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Author Topic: Stop the Show!
snopes
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http://www.latimes.com/news/columnists/la-me-only30jun30,1,3157400.column

quote:
"Stop the Show," a new book detailing unusual theater incidents, recounts a Burbank production of "Sleeping Beauty" in which "the actor playing Prince Charming entered wearing very close-fitting tights."

A boy of about 4 in the audience "clearly was having his first live theater experience," wrote author Brad Schreiber. "He stood up and, clear as a bell, announced to his mother and the rest of the Falcon Theater, 'Mommy, I can see Prince Charming's penis!'"


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Squishy0405
Wii Wiish You A Merry Chriistmas


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Our son is only 14 1/2 months but I wouldn't think that most 4 year olds say "penis"?

I had to have been his first show since he didn't see that prince charming really doesn't have an interest in the princess he'd rather have the queen...drag that is [Razz]

Ok I should leave this joke making to someone else [Embarrassed]

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Midgard_Dragon
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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I think it depends on what he's heard his parents or other people call it. I'd rather call it a "penis" with my children, God forbid I ever have them, as opposed to the cutesy names like "willy, winky, hoo-ha, monkey, wee-wee, etc." that we hear it called. So if his parents have said it in the past, combined with the child seeing someone in tights or that tight-fitting of clothing in public for the first time, I can buy that a child would say just such a thing. Wether this incident actually happened or not, who knows. It's certainly plausible, though.

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Troberg
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quote:
I think it depends on what he's heard his parents or other people call it. I'd rather call it a "penis" with my children, God forbid I ever have them, as opposed to the cutesy names like "willy, winky, hoo-ha, monkey, wee-wee, etc." that we hear it called.
I've tried to convince some people I know with children that they should use the old (and nowadays considered obsolete) word "åderpåle" (dierect translation is something like "veiny pole"). So far it hasn't caught on...

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/Troberg

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Ganzfeld
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We were buying hockey equipment in the US and my son said, loud enough for several people in the shop to hear, "Daddy, don't forget to buy a schmeckel protector." [Embarrassed] ("It's just a protector, son," I whispered.) I have to be a little more careful about what kind of language I use around him!
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Megan'sMom
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Actually, around 4 or 5 is often a time when kids starting wanting to know the "real" words for private parts. Don't you remember the scene in "Kindergarten Cop" where the little kid loudly announces that "Boys have penises and girls have vaginas". DD (age 5) often chooses less than appropriate places to discuss things like that. I get a lot less embarrassed by the penis/vagina comments than when she points out that some random person she can see has "plumber's butt" (i.e. butt crack showing). Thanks a bunch for that one, Daddy!!

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but do it in private, and wash your hands afterwards.

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Syllavus
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I hope we've reached a day and age where a four year old kid would call it a penis and not a "pee-pee" or other such silly word. I'm sure it's plausible, but it's also one of those things that could have easily been made up.

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"That would be really dangerous, you know. Indiscriminately extricating someone from the petrified corpse of a supernatural creature." - My Husband

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rodh
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My son has been using the term penis since he could speak.

Of course this backfires at times. We were at the drive-in and between shows I decided to go to the washroom. As I was walking away my son (3 years old at the time) leaned out the van window and yelled, "Dad, don't forget to wipe your penis!!"

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murmurzz
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My son is just over 2 and while he isn't speaking a whole lot yet, much less speaking about his penis, we always use "penis" when refering to that particular body part. We'll also refrain from using cutesy names with my little girl-to-be (like "hoo hoo" or "down there"). I seriously can't stand that.

I knew a little boy once who called it his noodle. [Roll Eyes]

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Raven Waift
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One of my cousins called it his tiger. He once got it tangled in the mesh of his swimming trunks (don't ask me how), and my mum had to help him out. She was very very confused when he first asked her for help. (You got your tiger stuck in your trunks?)

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Dr. Winston O'Boogie
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quote:
Originally posted by murmurzz:
My son is just over 2 and while he isn't speaking a whole lot yet, much less speaking about his penis, we always use "penis" when refering to that particular body part. We'll also refrain from using cutesy names with my little girl-to-be (like "hoo hoo" or "down there"). I seriously can't stand that.

I knew a little boy once who called it his noodle. [Roll Eyes]

When my nephews were young, my SIL explained the correct names of "those parts" to the older. Later on, they took a bath together, and my older nephew says to his brother "This is your penis, and these are your tenticles!" Still a favorite family story (obviously!)

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Squishy0405
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quote:
Originally posted by rodh:
My son has been using the term penis since he could speak.

Of course this backfires at times. We were at the drive-in and between shows I decided to go to the washroom. As I was walking away my son (3 years old at the time) leaned out the van window and yelled, "Dad, don't forget to wipe your penis!!"

Sorry but [lol]

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"Fate is like a strange, unpopular resturant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never ask for and don't always like."-Lemony Snicket

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TuFurg
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Megan's Mom:
Actually, around 4 or 5 is often a time when kids starting wanting to know the "real" words for private parts. Don't you remember the scene in "Kindergarten Cop" where the little kid loudly announces that "Boys have penises and girls have vaginas".

