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Author Topic: More Signs of the Times
Aquadude
I Saw Three Shipments


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YOMANK!

-Aqua

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¡El Toro Loco!

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Lonely Mountain
Jingle All the Layaway


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This is probably a repost but I must add this one because this sign was at the Colony Theater in my home town of Easley, SC. I used to work about 50 yards from this sign. I got to see it live, in person before they took it down later that afternoon.

You may now bask in my awesomeness. Grovelling and genuflection not required but appreciated. [Cool]

 -

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"Tis too much proved that with devotion's visage and pious action we do sugar o'er the devil himself." - Hamlet

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KatrinaDuck
Jingle Bell Hock


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I wish I kept the flier from the local pizza place in town, from back in January:

SUPER BOWEL SPECIAL!
(which then, of course, proceeded to name a huge number of foods that probably would cause you to need pepto)

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It is, after all, the dab of grit that seeps into an oyster's shell that makes the pearl, not pearl-making seminars with other oysters. -Stephen King

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Muskrat Monroe
A View to a Krill


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My favorite sign ever was for a church advertising it's annual festival:

"Come to the Church of the Blessed Sacrament's annual BS Fest!"

Never seen a church come right out and admit to that before!

My first [fish]

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Someday I'll aquire wisdom, but for now, being a wise-ass will have to do.

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snopes
Return! Return! Return!


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snopes
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Wolf333
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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"Tuesday lunch special - small nachos grande $2.99"

Seen at the Nellis AFB NCO club. Oh, anf hello, all.

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"We take evil really seriously"

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Deearn
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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I was at a Taco Bell parking lot and saw their sign. It read: Buy a runchy or Soft Taco, 10 for $750. Somebody is going to get fired for that.

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If you think "Silence Of The Lambs" is what happens when Larry goes out to the barn, you might be a redneck.--- Jeff Foxworthy.

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snopes
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robbiev - singin' off key
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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In Jamaica, you can get a deluxe curse for a lot less than $329, and it's available any day.

[fish]

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Every time I see a good looking woman, I think, "0oooh. There's another one I'll never have!"

Corvette. The louder you scream, the faster I'll go.

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talk2sparky
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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I remember a burger place near us had a sign hanging outside, professsionally made, not a letterboard, that read: "Triple Cheesebuger, $2.99" And it was up for over a year. I kept wanting to go in and order a triple cheese-booger and see what they said, but I never worked up the courage. Not to say that, but to actually eat their food.

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"If the Internet teaches you anything, it's that there is NOTHING, NOWHERE, that someone isn't frantically masturbating to. " -snopes poster Brandi

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snopes
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snopes
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snopes
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Hyla Cinerea
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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I bought a frog shaped lighter the other day, and I just noticed the warning lable on the bottom of it. I haven't had a chance to scan it in, but this is what it says:

Warning keep away from children. Don't expose to fire, heat, or sunlight. Don't keep over 120F place and keep lit more than 30 seconds.

The bold emphasis was mine. Its a lighter. It makes fire. And it says to not expose it to fire?

Well, I wasn't planning on using it anyways.

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0100111001101111011100110110010101111001001011000010000001100001

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Rehcsif
We Three Blings


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quote:
Originally posted by Hyla Cinerea:
The bold emphasis was mine. Its a lighter. It makes fire. And it says to not expose it to fire?

Throwing a lighter (with pressurized butane inside) into a fire is a bad idea. Just about every lighter I've ever seen (I'm not a smoker, but use them occasionally) has had this sort of warning...

-Tim

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snopes
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franjava
Deck the Malls


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Outside a Greek Orthodox Church in Rochester, NY, a vandal changed "holy resurrection" on their letterboard sign to "holy erection." No one noticed 'til my husband called the church office and informed them. (We don't even go to that church!)

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Never eat anything given to you by a toddler.

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HollowMan
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Lonely Mountain:
This is probably a repost but I must add this one because this sign was at the Colony Theater in my home town of Easley, SC. I used to work about 50 yards from this sign. I got to see it live, in person before they took it down later that afternoon.

You may now bask in my awesomeness. Grovelling and genuflection not required but appreciated. [Cool]

My brother was managing that theater the day that sign was up. Incidently, my very first post was about a picture of that sign.

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Heisenberg may have slept here.

I got an idea... an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.

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senshisteph
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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I really should take a picture, but on my bus ride to work in Gifu there's a beauty parlour called 'ASS lab' (presumably from a bad karakana-isation of 'aesthetique') with a bar above it called 'Bottoms Up'.
They had to have done that on purpose, right?

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七転び八起き
nana korobi ya oki
'fall down seven times, get up eight.'

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SuperSlug
Pumpkin carver


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On this store I drive by sometimes,it has this sign:
"WE DO NOT SELL BEER ON SUNDAY."
Under that-
"CAMEL CIGRETTES NOW 50% OFF!"

