snopes.com Post new topic  Post a reply
search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Hello snopes.com » SLC Central » SLC: A Best Buy Christmas » Problems with my daughter.

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Problems with my daughter.
tribrats
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


Icon 606 posted      Profile for tribrats   Author's Homepage   E-mail tribrats   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
I'm not really looking for advise. I don't know what I'm looking for. I guess just a chance to vent without taking it out on anyone. Put my thoughts into words and let myself face the fact that I am frustrated and upset.

I suspect my oldest daughter is jealous of my youngest. Alyssa is 9 1/2 and Abby is 4. Lyss will constantly get Abby to do things she know will get her in trouble. Like jump on the furniture, play with the ornaments on the tree, mostly just little stuff. Most times she doesn't realize that her whisper isn't quite a whisper and that I can hear her. Then she can't figure out how I knew the truth even though she won't admit to it. Or she will do something and blame it on Abby. Spill the cats' water, dump a cup of milk, draw on the wall.

Things are starting to get serious though. This morning Abby's bangs were cut. Along with all the hair off a couple of the dolls Abby got for her birthday. Now Abby has cut her hair and dolls hair before so at first I believed Lyss. But I got to questioning it when I realized how straight her hair was cut and the dolls didn't look like Abby's usual handiwork.

Our school counselor is wonderful so I called and left a message for her to call me. I'm going to ask her to talk to Lyss and see what she thinks. I honestly don't understand why Lyss is having these issues. I don't think it is the possessions so much as Lyss wants to be babied. She seems to get the most upset when Abby gets help with something that Lyss has mastered for years (like putting on shoes). Abby is very independent and would prefer if we didn't help her at all but Lyss would be happy if we babied her. And I refuse.

All the kids have chores and we have very simple rules involving chores. If you don't do them, you don't get allowance/special privileges. If you fight about them, you get less allowance/privileges. Not doing them at all gets you nothing but being in trouble.

Abby is more than willing to help and so she gets rewarded for it. Lyss on the other hand will fight or flat out refuse. I won't fight. I just offer the chores to one of the other 2 for extra. So then Lyss will get mad because she didn't get something and one of the other 2 did. And I won't just hand my kids money. They have to earn it.

I love her so much but I am getting so frustrated. I need to stop this before it progresses to someone getting hurt. Hubby feels the same way.

Her doctor touched on O.D.D. last year but tentatively ruled it out. I'm starting to wonder if we should rethink it.

She is such a sweet kid. I just wish I knew what to do to help her.

Thanks for listening to me babble. I think I will go have a good cry and get that out of my system too since I seem to be on a roll.

--------------------
Snopes is moving! Here's snopes' announcement.
Come here to re-register!

Posts: 2448 | From: New Hampshire | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Lainie   E-mail Lainie   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
You didn't ask for advice, and I don't have any anyhow, so I'll just offer hugs. The specific problems I've had with DD are different, but I imagine the worry and frustration are the same.

(((Hugs))) and I'll be thinking of you.

Take care of yourself. I'm glad to hear you and hubby are on the same page and can support each other.

--------------------
How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

Posts: 8322 | From: Columbus, OH | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Gibbie
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Gibbie     Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
Kids are hard. And I think the older they get the harder they get.

I know you're not really asking for advice, but I can't help but say what's really jumping out at me. I think your middle child is screaming for attention. Can you devote some one on one time with her on a regular basis? Some special mommy time that she doesn't have to share with her little sister and that you two can do something together? If dad can have daddy daughter time with her too it's probably even better. Bring it up totally unconnected to anything else so that she (and you) are not feeling like you're rewarding her for bad behavior. But I really think she just wants some special time. Maybe babying her a little wouldn't hurt. I'd bet that once she starts to feel better about things, that would stop.

Hang in there. [Smile]

Gibbie

--------------------
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Posts: 3993 | From: Indiana | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
AnglsWeHvHrdOnHiRdr
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


Icon 1 posted      Profile for AnglsWeHvHrdOnHiRdr     Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
Re: the ODD diagnosis: adolesence is nothing but an exercise in ODD, IMO and experience. I have a brother who was an instigator, but, when my other brother and I were old enough to take responsibility for our actions, we learned pretty quickly to ignore him or suffer the consequences as well.