Do you have anything close to a cite that this is "often" the case?

And aside from the fact that Kindergarten Cop was a movie- IIRC the characters in question had a father who was a gynocologist or the like which was why the kids knew the words.

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cubbie
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When I visited the Body Worlds exibit in Chicago, a girl about 4 years old goes " Mommy I can see his privates." when she was looking at one of the bodys.

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i reject reality and submit my own

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kathryn
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We've always used the word penis with my 4yr old son.

I haven't taught him the word vagina yet. He knows that I don't have a penis and that's as far as we've gotten.

My mother is a nurse and my sister and I were taught the words vagina and penis at an early age.

Kathryn

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Ligeia
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My nephew says "penis", because that's what his parents taught him. And, if I ever somehow end up with kids, I will also teach them to use "penis" and "vagina" because, well, that's what those parts are called. Why would you teach your child to call them something else only to have to tell them later that "Winky isn't really what we say, and hoo-hoo isn't even a real word"?

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Doug4.7
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quote:
Originally posted by Dr. Winston O'Boogie:
When my nephews were young, my SIL explained the correct names of "those parts" to the older. Later on, they took a bath together, and my older nephew says to his brother "This is your penis, and these are your tenticles!" Still a favorite family story (obviously!)

When my son was young, he had a "problem" with his scrotal sack. It was something minor (I forget). When I asked him what hurt, he just pointed. I was confused (as I knew he knew the words for it) and said, “Your penis hurts?”. His answer was, “No, the squishy parts.”.

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And now for something completely different...

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emperor_genghis_khan
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quote:
“No, the squishy parts.”.

That was the problem.

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Excuses satisfy only those who offer them. Your enemies won't believe them and your friends don't need them.

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Doug4.7
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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quote:
Originally posted by emperor_genghis_khan:
quote:
“No, the squishy parts.”.

That was the problem.
Yup. Had to give him a father-son talk about the squishy parts. The wife didn't seem to understand.

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And now for something completely different...

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Cervus
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I've worked with adult women who refer to a penis as a "pee-pee". That drives me up the wall.

I also knew a woman who referred to her dog's penis as his "lipstick" because that's what it looks like when it's sticking out. I prefer to call it a penis regardless of species.

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"There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen
Won't somebody please think of the adults!

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Artemis
The First USA Noel


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Except, teaching them that boys have penises and girls have vaginas isn't exactly accurate, is it? probably better to teach girls that they have a vulva (that comes complete with vagina, urethra, and super concentrated with nerves clit!). Otherwise wouldn't that lead to the erroneous belief that girls pee out of their vaginas?

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Forgotten Fay
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I almsot died laughing when I was at work one day. A little boy and his mom walked by, the boy was about 4 or 5, and he just blurted out (extreamly loud) "Mommy! Can I wear a condom?!" The Mom's mouth dropped open and she all but ran out of the store with him, and I just about crawled under the desk so no one would see me laughing.

But on serious note; when I have children, I do plan on teaching them the correct terms for their bodyparts. I never thought it wise to do otherwise. My cousin's son calls it his "bird." O.o

edited because I cannot spell.

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candycane from strangers
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Forgotten Fay, I have to ask. Why was the boy asking about wearing a condom? Were there some in the store?

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Me: "He's 19? Uh oh, I bought him a beer."
A: "You contributed to the deliquency of a minor in drag!"
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LyndaD
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Sad to say, there are a lot of parents who prefer the cutsey names. Even sadder, many parents don't have any kind of discussion about anatomy or function with their children.
But then, there's children who prefer their own names for things regardless of what the parents call them, such as DD1, who referred to that region as her 'body'. One of the teachers I work with commented that his two preteen sons have taken to referring to being 'kicked in the roundtables' as the final blow in their altercations with each other.

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Damian
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quote:
Originally posted by Artemis:
Except, teaching them that boys have penises and girls have vaginas isn't exactly accurate, is it?

It's not ??? When did this change?

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"I always tell the truth. Even when I lie." - Tony Montana

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Artemis
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Damian:
quote:
Originally posted by Artemis:
Except, teaching them that boys have penises and girls have vaginas isn't exactly accurate, is it?

It's not ??? When did this change?
Well, if you're teaching them about from where they urinate, then no...you don't want them to misinterpret it as girls urinate out of their vaginas. I just think it's more accurate to say that boys have penises, girls have vulvas. (Vulvae?)

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-Mustapha Mond, "Brave New World"

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Cervus
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Artemis, I think what Damian meant is that boys do have penises and girls do have vaginas. You said this wasn't accurate. It is. But what you meant was that it is not accurate to parallel the two parts in terms of function.

Saying girls have vulvas isn't "more accurate", it's just as accurate as saying they have vaginas. Questions of accuracy only arise if you're describing what functions the parts serve. It's like saying boys have penises and girls have ovaries. Accurate biology? Yes. An accurate parallel? No.

