posted
Every morning, I get up and check my e-mail. Like most Americans, my spam mail is out of control. Some days I'll get over 300 junk mail advertisements in a single day.
This morning I got up and sure enough, there was an ad offering me the secrets to be a dream lover.
When I went from the computer to my daily newspapers, in the sports section is inevitably an ad to make my penis longer or thicker while all the time assuring me complete privacy and discretion.
I have been doing marriage counseling for 30 years and I have yet to hear a wife or girlfriend lament, "Gee, I really love him and I think we could have a good thing going if only his penis were thicker."
posted
Well, two things... First, I don't think that being bigger would help get girlfriends as I imagine if you've gotten to the point that they can know what size it is, you've already gotten pretty far... it might help retention value, but initial attractiveness boost I just don't see...
Also, simply because someone in a relationship, especially marriage, is not willing to say to a counselor (ESPECIALLY one of the opposite gender) that they wish their partner had a more... sexually well-performing form... doesn't mean they never think or feel it. It would be a rather shameful thing to admit afterall. Especially for a woman (since men are supposed to be fixated on sex it would be considered more acceptable for them to make a similar comment about their wife... they'd still be bad, but just living up to the gender stereotype.)
Posts: 411 | From: California | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Most of the men I counsel wish they were larger and believe this would help them get more girlfriends (snip)
Be careful of using "(snip)" in this context. We don't want another circumcisiondebate...
If my hypothetical husband was looking to acquire more girlfriends, the snip he got would take off a lot more than his foreskin....
Nonny
-------------------- When there isn't anything else worth analyzing, we examine our collective navel. I found thirty-six cents in change in mine the other day. Let no one say that there is no profit in philosophy. -- Silas Sparkhammer Posts: 10141 | From: Toronto, Ontario | Registered: Apr 2000
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quote:Originally posted by Ophiuchus: Well, two things... First, I don't think that being bigger would help get girlfriends as I imagine if you've gotten to the point that they can know what size it is, you've already gotten pretty far... it might help retention value, but initial attractiveness boost I just don't see...
Also, simply because someone in a relationship, especially marriage, is not willing to say to a counselor (ESPECIALLY one of the opposite gender) that they wish their partner had a more... sexually well-performing form... doesn't mean they never think or feel it. It would be a rather shameful thing to admit afterall. Especially for a woman (since men are supposed to be fixated on sex it would be considered more acceptable for them to make a similar comment about their wife... they'd still be bad, but just living up to the gender stereotype.)
I had a longer post with a similar sentiment, but I felt it was too long for the subject matter. (I made a bad pun, and by-george I liked it.)
Anyways, regarding the idea that a longer penis won't help you get dates, I think this was covered very nicely in a comedy show, I believe it may have been Family Guy. A bunch of male friends discovered that another male friend had an abnormally large penis. He attempted to get dates by telling ladies he had a large penis. In the end, they were disgusted, and it was decided that no matter how big you are, you still have to not be a jackass to get a woman to like you.
However, I agree that it's just not true that no women anywhere cares about the size of their partner's penis. That's like saying no man cares about breast size. I know I don't really care how big they are, but some men refuse to have anything but a large-breasted woman.
That's not to say that surgery should be done just because of this.
People are attracted to others that are self confident. If the meeting may end up with a situation where one party may get all embarassed, the self confidence is shot. Therefore, it logically follows that with less self-confidence, fewer chances to find a lover will be available.
SO, a big winkie MAY lead a guy to get more girlfriends, but not in the way he thinks.
Personally, I always wanted a legendary side o' beef - but not for the ladies, as I am very happy with my present set up. I would want it for show and tell. Man, locker rooms would be GREAT!! Drop the towel and have everyone in the room gasp... THAT would inspire confidence!!
-------------------- Opinions aren't excuses to remain ignorant about subjects, nor are they excuses to never examine one's beliefs & prejudices...
