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» Hello snopes.com » Urban Legends » Business » SIGNS that make no sense (Page 12)

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Author Topic: SIGNS that make no sense
rockland6674
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Approximately 20 years ago, there was a local cable program called "Dan Ceto Live" ("Ceto" was pronounced "Chet-o".) The name of the program was taken from a mis-spaced sign at the local Chinese restaurant: "DAN CETO THE LIVE SOUNDS OF..." (whatever band was playing there at the time.)
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DarkDan
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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A street sign a few houses up says "Trent Road." I can see why there's a period after Road if it's abbreviated, but if the whole word in spelled out, one's not needed.

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Missing snopesters | snopesters Facebook group | SLC Birthdays | What does "Bookachow", "YOMANK!" and other lingo mean?
"Gonna free fall out into nothing, gonna leave this world for a while" --Tom Petty

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Kev
We Three Blings


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quote:
Originally posted by Vinnichanka:
5 years ago I was in Prescott, Az (a small town). We pull up to the gas station. On one of the pumps there is a sign "NO CHECKS! ACCEPTED" (with this exact punctuation). A few weeks later it's updated "NO! CHECKS ACCEPTED"
Some day I'll find a photo of it that I took...

That's funny. As though answering the unasked question "Do you accept cash only?"

Works on contingency? No, money down!
(5 points for ref...easy)

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Austin Stars Drum & Bugle Corps | Kev's MySpace

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Joseph Z
Xboxing Day


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I liked Spaceballs bumper sticker sign.

"WE BRAKE FOR NOBODY!"

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Joseph Z

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OTL
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Kev:
Works on contingency? No, money down!
(5 points for ref...easy)

Lionel Hutz' ad, from The Simpsons.

-OTL, oh, and this American Bar Association symbol probably shouldn't be there, either...

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"I've allowed my love of gravy to distract from my prescriptivist linguistic crusade!"
-T-Rex, Dinosaur Comics

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TailsAndy
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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quote:
Originally posted by swollen_ostrich:
I enjoy the sign by my house - "Caution Deaf Children"

I never realized they were so dangerous [fish]

Oh, we are. [Razz]

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You know when you've found it... because you feel it when they take it away. - Damien Rice

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Elwood
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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Saw I new one today when walking through town on my lunch break:

"Caution: Hanging Glass Doors may be heavy at times."

This was on the doors to a business--the *only* doors. How can they be heavy at times?

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"If I didn't see it and didn't know it was a real news report, I wouldn't believe it. I mean, how nutty can you get?"-Pat Robertson Oct 26, 2006.

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HYHYBT
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Not really -- you have to know what the screens are saying. But if you used the same ATM regularly, or the same type of ATM, you could easilly memorize the prompts...
Works fine until they change the prompts [Smile]

quote:
There's a street in a neighbourhood near mine that's spelt differently on road signs, depending on which side of the street you're driving on. One side of the street consistently spells it "Birney Lane" and the other side consistently spells it "Burney Lane". It's been like this as far back as anybody knows, nobody really remembers why it was that way in the first place, and people are so used to it, nobody's bothered to change it.
The main street through town here is spelled "Broad St" northbound and "Elm St" southbound. Really.
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Robigus, Frozen Mushroom
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Elwood:
Saw I new one today when walking through town on my lunch break:

"Caution: Hanging Glass Doors may be heavy at times."

This was on the doors to a business--the *only* doors. How can they be heavy at times?

My guess would be seasonal gravitational fluctuations. Either that or someone forgot to reset them to "light" when the sun is out.
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Shurimon
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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quote:
The main street through town here is spelled "Broad St" northbound and "Elm St" southbound. Really.
Kinda makes one wonder how it got that way and why nobody's ever bothered to fix it. [Confused]

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"Oh, coulda-shoulda-Prada, honey!" ~Karen, "Will & Grace"
Head of Hufflepuff at Platform 9 3/4. PNTQ- The One For You!

