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Author Topic: More Signs of the Times
Hyla Cinerea
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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I bought a frog shaped lighter the other day, and I just noticed the warning lable on the bottom of it. I haven't had a chance to scan it in, but this is what it says:

Warning keep away from children. Don't expose to fire, heat, or sunlight. Don't keep over 120F place and keep lit more than 30 seconds.

The bold emphasis was mine. Its a lighter. It makes fire. And it says to not expose it to fire?

Well, I wasn't planning on using it anyways.

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0100111001101111011100110110010101111001001011000010000001100001

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Rehcsif
We Three Blings


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quote:
Originally posted by Hyla Cinerea:
The bold emphasis was mine. Its a lighter. It makes fire. And it says to not expose it to fire?

Throwing a lighter (with pressurized butane inside) into a fire is a bad idea. Just about every lighter I've ever seen (I'm not a smoker, but use them occasionally) has had this sort of warning...

-Tim

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snopes
Return! Return! Return!


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franjava
Deck the Malls


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Outside a Greek Orthodox Church in Rochester, NY, a vandal changed "holy resurrection" on their letterboard sign to "holy erection." No one noticed 'til my husband called the church office and informed them. (We don't even go to that church!)

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Never eat anything given to you by a toddler.

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HollowMan
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Lonely Mountain:
This is probably a repost but I must add this one because this sign was at the Colony Theater in my home town of Easley, SC. I used to work about 50 yards from this sign. I got to see it live, in person before they took it down later that afternoon.

You may now bask in my awesomeness. Grovelling and genuflection not required but appreciated. [Cool]

My brother was managing that theater the day that sign was up. Incidently, my very first post was about a picture of that sign.

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Heisenberg may have slept here.

I got an idea... an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.

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senshisteph
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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I really should take a picture, but on my bus ride to work in Gifu there's a beauty parlour called 'ASS lab' (presumably from a bad karakana-isation of 'aesthetique') with a bar above it called 'Bottoms Up'.
They had to have done that on purpose, right?

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七転び八起き
nana korobi ya oki
'fall down seven times, get up eight.'

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SuperSlug
Pumpkin carver


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On this store I drive by sometimes,it has this sign:
"WE DO NOT SELL BEER ON SUNDAY."
Under that-
"CAMEL CIGRETTES NOW 50% OFF!"

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"Yeah,I stay on the computer a lot,more than I should.But I don't kill small animals,I don't steal,and I don't do drugs.So leave me alone."-My sister

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evilrabbit
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
Originally posted by SuperSlug:
On this store I drive by sometimes,it has this sign:
"WE DO NOT SELL BEER ON SUNDAY."
Under that-
"CAMEL CIGRETTES NOW 50% OFF!"

Well, that's probably a legal thing. In some areas, it's illegal to sell alcohol on Sundays (without special permits) but no such laws exists for cigarettes. Illogical? Perhaps. But not the store's fault.
rabbit used to work in a drugstore...

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"My sandwich choice is uncertain, until I actually order. It's like Schrodinger's Sandwich."
"Is plutonium involved in this sandwich in any way?"
"Maybe."

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Mr. Furious
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Took this picture on US 17 in Virginia, just before the I-95 junction:

 -

C'mon, have some pride in your product! I mean, how do they know I'll never buy 11 to get 11 free once I taste Popeye's flava?

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"He's not gonna let me in, I'm Mr. Dirty Mouth!"
- Jeffrey Coho (Craig Bierko), Boston Legal

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HenryChicane
I Saw Three Shipments


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 -

I just scanned this. A friend and I bought some cheap airsoft pistols and ammo on a whim at a weird little farmer's market/dirt mall type place. This warning really cracks me up, I keep picturing some little kid scarfing these down like Cookie Monster.

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http://www.myspace.com/ironhillpark

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Dropbear
Angels from the Realms so Glurgy


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quote:
In order to avoid the broken or distortion do not put pressure on the production.
If the little boy got dirty, please clean it with neuter detergent and wipe it with dry cloth.
If it's too dirty it's not easy to clean

On the back of a cheap toy car.

Dropbear

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" The villagers had said justice had been done, and she'd lost patience and told them to go home, then, and pray to whatever gods they believed in that it was never done to them. -- (Terry Pratchett)

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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Remind me never to buy neuter detergent. Neither I nor any of my male friends would ever forgive me.

And this focus on dirty little boys is disturbing.

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People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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snopes
Return! Return! Return!


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Saint Gryphon
I Saw Three Shipments


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There is this billboard on the way to work for an energy company. It says in nice large white letters "Lower your Energy Bill" and has a picture of a person smiling. Nothing unsuall you say... Well I drive by this sign at night and the lights that are supposed to illuminate it have been out for at least 2 months.

Cleaver advertising or just plain serendipity?

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Defender of dragons and slayer of fair maidens

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vanilla
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by Chloe:
I think the point is that extremely obese people are included in "obese" and "overweight" as well, and obese people are included in "overweight" too. So 35% of us are overweight, another 25% obese, and 5% extremely obese.

Or was this obvious, and I'm pedantically belaboring a joke, which is quite possible?

The joke is that of people over the age of 20, 100% of them are either overweight, obese, or extremely obese. No underweight or healthy weight people over the age of 20 exist! [Eek!]

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I swear, it was funnier in my head.
Yeah, I used to be pink. vanilla_pink.