Babies are like tattoos. You see other peoples' & they're cool, but yours is never as good & you can't get rid of it. Posts: 5622 | From: Jax, Florida | Registered: Nov 2003
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posted
Most of the men I talk to on an intimate level have told me they think their penis is little. My SO is average sized, but he watches a lot of porn and he always points out to me the huge size of the porn man's penis. I know that fashion magazines and movies are blamed for giving women a distorted body image and making them think they're fat or otherwise inadequate. I would suggest that porn and men's magazines give guys a penis inferiority complex, because there's very little porn starring "little" men. Some people claim that porn objectifies women and lowers their self esteem because they compare themselves to the women on screen. I think this has just the same effect on men, but nobody makes a big deal about it.
The advertising world that preys on making women insecure about their bodies works on men as well. But that doesn't get as much concern or media attention.
-------------------- "There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen Won't somebody please think of the adults! Posts: 8254 | From: Florida | Registered: Oct 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Little Red Cervette: Most of the men I talk to on an intimate level have told me they think their penis is little. My SO is average sized, but he watches a lot of porn and he always points out to me the huge size of the porn man's penis. I know that fashion magazines and movies are blamed for giving women a distorted body image and making them think they're fat or otherwise inadequate. I would suggest that porn and men's magazines give guys a penis inferiority complex, because there's very little porn starring "little" men. Some people claim that porn objectifies women and lowers their self esteem because they compare themselves to the women on screen. I think this has just the same effect on men, but nobody makes a big deal about it.
The advertising world that preys on making women insecure about their bodies works on men as well. But that doesn't get as much concern or media attention.
Just like the low self-confidence that some men give to women by "guy-talk" about boob-size, I think the "girl talk" especially when drunk about "10 inch dicks" gives men self-confidence issues too. Let's not forget every rap song ever made.
posted
Wife was reading my email over my sholder one day when she saw one of those grow your penis ads. She informed me that if I ever wanted to grow my penis she wanted a divorce. I'm a little bigger than average, nothing as big as you see in the porn movies. She told me that I was as big as she wanted it. If she is happy with the size so am I. So I contued to delete the junk email.
Posts: 597 | From: Bellingham, WA | Registered: Nov 2005
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Personally, I prefer a smaller guy. Every woman is a little different, but I think maybe I'm uh...tighter? than most. Anything larger than flat-line average is kind of painful. I can't imagine I'm alone in this, though.
Aura
-------------------- "Are we talking misdemeanor trouble or squeal like a pig trouble?" Posts: 618 | From: Ann Arbor, Michigan | Registered: May 2006
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quote:posted by Oceanic Aura I can't imagine I'm alone in this, though.
No, you're not alone. I'm the same way.
-------------------- Me: "He's 19? Uh oh, I bought him a beer." A: "You contributed to the deliquency of a minor in drag!" "Sweet spell check: keeping drunks off the radar since 1995."- IND GodRe-AnimateGreenPorkBush Posts: 3986 | From: Illinois, jealous? | Registered: Nov 2005
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-------------------- "There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen Won't somebody please think of the adults! Posts: 8254 | From: Florida | Registered: Oct 2002
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posted
TMI space TMI space TMI space TMI space TMI space TMI space
I heard a report from a lady who is a very close friend that after a hysterectomy, her husband seemed too broad around in the critical area and it was a problem. Too long is fixable with a small change of technique but too broad? Nope.
In my younger days, I had a g/f who was very petite and bigger definately wasn't better as far as she was concerned.
Blues
Posts: 207 | From: Woolhampton, Berks, UK | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
Most guys I've discussed it with (friends and lovers) are secretly worried their "tool" isn't good enough in some way or another. It's too wide, not wide enough, it has a curve, it's too straight, the head and shaft are disproportionate, it's not big enough when it's soft, it's not big enough when it's hard, it has veins, it doesn't have veins, it has some hair, it's circumcised, it's not circumcised, and on and on. The only guy I knew who seemed entirely happy was overly endowed to the point that being presented with it was intimidating. And, I bet even he had something in the back of his mind that worried him.
quote:Originally posted by Little Red Cervette: My SO is average sized, but he watches a lot of porn and he always points out to me the huge size of the porn man's penis.
