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BlueStar
Happy Holly Days


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Was told this as an unashamed friend-of-a-friend story which "Apparently happened, and the lad is quite embarrassed about it according to my mate, but you know what these stories are like". Sounds like text book UL stuff to me [Big Grin] Apologies for the crude language, but it's how it was told to me [Wink]

The young man in question went to a massage parlour and was getting a massage off an attractive young lady. After a while he rolled over to show her how much he was "enjoying it". She asked him if he wanted a wank and he replied yes. So she walked out the room, came back 5 minutes later and asked if he'd finished.

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N11/N12
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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I'd immediately ask to see her supervisor: "You mean the Happy Ending is my problem? WTF?!"

--------------------
"I'm going to start slapping you now and I may never stop."
-Dr. Forrester

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Stoneage Dinosaur
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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I've heard a similar story before, but just told as an ordinary joke rather than a UL.

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"You learn something new every day if you're not careful" - Wilf Lunn

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Purple Iguana
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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That's just plain funny. I wouldn't be surprised if it actually did happen... but wouldn't be horribly let down if it didn't. Sure makes for a good joke!

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They just don't make crazed, beserk robots like they used to. --Sheen Estevez, Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius

If I manage to post something swipe-worthy that you would like to make your sig, you may do so with my blessing.

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Mommytutu
Sunday Floody Sunday


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My hubby is a massage therapist. We're moving to Idaho and depending on counties or something he has to get an adult entertainment license.
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Malruhn
The "Was on Sale" Song


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HAH!!! [lol]

That is a GREAT joke!

I used to go to massage parlors in Korea and was quite popular with the ladies - as all I wanted was a massage. For several visits, they were confused all to hell because I DIDN'T want a "happy ending"... until I kept insisting... and tipping.

I, for one, will not let sex get in the way of a great masssage. I guess I'm too one-track minded... It's either one or the other. [lol]

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Opinions aren't excuses to remain ignorant about subjects, nor are they excuses to never examine one's beliefs & prejudices...

Babies are like tattoos. You see other peoples' & they're cool, but yours is never as good & you can't get rid of it.

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meanjelly
Happy Holly Days


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I get wood evey time I get a message. At first I felt bad; however,now I just live with it.

I have always wondered what the massage therapist was thinking

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Education... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading.
G. M. Trevelyan (1876 - 1962), English Social History (1942)

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put it in writing
Xboxing Day


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Ask any real massage therapist, they'll tell you that's pretty dang common. They mostly just ignore it.

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and it's 1 - 2 - 3, what are we fighting for? don't ask me, I don't give a damn

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Malruhn
The "Was on Sale" Song


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That's pretty funny! I am an over-sexed horndog and I've NEVER gotten an erection when being massaged... and sometimes they got right up to inner thigh to the joint ("leg pit" as it were).

Maybe it just proves I'm weird! [lol]

--------------------
Opinions aren't excuses to remain ignorant about subjects, nor are they excuses to never examine one's beliefs & prejudices...

Babies are like tattoos. You see other peoples' & they're cool, but yours is never as good & you can't get rid of it.

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Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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It may also depend on the kind of massage you're receiving. Unless you're really into pain, a relaxation massage would, I think, be more likely to produce arousal than a therapeutic deep-tissue massage.

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How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

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Singing in the Drizzle
Jingle Bell Hock


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A freind of the family gave me one of those therapeutic deep-tissue massages for free. She normaly caters to weathy people charging $150 for the massages. 30 min under her hands and I was in not shape to think about sex for a couple of hours. I was relaxed, but felt like I just got done with a major work out.
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TuFurg
The First USA Noel


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She gave him 5 minutes? I'd consider that a compliment of sorts.
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Zorro
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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I go for deep-tissue massages a few times a year. I love 'em, but I'm with Singing in the Drizzle- afterwards, I am so spent, there's no way I'm remotely thinking about sex.

Of course, I am female, so it's not like I'd have to worry about wood even if it did make me think about sex, anyway.

--------------------
"Seize the day! Make your lives extraordinary!"
-John Keating, "Dead Poets Society"

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Debunker
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by meanjelly:
I get wood evey time I get a message.

Boy, you must be really worn out after you check your e-mail!

Watch those typos...

