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Author Topic: SIGNS that make no sense
Purple Cow
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Brillo Bee:
And while I knew what this next sign meant, it was funnier to take it at its word. At a camp I stayed at, the chef and the assistant chef had their own cabins. Outside one of the cabins was a sign: "Ass Chef"

Brillo ~I guess that's the chef who tosses the salads~ Bee

At the camp I worked at, we always called the health officers the HOs. ...and the assistant health officer was the Ass. HO.

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-Dr. Heisler, American Dad

Baby Alex!

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boogers
We Three Blings


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I knew a guy who was in charge of organizing a get together of several student religious groups at UNM. He put a sign up listing the groups but didn't know how to abbreviate association. As a result the "Bahai Student Ass" and the "Jewish Student Ass" were listed.

A couple weeks ago I saw one of those signs that lists the current time and temperature. It said the temperature was 257 degrees. I hear a lot about global warming but I didn't know it was that bad.

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JimYanni
Who, me?


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quote:
Originally posted by boogers:
A couple weeks ago I saw one of those signs that lists the current time and temperature. It said the temperature was 257 degrees. I hear a lot about global warming but I didn't know it was that bad. [/QB]

Degrees Kelvin, perhaps?
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JimYanni
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PrincessLeia
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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quote:
Originally posted by JimYanni:
quote:
Originally posted by boogers:
A couple weeks ago I saw one of those signs that lists the current time and temperature. It said the temperature was 257 degrees. I hear a lot about global warming but I didn't know it was that bad.

Degrees Kelvin, perhaps? [/QB]
If it was about -16C or 3F maybe.
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die daagliks phosdex
Monster Mashed Potatos & Grave-y


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quote:
Originally posted by Em:
quote:
Originally posted by Don Enrico:
quote:
Originally posted by dlloyd:
Might need to be British to appreciate this...

 -

I'm European, but i don't get it...

ETA quote

Fanny = UK slang term for female genitalia.
Actually, "fanny" is American slang for "arse."

Which recalls where the British film Fanny by Gaslight had to be retitled for American release.

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"Nie lees die hoofopskrifte--lees die daagliks phosdex in plaas ..."

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bouscal
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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Not exactly a sign but close;
on the plane today on the back of the package of peanuts, directly underneath the ingedients which list 'peanuts' as one of them is a warning that the product was processed in a plant which MAY also process peanuts... ummm, hello? anyone home?

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whoops!! I guess I might need that when they invent stereo...

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Joseph Z
Xboxing Day


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"Signs of Love"

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Joseph Z

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Archie2K
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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Another to add to the list of misplaced quote marks.

Fresh food served "all" day, "every" day

I can't even begin to comprehend what that is actually saying.

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robbiev - singin' off key
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I'm sure it means, as opposed to, "from 4-7 on Wednesday and Friday only. Other times, you get the old crap from the previous week."

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Every time I see a good looking woman, I think, "0oooh. There's another one I'll never have!"

Corvette. The louder you scream, the faster I'll go.

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WildaBeast
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by bouscal:
Not exactly a sign but close;
on the plane today on the back of the package of peanuts, directly underneath the ingedients which list 'peanuts' as one of them is a warning that the product was processed in a plant which MAY also process peanuts... ummm, hello? anyone home?

Did the warning specifically say "peanuts" or just "nuts"? If it's the latter, technically peanuts aren't nuts, so the warning would be for people who are allergic to real nuts but not peanuts.

Otherwise, I would guess that it's just cheaper to stamp that warning on everything that factory.

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"Unseasonable is an odd word to begin with. It sounds like it's describing something that it's impossible to sprinkle pepper on." -- Nonny

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Don Enrico
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by WildaBeast:
quote:
Originally posted by bouscal:
Not exactly a sign but close;
on the plane today on the back of the package of peanuts, directly underneath the ingedients which list 'peanuts' as one of them is a warning that the product was processed in a plant which MAY also process peanuts... ummm, hello? anyone home?

Did the warning specifically say "peanuts" or just "nuts"? If it's the latter, technically peanuts aren't nuts, so the warning would be for people who are allergic to real nuts but not peanuts.

Otherwise, I would guess that it's just cheaper to stamp that warning on everything that factory.

Or it is the law that says "everything processed in a factory that also processes peanuts must have a warning label" without saying "unless it's obviously peanuts, stupid!".

Don "I wish laws would be written like that sometimes" Enrico

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My spelling is Wobbly. It's good spelling, but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places. - Pooh Bear

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Ulkomaalainen
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
Originally posted by Archie2K:
Another to add to the list of misplaced quote marks.

Fresh food served "all" day, "every" day

I can't even begin to comprehend what that is actually saying.

I like those quotation marks as a sign of stressing something. "Fresh" food in a "comfortable" athmosphere doesn't sound to me like it was probably intended [Smile]

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Movie characters never make typing mistakes.