--------------------
"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."--George Bernard Shaw

Posts: 19266 | From: Nashville, TN | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
tribrats
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


Icon 1 posted      Profile for tribrats   Author's Homepage   E-mail tribrats   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
Advise is always welcomed, I just also needed to vent my frustrations.

She was diagnosed with ADD in 2nd grade, was on meds then but they didn't help at all. Went through 3rd grade without meds but counseling. The counseling is continuing through the school (she's in 4th now).

I wish I could say this was something new but we have been dealing with some of these issues well before Abby was born.

We do try to make sure all the kids get some one-on-one. The grandparents and Aunts also take them individually. The 2 older get to help cook supper at least once a week each.

I know I made it sound like everything they do is tied to allowance but that is just the "daily chores" such as feeding the animals, putting away dishes, etc.

Lyss seems to work best if she has a list to work from. So each day I try to write down her chores. Except for the cats (her permanent chore), I rotate the kids through putting away dishes or clothes or whatever little chore they may have for that day.

These kids are very spoiled. Just not in the way of getting toys all the time. Lyss is very much a "Daddy's girl" and she knows it. And that may actually be part of the issue. He lets her get away with things he will never let the other 2 do. Abby is a "Mommy's girl" and Nate is, and alway has been more of a loner.

I know I'm not a perfect parent but I just don't know what else to try. No matter how many or how old your kids are, you are always still a first-time parent. I've never been a parent of a nearly 10 year old girl before. And to top it off, I suspect she is in the early stages of puberty (both puberty and menopause come early in my family).

--------------------
Snopes is moving! Here's snopes' announcement.
Come here to re-register!

Posts: 2448 | From: New Hampshire | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
noogies
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


Icon 1 posted      Profile for noogies   Author's Homepage   E-mail noogies       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
Hi, I am sorry for your problems with your older daughter, but you need to be a little bit stricter and show who is the boss! I have 3 kids.one daughter 18, and two sons 12 and 14, and you couldn't pay them to act out like that, even when they were younger.Don't get me wrong I never had to spank them because I guess it was just the sterness of my voice. I know you didn't ask for advice, but that is exactly what your letter is screaming out for. Right now today at the ages my ids are now they would not dare even look at me the wrong way. My daughter graduated high school in june 2006 and she is now in college for criminal justice, and both of my boys are honor roll students in school, and that's all because they know who the boss is. Good luck with your children, if it's not too late. Patti from Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 3 | From: Milwaukee, Wisconsin | Registered: Dec 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
happyholidaysfrog
Jingle Bell Hock


Icon 1 posted      Profile for happyholidaysfrog   Author's Homepage   E-mail happyholidaysfrog   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
If you don't mind a question, I'm wondering if at four your oldest daughter was willing to help like your four year old now is? I know that all my neices and nephews liked to help at four but at 8-9-10 they are over that and only want to help if it's fun(making cakes or cookies), and even then arn't as into cleaning up (though I do insist they help clean up).

I also agree that she sounds like she could use some emotional babying, and it should be unconnected with behavior, it shouldn't be taken away for bad behavior.

She definatly sounds like she wants/needs attention, best find out some way to help her baby herself by babying her emotionally. Giving her the right attention now might save her a lot of frustration later. Something as simple as setting aside an hour a week to make cookies or do a craft or whatever she is interested in might be the trick(then again it might not).

Also, try to give her good behavior more praise/attention then the bad. I've had a lot of luck with kids by giving praise and compliments where they are due and handleing bad behavior with as few words and as little attention as possible. State disaproval, state proper behavior or what the child needs to do to "fix" their misdeed, then try to redirect child as needed.

But I'm not a Mom and while I have worked with a lot of kids I know it's a different ballgame. You love your daughter to bits, and you are on the right path, keep venting as needed and seeking help and what you seek you will find. Take care of yourself as much as possible too, the healthier you are the more you can give your daughter.

I've got a really great book suggestion also called How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will tal by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. It's awesome. I learned a lot about how to communicate more clearly with adults also using some of the principles in the book.

--------------------
~All we see or seem is but a dream within a dream~
E.A.Poe

Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.
~James Dean~

Posts: 516 | From: Anderson, Indiana | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
tribrats
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


Icon 1 posted      Profile for tribrats   Author's Homepage   E-mail tribrats   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
Nathan was willing to help at 4 but Alyssa never did. She fought when it was time to clean up after playing. To the point that it became a battle of wills. It was like trying to get a brick wall to dance. Just getting her to take her dish to the sink from the table was/is a chore.

