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Reading Vesta's thread about her hubby's online indiscretions and some of the answers got me thinking - do you tell your SO everything? And if you don't, is that lying by ommission?
I have a great marriage, almost 15 years now, and my husband is my best friend. There's nothing I can't tell him - he's the first person I call when something good or bad happens to me. Except...
I travel for my job, quite frequently. And at conferences, I spend a lot of time at dinners and cocktail parties, and rarely do I not get hit on. I handle these in an effective manner, establish clear boundaries, and move on. I do not share these experiences with DH, mostly because I don't want him sitting at home worrying about me if I acknowledge the offers to him. They're not that big of a deal to me, but I imagine they'd be a big deal to him. I wouldn't dream of lying to him if he asked about it, but I don't volunteer.
He also has no idea about my online friends. I regularly PM folks here, both male & female, and some of those folks I feel quite close to and look to for advice or think "I gotta PM him/her about this great thing!", much like I'd call my best friend from high school and tell her. One of the first things I did after I found out my dad passed was hop on snopes and post about it - but that's not something DH even knows about.
A few years ago, I looked up my exH and called him to see how his life had turned out. Not because I had any intent to respark a flame - he was an abusive alcoholic - but because I truly hoped that he'd been able to make positive changes in his life and, well, grow up. I didn't tell DH about that, either.
On Thanksgiving weekend, my ex-boyfriend from 17 years ago looked me up and we talked for 2 hours about what we were both doing in life, and about what happened with people that we knew from back then. Again, I didn't tell DH.
So, are there others out there that don't tell all to their SO? What kinds of things don't you tell about?
-------------------- "The little local company I buy from has CHEAP shipping and I have met their goats." (snapdragonfly)
"And that's one lost erection I'll never get back! You hear me Dan! I'm owed an erection!" (I'mNotDedalus) Posts: 2658 | From: California | Registered: Jul 2005
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I'm sure I don't tell him everything. However, I can't think of anything I've consciously kept to myself because I didn't want him to know. If anything, it's that I just don't think it's important enough to mention or forget about it myself for the same reason. He even knows all about my crush on a mutual male friend.
-------------------- "You're the opposite of troll. It's a compliment!" Posts: 12086 | From: Alberta | Registered: Feb 2000
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My response would be very similar to Jenn's (as another datapoint). Since it doesn't happen very often (less than once in a blue moon), I would tell my SO about any passes that someone made towards me.
Other than the crush on a mutual male friend...
-------------------- And now for something completely different... Posts: 4164 | From: Alabama | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Jenn: I'm sure I don't tell him everything. However, I can't think of anything I've consciously kept to myself because I didn't want him to know. If anything, it's that I just don't think it's important enough to mention or forget about it myself for the same reason. He even knows all about my crush on a mutual male friend.
This is about my outlook. Obviously I don't tell the hubby "everything" because, well there's a lot of everything that goes on in a day and only so much time to discuss it. But if I were to consiously decide "this is something I won't tell him about" that is when we get into lying by omission.
Posts: 96 | From: Attleboro, MA | Registered: Nov 2006
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Actually, not only do I tell him if someone makes a pass at me (which I'm not sure has actually ever happened now that I think about it), he tells me if he notices someone checking me out.
-------------------- "You're the opposite of troll. It's a compliment!" Posts: 12086 | From: Alberta | Registered: Feb 2000
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I tell DH just about everything. I don't purposly keep anything from him. There are things he may not hear about, but that's only because they were boring things.
We both tell each other about passes someone has made, it's funny. We laugh about it.
He knows that Snopes is important to me, and that I come here when I need to vent or to LAM a bit. I don't have a huge amount of IRL friends and some days I just need to shout things out or have a little help working things out, and I come here. He also hears about everyone here.
If I were to contact an old flame, or if one somehow found me (I'm not so easy to find), DH would know all about it. Keeping something like that from him would be really dishonest. We respect each other enough to tell each other everything, neither of us would disrespect the other by hiding something like that.
Posts: 1359 | From: Akron, Ohio | Registered: Aug 2005
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I tell my husband pretty much everything, usually because I have an overwhelming, keen sense of guilt. Even if I don't have anything to feel guilty about, I do. For example, in our household, I do most of the housekeeping. That's just the way it is. When hubby volunteers to sweep the floors or do the dishes while I am on the computer or on the couch, I feel guilty about not doing it myself. Even though I am 100% certain that he doesn't feel guilty when I'm folding laundry or scooping the catbox and he's on the couch.
