Rhiandmoi
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
posted
In my inbox this morning:
all nonesense of course, but still kinda funny....
Women think they already know everything, but wait; training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:- 1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits 3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits 4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait until After The Game 5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too. 6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First 8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking 9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging 10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up 12. Introduction to Parking 13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space 14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat 15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter 16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption 17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People 18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully 19. PMS: Your Problem . .. . Not His 20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To
21. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have 22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice 23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together 24. Oil and Petrol: Your Car Needs Both 25. TV Remotes: For Men Only
26. Getting ready to go out: Start the day before.
Please register immediately as courses are expected to be in great demand
-------------------- I think that hyperbole is the single greatest factor contributing to the decline of society. - My friend Pat.
quote:Originally posted by Rhiandmoi: 23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together
... and ending up with all the clothes featuring a charming delicate shade of pink.
Well, if you think you're popular enough to be different... But don't come whining when people think you're a freethinking anarchist! (10 pts.)
Posts: 1201 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
When was this charming bit of humour written? 1950?
-------------------- "You see? The mysteries of the Universe are revealed when you break stuff." Coop from MegasXLR
"I distrust who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." -- Susan B. Anthony Posts: 2246 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
It is really 1950's isn't it - and simply not funny unless you have a 1950's "women are dumb shop-a-holics" mentality. Archie Bunker or Ted Bullpit or (insert british misanthrope here) would be amused by that lot.
Sad really.
Dropbear
-------------------- " The villagers had said justice had been done, and she'd lost patience and told them to go home, then, and pray to whatever gods they believed in that it was never done to them. -- (Terry Pratchett) Posts: 823 | From: Hobart, Tasmania | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
Oh yeah I can relate to all of this--NOT!! And I can back my car in, and probably better than s/he can.
-------------------- Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!! Posts: 4771 | From: The Berkeley of the East Coast: Montgomery County MD | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Men don't like to dance? I guess I'll tell my husband to stop enjoying the Swing/Salsa lessons then.
And he likes tofu. I hate it.
-------------------- "He feeds the sparrows of the field, but He doesn't sit there and cram worms into their mouths." -- Mouse Posts: 396 | From: Pasadena, CA | Registered: Jan 2006
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quote: Originally posted by Rhiandmoi: 23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together
... and ending up with all the clothes featuring a charming delicate shade of pink.
Only if you insist on washing things at stupidly high temperatues.
Such as "cold"?
It happened. Batch of light colors. Cold water. One red sock.
-------------------- “Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.” -- Edward R. Murrow
quote:Originally posted by Rhiandmoi: 10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
Womens' insurance rates are lower than mens' rates for a reason. I wonder if the writer of this piece knows what that reason is.
Possibly because the accidents women have generally happen at lower speeds than those of men, so cost less per accident to repair than mens accidents. Women also tend to drive smaller capacity vehicles than men, so the insurance for a 1.1 litre car will be cheaper than that for a 3 litre coupé. Possibly!
-------------------- Many a True Word Spoken in Jest! Posts: 73 | From: Devon, UK | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
This reminds me of a "Classes for Men" email I was gifted with a while back. Basically just as insulting to men with classes like "Putting the Toilet Seat Down". It's probably a good bet that one was released as a reply to the other.
Posts: 296 | From: Crawfordville, Florida | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
Putting the toilet seat DOWN? ....Man, I wish I could just get mine to put the darn thing UP!
...*sigh...
Oh..I'm sorry....was there a discussion going on here?
Continue.
-------------------- "I find them to be in contradiction of the basic principles of YOUR MOM!!!" -We've Got Mail Posts: 1361 | From: Muncie, IN | Registered: Sep 2005
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quote:... and ending up with all the clothes featuring a charming delicate shade of pink.
That's just another effect of female thinking. If you don't have clothes in different colours, that will not happen (unless that colour is pink).
