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Author Topic: SIGNS that make no sense
die daagliks phosdex
Monster Mashed Potatos & Grave-y


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quote:
Originally posted by mgbdriver:
There was a bar near me that for a long time the marquee read:
"WARM BEER
LOUSY FOOD"

The Casino bar in LaCrosse, Wisconsin has long been proud of proclaiming LOUSY SERVICE on its sign out front.

Same with the Showboat Saloon in Wisconsin Dells, whose roof also features prominently a sign proclaiming GET NUTS AT THE SHOWBOAT, and a pointing finger directs the shoobie in that direction.

Two rival caricaturists who work the Water Capital in the summer proudly proclaim NO FACE TOO UGLY! beside their respective stands.

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"Nie lees die hoofopskrifte--lees die daagliks phosdex in plaas ..."

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Moosedog
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by Gwaith at 'i awdur:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by mgbdriver:
[qb] There was a bar near me that for a long time the marquee read:
"WARM BEER
LOUSY FOOD"

Was this, by any chance, in ENGLAND?
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After All
The First USA Noel


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There is a really run down house for sale here in town. They have a big piece of plywood propped against it to advertise "House for Sail".
We had a gas station near the interstate with a sign that said "Eat Here Get Gas". They're out of business now though. One mexican restaurant in town has "No Smoking on Sundays" on their sign. I don't know if they are lobbying for that or if the whole place is non smoking on sundays.
It hangs my munchkin to see mispelled advertisements on signs. And I know they don't have much space but is it too much to ask for it to make a little bit of sense?

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The trash heap has spoken! NYAAAHHH

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WildaBeast
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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I saw a house in Marshfield, WI, with a sign proclaiming it the "Ugly house on the block 2004." The house appreared to be undergoing rennovations.

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"Unseasonable is an odd word to begin with. It sounds like it's describing something that it's impossible to sprinkle pepper on." -- Nonny

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PASnow
I Saw Three Shipments


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When I was in college a small Mom & Pop video store had a $1 bill framed. Written underneath was

"Our first doller" {spelled wrong}

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Chabba
The Red and the Green Stamps


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I'm a new member, and I have a picture of a sign that fits right into this thread. It's from a video store in Florida, called Megaflicks. I tell you, they really should have picked another font.


 -

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moonablaze
The Red and the Green Stamps


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my favorite is this one  -

mostly because I know for a fact it wasn't photoshopped. somewhere around here I have a picture of me and a bunch of my friends standing under it. it's up in northern california near mt shasta.

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Buzzkiller
Deck the Malls


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I know of a video store called Fun Flicks that has a similar font problem.

We used to live near a rural quickie mart that advertised
HOT PIZZA
LIVE BAIT

My local Chinese restaurant has a hand-lettered sign offering
SMIRN OFF,
which to me sounds vaguely insulting.

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fledibat
Deck the Malls


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Normally I wouldn't complain about the spelling of English words by immigrant business owners, but this is too weird not to share. At a shoe store in Philadelphis, PA, there was a sign that read "TIS SUNDAY WE AR CLOSS"
I just thought it was really odd that "Sunday" was spelled correctly, but the more common, shorter words were not.

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tekgirl
The Red and the Green Stamps


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My boyfriend and I were driving from Leeds to York last week, when we saw this sign whilst approaching a farm:

HEAVY PLANT CROSSING

I'd be interested to find out what kind of fertilizer they're using....

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Robigus, Frozen Mushroom
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by fledibat:
Normally I wouldn't complain about the spelling of English words by immigrant business owners, but this is too weird not to share. At a shoe store in Philadelphis, PA, there was a sign that read "TIS SUNDAY WE AR CLOSS"
I just thought it was really odd that "Sunday" was spelled correctly, but the more common, shorter words were not.

If it wasn't a handprinted sign, I would guess that they only had one "E" for the sign, and used it to best effect. If it was handprinted, then I would guess they made a funny sign to catch your attention.
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WHATEVER
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by mgbdriver:
There was a bar near me that for a long time the marquee read:
"WARM BEER
LOUSY FOOD"

Another one I remember read, "MY BOSS TOLD ME TO CHANGE THIS SIGN SO I DID."

And, speaking of confusing street names, I went to a wedding in Jackson, Michigan and ran across the intersection of North West St. and West North St.
I got lost.

Are you in Ohio? There was a sign on the way from our town to Toledo that said, "The boss told me to change the sign, so I did". I took a picture of it. If I had a scanner, I'd show ya.