I'm not sure where that comes from, because it's been there ever since I can remember. I've worked on it, and it's not as bad as it used to be, but I still feel it. About 6 months after we started seeing each other, I went out with some friends that were in from out of town while he stayed at home. I took my (male) friend back to his hotel, and when we hugged goodbye, he tried to kiss me (he was really drunk.) And then repeatedly tried to get me to come into his room. I was firm in my refusal and nothing happened. I did tell my husband about that. I had to wrestle with it for a while before I decided to tell him, mostly wondering what good it would accomplish (none, by the way, but nothing bad came of me telling him either) but ultimately I did. I didn't want it coming out later, or him to hear about it from someone else and then wonder why I didn't tell him.
I decided I didn't want to start out hiding things, because when you start, you wonder where it stops. You wonder 'if they were keeping that stupid little thing from me, what else are they hiding?' Or at least I would.
We regularly are on the computer at home together at the same time, so he sees who I'm emailing, and I see what he's doing... I guess we really don't have anything to hide from each other. On the flip side though, he totally respects my privacy, and if I wanted to keep secrets, I probably could. We had the 'honesty discussion' early on in our relationship, and decided that we would be as open with each other as possible. I am actually amazed that I trust my husband as much as I do. Not because of anything he's done, but because of what other boyfriends did. It took a lot for me to move past that particular set of baggage and realize that no, my husband is not any of my ex-boyfriends.
-------------------- 'I'm the decider... I decide what's best.' Posts: 403 | From: Branson, Missouri | Registered: Nov 2004
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Do I tell my husband everything? You betcha'! Everything I think he needs to know, that is.
Whether or not to tell about a person's making a pass depends on the situation, but I haven't had to worry about that lately.
I did tell him about his best "friend"'s making a pass at me - a rather insistent pass, in fact. It was before we got married, but this "friend" was married and knew we were dating. After we got married, he'd show up on Saturday mornings to visit, and I'd give him the cold shoulder. My husband thought I was rather rude, but I saw no point in stirring things up. The kicker was when he showed up one evening, wife in tow. What kind of nerve did that take? There I sat, expected to be a gracious hostess to uninvited company, in the same room with this woman - who had no idea that her husband was a cheating jerk and who loved him very much - and with my husband - who had no idea that his best "friend" almost tried to rape his then girlfriend, now wife. Would you call that "attempted rape?" Anyway, after they left, I told my husband about it and, strangely enough, the "friend" stopped coming to visit. With or without his wife. I wonder why. Tee hee hee
-------------------- "This air we're breathing. Oxygen, isn't it?"~I’mNotDedalus, impersonating Vincent D’Onofrio.|"Sometimes trying to communicate can be like walking through a minefield."~wanderwoman "Give people a break. It's not easy doing a life."~Joshua Halberstam Posts: 4020 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Nov 2005
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During our last watching of Love, Actually my husband requested that I shared a little less with him about the depths of my lust for Mr. Colin Firth.
I do not tell him everything; such a thing is not possible, as we lead separate professional lives and are individually active, as well. I don't think he needs a running commentary on my morning commute or what I had for lunch or what I did during my day...
I am attempting to save him from dying from boredom.
-------------------- "When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."--George Bernard Shaw Posts: 19266 | From: Nashville, TN | Registered: Jun 2002
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If I had someone making a pass at me that persisted beyond my capabilities to diffuse it quickly and neatly, then I would tell DH, but that's only happened a couple of times. And the reason I tell him is because I would end up, much like SDD, avoiding that person in the future completely and if I couldn't then I would be very cold to them, and therefore I would feel the need to explain it to DH. But if I've already taken care of it between me and that person, I don't feel the need to stir it all up with DH. I don't know if that's dishonest or not - I make a conscious choice not to tell him immediately after and then I forget about the incident all together.
On contacting/being contacted by old flames, I'm probably way on the wrong side of right & wrong, and I know that. Sometimes I do tell him, but mostly I don't when I most probably should.
-------------------- "The little local company I buy from has CHEAP shipping and I have met their goats." (snapdragonfly)
"And that's one lost erection I'll never get back! You hear me Dan! I'm owed an erection!" (I'mNotDedalus) Posts: 2658 | From: California | Registered: Jul 2005
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DW and I do not share absolutely everything with each other. Is this because we are trying to conceal things? No, it is simply a matter of things being inane or mundane enough that they just simply do not need to be mentioned.
