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Author Topic: Severed penis found in convenience store microwave
snopes
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A clerk at a GetGo station made a horrifying discovery after a man walked into the minimart and asked her to heat something wrapped in a paper towel in the store's microwave.

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/06055/660716.stm

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Mistletoey Chloe
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"When the item in the microwave gave off an unusual odor, the clerk opened the over door, unwrapped the paper and found what appeared to be a severed human penis, according to KDKA-TV."

I hate to be crass about this, (no, really) but why would the "unusual odor" be any different from that produced by heating any other meat product?

ETA: quote.

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snopes
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Police: Microwaved Male Body Part a Hoax

A bizarre incident in McKeesport involving a microwave and what was believed to be a male body part is being called a hoax.

http://www.wpxi.com/news/7402304/detail.html

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Mistletoey Chloe
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I am so smart! S-M-R-T!

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Ryda Wong, EBfCo.
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Well, to continue not being crass, but beef smells different than chicken when heated (at least a bit). Perhaps human has a particular smell. Not to mention that processing that most meat products go through would change the smell. I'd think that said severed human penis might not be quite as processed or as cleansed.

But then again, I don't know for sure. Perhaps someone else has experiences in microwaving severed human dicks?

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Mistletoey Chloe
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Psst, Ryda: they smell like pork. Trust me.

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Kid Kilowatt
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Wow. I think the real story is actually more bizarre than the hoax. Seriously, they decided to microwave his urine? In a fake penis? In a convenience store?
I am not surprised these people needed help to pass a drug test.

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GenYus
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quote:
Originally posted by Chloe:
Psst, Ryda: they smell like pork. Trust me.

Um... about that dinner invitation. I'm busy that night. And every other night. Forever.

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IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan

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dfresh
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Especially since the woman planned to use the fake penis to pass HER drug test. Ya think maybe that might have tipped off the testers?

This got me to wondering: is there a device to help women pass a drug test, like the Whizzinator?

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GenYus
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She might have been planning to use the fake penis as a storage device only. IOW, she would have stored the penis with the urine inside herself, then released it from the penis to make it look as if she was urinating. Since the urethra is close to the vaginal opening, anyone would have though that she was actually urinating. If she had used something like a baggie, it wouldn't have come out right.

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IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan

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Angel With Wax Wings
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That's just ODD...that's all I can say about it.

~Monica

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Captain Zombie
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Well, I guess that explains the odd smell.


Captain "drip drip dope" Zombie

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snopes
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Couple Cited in Bizarre Fake Penis Case

A man and woman have been cited in connection with a bizarre incident that resulted in a fake penis being microwaved at a convenience store.

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20060303/D8G4C5VG6.html

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madmardigan
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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
Bizarre Fake Penis Case

As if there's any other kind
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Troberg
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quote:
Especially since the woman planned to use the fake penis to pass HER drug test. Ya think maybe that might have tipped off the testers?
I doubt a company drug test sample is required to be done in front of the tester. There are some limits to how much an employer can invade the privacy of his employees.

On and off in Sweden, there are debates if drug tests at work should be legal at all, for privacy reasons. The reasons against is partly privacy, but also that if the employer suspects drug use, he should contact the police, not play police himself.

quote:
She might have been planning to use the fake penis as a storage device only. IOW, she would have stored the penis with the urine inside herself, then released it from the penis to make it look as if she was urinating. Since the urethra is close to the vaginal opening, anyone would have though that she was actually urinating. If she had used something like a baggie, it wouldn't have come out right.
Then why would she microwave it to get it to body temperature? Apart from the fact that she obviously is about as sharp as a hammer, that is...

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/Troberg

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Jack Dylan
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quote:
Originally posted by Troberg:
Then why would she microwave it to get it to body temperature? Apart from the fact that she obviously is about as sharp as a hammer, that is...

Well, maybe she just wan't too excited about inserting a cold fake penis inside herself. Those areas tend to be rather sensitive to temperature...

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Joseph Z
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Wow. Severed organs seems to be creeping up these days faster than before.

Let's see, severed penis in a fruit punch jar a few years back that turned out to be mold growing in a canister, severed finger in chili from a Dennys restaurant, fake finger in custard, fake severed penis in microwave.

Not to mention bizarre cases in the foreign ages using Indiana Jones Temple of Doom being a case of eating eyeballs in soups, not sure if that is real or not or even happened in the states yet.