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TailsAndy
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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What's in between?

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You know when you've found it... because you feel it when they take it away. - Damien Rice

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Jaime Vargas Sanchez
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Elwood:
Saw I new one today when walking through town on my lunch break:

"Caution: Hanging Glass Doors may be heavy at times."

This was on the doors to a business--the *only* doors. How can they be heavy at times?

Maybe they're motorized or something and if the system fails the doors are indeed heavy?

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"Everyone has problems. They only vary in design" - Mama Duck

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DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Resurrecting this thread to mention a radio ad for a retirement community:
Woman in ad: My youngest daughter of three just called and told me about Community Name.
[Confused]
Now when I first heard that I thought, man, lady, you've got one precocious daughter! [Eek!] She knows about retirement communities and knows enough to tell you about them! [Eek!]
Of course, the woman means that her youngest ADULT daughter called her about Community Name, but man, whatta a poorly worded ad!

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Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!!

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Ligeia
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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This sign makes sense when you read the whole thing, but the use of bold letters gives the wrong message if you just take a quick glance.

ATTENTION CUSTOMERS
Please use the cart corrals.
WE CANNOT BE RESPONSIBLE
for damage caused
by shopping carts.

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Fight evil diaper rash!

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senshisteph
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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I worked at a retirement home, many moons ago, where the manager liked to put little signs up everywhere reminding the staff of their duties. Unfortunately she couldn't spell to save her life. 2 gems that stick in my mind are:

"Please place bowel in sink"

"Night care staff must hover through hall and lounge"

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七転び八起き
nana korobi ya oki
'fall down seven times, get up eight.'

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senshisteph
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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waffles...

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七転び八起き
nana korobi ya oki
'fall down seven times, get up eight.'

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senshisteph
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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Double helping of waffles. Sorry - I can't see my own posts for some reason??

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七転び八起き
nana korobi ya oki
'fall down seven times, get up eight.'

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Mistletoey Chloe
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Try holding down "control" while you hit "refresh." That tends to do it.

And welcome!

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~~Ai am in mai prrrrrraime!~~

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Ligeia
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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quote:
Originally posted by senshisteph:
I used to work in a retirement home where the manager loved to pin signs up everywhere reminding staff of their duties. Unfortunately she couldn't spell. Two gems that have stuck in my mind ever since are:

"Please place bowel in sink"

"Night care staff must hover through hall and lounge"

I was in an employee's restroom of a well known department store where the manager had put up a sing detailing appropriate work attire. It was good (if somewhat puritanical) up to the last line: "If your grandmother would approve of your outfit, you shouldn't wear it."

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Fight evil diaper rash!

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Joseph Z
Xboxing Day


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"PLEASE PAY INSIDE FIRST BEFORE DISPENSING GAS" in a closed gas station

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Joseph Z

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boogers
We Three Blings


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Another weird NM sign: In Las Vegas, New Mexico there is a building with a sign out front reading "Intermodal Facility."

Judging by the appearance of the building and its proximity to railroad tracks, 30 years ago it would have been known as "Train Station."

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AnglsWeHvHrdOnHiRdr
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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An intermodal facility that close to train tracks would indicate that containers can be loaded onto tractor trailers from flatbed train cars.

"Inter" = between
"mode" = way, method.

Intermodal transportation generally means product moves, via containers, over land on trucks or trains, and over sea on container ships. Here's some academic stuff on it. And, yeah, I used to deal with such things in my former life.

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"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."--George Bernard Shaw

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Gunmetal
The Red and the Green Stamps


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A sign on the side of the road on a highway that says "Drunk drivers will be arrested"
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Cervus
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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The stretch of 301 between Starke and Lawtey, FL is one of my favorite places to find strange signs. Yesterday I saw one posted high in a clump of trees, not quite billboard size but certainly large enough to elicit a "WTF?". There were no nearby stores, just a few rundown shacks and occasional trailers.