I stick to black and dark grey (yep, even when walking in the desert in the middle of the summer, wearing a leather jacket), and have yet to get any pink clothes due to mixing them in the laundry. Simple, and now that Johnny Cash is dead I can claim to be the real man in black.
-------------------- /Troberg Posts: 4360 | From: Borlänge, Sweden | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Just_this_guy_you_know?: Women also tend to drive smaller capacity vehicles than men, so the insurance for a 1.1 litre car will be cheaper than that for a 3 litre coupé. Possibly!
That's definately not true in Colorado. Men want their wives to be safe on the highway, so they buy them the largest SUV they can find (Expeditions, Escalades and Denalis seem popular). In such a case, the woman is often a bad driver because she's not used to parking such a monster, or keeping it centered in the lane.
In general, the course list does seem to be a little outdated. And, I think it could be funnier if the some of the course names were shorter and more subtle, like:
4. Male Time Management: Sports Before Minor Chores 7. Communication I: Alternatives to Crying 9. Communication III: Alternatives to Nagging 19. Psych I: PMS Without Peripheral Damage
-------------------- There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who do not.
"Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" - The Brain Posts: 587 | From: Colorado | Registered: Jul 2000
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quote:Originally posted by Grand Illusion: [QUOTE]That's definately not true in Colorado. Men want their wives to be safe on the highway, so they buy them the largest SUV they can find (Expeditions, Escalades and Denalis seem popular). In such a case, the woman is often a bad driver because she's not used to parking such a monster, or keeping it centered in the lane.
You do realize that some women buy their own cars, right?
And for the record, living in colorado, I've noticed that many of the urban/suburban dwellers of both sexes don't know how to drive those things, much less park them.
People, if ya live in denver, chances are, you don't really need an suv, especially not in the downtown neighborhoods where there's parking on both sides of the two way street, and your SUV tends to push us off onto the lawns.
Clothes: I wash everything in one load. Cold water. Throw it in the dryer on high for 80 min. If a piece of clothing doesn't survive, well, then I didn't need that piece of clothing. And since I refuse to spend more than $10 on a single piece of clothing, it usually works out fine.
-------------------- So many spankings! It feels so good! But at the same time, I don't care about meeting your family! - I'mNotDedalus: Posts: 3216 | From: Denver, CO | Registered: Dec 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Ryda Wong: People, if ya live in denver, chances are, you don't really need an suv, especially not in the downtown neighborhoods where there's parking on both sides of the two way street, and your SUV tends to push us off onto the lawns.
And if you do drive an SUV in Denver, please look out for pedestrians when you're turning! I almost got mowed down by one just last week on Evans Avenue. I had the right of way, and the damn thing didn't even slow down on a left turn! I literally had to jump out of the way. And the (female) driver's response? Well, she was kind enough to yell, "Sorry, didn't see you!" as she careened by.
I'm not picking on women drivers, though. Failing to look for cyclists and pedestrians seems to be endemic to Denver drivers of both sexes. They look both ways for cross traffic, but usually don't look straight ahead to see if there's anyone actually crossing the street before they hit the gas.
-------------------- Another lifetime I'd have fallen in love with you Swept away by my feelings, ashamed and confused But just now it's enough to be walking with you Let the mystery play as it will! -Lui Collins Posts: 2669 | From: Jouy en Josas, France | Registered: May 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Ramblin' Dave. Dry. Crisp. Witty.: Failing to look for cyclists and pedestrians seems to be endemic to Denver drivers of both sexes. They look both ways for cross traffic, but usually don't look straight ahead to see if there's anyone actually crossing the street before they hit the gas. [/QB]
I normally get off of 1-25 at the Park Ave. Exit and take that to 14th Street. At the intersection of Park and Colfax, I can't tell you how many times I've seen people almost get creamed.
-------------------- So many spankings! It feels so good! But at the same time, I don't care about meeting your family! - I'mNotDedalus: Posts: 3216 | From: Denver, CO | Registered: Dec 2005
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quote:Originally posted by black roses 19: Putting the toilet seat DOWN? ....Man, I wish I could just get mine to put the darn thing UP!