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"Yeah,I stay on the computer a lot,more than I should.But I don't kill small animals,I don't steal,and I don't do drugs.So leave me alone."-My sister

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evilrabbit
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
Originally posted by SuperSlug:
On this store I drive by sometimes,it has this sign:
"WE DO NOT SELL BEER ON SUNDAY."
Under that-
"CAMEL CIGRETTES NOW 50% OFF!"

Well, that's probably a legal thing. In some areas, it's illegal to sell alcohol on Sundays (without special permits) but no such laws exists for cigarettes. Illogical? Perhaps. But not the store's fault.
rabbit used to work in a drugstore...

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"My sandwich choice is uncertain, until I actually order. It's like Schrodinger's Sandwich."
"Is plutonium involved in this sandwich in any way?"
"Maybe."

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Mr. Furious
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Took this picture on US 17 in Virginia, just before the I-95 junction:

 -

C'mon, have some pride in your product! I mean, how do they know I'll never buy 11 to get 11 free once I taste Popeye's flava?

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"He's not gonna let me in, I'm Mr. Dirty Mouth!"
- Jeffrey Coho (Craig Bierko), Boston Legal

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HenryChicane
I Saw Three Shipments


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 -

I just scanned this. A friend and I bought some cheap airsoft pistols and ammo on a whim at a weird little farmer's market/dirt mall type place. This warning really cracks me up, I keep picturing some little kid scarfing these down like Cookie Monster.

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http://www.myspace.com/ironhillpark

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Dropbear
Angels from the Realms so Glurgy


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quote:
In order to avoid the broken or distortion do not put pressure on the production.
If the little boy got dirty, please clean it with neuter detergent and wipe it with dry cloth.
If it's too dirty it's not easy to clean

On the back of a cheap toy car.

Dropbear

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" The villagers had said justice had been done, and she'd lost patience and told them to go home, then, and pray to whatever gods they believed in that it was never done to them. -- (Terry Pratchett)

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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Remind me never to buy neuter detergent. Neither I nor any of my male friends would ever forgive me.

And this focus on dirty little boys is disturbing.

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People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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snopes
Return! Return! Return!


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Saint Gryphon
I Saw Three Shipments


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There is this billboard on the way to work for an energy company. It says in nice large white letters "Lower your Energy Bill" and has a picture of a person smiling. Nothing unsuall you say... Well I drive by this sign at night and the lights that are supposed to illuminate it have been out for at least 2 months.

Cleaver advertising or just plain serendipity?

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Defender of dragons and slayer of fair maidens

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vanilla
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by Chloe:
I think the point is that extremely obese people are included in "obese" and "overweight" as well, and obese people are included in "overweight" too. So 35% of us are overweight, another 25% obese, and 5% extremely obese.

Or was this obvious, and I'm pedantically belaboring a joke, which is quite possible?

The joke is that of people over the age of 20, 100% of them are either overweight, obese, or extremely obese. No underweight or healthy weight people over the age of 20 exist! [Eek!]

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I swear, it was funnier in my head.
Yeah, I used to be pink. vanilla_pink.

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SuperGoten
I Saw Three Shipments


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I didn't actually see this but my dad told me that at one of our local restaraunts a couple weeks ago a sign said:

CHICKEN GRAVY WITH
MASHED POTOTOS

This stayed that way for a week.

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e.grace
I Am Curious, Yellowtail


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There's a bulletin board next to the nurse's office that says 'YOU'RE AN OKE IF YOU SMOKE.'

(Honestly, we're in high school. We don't need the rhyming.)

I was out sick Monday, & when I was passing the sign on Tuesday someone had ripped down some letters to say 'YOU'RE OK IF YOU SMOKE.'

Made me giggle a bit [Big Grin]

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"Starbucks. Oh man, that place is like the promised land."

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Eddylizard
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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emm :] What is an OKE? I tried looking it up but all I found was a South African slang word for a person - nothing derogatory which I assume it is meant as here.

A sign in our smoking room, next to the canteen, lacking some punctuation:

"PLEASE return all cups to the canteen Carol"

{Carol being the canteen manageress.}

To which someone had added "Yes, Carol, keep the place tidy."

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"Ladies and gentlemen, this is what is commonly known as money. It comes in all sizes, colours, and denominations - like people."

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e.grace
I Am Curious, Yellowtail


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Actually...I have no idea what an oke is. Perhaps it was a pathetic attempt to put up something witty in hopes students would listen?

Hah. Fools.

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"Starbucks. Oh man, that place is like the promised land."

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Alluvian
I Saw Three Shipments


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Why not just "You're a Joke if you smoke"? It is the same amount of letters and acually makes some sense. The OKE thing is just dumb. Were they out of J's?
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e.grace
I Am Curious, Yellowtail


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That's so funny you said that, because today I walked by the sign & it said 'YOU'RE JOKE IF YOU SMOKE.'

(the lack of an 'a' is intentional).

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"Starbucks. Oh man, that place is like the promised land."

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