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SuperGoten
I Saw Three Shipments


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I didn't actually see this but my dad told me that at one of our local restaraunts a couple weeks ago a sign said:

CHICKEN GRAVY WITH
MASHED POTOTOS

This stayed that way for a week.

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e.grace
I Am Curious, Yellowtail


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There's a bulletin board next to the nurse's office that says 'YOU'RE AN OKE IF YOU SMOKE.'

(Honestly, we're in high school. We don't need the rhyming.)

I was out sick Monday, & when I was passing the sign on Tuesday someone had ripped down some letters to say 'YOU'RE OK IF YOU SMOKE.'

Made me giggle a bit [Big Grin]

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"Starbucks. Oh man, that place is like the promised land."

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Eddylizard
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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emm :] What is an OKE? I tried looking it up but all I found was a South African slang word for a person - nothing derogatory which I assume it is meant as here.

A sign in our smoking room, next to the canteen, lacking some punctuation:

"PLEASE return all cups to the canteen Carol"

{Carol being the canteen manageress.}

To which someone had added "Yes, Carol, keep the place tidy."

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"Ladies and gentlemen, this is what is commonly known as money. It comes in all sizes, colours, and denominations - like people."

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e.grace
I Am Curious, Yellowtail


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Actually...I have no idea what an oke is. Perhaps it was a pathetic attempt to put up something witty in hopes students would listen?

Hah. Fools.

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"Starbucks. Oh man, that place is like the promised land."

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Alluvian
I Saw Three Shipments


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Why not just "You're a Joke if you smoke"? It is the same amount of letters and acually makes some sense. The OKE thing is just dumb. Were they out of J's?
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e.grace
I Am Curious, Yellowtail


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That's so funny you said that, because today I walked by the sign & it said 'YOU'RE JOKE IF YOU SMOKE.'

(the lack of an 'a' is intentional).

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"Starbucks. Oh man, that place is like the promised land."

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Class Bravo
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Wow...that's up there with the old "Give a Larbage...throw out your Garbage!"
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DarkDan
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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In Weird NJ, they had a sign from a border town in Pennsylvania that says "WOAH SPEED BUMP." It's a legit, government-made sign.

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Missing snopesters | snopesters Facebook group | SLC Birthdays | What does "Bookachow", "YOMANK!" and other lingo mean?
"Gonna free fall out into nothing, gonna leave this world for a while" --Tom Petty

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tribrats
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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I took this picture of the bulletin board at my kids' school.

Maybe they should rethink what makes for a healthy lifestyle.

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Snopes is moving! Here's snopes' announcement.
Come here to re-register!

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Esprise Me
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by tribrats:
I took this picture of the bulletin board at my kids' school.

Maybe they should rethink what makes for a healthy lifestyle.

Wow...just...wow. I'm speechless.

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"If God wrote it, the grammar must be infallible. Perhaps it is we who are mistaken." -MapleLeaf

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Cactus Wren
Jingle Bell Hock


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"Pork with black fungus" reminds me of a .sig file I saw back in my BBSing days: "Red meat bad for you? No, red meat is GOOD for you. Fuzzy blue-green meat is bad for you."

I wish I'd managed to get a photo of the strip-mall where the signs over the shops didn't quite line up with the actual businesses, so that the wall over the entrance read

DENTIST

but painted on the glass immediately below that was

BRAKES RELINED

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“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.” -- Edward R. Murrow

IOToriSparrowANK!

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Paulie Jay
O Little Down-Payment of Bethlehem


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I purchased this pencil case specifically for the mystifying, yet alluring, inscription...

 -

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All the way with Paulie Jay

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Quantum Leap
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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The debate still goes on in Texas if to use the motto Don't Mess With Texas. My husband says,why not mess with Texas, it messes with us.
There are already those signs along the roads. Personally I think it runs better to the one Don't Mess With Texas, Remember the Alamo. We did WIN that one didn't we? HA HA

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Ligeia
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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I was at the license bureau the other day and saw signs at every window stating:

Due to new software
your wait will now
be longer.
Sorry for the
inconvenience.


That's why I love our government. Upgrading to make life worse!

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Fight evil diaper rash!

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snopes
Return! Return! Return!


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snopes
Return! Return! Return!


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snopes
Return! Return! Return!


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Sabrina_Fairchild
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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This thread reminds me of one time a couple years ago in HS. They had the marquee say someting like "We love Track" around track season. Nothing so unsual about that, right?

Well, apparently, someone decided they were going to have some fun and trade the "T" for "C". So, naturally, the sign read "We Love Crack" after doing that. I didn't know about this until someone mentioned it to me and by the time I went outside with my camera, they had switched it back.

Man, would that picture have been funny to have.

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As heard on "Street Smarts":
Q: Chicago has 2 professional baseball teams. The Cubs and....what is the other one? Hint: It's something you probably don't wear a lot.

Girl: Underwear?

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Zamboni_Rodeo
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
 -

Just in time for Christmas!

Does it come in a huge crate marked "FRA-GEE-LAY," I wonder? Can we put it in the front window?

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Where's the challenge in wassailing at Christmas? The place is lousy with wassail!

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Louise
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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quote:
Originally posted by tribrats:
I took this picture of the bulletin board at my kids' school.

Maybe they should rethink what makes for a healthy lifestyle.

My god, that's ridiculous, but really funny at the same time!

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"Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." -- Mark Twain

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