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BluesScale
Deck the Malls


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With regard to the peanuts post, I did once buy a bag which said "Salted peanuts" on the front and under the ingredients title on the back, it just said "See front"

Blues

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The Pikey Snow Queen
The First USA Noel


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Hey, first post so be gentle with me.

My own personal favourite sign is a road sign near where I live. It's to a town called Wetherby and says "For Wetherby follow existing signs". Made me wonder who would follow nonexistant signs and why you would put up a sign solely to refer to another sign!

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Brosandi. Hendumst hringi
Hldumst hendur
Allur heimurinn skr
Nema stendur

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notgillcup
Deck the Malls


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I always follow the nonexistant signs. Hmmm, maybe that's why I get lost so often.
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The Pikey Snow Queen
The First USA Noel


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Think that's probably where I have been going wrong too.

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Brosandi. Hendumst hringi
Hldumst hendur
Allur heimurinn skr
Nema stendur

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notgillcup
Deck the Malls


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This may not precisely belong in this thread, but...

I always get annoyed at the signs around schools that say something along the lines of "Drug-free zone". I presume what is meant by this is that there are tougher penalties for drug-related offenses in these areas near schools - designed, I suppose, to more harshly punish drug dealings around schools, and help prevent drug dealers preying on school-age children.

But, to me, the sign doesn't really say that. Instead, it implies that outside of the "drug-free" zone, drugs are a-ok. Which they aren't.

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robbiev - singin' off key
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by notgillcup:
...snip...
But, to me, the sign doesn't really say that. Instead, it implies that outside of the "drug-free" zone, drugs are a-ok. Which they aren't.

Sort of similar;

When I see a "speed zone ahead" sign, I always think to myself, "Great. It's ok to speed now."

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Every time I see a good looking woman, I think, "0oooh. There's another one I'll never have!"

Corvette. The louder you scream, the faster I'll go.

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The Pikey Snow Queen
The First USA Noel


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Don't think we get those over here . . . just those damn non-existant signs to confuse people!

Saw a good one today though:

Toilets closed due to unsociable behaviour

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Brosandi. Hendumst hringi
Hldumst hendur
Allur heimurinn skr
Nema stendur

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notgillcup
Deck the Malls


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Yeah, I've always thought those [speed zone] signs were weird. Couldn't a different phrase be used to more accurately convey the intended meaning? Speed Limit Changes or Limit Change Ahead, or something like that. Or Lower Speed Ahead, or Slow Down Soon. Or simply Slow Down (as I think - but I could be wrong - the signs refer to a zone where the speed limit is lowered).

Hmmm - "unsociable behaviour". That's a good one. The mind reels thinking of what specific unsociable behavior would cause a restroom (I think "restroom" is the USian equivalent to "toilets" in this example) to be closed.

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The Pikey Snow Queen
The First USA Noel


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It just conjured up an image of an unsociable toilet sulking in the corner to me!

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Brosandi. Hendumst hringi
Hldumst hendur
Allur heimurinn skr
Nema stendur

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notgillcup
Deck the Malls


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[lol]

Or, perhaps toilets spewing water at people, or slamming down their lids at awkward moments - that would be pretty unsociable.

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WildaBeast
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by notgillcup:
Yeah, I've always thought those [speed zone] signs were weird. Couldn't a different phrase be used to more accurately convey the intended meaning? Speed Limit Changes or Limit Change Ahead, or something like that. Or Lower Speed Ahead, or Slow Down Soon. Or simply Slow Down (as I think - but I could be wrong - the signs refer to a zone where the speed limit is lowered).

It seems like different states might use different signs to convey that message. In North Carolina the signs usually read something like "Begin 35 500 feet ahead," which I was used to, but someone not familiar with them would probably find confusing. California (or at least this city) has signs that are much clearer in my opinion; they simply read "25 zone ahead."

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"Unseasonable is an odd word to begin with. It sounds like it's describing something that it's impossible to sprinkle pepper on." -- Nonny

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The Pikey Snow Queen
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by notgillcup:
[lol]

Or, perhaps toilets spewing water at people, or slamming down their lids at awkward moments - that would be pretty unsociable.

[lol]

My imagination's gone crazy! Getting an image of gangs of rogue toilets mugging old ladies, flushing unsuspecting bystanders and waving their lids in a menacing manner!

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Brosandi. Hendumst hringi
Hldumst hendur
Allur heimurinn skr
Nema stendur

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notgillcup
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by WildaBeast:
quote:
Originally posted by notgillcup:
Yeah, I've always thought those [speed zone] signs were weird. Couldn't a different phrase be used to more accurately convey the intended meaning? Speed Limit Changes or Limit Change Ahead, or something like that. Or Lower Speed Ahead, or Slow Down Soon. Or simply Slow Down (as I think - but I could be wrong - the signs refer to a zone where the speed limit is lowered).