-------------------- Where are we going, and why are we in this handbasket? Posts: 782 | From: Arlington, TX | Registered: Jul 2005
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I tell my husband everything he wants to know and sometimes I over-share on the medical side. He doesn't want to know all the details- he just wants to know if I'm "sick" or "not sick" or "fixable".
He knows about my online life and he really doesn't care. His theory on that is: "If she's on the computer, then she's not talking to me..." and he goes back to his NASCAR/John Wayne/action movie/Battlestar Gallactica marathon.
I do share with him things from message boards- not like he cares- especially when I start it off with: "Hey, [insert screen name] from snopes says...."
I don't get hit on hardly ever, so when it happens its an event. And usually, I'm creeped out by it because who the heck hits on an overweight housewife?
But, we've been married for 20 years.
-------------------- "Is it ME? Am I a MAGNET for these idiots?"~Pearl Forrester MST3K Die-Hard Engineers, Big Red One my Dad's website "Must be a 'snopes' thing..." ~my entire family when I try to explain something. Posts: 4524 | From: South of Madison, Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005
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Hubby is kind of hopeless about communication. I've tried many times. Sometimes he's really good. Sometimes, it's like English is a 4th language to him. But I know that he would not knowingly deceive me about something serious.
I'm a communicator. However, I do not tell my husband everything, because if I did, I would never stop talking... and a good 97% or more of it wouldn't be worth hearing about anyway. However, when it comes to anything even close to anything leading up to an indiscretion, we talk about it.
Like maybe I'll joke. "It's too bad that so-and-so is married. He's yummalicious!" Hubby will say, "Hon... you're married too." Me: "DARNIT! Always with the fundamental flaw to my plans!"
But hubby's in the situation where his ex-wife was amazingly unfaithful to him, he knows how that hurts, and he would never do that to another person. I'm not ambitious enough... nor do I like sex enough... to run around. I might look at a hottie and have the fleeting "yum, yum, gimme some" thought... and it's over before it's begun. So since infidelity is pretty much a non-issue between us, we talk about other things... him about computers and techie stuff, and me about the kids and crap that really bothers me.
-------------------- They just don't make crazed, beserk robots like they used to. --Sheen Estevez, Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius
If I manage to post something swipe-worthy that you would like to make your sig, you may do so with my blessing. Posts: 2486 | From: East Stroudsburg, PA | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by FrogFeathers: I tell my husband everything he wants to know and sometimes I over-share on the medical side. He doesn't want to know all the details- he just wants to know if I'm "sick" or "not sick" or "fixable".
He knows about my online life and he really doesn't care. His theory on that is: "If she's on the computer, then she's not talking to me..." and he goes back to his NASCAR/John Wayne/action movie/Battlestar Gallactica marathon.
I do share with him things from message boards- not like he cares- especially when I start it off with: "Hey, [insert screen name] from snopes says...."
I don't get hit on hardly ever, so when it happens its an event. And usually, I'm creeped out by it because who the heck hits on an overweight housewife?
But, we've been married for 20 years.
I am so with your husband on that. I don't need to, want to hear the medical details beyond sick, doctor fix.
-------------------- Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish Posts: 2036 | From: Virginia | Registered: Jul 2002
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the standard reply similar to Jenn's minus the mutual male friend.
In fact, the only reason I am even posting is that a very good friend called me on Sunday, needing to tell me a "major secret" (too much drama!) and told me I had to swear not to tell anyone, even Mr. Legs.
I refused that one straight up, telling her I don't hide things from him, so she had to deal with it on those terms. She did.
-------------------- ~tough as nails yet nice as pie~ For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction - and sometimes a scar. "and don't threaten anyone with your pants today!" - Frog_Feathers daisys does Myspace Posts: 3206 | From: Molalla, OR | Registered: Jun 2004
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When I have a friend who tells me not to tell Mr. Roadie, I don't 99% of the time. The only time I would is if it something that he needs to know, and then I doubt anyone would tell me about it anyway.
That made no sense, but I know what I meant, I swear!
-------------------- "The little local company I buy from has CHEAP shipping and I have met their goats." (snapdragonfly)
"And that's one lost erection I'll never get back! You hear me Dan! I'm owed an erection!" (I'mNotDedalus) Posts: 2658 | From: California | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Roadie: When I have a friend who tells me not to tell Mr. Roadie, I don't 99% of the time. The only time I would is if it something that he needs to know, and then I doubt anyone would tell me about it anyway.
