objection to it is that I like humor to be funny.

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Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico

Posts: 287 | From: Mystic, CT | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
ladyknight
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Squishy0405:

7. "Jump out and run" is not in any insurance policies.

I don't get this. What are they even referring to? [Confused]

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Triumphs cannot be given. They must be taken, and the worse the odds, and the fiercer the resistance, the greater the honor. -- A Civil Campaign, Lois McMaster Bujold

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MissEltoe
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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I don't think the "butt whooping" one is saying violence or child abuse is OK (and I definitely don't think it is limited to any race either).

I think it is trying to point out that sometimes a smack on the bottom for a kid works better than a "talking-to".

I don't know, it worked in my house. I didn't wanna get butt-whooping, much less yelled at by my mom when I was a kid. ::shrugs shoulders::

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Licorice of the Lord! This is classy stuff...Should I be wearing a tie? Or, at least, pants?
~I'mNotDedalus

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diddy
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by MissE:
I don't think the "butt whooping" one is saying violence or child abuse is OK (and I definitely don't think it is limited to any race either).

I think it is trying to point out that sometimes a smack on the bottom for a kid works better than a "talking-to".

I don't know, it worked in my house. I didn't wanna get butt-whooping, much less yelled at by my mom when I was a kid. ::shrugs shoulders::

I have an issue with that. Did you not do bad things becasue they were wrong or was it becasue you woud be "smacked on the bottom" for it?

Punishment is supposed to teach you that you should do things because their are negitive consequences. Its not supposed to institute fear, Its supposed to ingrain understanding.

But lets not let this thread degrade into anpther spanking debate.

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W.W.F.S.M.D?
But this image of Bush as some sort of Snidely Whiplash tying the fair maiden to the railroad tracks is beyond the pale. - Joe Bentley

Posts: 2311 | From: Minnnesota | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
moonlight
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
Originally posted by ladyknight:
quote:
Originally posted by Squishy0405:

7. "Jump out and run" is not in any insurance policies.

I don't get this. What are they even referring to? [Confused]
I'm taking this as referring to fleeing the scene of an accident on foot...

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MissEltoe
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by diddy:
quote:
Originally posted by MissE:
I don't think the "butt whooping" one is saying violence or child abuse is OK (and I definitely don't think it is limited to any race either).

I think it is trying to point out that sometimes a smack on the bottom for a kid works better than a "talking-to".

I don't know, it worked in my house. I didn't wanna get butt-whooping, much less yelled at by my mom when I was a kid. ::shrugs shoulders::

I have an issue with that. Did you not do bad things becasue they were wrong or was it becasue you woud be "smacked on the bottom" for it?

Punishment is supposed to teach you that you should do things because their are negitive consequences. Its not supposed to institute fear, Its supposed to ingrain understanding.

But lets not let this thread degrade into anpther spanking debate.

Both. I didn't do things that I knew I would get in trouble for because they were wrong.

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Licorice of the Lord! This is classy stuff...Should I be wearing a tie? Or, at least, pants?
~I'mNotDedalus

Posts: 975 | From: New Jersey | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
   

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