I also have a picture of where the local funeral home director lived. His home was in a cul-de-sac. Of course, at the end of the street was a sign that said "Dead End". It was great to see that when his hearse was parked in the drive. I have a pic of that too! [Smile]

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Chabba
The Red and the Green Stamps


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And there are the "sign scramblers". I'm talking about people, especially mischeivous kids, who rearrange the lettering on hand-printed signs to say something crude, or at least hilariously nonsensical. I remember a few years ago, I was driving past a farmer's market which had a sign like that, and someone had moved the letters around to read "FARTSNAD", whatever that's supposed to mean. I still couldn't figure out what the sign could have originally said, as those were the only letters on the sign.
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mgbdriver
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
Originally posted by WHATEVER:
quote:
Originally posted by mgbdriver:
There was a bar near me that for a long time the marquee read:
"WARM BEER
LOUSY FOOD"

Another one I remember read, "MY BOSS TOLD ME TO CHANGE THIS SIGN SO I DID."

And, speaking of confusing street names, I went to a wedding in Jackson, Michigan and ran across the intersection of North West St. and West North St.
I got lost.

Are you in Ohio? There was a sign on the way from our town to Toledo that said, "The boss told me to change the sign, so I did". I took a picture of it. If I had a scanner, I'd show ya.

I also have a picture of where the local funeral home director lived. His home was in a cul-de-sac. Of course, at the end of the street was a sign that said "Dead End". It was great to see that when his hearse was parked in the drive. I have a pic of that too! [Smile]

Both signs were in Wyandotte, Michigan.

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"Chuck E. Cheese called. They want their band back."

my blog
Help me clean my basement!

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I Am 6-Ironsman
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Chabba:
And there are the "sign scramblers". I'm talking about people, especially mischeivous kids, who rearrange the lettering on hand-printed signs to say something crude, or at least hilariously nonsensical. I remember a few years ago, I was driving past a farmer's market which had a sign like that, and someone had moved the letters around to read "FARTSNAD", whatever that's supposed to mean. I still couldn't figure out what the sign could have originally said, as those were the only letters on the sign.

How about "FARM STAND" and the M was missing? Movie theaters have the same problem, with kids rearranging the letters of movies into funny or dirty anagrams...
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Chabba
The Red and the Green Stamps


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[/qb][/QUOTE]How about "FARM STAND" and the M was missing? Movie theaters have the same problem, with kids rearranging the letters of movies into funny or dirty anagrams... [/QB][/QUOTE]

That's probably what it was, I just never thought there may have been a missing letter. There's another example of sign scrambling on The Simpsons. They're at a restaurant, where a hand-printed sign displays the special, COD PLATTER. Bart rearranges the letters to say "COLD PET RAT". Pretty funny.

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Wizard of Yendor
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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There's a "class" of signs that irritate me. You know how you sometimes see sign that just have 3 or more words, not forming a sentence describing what the business does? It bothers me when the words don't go together in any logical way. For example:
CAKES * PIES * COOKIES is fine
DELICIOUS * HEALTHY * CHEAP is fine
CAKES * PIES * DELICIOUS doesn't fit right
The only real example I can think of right now is:

ALARMS . TINT . INSTALLATION

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Tootsie Plunkette
Buy a Torch, Jeanette, Isabella


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I've seen "The boss told me to change the sign" signs in a couple of places around the country.

One of them was a pizza parlor. The next week, the sign read, "SEVEN DAYS WITHOUT PIZZA MAKE ONE WEAK"

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--Tootsie

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Smart Arse
Ceylon Sailor


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Seen in a Mexican trinket shop:

Nice to touch, nice to hold, but if you break it, considerate sold.

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Smart "Tired of concocting clever middle names" Arse :D

"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve" - Bilbo Baggins

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Island Manta
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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seen on the road going through Smith Bay (actually painted ON the road)

BUMP
SPEED


Yep - reading it you'd read 'bump' first - but driving it you're supposed to read "speed" first. Crazy islanders. At least there IS a speed bump there....and the road signs are correct.

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"You never know when you will be attacked by a wild tortilla" - Josť Zavala
"Happiness isn't happiness without a violin playing goat"
Be good and you will be lonesome

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Buzzkiller
Deck the Malls


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quote:
And there are the "sign scramblers". I'm talking about people, especially mischeivous kids, who rearrange the lettering on hand-printed signs to say something crude, or at least hilariously nonsensical.
Awww, now you're making me miss Fawlty Towers!
FARTY TOWELS
FLOWERY TWATS
...and so on.

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Danger Echidna
Petty Experimentalist


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There's a gas station in Taylor, Michigan with a marquee that says: "SLUSH NACHO SOLD HERE". I don't know what "slush nacho" is supposed to be, but it sure doesn't sound very appetizing.

Also, I once saw a bar with a sign that said "BEER ON TAP", only half of the "R" was missing, so it looked like it said "BEEF ON TAP". I thought that was pretty funny.

