posted
Yep, the title pretty much says it all. My dear cat, Jack, died yesterday. I found him the basement looking like he was asleep. No warning, no illness, not injury, he just died and he was only 3. He is the only animal I have ever bonded with so closely. I am crushed, but feeling stupid for being so torn up over a cat.
I decided not to have an autopsy as the vet would not return his body to me if I had that done. It is more important to me to bury him close to his home. I even made him a tombstone, to make his the only marked pet grave in our yard. And I miss him terribly. I keep expecting him to come through the cat door any minute now.
-------------------- If you don't cry it isn't love If you don't cry then you just don't feel it deep enough Posts: 238 | From: Ireland | Registered: Jan 2006
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-------------------- Nico Sasha In between my father's fields;And the citadels of the rule; Lies a no-man's land which I must cross; To find my stolen jewel. Posts: 4912 | From: VA | Registered: Jul 2003
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No reason to feel stupid. Cats have character and personality and they make so many small moments special. They do some half-assed stunt and then act like they meant to do it all along. They find the warmest spot in the room and they'll fight you for it. Go ahead and grieve; it's right.
Posts: 4811 | From: Austin, TX | Registered: Feb 2000
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I really am most terribly sorry - that must have been the most awful shock for you and you didn't get the chance to say goodbye. I'm sorry for your loss and wish you well.
-------------------- "You watched it. You can't UNWATCH it." Posts: 1646 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2003
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I am so sorry about your kitty, BeachLife. What a shock it must have been for you.
-------------------- "But I'm adding this to my reasons why I never really liked really good looking men much. Sheesh, what good is good looking if you have to stuff a sock in his mouth." - Sara at home NFBSK, IIRC and other mysterious Snopester language Posts: 851 | From: Indiana | Registered: Dec 2004
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No need for feeling stupid. We cried like babies when our cat died- made the vet and his assistant cry too.
(((hugs)))
-------------------- "Is it ME? Am I a MAGNET for these idiots?"~Pearl Forrester MST3K Die-Hard Engineers, Big Red One my Dad's website "Must be a 'snopes' thing..." ~my entire family when I try to explain something. Posts: 4524 | From: South of Madison, Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005
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-------------------- And if she says come inside I'll come inside for her. If she says give it all I'll give everything to her. I am justified. I am purified. I am sanctified. Inside you Posts: 695 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Mar 2004
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Oh, I'm so sorry, Beach. It's so sad when our kitties die. We just miss them, you know? It's okay to be sad about it.
-------------------- "Wolves, dragons and vampires, man. Draw the nut-bars like big ol' nut-bar magnets." ~evilrabbit
(snurched because one of my nutbar family members is all about wolves and another one is all about dragons...)(with apologies to surfcitydogdad) Posts: 2397 | From: Texarkana, TX | Registered: Mar 2006
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Aw, geez, Beach ... I'm so sorry. And like others have said, don't feel stupid. It's entirely normal to be that attached to the little balls of fur.
-------------------- Come on, come on - spin a little tighter Come on, come on - and the world's a little brighter Posts: 5595 | From: Columbus, OH : The Soccer Capital of America | Registered: Sep 2002
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You should not feel stupid over your emotional reaction. Some of my deepest emotional bonds have been (and are) with my animal friends. (And a hug from Hamish TinkerCat is one of the best things in the world.)
-------------------- "I'm not Irish, I'm Celtic. The difference? Celts cut off your head and put it on their door lintel." --Aimee Evilpixie "People are bastard-covered bastards with bastard filling."--Scrubs Posts: 269 | From: Oregon | Registered: Apr 2006
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Thanks to everyone. I am just stunned by this and the grief is far worse than I ever expected. Probably because I never got to say goodbye, and probably because I feel like if I'd found him earlier I might have saved him. I just always planned to grow old with that cat, and it never occured to me that he wouldn't be there. I have already planned to make sure he has a shrine for a grave. It will be the most elaborate and cared for cat grave on the planet, or at least in the city.
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Beach, I'm so sorry. Of course it's natural to mourn a creature who was so much a part of your live. I like your idea of a cat shrine.
-------------------- How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black Posts: 8322 | From: Columbus, OH | Registered: Aug 2005
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ETA: no need to feel stupid. You lost your best friend and confidant. Hell when I had to take my first Doberman in for the last time back in 1994, I was physically sick for 3-4 days. Grieve in your own way and take your own time.
-------------------- Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!! Posts: 4771 | From: The Berkeley of the East Coast: Montgomery County MD | Registered: Mar 2003
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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
posted
quote:Originally posted by BeachLife: I am crushed, but feeling stupid for being so torn up over a cat.
There's nothing dumb about that. I've always bonded with the cats I've had, and have felt a loss when we had to give them away or they died. They are your friend; they might not talk, but they're always around. Loss is normal.
Sorry to hear about it, Beach. That just sucks.
-------------------- People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril) Posts: 8429 | From: New York run by the Swiss (Toronto) | Registered: Mar 2005
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I'm so sorry. But don't feel guilty or beat yourself up about anything. There was nothing for you to do, and this wasn't your fault. Just try and think about all the good kitty memories, and know that Jack had a great life with you!