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"A minibar is a machine that makes everything expensive." - Mitch Hedberg RIP

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Forgotten Fay
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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quote:
Originally posted by Debunker:
quote:
Originally posted by meanjelly:
I get wood evey time I get a message.

Boy, you must be really worn out after you check your e-mail!
YOMANK!

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"Smile for me when I cannot Smile anymore..." ~ Myself

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susan_kerry
Deck the Malls


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I live in Bolton, England- http://www.arabesquegirlz.co.uk/

This is the sort of massage parlour we have to put up with, its in the BEN newspaper nearly every week being criticised, then they advertise at the back.

The idea that you act like you have just booked in for a massage and are subtly offered " extras " is clearly an urban legend in itself.

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jessboo
The First USA Noel


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What is you you have to 'put up with'?

--------------------
Join me on Lost - www.lost.eu/edcf

Do you have any wine? All of this would go a lot smoother in an altered state of reality.

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Troberg
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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quote:
I live in Bolton, England- http://www.arabesquegirlz.co.uk/
Is it just me that's innocent? I don't have any clue about what most of the services they offer on that site are. I can't make any sense out of most of the acronyms they use?!?!?

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/Troberg

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jessboo
The First USA Noel


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I can't look at it because I'm at work. Can you c&p?

--------------------
Join me on Lost - www.lost.eu/edcf

Do you have any wine? All of this would go a lot smoother in an altered state of reality.

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Stoneage Dinosaur
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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It does seem fairly blatant from the Extra's:

OWO £10
CIM £10
'A' £20
WS £10

OWO = Oral without (condom)
CIM = Cum in mouth
A = fairly obvious
WS = water sports?

(please note I got these from the urban dictionary - I'm much too innocent to have known the first two).

--------------------
"You learn something new every day if you're not careful" - Wilf Lunn

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Billy Biggles
Deck the Malls


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Stoneage, I am completely disgusted that you should put that kind of filth on a public message board. There are 12-year-old girls in this neighbourhood - imagine their reaction if they'd seen that list of yours. They'd have found out I've been underpaying them for years.

Anyway, the OP reminds me of a story set somewhere on an RAF camp in West Germany between 1968 and 1971 (can't be more specific, sorry, very hush-hush, have to kill you if you found out more, or give you a knighthood or something), and an erk* and an Air Marshall** are being shaved in adjoining barbers' chairs.

Barber asks the Air Marshall if he wants some after shave. "Good God, no!" says the Air Marshall, "My wife would think I'd been in a brothel!"

Barber then asks the erk the same question. "Yeah, slap it on," says the erk. "My wife's never worked in a brothel."

*The lowest form of life in the Royal Air Force.
**The difference between God and an Air Marshall is that God is everywhere, and the Air Marshall is everywhere but here.

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Cogito ergo sum, non sum qualis eram. Putting Descartes before the Horace every time.

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notsmiffy
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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quote:
Originally posted by susan_kerry:

This is the sort of massage parlour we have to put up with, its in the BEN newspaper nearly every week being criticised, then they advertise at the back.

That's local newspapers for you. If I were you, I'd stop getting the paper. I mean, apart from "brothel still in our town...Baaaah!" it's only going to be "granny stuck up a tree" and "cat mugged...for 8p" stories, isn't it?
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sherri_lu
Xboxing Day


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There is a massage parlor in San Francisco that caters to out of town business men that has a reputation of implying a happy endings & after the John gives the tip the girl leaves the room & an overweight elderly momma-san takes over the massage. When the guy protest he is asked to leave. Every once in a while someone bitches about it on craigslist.com in rants & raves.
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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Stoneage Dinosaur:
It does seem fairly blatant from the Extra's:

OWO £10
CIM £10
'A' £20
WS £10

OWO = Oral without (condom)
CIM = Cum in mouth
A = fairly obvious
WS = water sports?

(please note I got these from the urban dictionary - I'm much too innocent to have known the first two).

So what are you saying about the last two? [Eek!] [Razz]

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People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by meanjelly:
I get wood evey time I get a message.

I'd hate to hear what happens when you reach the beep. [Eek!]

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People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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Neffti Noel
We Three Blings


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I'm training as a massage therapist this September.

I'm pretty laid back, but I'm dreading giving a bloke a massage for this reason. I'm sticking to friends and family while I train, but imagine someone like a brother-in-law not wanting to lie on his back in case he pitches a tent. It wouldn't upset me (I think - who knows what I'll feel like if/when I get there), but it would concern me that a client would be embarassed about a very natural physical reaction to being nake and being touched. How would you approach the subject? I mean, "Don't worry about your erection, I know it's not really for me and you're just very relaxed."