It seems like different states might use different signs to convey that message. In North Carolina the signs usually read something like "Begin 35 500 feet ahead," which I was used to, but someone not familiar with them would probably find confusing. California (or at least this city) has signs that are much clearer in my opinion; they simply read "25 zone ahead."
Yeah, now that you mention it, I've seen some signs like that as well. "XX zone ahead" is so much clearer. Maybe the generic "Speed Zone Ahead" signs are used when there isn't enough money in the budget to spring for the fancier, more specific signs [lol] . I've lived and/or travelled in many states, and haven't really noticed a pattern, but I wasn't looking for one ... I was probably going too fast to take notice, anyway. [Wink]
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robbiev - singin' off key
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It's always been sort of odd to me anyway. It seems a sign saying "Speed Limit" at the spot where the 35 MPH limits starts would be good enough. I guess it's just an extra warning.

Around here, as with most cities, I'm sure, it seems like it's more of a suggestion anyway more than an actual law. [Wink]

Robbiev -I don't understand the problem officer, I *was* going at least 70, just like the sign says- 427

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Every time I see a good looking woman, I think, "0oooh. There's another one I'll never have!"

Corvette. The louder you scream, the faster I'll go.

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Victoria J
Jingle Bell Hock


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The little shop in Walthamstow bus station has just got a machine for Slush Puppy iced drinks (actually not that brand, but similar ice and syrup mixed by churning machine). The sign they have put up is rather more disturbing :

quote:
Slash Puppy Drink Here
Victoria J - Glad to be vegetarian.

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Post accompanied by maniacal laughter.

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robbiev - singin' off key
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by Victoria J:
The little shop in Walthamstow bus station has just got a machine for Slush Puppy iced drinks (actually not that brand, but similar ice and syrup mixed by churning machine). The sign they have put up is rather more disturbing :

quote:
Slash Puppy Drink Here
Victoria J - Glad to be vegetarian.
Don't slashed puppies belong in Glurge? [Big Grin]

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Every time I see a good looking woman, I think, "0oooh. There's another one I'll never have!"

Corvette. The louder you scream, the faster I'll go.

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Victoria J
Jingle Bell Hock


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Well slashing puppies to make soft drinks has to be worse than bonsai kittens...

Victoria J.

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Post accompanied by maniacal laughter.

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Stoneage Dinosaur
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I saw a sign last night on a fire exit stating "Warning - door alarmed" and the first thing that popped into my head was that it must have been frightened by some anti social toilets. [Big Grin]

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"You learn something new every day if you're not careful" - Wilf Lunn

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The Pikey Snow Queen
The First USA Noel


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That's going to stay in my head for days now! [lol]

--------------------
Brosandi. Hendumst hringi
Hldumst hendur
Allur heimurinn skr
Nema stendur

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Rehcsif
We Three Blings


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On the "speed zone" subject:

Iowa uses "Speed Zone Ahead" most of the time. Minnesota seems to prefer "Reduced Speed Ahead". My wife, a MN native, always thought the IA signs were weird, but I grew up with them so it was normal to me...

My assumption is that these date back from the days of unposted speed limits in rural areas. It's my understanding that at one point, the speed limit on rural Iowa roads was "as fast as conditions allow". So "speed zone ahead" makes more sense in that context: it's saying that coming up ahead is a speed-restricted zone.

-Tim

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notgillcup
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Stoneage Dinosaur:
I saw a sign last night on a fire exit stating "Warning - door alarmed" and the first thing that popped into my head was that it must have been frightened by some anti social toilets. [Big Grin]

Okay, that's the second time in two days that you have made me literally laugh out loud at my computer screen - before I even received the keyboard you owe me from yesterday. This silliness has got to stop. Stop, I say!

Rehcsif - I think you are probably correct about the signs.

To sort of go off topic, even Reduced Speed Ahead (I think I've seen those too) is also somewhat unclear. The speed limit is what is reduced. Reduced Speed Ahead sort of sounds like the vehicle's speed will somehow be automatically reduced, and the sign is saying to the driver "just so you know...". Hopefully, it is difficult enough to get a driving license to prevent anyone who really believed that was possible from being able to drive.

I know. I'm splitting hairs. [fish] But it is fun to think of alternate meanings of signs.

not"always sociable in the toilet"gillcup

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BlushingBride
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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The signs along my commute used to say Reduced Speed Ahead. But this morning, I noticed that they were replaced by big yellow warning triangles with a picture of a speed limit sign inside. It's much clearer for the hairsplitters, but darned if my first thought wasn't that the sign meant "Warning! Dangerous signs ahead!"

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"In perfume, as in underwear, the scantiest of applications provides the greatest of returns." -Silas Sparkhammer

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