-------------------- you can't fight biology... Posts: 301 | From: New York | Registered: Sep 2005
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Poor Beach. Please don't feel stupid for being so torn up over a cat. It just proves you are human and have normal emotions. Jack was more than just a cat. He was your buddy.
**big kitty hugs**
-------------------- "This air we're breathing. Oxygen, isn't it?"~I’mNotDedalus, impersonating Vincent D’Onofrio.|"Sometimes trying to communicate can be like walking through a minefield."~wanderwoman "Give people a break. It's not easy doing a life."~Joshua Halberstam Posts: 4020 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Nov 2005
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I'm so sorry to hear. Greiving is healthy, so, like others have said, don't feel stupid about it. From my shelter experiance, there are too many people who try too hard not to grieve (immediatly getting a new cat, etc) and it just makes them feel worse in the end.
-------------------- "I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, EVIL stuff... and I want in."- Homer Simpson Posts: 2161 | From: Delaware | Registered: Aug 2005
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It doesn't matter that he was a cat, it only matters that he was your friend. As many people will attest, cats can make really great friends. You confront your true feelings about that little friend at times like this. Only people who have never had a similar friend will fail to understand your sadness.
Posts: 16 | From: Minneapolis, MN | Registered: Aug 2006
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Beachlife, I am truely sorry for the loss of your friend. I know how close I am with mine, though I never thought I was that much of a cat person.
It is devistating to imagine it happening so suddenly like that to such a young one. Is there no clue as to why? Nothing at all?
-------------------- ~tough as nails yet nice as pie~ For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction - and sometimes a scar. "and don't threaten anyone with your pants today!" - Frog_Feathers daisys does Myspace Posts: 3206 | From: Molalla, OR | Registered: Jun 2004
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No reason at all to feel stupid about missing your cat. **hugs**
-------------------- "My name is the symbol for my identity and must not be lost." Motto of the Lucy Stone League. Posts: 1815 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jul 2004
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BeachLife, I'm sorry for your loss. Just because they have four legs instead of two doesn't make them any less loved.
-------------------- "But about the reindeer...what kind of a nose shines? How did he get it? Maybe it's not a reindeer after all. It could be something else." Posts: 2216 | From: Winston-Salem, NC | Registered: Nov 2003
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Ah, I'm sorry, Beach. And I'd be more concerned if you didn't grieve for your buddy. When my kitty Admiral had to be put down at only 13, I was devastated and didn't get another cat for over a year. Hugs to poor Jack and to you.
-------------------- "No Biblical hell could ever be worse than the state of perpetual inconsequence." Beatrice in Dangerous Beauty Posts: 1816 | From: Cayuga County, NY | Registered: Nov 2005
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Beach, please accept my heartfelt condolences on the loss of your dear friend. I agree with those advising you that it's not stupid to grieve for your cat, and I encourage you to honor him in your memory and with your planned shrine. Feel sad, but please don't burden yourself further feeling that you might have been able to save him. You were a good friend.
-------------------- "The Potato Festival will never be the same without Evelena." (from an obituary in the Charleston, WV, Gazette) Posts: 215 | From: living here in Allentown, PA | Registered: Nov 2005
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Beach, you have my deepest sympathies. About a year ago at this time we lost our Jack. He was a real buddy and one of the best cats we ever had. Your emotions are a natural part of losing a good friend. I know that I cried when Jack died. Grieve for him as you would any friend.
-------------------- You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons. -Blazing Saddles Posts: 1074 | From: High Level, Alberta, Canada | Registered: Mar 2006
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Oh Beach, I'm so sorry to hear that. As everyone else has said there's northing wrong with being upset about losing Jack. He was a big part of your life, it's normal to feel the loss.
Noemi
-------------------- Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult. My blog, no guarantees about witty or intelligent content. My current projects. Coveted Beads <---- our eBay store, new items being added somewhat regularly Posts: 8418 | From: Wyoming | Registered: Feb 2002
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Beach, I am so very sorry for your loss. *hugs*
-------------------- Come on, come on, we were once upon a time in love If the only prayer you say in your life is thank you, that would suffice. - Meister Eckhart My Blog Posts: 7725 | From: Columbus, Ohio | Registered: Nov 2000
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Beach, I'm sorry to hear that. As you know, we lost a kitty some time back, and we're still missing her. Best wishes.
-------------------- "No hard feelin's and HOPpy New Year!"--Walt Kelly Hear what you're missing: ARTC podcasts! http://artcpodcast.org/ Posts: 7581 | From: Gainesville, Georgia | Registered: Jun 2000
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Don't feel stupid, BeachLife, losing a pet does hurt. I'm sorry. (((((hugs)))))
-------------------- Me: "He's 19? Uh oh, I bought him a beer." A: "You contributed to the deliquency of a minor in drag!" "Sweet spell check: keeping drunks off the radar since 1995."- IND GodRe-AnimateGreenPorkBush Posts: 3986 | From: Illinois, jealous? | Registered: Nov 2005
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I lost my Ginger (imaginative name I know..) 3 years ago, and seeing a picture or a thought of him can still make me tear up.
-------------------- There is no sense in being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway. Posts: 379 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Jan 2004
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I meant to add that I am sorry for your loss BeachLife. It does hurt.
-------------------- There is no sense in being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway. Posts: 379 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Jan 2004
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