We do feel like we made some progress though. This is the first year that she does her homework.

Maybe I'm just asking to much of her. But I didn't feel that feeding/watering the cats and either putting away dishes or laundry was to much. After doing that, the afternoon is theirs.

She's been making snowflakes to hang but then refuses to pick up the bits of paper after. She would rather stand in timeout for hours (not that I do that) than to pick up her toys after playing with them.

--------------------
Snopes is moving! Here's snopes' announcement.
Come here to re-register!

Posts: 2448 | From: New Hampshire | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
pinqy
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


Icon 1 posted      Profile for pinqy   E-mail pinqy   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
Tribrats...in your post you compare Abby, age 4, favorably over Alyssa, age 9. While it's hardly representative of your whole interaction with the girls, Alyssa will have noticed any and all times you've ever done this. She'll also notice that you (rightfully) praise Abby for things which you do not praise Alyssa because they are new for Abby and praiseworthy for her age. Alyssa will not remember the praise she received for those things, only that Abby is getting praised for things that she is not. This is a classic basis of sibling envy. Remember, I'm not talking about reality, but how a 9 year old perceives things. "So then Lyss will get mad because she didn't get something and one of the other 2 did." And that's full stop for her at that age. They got something, and she didn't. That they earned it and she didn't isn't a part of her thinking.

So, in the exaggerated, pathos-laden mind of a 9-yr old, you like Abby better, praise her more often, give Abby more allowance/privelages, etc, etc. Of course she'll act out, especially at Abby. She feels that she's always in trouble, so she wants Abby to be in trouble too, and more often.

And the hard part is that in reality you are spending more time helping and praising Abby. She's four. But that's not important to Alyssa. So the trick is, that since things are not equal, you have to have it not equal more in Alyssa's favor. Right now they rotate chores...the problem with that is that puts them in direct comparison and that hurts a lot for a 9 year old to get compared unfavorably with a 4 year old. Her age and superior abilities due to experience aren't getting rewarded. Her chores should be ones that the younger kids are too young to do, and she receive a higher allowance in consequence. When praising Abby for something new or age appropriate and Alyssa is there, ask Lyssa if she remembers when she first did that. Include her in teaching Abby new things and enlist her in helping Abby out on the grounds that Lyssa is so good at it. Always emphasize Lyssa's role as big sister and role model. These are examples that may or may not be appropriate, but I think the theme is clear.

pinqy

--------------------
Don't Forget!
Winter Solstice Hanukkah Christmas Kwanzaa & Gurnenthar's Ascendance Are Coming!

Posts: 8671 | From: Washington, DC | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
TurquoiseGirl
The "Was on Sale" Song


Icon 1 posted      Profile for TurquoiseGirl   Author's Homepage     Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
I agree with pinqy actually. I was very much Daddy's girl when I was little. My mom didn't like me as much as a younger sibling and I certainly knew it (I'm seeing this played out again with my nieces and am just cringing).

For the record I did used to tell my little brother to bounce on the couch, and run and tattle. There is just a two year difference between us, but in my four or five year old brain it was nice to see him get in trouble for once.

My oldest niece is also involved in a constant search for a "diagnosis" to explain her behavior. The thing is that she is only ever given her mother's attention when she acts out.

Pinqy is right. In a nine year old mind, "fairness" is not consequence related. And for me, it seemed like the more I tried to behave like a big girl, the less attention I got from my mom (although your explanation of your interaction with your daughters may have given me an insight into why this happened-- she was busy, I was independent, she didn't perhaps feel that I needed attention).

Of course Alyssa is jealous of her younger sibling, given what you describe. And rightly so.

One thing my therapist said to me is that feelings of parental abandonment by children are perceived as death threats and they react disproportionately. My guess is that Alyssa is frightened. Of course I am probably projecting.