Just remind him the camera always adds 10 pounds.
quote:Originally posted by Oceanic Aura: I can't imagine I'm alone in this, though.
Yet another woman here to assure you, you're not.
TMI SPACE OF MY OWN
I only had penetrative sex with one guy before my SO, that guy was also a virgin so he couldn't really give me any comparative feedback, but my SO tells me that compared to other women, I'm very tight. Which probably explains why it is often at least a little painful. Compared to the other penises I've encountered, his is on the large side of average. I have at times wished he was a little smaller, but certainly never wanted any larger. And, I would never want a man to have surgery or take drugs in an attempt to make changes.
Posts: 550 | From: Springboro, OH | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Most guys I've discussed it with (friends and lovers) are secretly worried their "tool" isn't good enough in some way or another.
Not me. I've made a point to not worry about things I cannot change, since there is really no point in it. That may sound very holier-than-thou, but if you really try, in a few years you can learn to don't bother about unavoidable problems/dangers.
Besides, all who has tried it has found it ... ehm ... satisfying, and who am I to question their judgement.
quote:My SO is average sized, but he watches a lot of porn and he always points out to me the huge size of the porn man's penis.
Is that true or just a myth? Sure, there is a genre for giants, but most seem to be average to slightly above average. Now, I don't have a huge experience in the area of typical size (I try to avoid situations where erect male genitalia is present unless it's my own), but the ones seen in porn does not usually strike me as that big (with the exception of the actors who specialize in big ones). Anyone who has seen lots of dicks who has more insight on this?
-------------------- /Troberg Posts: 4360 | From: Borlänge, Sweden | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
Troberg, I'd have to say your conclusion on the issue is where most men end up as well. It's the most healthy attitude. Any worries they have aren't enough for them to consider altering it in any way as long as they're getting positive feedback from the ladies (or men if they swing that way). It's just one of those back of the mind things.
quote:Originally posted by Troberg: but the ones seen in porn does not usually strike me as that big (with the exception of the actors who specialize in big ones). Anyone who has seen lots of dicks who has more insight on this?
POSSIBLE TMI ALERT
I've been in contact with a fair few (a little less than 20) and I also have seen quite a bit of porn. In my experience, the men in porn fall slightly on the high side of average overall. Although, they sometimes do appear bigger than ones I've been exposed to in real life simply because the porn guys tend to be in excellent shape so there is no fat pad affecting the apparent length. I rarely see one in porn that is as large as the largest I've been exposed to in real life, and I've never seen any in porn anywhere near as small as the smallest I've seen in real life. But, most of the ones I see in porn are similar in size to most of the ones I've seen in real life.
I don't think enormous guys are used in most porn because most porn is marketed toward men, and men don't want their porn making them feel inadequate. Also, I think it is because the huge guys would not be all that popular among most of the women starring in the porn, and the women do usually have some say in who they will or will not work with.
Posts: 550 | From: Springboro, OH | Registered: Feb 2006
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You'd think that there would be at least one place you wouldn't have to worry about having wrinkles or perceived imperfections or quirks. Apparently not! Posts: 679 | From: New York | Registered: Oct 2001
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Not Safe for Work! But oh so amusing...Assuming you have an infantile sense of humor, like I do.
Aura
-------------------- "Are we talking misdemeanor trouble or squeal like a pig trouble?" Posts: 618 | From: Ann Arbor, Michigan | Registered: May 2006
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posted
Surprisingly enough, it seems that the size matters debate goes both ways. (DEFINITELY NOT WORK-SAFE!)