Unless it's a surprise present, if someone tells me not to tell CatNip something then I tell them I don't want to know.
Four Kitties
-------------------- If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? Posts: 13275 | From: Kindergarten World, Massachusetts | Registered: Jul 2003
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After years of "...But don't tell your Mother/Father/Aunt/Uncle/Cousin/Etc." I swore I would never have a relationship like that. I tell him everything. But I also have a policy of not saying something behind someone's back that I wouldn't say to their face. So they kinda tie it together. My family and friends know that if they don't want Hubby to know it, don't tell me. That way I don't have to worry about slipping up and saying the wrong thing if something is bothering me and I mention it to Hubby.
There have been and I'm sure will always be things I may forget to mention but it's not intentional. And I think our openness is part of why in 12 1/2 years of marriage we have only had 2 serious (as in ready to throw it all in) fights.
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I also have this nifty little hitch that Mr. Roadie is an employee of the agency that I am an elected official of, so there are lots of administrative/political/legal situations that I can't tell him about. It gets dicey in the Roadie house during labor negotiations!
-------------------- "The little local company I buy from has CHEAP shipping and I have met their goats." (snapdragonfly)
"And that's one lost erection I'll never get back! You hear me Dan! I'm owed an erection!" (I'mNotDedalus) Posts: 2658 | From: California | Registered: Jul 2005
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Rhiandmoi
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
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I think there are things that people tell me that are none of El Marido's business. Sometimes I think they are none of my business frankly, but my friends want to vent and I am a good listener. If my friend, as an example, is having a hard time getting her hubby in the mood, I don't share that with him because that is a private matter that he doesn't need to know about. Heck I don't even need to know about it, but I treat those kinds of conversations with my friends as free therapy and since that makes me the therapist that stuff is confidential. I expect, and get, the same discretion from them.
-------------------- I think that hyperbole is the single greatest factor contributing to the decline of society. - My friend Pat.
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I tell my husband a lot of things. I think the only things I don't divulge are the intimate details of my first marriage, which he doesn't care to know, anyway. Otherwise, it's all fair game. I don't keep much from him.
I think I get into oversharing from time to time. It's a habit I get from my mother. She and J once had a lengthy discussion about side effects of her chemo. Later that week, I was trying to explain to him delicately why we couldn't go visit her one day, and he said, "Oh, is it because of her hemmrhoids acting up again?" So yeah, not only do I tell him everything, but so does my mother!
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The only things I don't tell my beloved bride are about presents... because it doesn't matter WHAT the attempted lie is about, she can tell when I try it.
Luckily, the only things I've tried to lie about are presents. November 1st to December 27th just SUCK for me.
-------------------- Opinions aren't excuses to remain ignorant about subjects, nor are they excuses to never examine one's beliefs & prejudices...
Babies are like tattoos. You see other peoples' & they're cool, but yours is never as good & you can't get rid of it. Posts: 5622 | From: Jax, Florida | Registered: Nov 2003
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I don't have anything to hide from my hubby, but I don't tell him everything. Of course, I'm a stay at home mom, so most of the things I could tell him would be about how many dirty diapers I changed, how much the baby spit-up, homework issues, and such. He doesn't really want to be bothered with the mundane stuff even if he decides on a regular basis to come home and tell me all about staining, painting, and chisling. (Did I spell that right?) I don't particularly care to hear about those things, but I nod my head and smile pleasantly while I mentally note the things I have left to do before bed.
The only things I don't tell him about are gifts for him and things that my friends confide in me that have nothing to do with him. (Like one of my friends confiding that they still have feelings for their ex or something) He doesn't really care anyway and witholding that information won't affect our marriage in any way.
Back when I was still skinny (two kids ago) I would tell him if some guy hit on me. Like Tzarina, we laugh about it. Now, no one hits on me so it's a non-issue.
He also knows all about my board addiction. Posts: 24 | From: Colorado | Registered: Dec 2006
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I tell the SO almost everything. There *are* conversations that I have with friends that I don't feel that the SO needs to know, such as one of my friends' confession that he has erectile problems or another of my friends who has a really big crush on a guy who thinks of her as a friend. These are not secrets that affect the way SO and I interact with each other, and I feel that I would be breaking confidence with my friends for no reason if I told the SO.