I also thought that this was particularly helpful:

quote:
So the trick is, that since things are not equal, you have to have it not equal more in Alyssa's favor. Right now they rotate chores...the problem with that is that puts them in direct comparison and that hurts a lot for a 9 year old to get compared unfavorably with a 4 year old. Her age and superior abilities due to experience aren't getting rewarded. Her chores should be ones that the younger kids are too young to do, and she receive a higher allowance in consequence. When praising Abby for something new or age appropriate and Alyssa is there, ask Lyssa if she remembers when she first did that. Include her in teaching Abby new things and enlist her in helping Abby out on the grounds that Lyssa is so good at it. Always emphasize Lyssa's role as big sister and role model. These are examples that may or may not be appropriate, but I think the theme is clear.
Reward her for more responsibility if you expect her to take more responsibility.

--------------------
There are people who drive really nice cars who feel that [those] cars won't be as special if other people drive them too. Where I come from, we call those people "selfish self-satisfied gits." -Chloe

Posts: 6995 | From: New Mexico | Registered: Oct 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
daisyslegs
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


Icon 1 posted      Profile for daisyslegs     Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
I am a parent that has had (and still do) the "problem child".

When my daughter was lashing out in a similar manner and we had reached the end of our ropes we did something that helped some ... for awhile at least.

She and I took a couple hours to ourselves, left the house and had a very frankly honest talk. No place "fun", just a drive and sit and watch the river kind of thing.

Getting out of the house provided a way to keep her full attention, no stomping off to her room kind of thing.

We discussed behaviors and trying to understand why, how it made each of us feel, my worries and hopes for her, and the same from her. We reviewed the rules and expectations and why they are enforced; what our responsibilities were as child/parent and all.

When we had both gotten to some common ground I offered her a truce and an opportunity to wipe the slate and start fresh; no longer grounded and ready to accept complete responsibility for her actions.

It was a very good thing for us both. You might try something like that.

I am certainly not saying it worked forever; she jumped on the "want to go live with Dad" wagon and decided the only way I was going to let that happen was if she pissed me off enough. [Roll Eyes] [Frown]

Best of luck to you all in this; I know how heart wrenching it can be. (((hugs)))

--------------------
~tough as nails yet nice as pie~
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction - and sometimes a scar.
"and don't threaten anyone with your pants today!" - Frog_Feathers
daisys does Myspace

Posts: 3206 | From: Molalla, OR | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
tribrats
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


Icon 1 posted      Profile for tribrats   Author's Homepage   E-mail tribrats   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
Pinqy, quick clarification, only Nate and Alyssa rotate chores. Abby's are more age appropriate. Other than that, I never thought of it in terms of what she must be seeing. Because homework was such a struggle in past years, she gets a great amount of praise when she does it. And she is finally asking me to help her or take my help when I offer instead of asking her father!

On the few and far between occasions Alyssa does do her chores without a struggle she gets flowing praise and appropriate consequences for it. Even when she gives a hard time, if she finishes or at least makes an honest effort she still gets praised for sticking with it and finishing.

I just got off the phone with the school counselor whom she has been seeing weekly for a couple years now (and has helped immensely). She has known Lyss for 5 years now and has agreed right along that there is something going on. ADD and bi-polar do run in the family. I have Adult ADD. It was me who pushed for no more diagnosis for the time being. She just got off a roller coaster of UTI's and meds for both that and ADD at that time. I didn't want her poked and prodded like I was at that age.

I guess I have a hard time thinking that she is jealous for my attention because she always would pass me by and run to Daddy (which I will admit did make me a tad jealous when she was little). She was Daddy's little girl right from the get-go. Just like I was with my Dad. To be honest, there were times I thought she didn't like me. But even Daddy has the same issues getting her to do anything. And she worships him.

--------------------
Snopes is moving! Here's snopes' announcement.
Come here to re-register!

Posts: 2448 | From: New Hampshire | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Jocko's Jolly
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Jocko's Jolly   E-mail Jocko's Jolly   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
I think part of what Lyssa is going through is just typical for the age and for having sublings. Pinqy's advice is right on the money. We give our kids allowances based on their grades in school (4th grader gets $4 a week, 1st grader gets $1, Kindergartner gets $.50). They share some chores, but eldest also has bigger chores (trash). Their penalty for not doing chores is to pay me, since in the "real world," they'd have to pay someone to do those things they aren't willing to do (clean, laundry, etc.). We make the eldest pay $.50 and the younger two pay $.25, since he understands the choice not to do chores more and I have to do more work to cover for his.