Here's the key part:
quote:Sure, women prefer men with big genitals, but guess what, men seem to have a similar preference when it comes to women. Recent studies show that most men get more excited at the view of a big vulva than a small one. Big labia minora and big labia majora are among the strong female characteristics that make a woman feminine. (See the list on page 8 Anticipation For Sex and Visual Excitement.) When all these female characteristics are emphasized in a certain woman, men will favor her above one with less pronounced features. She satisfies his instinct by confirming that he is dealing with a true woman.
Until recently, many men had no clue how the exterior female genitals really looked like. Many women were so hairy that the clitoris and lips were completely hidden, so when a man thought of a vagina, all he pictured was a hairy triangle.
Following the examples in the entertainment industry many women nowadays are shaving their vulvas completely hairless, at the most leaving a little strip of short hair just above the clitoris. Brazilian waxes (taking off everything, wherever it grows) are becoming the in-thing. When a woman is shaven around the vagina, the size and shape of the clitoris and inner and outer lips are very noticeable.
Ramblin' "but I still like the natural look" Dave
-------------------- Another lifetime I'd have fallen in love with you Swept away by my feelings, ashamed and confused But just now it's enough to be walking with you Let the mystery play as it will! -Lui Collins Posts: 2669 | From: Jouy en Josas, France | Registered: May 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Ramblin' Dave, ramblin' again:
quote:When all these female characteristics are emphasized in a certain woman, men will favor her above one with less pronounced features.
I don't know, the only commentary I have ever heard from a man regarding large inner labia was a very negative reference to "meat curtains".
From what I've seen (in porn mostly), there seems to be much more wide of variation between different women's visible genitalia than there is between mens'. Before I had any experience with others than my own, or feedback from men, I was worried there was something weird and grotesque about mine. While mine's a little different in its own way (never got any complaints, tho, and reassurances it's not at all weird when I have brought it up), I've seen ones that look (to my eye) way more grotesque since then. Even though I am sexually attracted to women, I do not find women's external genitalia attractive in any sense. I personally think the current trend towards shaving bare isn't really doing women any favors in the look down there. I do like it for reasons other than looks, tho.
Posts: 550 | From: Springboro, OH | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
I do prefer the shaved look, not sure what's grotesque about it, but we may just have not seen the same women. Honestly, when I was younger I had no clue what one was supposed to look like, as the article indicates, but after seeing shaved and unshaved in porn, I'd have to say I prefer shaved for sure now.
The only time I've ever heard meat curtains is in the company of the boy-in-man's-body type of guy.
posted
Cervus- In the past few years I have read several articles about the growing affect of the media on men's self-esteem. The rates of eating disorders such as bulemia and anorexia are up as are cosmetic surgeries for men. Of course, the sources I saw cited men's fitness magazines and mainstream media in general, not porn. I think you're on to something though.
-------------------- This used to be the life, but I don't need another one. MyBandwagon Posts: 3254 | From: small town Texas | Registered: Jan 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Midgard_Dragon: Anyways, regarding the idea that a longer penis won't help you get dates, I think this was covered very nicely in a comedy show, I believe it may have been Family Guy. A bunch of male friends discovered that another male friend had an abnormally large penis. He attempted to get dates by telling ladies he had a large penis. In the end, they were disgusted, and it was decided that no matter how big you are, you still have to not be a jackass to get a woman to like you.
I got hassled at work by an apprentice boasting of his 9 inch endowment. He seemed to think 38 year old me couldn't fail to want a 21 year old with such an attribute. I have my own ways of dealing with such things. He sent me a digital photo of it. I edited the photo to make it larger and thicker and sent it to his home email with a note saying "when you can offer me this, then I MIGHT be interested".
The big turn-off was this guy's personality so I hit him where it hurt his pride. I don't care what his dimensions are, if he's a louse I don't want to know him. I've seen a wide range of sizes and as long as the owner is proficient in its use, I've no complaints
A friend's wife says "It's not the size of the wand that matters, it's the skill of the wizard that waves it" (and that was waaaay before Harry Potter). Said friend admits to being "hung like a hamster" but his wife evidently has no complaints!
quote:Originally posted by Llewtrah: A friend's wife says "It's not the size of the wand that matters, it's the skill of the wizard that waves it" (and that was waaaay before Harry Potter). Said friend admits to being "hung like a hamster" but his wife evidently has no complaints!