Another hubby who doesn't lift the lid, thus sprinkling the seat? And I'm guessing he does not clean it up? There is nothing I hate more than waking up in the middle of the night to pee and sitting in sprinkles! blech
-Star"quid pro quo"la
-------------------- This used to be the life, but I don't need another one. MyBandwagon Posts: 3254 | From: small town Texas | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
I don't mind if the seat's up or down, just as long as he flushes.
-------------------- "There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen Won't somebody please think of the adults! Posts: 8254 | From: Florida | Registered: Oct 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Cervus: I don't mind if the seat's up or down, just as long as he flushes.
Up or down, I don't care as long as no one, of either gender leaves pee sprinkled on the seat. That's just gross. And rude.
ETA: In bachelor's homes I have been known to raise the seat again after I'm done. I figure you should leave it the way the host prefers it.
-------------------- This used to be the life, but I don't need another one. MyBandwagon Posts: 3254 | From: small town Texas | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
I think it's funny in a cheeky kind of way.
I wash all my laundry together. At $1.50 a load I can't afford not to.
-------------------- Climb up, over the the top Shake it, take control You've got to find out for yourself whether or not you're truly trying --Jason Mraz Posts: 1686 | From: British Columbia | Registered: Jul 2003
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quote:I wash all my laundry together. At $1.50 a load I can't afford not to.
Yep, me too. My white clothes are definitely a little off-color, but otherwise you can't tell the difference. I hand-wash anything that bleeds.
Posts: 1251 | From: Michigan | Registered: Sep 2004
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Btw, I wash everything together, too (one load is 75 cents, after all), but I don't have anything that bleeds.
Posts: 1201 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
While I agree that some of those could be phrased better and some are just not funny at all, I think this list is meant to play with stereotypes, and not to support them. But I may be mistaken.
-------------------- Movie characters never make typing mistakes. Posts: 586 | From: Hamburg, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005
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I think something like this would actually be quite useful, for lots of folks. Not hanging up itself, but getting off the phone gracefully. I often have trouble getting off the phone when I have something else to do but the other person just wants to chat, and I know this applies to my mother as well.
(Now, usually I have these problems with my mother and my GF on the other end. Draw your own conclusions...)
Posts: 1048 | From: Brunswick, Maine | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
What a mysoginistic load of drivel. I don't mind people lampooning the stereotype of women as health-obsessed over-communicators with a fetish for shoes; it's not derogatory, and it has some basis in reality. But implying that women need to learn to shut up, or that they can't drive for shit, or that they are parasites dependent upon their husbands/boyfriends' bank accounts, or that they are thoughtless emotional manipulators--I'm sorry, that's sexist and wrong. And yes, I've seen the male version and feel the same way about many of the entries it listed.
-------------------- "If God wrote it, the grammar must be infallible. Perhaps it is we who are mistaken." -MapleLeaf Posts: 977 | From: Boston, MA | Registered: Oct 2005
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I think its quite funny actually, and when I emailed it to my Sister a few minutes ago, she thought it was brilliant. It's now winging its way around her office, and my Sister is not the type to take any crap.
Its not meant to be a serious list folks. Its supposed to be a joke, where reality is suspended, and the outragous stereotypes are lampooned.
I remember seeing the mens version once, and it was pretty funny too.
-------------------- There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane? Posts: 735 | From: Manchester, UK | Registered: Nov 2004
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posted
Maybe it would be funnier to me if my friends and I were more like the stereotypes the author apparently subscribes to. There's a lot of "girl" stuff I just don't get.
I don't mind lists like this, but it annoys me sometimes IRL when people make silly assumptions about me because I'm female. I do separate my laundry, but I don't, for example, have towels in my bathroom that aren't intended for use. And I don't dust.
As for toilet seats, this is my position, now and forever: Men, on occasion, must use the seat down. Women, however, never use the seat up. Therefore, down is the default position.