I am beginning to understand why so many female massage therapists just have a blanket "women only" policy...

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Troberg
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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quote:
How would you approach the subject?
Just ignore it, but don't ignore it in an obvious way. Just continue casual conversation.

Any other response would either be embarassing ("Don't worry, it's natural") or encouraging ("That's a nice one!") or both.

--------------------
/Troberg

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Dropbear
Angels from the Realms so Glurgy


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I'd suggest ignore it. I only have massages rarely because while I like the experience I need to really trust the massage therapist. Another reason is the fear of the unwanted erection. I know for me that had the issue popped up I would have been mortified and then absolutely died with embarassment had the therapist said anything. Fortunately it never happened.

My guess though is that, in most cases, (excepting sleazebags), as with other forms of snakes, the one eyed trouser variety are " more scared of you than you are of them.."

Dropbear

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" The villagers had said justice had been done, and she'd lost patience and told them to go home, then, and pray to whatever gods they believed in that it was never done to them. -- (Terry Pratchett)

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jessboo
The First USA Noel


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Neffti, my mum's a massage therapist and it's really not a problem. She only does people she knows, or husbands etc. of her existing clients- but that's because there are some weird people out there and she works at home, alone. I don't think she's ever had 'that' happen.

Still not sure what the problem is with the massage parlous in Bolton- at least they're not roaming the streets.

--------------------
Join me on Lost - www.lost.eu/edcf

Do you have any wine? All of this would go a lot smoother in an altered state of reality.

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Stoneage Dinosaur
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Canuckistan:
quote:
Originally posted by Stoneage Dinosaur:
It does seem fairly blatant from the Extra's:

OWO £10
CIM £10
'A' £20
WS £10

OWO = Oral without (condom)
CIM = Cum in mouth
A = fairly obvious
WS = water sports?

(please note I got these from the urban dictionary - I'm much too innocent to have known the first two).

So what are you saying about the last two? [Eek!] [Razz]
[lol]

Well, acupressure is quite popular with massage enthusiasts, and I don't see what's wrong with a spot of windsurfing or kayaking afterwards (and a bargain at just £10).

--------------------
"You learn something new every day if you're not careful" - Wilf Lunn

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Neffti Noel
We Three Blings


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Thanks for the tips folks. Yes ignoring it is definitely the way to go, I would never dream of mentioning it... although Troberg's "That's a nice one!" gave me a good laugh!
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notsmiffy
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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quote:
Originally posted by sherri_lu:
There is a massage parlor in San Francisco that caters to out of town business men that has a reputation of implying a happy endings & after the John gives the tip the girl leaves the room & an overweight elderly momma-san takes over the massage. When the guy protest he is asked to leave. Every once in a while someone bitches about it on craigslist.com in rants & raves.

[lol]
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dfresh
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Neffti Neffti Bang Bang:
How would you approach the subject?

My wife is in training, and men getting erections is discussed, since it is quite common. Basically, they are told ignore it.
A friend of mine told me he got an erection once during a massage, and the masseuse said "Don't worry, it is no big thing."
He wasn't sure if he was being insulted or comforted.

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Hypno Toad
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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quote:
Originally posted by BlueStar:

The young man in question went to a massage parlour and was getting a massage off an attractive young lady. After a while he rolled over to show her how much he was "enjoying it". She asked him if he wanted a wank and he replied yes. So she walked out the room, came back 5 minutes later and asked if he'd finished.

While I was in training for a private healthcare company here in the UK, this story was relayed to me as fact. My B.S. detector nearly exploded.

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A Freudian slip occurs when you say one thing while thinking amother - Cliff Claven

Formally Random Dan

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Malruhn
The "Was on Sale" Song


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quote:
"My wife's never worked in a brothel."
Billy Biggles, YOMANK!!

Partially chewed fried chicken + keyboard and monitor = ookie mess.

At least the monitor was easy to clean... [lol]

--------------------
Opinions aren't excuses to remain ignorant about subjects, nor are they excuses to never examine one's beliefs & prejudices...

Babies are like tattoos. You see other peoples' & they're cool, but yours is never as good & you can't get rid of it.

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