The sign stated: "Vacuum Cleaner"

I wish I had a camera so I could post a pic. It was so non-sequiter that I have a hunch it had once advertised for one of the nearby rundown buildings, but now it just sits there in the middle of nowhere and makes you say "Huh?"

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"There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen
Won't somebody please think of the adults!

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Rehcsif
We Three Blings


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quote:
Originally posted by Gunmetal:
A sign on the side of the road on a highway that says "Drunk drivers will be arrested"

And this sign makes no sense why?

-Tim

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Gunmetal
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by Rehcsif Mit:
quote:
Originally posted by Gunmetal:
A sign on the side of the road on a highway that says "Drunk drivers will be arrested"

And this sign makes no sense why?

-Tim

Because its on the highway, so the only drunk people who would see it would be driving, so it really has no effect.

-Syd

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Rehcsif
We Three Blings


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quote:
Originally posted by Gunmetal:
Because its on the highway, so the only drunk people who would see it would be driving, so it really has no effect.

Not really... The potential drunk drivers could be on their way to a bar or party, for example.

Essentially it's a way of saying "don't drink and drive -- we enforce this". I don't find it out of place...

-Tim

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Casey, making hot chocolate
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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There is one, by an elementary school no less, which signifies a speed bump. No problem, except that this little elementary school proudly announces Speed Humps. [Wink]

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"To be or not to be! That is the question! Now, will you answer, dare, double dare, or take the Physical Challenge?" --Mark Summers as Hamlet
Countdown: 177 days and counting... or less. My blog. 14 keyboards owed.

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OTL
The First USA Noel


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This one actually does make sense, but I find it amusing anyway. In front of a local business (with the person's name changed, as that's not the important part):

"Doc" Smith, Chiropractor

Well, at least he's not pretending to be a real doctor...

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"I've allowed my love of gravy to distract from my prescriptivist linguistic crusade!"
-T-Rex, Dinosaur Comics

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Rehcsif
We Three Blings


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On the same vein, I saw a truck (garbage truck I think) the other day that had the motto:

"Service" Guaranteed!

I had to chuckle, since whenever I see things like that in double quotes, I think it means the opposite...

-Tim

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eternalsaturn
Sebring-a-Ding-a-Ding


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(Hi, long time lurker, first time poster here.)

There's one I saw a couple weeks ago that I assume was advertising a flea market and bake sale at the same time. The thing is, however, that the words "market" and "sale" were too small to really be legible from the road (it was a hand-lettered sign) so at first glance it seemed to say "FLEA BAKE!"

Not the funniest example, but the mental image of people baking fleas is pretty amusing. [Smile]

One that just plain baffled me; outside of a large metal building with the words "DIRECT FURNITURE OUTLET" very prominently displayed on the front: "THIS IS A FURNITURE STORE". Really? I could've sworn you were a lingerie shop or something.

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"Video games are bad for you? That's what they said about rock and roll." - Shigeru Miyamoto

my dA page

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I Am 6-Ironsman
Deck the Malls


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MEMBER SERVICE

As seen in the front of every Costco store. Always wanted to get my member serviced; none would oblige. [lol]

ALL MAY PARK. ALL MUST PAY.

Saw that sign on a parking meter in Rosslyn (Arlington) VA. I could just imagine this being said in a booming, threatening voice...

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Troodon
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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Doesn't that mean that you have to pay even if you do not park?

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Fools! You've over-estimated me!

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dagwood
Deck the Malls


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There is a bridal shop down the street from me. When it first opened it had a banner that read "Free groom with bridal gown purchase"

Dag "make mine rich, please" wood

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Fuchsia
Xboxing Day


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I was going to a department store restroom and the "Ladies Room" sign had the "i" and "e" missing, so it became "Lad s Room."

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Nothing makes sense, so let's have no more nothing and stop making sense.

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