As for people making passes at me--I tell him sometimes, mainly to flatter his ego that he has a woman that others want to hit on. He knows I have a huge crush on a friend of ours that I flirt with constantly, and he takes it with good grace, mainly because he has female friends who he does the same with.
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I keep some of my time as "me" time... I reserve a small amount of privacy for myself, as does Mrs Sal. Most of my private space is actually here -- Mrs Sal has some sort of online diary that she writes in from time to time. She doesn't visit snopes and I don't read her diary.
This is healthy for us, if we were forced to share absolutely everything I think we'd strangle each other. Or perhaps it's just me and my "single child syndrome"... I enjoy my privacy and time alone. That said, it's not exactly like I'm doing anything exciting in my private space.
Like when just before I got married my friends dragged me off on the prerequisite Buck's Night. Although hardly outrageous it did involve being dragged into one adult store and being handed a bunch of $2 coins to go look at the stripper behind the coin-operated window. There was also the private performance they ponied up the cash for... which I think was more eye-opening than erotic (the casualness and somewhat disaffected look she had "Hmmm... I got this guy and one more then I'm on break!" was something that stuck with me). Upon arriving home at some ungodly hour, reeking of alcohol, I proceeded to tell Mrs Sal pretty much everything that happened.
I shared that mostly because I figured she'd want to know and be slightly jealous. I was right... to this day she's still at me to take her somewhere so that she can get a lapdance.
-------------------- "victory thru self-deception" Posts: 2211 | From: Western Australia | Registered: Jun 2005
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Me and the Monstress don't have any secrets. We know most things about each others life. Of course, I don't go telling her in detail everything I do at work and she doesn't give me a complete rundown of her day at school, unless something interesting has happened. But everything else is an open book. She knows of my past, which at times was troubled and at times adventurous. She is my best friend. We trust each other 100%.
The only exception I make to the rule is when someone tells me something in private and asks me to keep it to myself. I will always honor that.
-------------------- You're saying "Long Live Rock n Roll!" not "Let's go home and drink a beer" Posts: 43 | From: Belgium | Registered: Nov 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Roadie: I travel for my job, quite frequently. And at conferences, I spend a lot of time at dinners and cocktail parties, and rarely do I not get hit on. I handle these in an effective manner, establish clear boundaries, and move on. I do not share these experiences with DH, mostly because I don't want him sitting at home worrying about me if I acknowledge the offers to him. They're not that big of a deal to me, but I imagine they'd be a big deal to him. I wouldn't dream of lying to him if he asked about it, but I don't volunteer.
During my last relationship, I only got hit on once that I was clearly aware of - but it was a doozy. I was at a bar in Manila (where I'd gone for a grad school interview) for dinner. There were three women hanging out there who were apparently regulars, and the entire time I was eating, they took turns sitting in the chair opposite mine to chat with me while the other two, well, rubbed my back and shoulders. When I moved to Asia I was told that happened to guys with American passports all the time, but it doesn't usually happen on that level!
Nothing more serious came of it, but I probably let it go farther than I should have as it is. When I got home, I told my then-SO that I'd been hit on "pretty hard," but I spared her the details of just how hard.
-------------------- Another lifetime I'd have fallen in love with you Swept away by my feelings, ashamed and confused But just now it's enough to be walking with you Let the mystery play as it will! -Lui Collins Posts: 2669 | From: Jouy en Josas, France | Registered: May 2005
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DH and I are open about nearly everything. The one thing I don't talk to him much about is the state of our finances. This is appalling to some people, but I have good reason.
DH has an inferiority complex about money. If things get a little tight, he will worry himself into panic attacks which are terrifying. He will think he is worthless. He attaches his worth as a human being to his ability to provide. There is no need to put him through that, because he really is a super guy.
I handle all of the money matters, he doesn't ask. Works for us. He does have his own hide-away fund that I don't ask him about.
Posts: 544 | From: Onalaska, WI | Registered: Nov 2005
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I tell everything to my SO, I ran into an exgf one day, didn't even talk, just walked past each other, (this was about a month after we got married) I called my wife as soon as it happened because I know she'd want to know. mundane day-to-day stuff isn't shared, but come on who wants to know that I replaced a motherboard today, or that I solved a big problem last week that's been plaguing the company I work for for a year?