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Joseph Z

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TuFurg
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"Pero said the store got rid of the old oven because it couldn't be used for food once bodily fluids were cooked inside it."

I wonder if that was in the corporate manual? [Big Grin]

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Tootsie Plunkette
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Woman Pleads in Bizarre Fake Penis Case

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Pixiesnix
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Even though it turned out to be a hoax, I still want to know...

Do they plump when you cook 'em?

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DeMerick
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quote:
Originally posted by GenYus:
She might have been planning to use the fake penis as a storage device only. IOW, she would have stored the penis with the urine inside herself, then released it from the penis to make it look as if she was urinating. Since the urethra is close to the vaginal opening, anyone would have though that she was actually urinating. If she had used something like a baggie, it wouldn't have come out right.

So, I know this is an old post, but I just had to respond to this. Granted, this probably wasn't the brightest woman in the world, but common sense would tell me, if I'm going to store a dildo inside me for a pee test, I could just put it in a little bit ahead of time to warm it up. Still, I don't know that it would be very comfortable and vaginas aren't really my area of expertise, so I may be totally off base here.

EDT: Helps if I read the ENTIRE thread. Someone else thought of that too, so maybe I do know more about female anatamy than I thought.

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Llewtrah
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quote:
Originally posted by Jack Dylan:
quote:
Originally posted by Troberg:
Then why would she microwave it to get it to body temperature? Apart from the fact that she obviously is about as sharp as a hammer, that is...

Well, maybe she just wan't too excited about inserting a cold fake penis inside herself. Those areas tend to be rather sensitive to temperature...
I complain of the same thing when I get my smear (pap) test. I ask the nurse to warm the speculum otherwise it's like being NFBSKed by an icicle. So far she hasn't asked if my icicle comment is spoken from experience.

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Fantine
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quote:
I doubt a company drug test sample is required to be done in front of the tester. There are some limits to how much an employer can invade the privacy of his employees.
While most drug tests I've taken (for retail jobs, mainly) have been unobserved--meaning they test the temperature to determine whether the urine sample is legit--I did have one that was observed. It was to qualify to work in a tribal school with troubled kids. Very awkward, but at least I was warned ahead of time. The lady who went into the bathroom with me was very discreet. She mainly looked at herself in the mirror and ran the faucet so I wouldn't be too self-conscious to pee.

Apparently it depends on what kind of test they're doing whether it's observed or not. The school required a very detailed test that also required observation. Maybe that was the case for this woman, too.

Of course, I think the best idea would be to NOT USE DRUGS, but that's just my opinion.

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The Rubber Chicken
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quote:
While most drug tests I've taken (for retail jobs, mainly) have been unobserved--meaning they test the temperature to determine whether the urine sample is legit--I did have one that was observed. It was to qualify to work in a tribal school with troubled kids. Very awkward, but at least I was warned ahead of time. The lady who went into the bathroom with me was very discreet. She mainly looked at herself in the mirror and ran the faucet so I wouldn't be too self-conscious to pee.

All the tests in the military are observed. Someone stands right there and watches the urine enter the cup. Then you have to put the cover on and hold it up next to your head so the observer can see it while you carry it to the collection point. And yes, some people are gun shy. A few years ago during a 100% urine test (i.e. 100% of the unit) there was one guy who tried 3 or 4 times before being able to go, even after drinking several bottles of water. Took a couple of hours, total. I felt bad for the guy.

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zerocool
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quote:
Originally posted by The Rubber Chicken:
quote:
While most drug tests I've taken (for retail jobs, mainly) have been unobserved--meaning they test the temperature to determine whether the urine sample is legit--I did have one that was observed. It was to qualify to work in a tribal school with troubled kids. Very awkward, but at least I was warned ahead of time. The lady who went into the bathroom with me was very discreet. She mainly looked at herself in the mirror and ran the faucet so I wouldn't be too self-conscious to pee.

All the tests in the military are observed. Someone stands right there and watches the urine enter the cup. Then you have to put the cover on and hold it up next to your head so the observer can see it while you carry it to the collection point. And yes, some people are gun shy. A few years ago during a 100% urine test (i.e. 100% of the unit) there was one guy who tried 3 or 4 times before being able to go, even after drinking several bottles of water. Took a couple of hours, total. I felt bad for the guy.
My highschool had random urine testing of all students. The tests were observed by a female nurse for the guys. The girls got the same nurse. I didn't really like it, but I guess it was better than being caned.
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