I once said to a friend "It's not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean." To which she replied, "But you can't row to Europe in a canoe!"
-------------------- "Are we talking misdemeanor trouble or squeal like a pig trouble?" Posts: 618 | From: Ann Arbor, Michigan | Registered: May 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Llewtrah: I got hassled at work by an apprentice boasting of his 9 inch endowment. He seemed to think 38 year old me couldn't fail to want a 21 year old with such an attribute. I have my own ways of dealing with such things. He sent me a digital photo of it. I edited the photo to make it larger and thicker and sent it to his home email with a note saying "when you can offer me this, then I MIGHT be interested".
I would have reported him for sexual harassment.
-------------------- "There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen Won't somebody please think of the adults! Posts: 8254 | From: Florida | Registered: Oct 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Midgard_Dragon: However, I agree that it's just not true that no women anywhere cares about the size of their partner's penis. That's like saying no man cares about breast size. I know I don't really care how big they are, but some men refuse to have anything but a large-breasted woman.
That's true, but I think most women, like most men, are with their partners for reasons other than their breast or penis size. Most people I think are able to balance their desire for their physically ideal partner with wanting a partner with an ideal personality.
-------------------- Officially Heartless Posts: 3065 | From: The Montgomery County of the West Coast- Berkeley, CA | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by ThistleS: I think most women, like most men, are with their partners for reasons other than their breast or penis size. Most people I think are able to balance their desire for their physically ideal partner with wanting a partner with an ideal personality.
Thank you - I fully agree. I've long held that, while good looks are nice for my partner to have, intelligence and humor FAR outrank looks in importance to me.
-------------------- "I'm singing and deranged!" Posts: 239 | From: Georgia | Registered: Dec 2004
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I have exprienced both extremes (large and small). In my experience, the "smaller" size is definitely the norm. The ex that was "large" didn't seem to "know what to do with it" and those with smaller sizes, um, kinda made up for it in other ways.
I don't know if ya'll know what I mean.......
-------------------- Licorice of the Lord! This is classy stuff...Should I be wearing a tie? Or, at least, pants? ~I'mNotDedalus Posts: 975 | From: New Jersey | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
Oceanic,Little Red, Candy, and Mags, I love you all.
-------------------- "It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid,than to open it and remove all doubt."- Mark Twain Posts: 426 | From: Tucson, AZ (The Old Pueblo) | Registered: Jun 2004
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I have exprienced both extremes (large and small). In my experience, the "smaller" size is definitely the norm. The ex that was "large" didn't seem to "know what to do with it" and those with smaller sizes, um, kinda made up for it in other ways.
I don't know if ya'll know what I mean.......
I do. In my experience (which comes from a statistically insignificant sample size, so I shall not presume to generalize from it) men with larger penises did not put in much effort or read my signs very well, while some men with average sized penises put in more effort and were more attuned to my signs. However, some men with average sized penises put in no more noticeable amount of effort than larger-penised men.
-------------------- Officially Heartless Posts: 3065 | From: The Montgomery County of the West Coast- Berkeley, CA | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
So what was the sexual myth that was debunked? I read through the article and the author never really made a point.
Posts: 439 | From: Redondo Beach, CA | Registered: Sep 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Midgard_Dragon: However, I agree that it's just not true that no women anywhere cares about the size of their partner's penis. That's like saying no man cares about breast size. I know I don't really care how big they are, but some men refuse to have anything but a large-breasted woman.
That's true, but I think most women, like most men, are with their partners for reasons other than their breast or penis size. Most people I think are able to balance their desire for their physically ideal partner with wanting a partner with an ideal personality.
I agree, however, let's not kid ourselves that there aren't those amongst who are so shallow that the looks and size are the most important things, though. Luckily that's not the norm.
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