It's not important. just like I don't need to know how many times my son got fed, or how much he slept? or whatever. it's mundane daily stuff that's taken for read as having happened. details are unimportant, we both did our jobs, and that's good. if she did something spectacular, or something out of the ordinary, (like a friend dropping off a stuffed Tigger for him, ) that's news worthy. she can't keep anything from me anyway, and I can't keep anything from her. I was planning a surprise for our one year anniversary, and I've started planning it out now, (part of the surprise comes in a pretty blue box...) and I couldn't even keep that from her. She can read me like a book. so I don't bother lying. it's energy best spent elsewhere.
Posts: 153 | From: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada | Registered: Dec 2004
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My SO and I are best friends and share everything. I think he would even enjoy hearing about someone making a pass at me! Like Jenn, he certainly likes pointing out if a guy is "checking me out." We also tell each other about all flirting and know about each other's internet friends. I don't think it necessarily is bad to hide things, just depends on the couple. DH and I would not be comfortable in that, but for others it may be a better route.
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MD and I pretty much tell each other everthing. Like everyone else, the mundane stuff doesn't always get mentioned. Sometimes I can be dense and not notice something "important" that should be shared, but its pretty rare.
There are the little white lies I suppose. She doesn't comment on how big my gut has gotten, even though I know I'm overweight. She knows that the occasional 'dog's night out' happens, and she really doesn't want to know the details of who got how many lap dances, etc.
I know she has online friends she talks to. The only online friends I have are either the same ones she has or the few I know from my fishing/boating websites.
But in fairness, I don't really get jealous either. If she gets hit on I just think it's amusing. If she makes a comment about how hot the plumber was trying to get my goat I just tell her, "just make sure to get pictures or videotape if anything happens."
We don't really talk about our preferences in 'adult entertainment' because we know each others web habits and aren't turned on by each other's kinks. For the most part, we'd rather not hear about them from each other.
As far as ME getting hit on, well it's been a very, very long time since that's happened and I didn't even recognize it was happening last time. MD insists the waitress was practically 'throwing herself' at me, but I honestly did not even remotely notice and I am fairly certain it was simply a play for a better tip. I'm used to that.
There are certain inner thoughts, etc. I keep to myself, but that is pretty normal I think. Sometimes I am disturbed by the way my mind works and so I'm fairly sure NO one else needs to know about those kinds of thoughts.
-------------------- "Sometimes it will be fluffy bunnies and cotton candy. Sometimes it will be napalm and defoliants. Sometimes it is roasted bunnies." -Rhiandmoi Posts: 627 | From: San Antonio, TX | Registered: Oct 2002
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I tell my fiance pretty much everything, whether he wants to hear it or not:) Many a day i come home and whine about work. He often used to get hit on when he went out on boys nights and i would tell him the same when i went out on girls nights. He also used to have girls hit on him when i was there with him. We both find it quite amusing. The only thing i hide sometimes is when i'm feeling a bit down, because i don't want him to worry about me.
-------------------- Love is a sudden revelation: a kiss is always a discovery Posts: 902 | From: Australia | Registered: Dec 2005
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DH has an inferiority complex about money. If things get a little tight, he will worry himself into panic attacks which are terrifying. He will think he is worthless. He attaches his worth as a human being to his ability to provide. There is no need to put him through that, because he really is a super guy.
I handle all of the money matters, he doesn't ask. Works for us.
Things in our house are the same- for the same reasons.
Besides the intimate details of our financial situation, there is nothing I don't tell him. I am sure there have been situations where I told him more than he felt he needed to know (about my past), but I felt it was important that he understand me completely, and understand how/why I am who I am today.
-------------------- "My Very Educated Mother Just Said Uh-oh! No...Pluto..."~ Steven Colbert Posts: 3256 | From: Somewhere in Ohio | Registered: Apr 2004
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I tell my SO anything that is important and don't hide anything if she asks about something. The problem is that what I think is important my not be what she thinks is important. We do not hide things from each other but we may not tell something just because it was not relivent or the other most likely would not care about it.
If my wife does catch me on one of those adult boards, wich she does every so often. She usally sits down and back seat types. She enjoys them as well, but her english typing skills are almost none.
Posts: 597 | From: Bellingham, WA | Registered: Nov 2005
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I rarely tell anyone anything unless they ask, unless it's something they might be particularly interested in (I realise that my online persona makes this hard to believe, but it's true). It just seems rude to witter on about myself if the other person hasn't expressed interest. So there are lots of things that aren't precisely secrets, but that SO doesn't know about. I don't mind that, but it would be nice to be asked about things a bit more often.
-------------------- ~~Ai am in mai prrrrrraime!~~ Posts: 10111 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Sep 2004
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