But he also gets Friday night movie night with us. He gets to stay up late with mom and dad and watch a movie that's too old for the younger two to watch. It's a great way to make him feel older and not lumped in with the other two all the time. He can lose movie night if he mouths off/disrespects us too much, but that's about the only reason. He also gets to sleep downstairs in the family room that night (which usually means that he manages some play time in the middle of the night as well).

When the other tow get old enough, we will probably start rotating movie night somehow, or combine them. But we always try to find some way to get some one on one time with them.

The eldest and the youngest also like to go with me if I run erands on the weekend, so I rotate between them. This usually involves getting lunch or a treat together when we're out, and I use it as an opportunity to communicate with them if there are any concerns.

Finally, we also try to make a point of praising age-appropriate behavior in the kids. For instance, DS#1 has really been stepping up to the plate recently, not as many temper meltdowns, helping me out without being asked, just generally being more responsible. So DH and I have each told him how proud we are of him. And he just BEAMS when we tell him this, so I think we've found the coin of the realm for him.

DS#2 on the other hand.... [Eek!]

--------------------
Like every good third-in-a-series it contains a whole load of ewoks, ‘Clubber’ Lang, whey-faced Sophia Coppola, Sean Connery as the Pirate Captain’s estranged dad, a crappy CGI alien, and Richard Pryor on a donkey. -- Gideon Defoe

Posts: 2211 | From: Harford County, MD | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
LyndaD
Jingle Bell Hock


Icon 1 posted      Profile for LyndaD   E-mail LyndaD   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
Middle children have it rough. I see a lot of similarities between your kids and mine, Tribrats. DS2 is 15, DD1 is 13 and DD2 is 11 (DS1 is 25 and out of the house). The 13 year old, Arianna, is very argumentative. She tells me that my telling her to do something makes her not want to do it. She also continually complains about her younger sister getting away with things, not having to do as much and generally being babied. She also complains about not being allowed to do what her older brother does, and not having the privileges he has.
I think part of it is her personality. Characteristics we saw in her as a toddler have only intensified as she moved though her tween years and now is a bona fide teenager. For example, tonight I took both girls to buy Secret Santa presents for school parties. Once there, Arianna wanted to buy cany to give to her friends. That in itself is no big deal, but the fact that she consistently expects me to purchase things without question or prior notice is. When I refused (because I've discussed this with her before, becuase I wil not allow her to control and manipulate me), she walked out of the store and went to the car. Because I know her, I didn't spend time looking for her in the store. Once at the car, I told her she was NOT to walk out without letting me know, and definitely not at night. I also told her that in the future if she walked out of a store like that, whatever purchases had been made for her would be returned to the store. We had a shouting match driving home about spendig money and my not trusting her, but when we got home everything settled down and was fine...until next time.

I agree that children's perception of fairness is more impotant to them than the actual reality of the fairness. There is only so much you can do to make her feel like you are treating her the same as the other children without shortchanging them or giving in to her more than is good for her.
The only advice i have is to be patient with her, enjoy and compliment her good qualities, and realize that she does have her own unique personality traits (some of which make her a difficult child) and help her learn to manage the more challenging aspects of her character.

--------------------
I'll drive it ugly. You can't see the paint job when you're behind the wheel, anyway.

Posts: 570 | From: Central Valley, California | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Zorro
Little Sales Drummer Boy


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Zorro     Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
I'm seven years older than my younger sister, and felt often like my mother liked her more than she liked me. Looking back now, I doubt that was true, [Wink] but my advice is what someone else said- spend some one-on-one time with her. Don't do anything fancy- take a walk, go for a drive, etc. That might be the best thing you can do for her right now. (If she behaves the same with you and hubby, have each of you do this once in a while.)

--------------------
"Seize the day! Make your lives extraordinary!"
-John Keating, "Dead Poets Society"

Posts: 2861 | From: New Jersey | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Monza305
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Monza305   E-mail Monza305   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
I feel your pain too Tri.

My 7 year old has been a complete pain in the ass, especially at school, for the past year. I was diagnosed with ADD when I was younger, and we are thinking it's the same with her. Some of the things she does, I remember doing too, but I was never disruptive. She received two referrals Friday alone, that's one more than I got in all my school years. She's also been suspended from school...she's only in second grade! We have a follow up appointment with the psycologist today, so hopefully we'll have some insight.

Sorry I have no advice either, but I have lots of hugs and good mojo to send your way.