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Phildonnia 2
The Red and the Green Stamps


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This sign in Hayward CA (visible from the 880 freeway) was often the subject of wild speculations as to its meaning:
 -

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M. Wise
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by Phildonnia 2:
This sign in Hayward CA (visible from the 880 freeway) was often the subject of wild speculations as to its meaning:
 -

Hm, casting porosity is an industrial problem. Porosity is basically air that gets trapped in a casting where you want metal to be. There are many, many types of porosity that arise with different ways of casting.

M. "industrial engineers make everything boring..." Wise

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B Hamilton
Xboxing Day


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Today, I saw a cardboard, hand lettered sign that said: "FREE! to good home!" and an arrow pointing down. There below the sign next to the curb was a dead raccoon, definitely dead for awhile and bloated and looked like it had been hit by a car. I guess someone had a sense of humor while waiting for the sanitation, highway dept., or animal control to pick up the roadkill.

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"This is my family. I found it all on my own. It's little & broken but still good."

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DarkDan
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by Wizard of Yendor:
There's a "class" of signs that irritate me. You know how you sometimes see sign that just have 3 or more words, not forming a sentence describing what the business does? It bothers me when the words don't go together in any logical way.

A business in my town has [Some name] * [Some other name] * Interiors

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Missing snopesters | snopesters Facebook group | SLC Birthdays | What does "Bookachow", "YOMANK!" and other lingo mean?
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Hans Off
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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We have one here that says

SKATEBOARDING STRICTLY PROHIBITED

Irritates the hell out of me!

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"British English speakers point to Americans adding more syllables so that they can make even more noise without actually saying anything." Llewtrah


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STF
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Hans Off:
We have one here that says

SKATEBOARDING STRICTLY PROHIBITED

Irritates the hell out of me!

Only sorta related but my friend took one of those bumper stickers that said 'Skateboarding is not a crime' cut it up, rearranged it and turned it into 'Not skateboarding is a crime.' It struck me as funny. This is sorta related because the bumper sticker was in response to the sign that irritates you. As if y'all don't realize that.

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STF on MySpace

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Hans Off
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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It irritates me because of the pointless inclusion of the word 'Strictly'

something is either prohibited or not!

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"British English speakers point to Americans adding more syllables so that they can make even more noise without actually saying anything." Llewtrah


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rockland6674
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Chabba:
And there are the "sign scramblers". I'm talking about people, especially mischeivous kids, who rearrange the lettering on hand-printed signs to say something crude, or at least hilariously nonsensical.

I can think of three such instances:

Last autumn, I was driving past a business that had closed for the winter, and noticed that the letters on the "THANK YOU" sign had been rearranged to read "YANK THOU".

Back when I was going to school in Boston, I would occasionally walk past FLAGGS MARKET. At one point, someone stole the "L," so the sign read, "F AGGS MARKET".

This last one is my favorite, because it appeared in a newspaper photo: Across the street from Nantasket Beach in Hull, Mass., there is a sidewalk with a strip of food stands and arcades. The Patriot Ledger printed a picture of this strip which included the sign for an arcade called DREAM MACHINE. Someone had stolen the "D" from the front of the sign, so it read, "REAM MACHINE".

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Quibble
The Red and the Green Stamps


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There is a church I used to drive past on my way to Uni, many years ago now. They had a sign outside that would change regularly to try and attract visitors. The only one that I can remember is:

FEELING THE HEAT? THEN TURN UP THE PRAYER CONDITIONER

yikes...

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KingDavid8
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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I remember seeing a donut shop where the marquee said something like "Your Boss Called. He Wants You To Bring In Some Donuts".

David

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www.MySpace.com/KDavid8

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Dustin Oliver
The Red and the Green Stamps


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One of the Hardee's restaraunts in town always has its desert special and its sandwich special advertised on the same sign. They don't seperate the two, nor do they use puncuation. It provides an endless source of amusement for my wife and I when I drive her to work. It always says things like

BACON DOUBLE
THICKBURGER
PEACH SHAKE

BIG BEEF
TRY A NEW
BANANA SPLIT
SHAKE

And my favorite...

NOW HIRING
BIG CHICKEN
ICE CREAM CONE $1
[fish]

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Rynn
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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quote:
Originally posted by Quibble:
There is a church I used to drive past on my way to Uni, many years ago now. They had a sign outside that would change regularly to try and attract visitors. The only one that I can remember is:

FEELING THE HEAT? THEN TURN UP THE PRAYER CONDITIONER

yikes...

In my town in MA, the Baptist church does the same thing. My fave was:

EVEN JESUS WAS ONCE A BASKET CASE

Another funny sign example was at a roadside general store that had buckets of cut flowers outside with a sign advertising:

"Bo-Kays"

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newfiedarling
The Red and the Green Stamps


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"EVEN JESUS WAS ONCE A BASKET CASE"

Shouldn't it be Moses was once a basket case?

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