-------------------- How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black Posts: 8322 | From: Columbus, OH | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Originally posted by black roses 19: Putting the toilet seat DOWN? ....Man, I wish I could just get mine to put the darn thing UP!
Another hubby who doesn't lift the lid, thus sprinkling the seat? And I'm guessing he does not clean it up? There is nothing I hate more than waking up in the middle of the night to pee and sitting in sprinkles! blech
-Star"quid pro quo"la
Next time that happens go back to bed and *accidently* rub them against him. Then when he asks you why your feet are wet innocently state that the bathroom floor was wet for some reason around the toilet.
-------------------- The Sqizzle formally known as Lexi Posts: 3231 | From: Nottingham, UK | Registered: Feb 2003
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quote:Originally posted by black roses 19: Putting the toilet seat DOWN? ....Man, I wish I could just get mine to put the darn thing UP!
Another hubby who doesn't lift the lid, thus sprinkling the seat? And I'm guessing he does not clean it up? There is nothing I hate more than waking up in the middle of the night to pee and sitting in sprinkles! blech
-Star"quid pro quo"la
Next time that happens go back to bed and *accidently* rub them against him. Then when he asks you why your feet are wet innocently state that the bathroom floor was wet for some reason around the toilet.
Damn! If she's getting that pee off the seat on her feet, I think we've got a bigger bathroom issue than we realized.
However, I do see what you mean, and I propose that she up the ante. After cleaning the pee off your rear, sprinkle your bottom with cold, clean water. Get back in bed, and snuggle up spoon wise. Don't admit to having washed, rather let him think the worst. Drastic times call for drastic measures.
The laundry thing isn't as true today as it was in years past. Dyes are more colorfast, and fabrics get clean in cooler temperatures. I have o skirt that's made of older, less colorfast material. It's red. I don't care how cold the water, any stray sock that gets washed with this skirt will turn pink. I save it up to wash with my red clothes. I wear a lot of red, so it's not that hard.
These days, I sort my clothes by Things I Sweat In and Things I Don't Wear to Get Sweaty in. Sweats, t-shirts, socks, underwear, and sheets all get washed in warm. Clothes I wear to work or out with my friends get washed in cold. White gym towels, the socks I find under the couch where the cats hid them, cleaning rags, and dish sponges get the how-hot-can-I-get-this treatment.
One of the funniest things I ever saw was a young couple at the laundramat a couple of years ago. He dumped all of his clothes into the washer (well, first he dumped them all in the dryer thinking it was a washer, but that's another story). His girlfriend told him he had to sort by light and dark. He was doing so well: Jeans: dark, t-shirt, light; socks, light; black t-shirt: dark, etc. Then he picked up a black and white t-shirt and the look on his face of "Oh, hell, what now?" was so funny I snorted outloud. I couldn't help it. Then I explained to him the sweat/no-sweat theory of clothes sorting.
Posts: 4811 | From: Austin, TX | Registered: Feb 2000
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When I do my laundry I just dump it all in, in cold water and hope for the best. I don't really OWN anything that is THAT red...maybe one sweater that I barely wear anyway. I've never had any problems with doing all of my laundry together.
~Monica
-------------------- "Run for five minutes? Why don't you just shoot me now?"--Comic Book Guy (Simpsons) Posts: 219 | From: Cleveland, Ohio | Registered: Dec 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Lainie: Maybe it would be funnier to me if my friends and I were more like the stereotypes the author apparently subscribes to.
Actually, I don't think that any woman has to be like that. I know that it is a female stereotype to be very talkative, although the most talkative people I know are male. In my circle of friends I see no noticeable difference in the ability to drive in respect to the gender. So in a joke, I do not expect reality, but playing with those stereotypes (if gender does play a role in it at all). I should disclaim, though, that using stereotypes does not automatically cause humour
-------------------- Movie characters never make typing mistakes. Posts: 586 | From: Hamburg, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005
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