--------------------
I've got a pen in my pocket does that make me a writer?
Standing on the mountain doesn't make me no higher.
Putting on gloves don't make you a fighter.
And all the study in the world doesn't make it science. -Paul Weller

Posts: 199 | From: Kalamazoo, MI | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
evilrabbit
Jingle Bell Hock


Icon 1 posted      Profile for evilrabbit   E-mail evilrabbit   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
It sucks being a middle child. It particularly sucks if you're a well-behaved, self-sufficient middle child with younger siblings who demand a great deal of attention. it's the kind of thing that almost, almost makes you want to cause some kind of huge drama just so people will remember you're still around...
But that's my own personal issues rearing their ugly heads again, not necessarily what's happening at your house.
Anyway, I agree that a little bit of one on one time can make a huge difference.

--------------------
"My sandwich choice is uncertain, until I actually order. It's like Schrodinger's Sandwich."
"Is plutonium involved in this sandwich in any way?"
"Maybe."

Posts: 496 | From: Whitby, ON, Canada | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
tribrats
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


Icon 1 posted      Profile for tribrats   Author's Homepage   E-mail tribrats   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
Thanks everyone. She has to stay home tomorrow because of strep. She doesn't feel sick but law says she can't go back to school until she's been on antibiotics for at least 24 hours. So while Abby is down for nap we are going to find something to do together.

--------------------
Snopes is moving! Here's snopes' announcement.
Come here to re-register!

Posts: 2448 | From: New Hampshire | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Jocko's Jolly
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Jocko's Jolly   E-mail Jocko's Jolly   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
Tribrats, if she's at all artistic, why don't the two of you make some christmas cards together for the teachers, classmates, her friends, etc. My kids love to do that (especially if it involves glitter glue!). I just print out some cards with a simple black and white graphic and let them color with crayons, markers, whatever. They have fun and their friends and classmates get something unique.

--------------------
Like every good third-in-a-series it contains a whole load of ewoks, ‘Clubber’ Lang, whey-faced Sophia Coppola, Sean Connery as the Pirate Captain’s estranged dad, a crappy CGI alien, and Richard Pryor on a donkey. -- Gideon Defoe

Posts: 2211 | From: Harford County, MD | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
tribrats
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


Icon 1 posted      Profile for tribrats   Author's Homepage   E-mail tribrats   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
That's not a bad idea. She learned in art class to make the cutest Santa by tracing her hand and making a face and hat on it.

--------------------
Snopes is moving! Here's snopes' announcement.
Come here to re-register!

Posts: 2448 | From: New Hampshire | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
happyholidaysfrog
Jingle Bell Hock


Icon 1 posted      Profile for happyholidaysfrog   Author's Homepage   E-mail happyholidaysfrog   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
Lynda D, I think that as long as you keep it fair, even though their perspective nowdoesn't let them see it, as they grow and mature most people realize what their parents went through raising them.

Seeing my two year old neice with the same high needs bulldozer personality as I have has helped me realize what a challenge parenting me as a child was for my parents. When I was a kid I didn't think things were fair AT ALL, but as an adult I can see that they were fair, I was just not happy because I wanted my way and wasn't getting it.

Just do right by your kids, put in earplugs or music to drown out the complaining and whining and fighting and remember that they will grow out of this, eventually.

--------------------
~All we see or seem is but a dream within a dream~
E.A.Poe

Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.
~James Dean~

Posts: 516 | From: Anderson, Indiana | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
LyndaD
Jingle Bell Hock


Icon 1 posted      Profile for LyndaD   E-mail LyndaD   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
Frog, I like the 'bulldozer' description. Arianna is intelligent, confident and strong-willed. She will make an amazing adult. The problems we have often stem from her thinking she is one now. This isn't something new with her because of the onset of puberty and junior high. She has, from the time she could talk, expressed her opinions and wants and expected them to be consedered and taken as seriously as an adults.
I have a friend who's 26 and says she was a lot like Arianna when she was a child, so I know there's hope, and that it will get better. Tribrats, you need to remember that, too; they do grow up!

--------------------
I'll drive it ugly. You can't see the paint job when you're behind the wheel, anyway.

Posts: 570 | From: Central Valley, California | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post new topic  Post a reply Close topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Urban Legends Reference Pages

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classic™ 6.7.2