The boy=penis and girl=vagina explanation probably is the simplest way to explain sex in the "Insert tab A into slot B" method. Some people are uncomfortable explaining sex to their children so they probably leave out the "unnecessary" parts like vulvas.

I was taught to refer to that whole region as "my private parts" and didn't learn all the technical names until 6th or 7th grade.

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"There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen
Won't somebody please think of the adults!

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gift-wrapped smittykins
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quote:
Originally posted by LyndaD:
Sad to say, there are a lot of parents who prefer the cutsey names. Even sadder, many parents don't have any kind of discussion about anatomy or function with their children.

Then there's our old friend Gary Ezzo, who not only discourages using the proper terms for the private parts of one's body, but also giving kids any information about sex outside of a flower metaphor, leaving them to "figure it all out on their wedding night."

smitty"Ignorance is NOT bliss"kins

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Ovalescent
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quote:
Originally posted by Little Red Cervette:
I also knew a woman who referred to her dog's penis as his "lipstick" because that's what it looks like when it's sticking out. I prefer to call it a penis regardless of species.

In all fairness, at my job (at a kennel) we say "watch out, he's got lipstick!" Because it's quicker than "Careful, that dog has an erection!"

Back when I worked at the gas station a little boy in there with his grandpa put his hands on his hips and said "I have a BONER!" Lord only knows where he learned that one!

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CherryQueen
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quote:
Originally posted by candy from strangers:
Forgotten Fay, I have to ask. Why was the boy asking about wearing a condom? Were there some in the store?

Probably because kids just say stuff like that. When I was almost 2 my mom and I were at the store and she jokingly asked me if I needed anything, to which I replied, "Yes. I need some Stayfree Maxi pads."

Cherry "I still don't know why the brand mattered" Queen

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"Hilariously, he pronounces "Sauron" as "Sore-on", which sounds like something you apply directly to facial herpes."--theagonybooth.com

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rogue
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quote:
Originally posted by Megan's Mom:
DD (age 5) often chooses less than appropriate places to discuss things like that.

My DD (age 17!!!) does the exact same thing (and has since 5) and my wife also blames me!

Sometimes she does it on purpose to shock/embarass, but mostly not.

-Rogue

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"'Cause you might enjoy some madness for awile."

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mags
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I remember vividly once when I was around 12, and for some reason in a restaurant, I suddenly direly needed my mom to remind me of the name of the porn star I remembered her mentioning once as being "hung like a horse."

So, imagine me asking without lowering my voice "what's the name of that guy who's hung like a horse?" and my mom being embarrassed so pretending she doesn't hear, and me being completely oblivious, so repeating it louder.

I don't know why I was so oblivious, because it's not as though I didn't know it was completely inappropriate lunchtime communication. I wasn't too young to know better. The scene plays back for me like some horrible nightmare. I remember the look of the guy at the next table, and I have no idea why at that time, that look wasn't enough to get me to shut my big mouth.

BTW, the answer was John Holmes.

If I was going to have kids, I would teach them the proper names for their parts. I may also have cutesy names for them as well, at least that would keep them from shouting about penises in a crowded store. Even though I always knew the name for my "area", family tradition was to refer to it as a monkey. Even though you know what she means, it would be less mortifying to have your daughter rattling off some inane chatter about her monkey in a store than about her genitals. It would be less for me anyway.

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Snafu
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From the Ezzo site:

quote:
They further imply that this knowledge is evil and corrupting in itself. Couple this with the explicit contention that children are inherently perverse and corrupt and must not have their "evil imaginations activated"
It boggles the mind, it really does. Idiots.
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DesertRat
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quote:
I've worked with adult women who refer to a penis as a "pee-pee". That drives me up the wall.
Heh heh. My wife has no issue at all with using adult terminology for anything, but will frequently flippantly refer to oral sex as "sucking the pee-pee." Needless to say, this doesn't do much to help my state of arousal, and I don't find it nearly as funny as she seems to.

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High on the wind, the Highland drums begin to roll, and something from the past just comes and stares into my soul... --Mark Knopfler

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Ramblin' Dave, quietly making noise
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by Artemis:
Otherwise wouldn't that lead to the erroneous belief that girls pee out of their vaginas?

I shudder to recall how old I was before I learned that wasn't the case. [Embarrassed]

My parents taught me the correct words for everything just as soon as I was old enough to say them, so I could see a four year old knowing the word "penis." I'm pretty sure I did. I also inherited a visceral hatred for most of the "cute" names, in part because I remember most of my friends using them when they were surely old enough to know better. I even remember one friend finding a book about the birds and the bees and, although she was otherwise a good reader for her age (second grade, I think), she was stumped on how to pronounce the real words. I think she said "penss" and "viggina".

ETA: IIRC, there were two different kids in Kindergarten Cop who made the comments referred to above. One kid said "Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina," and another one said, "My daddy's a gynecologist, he looks at vaginas all day long." But it's been a long time since I've seen that movie.

--------------------
Another lifetime I'd have fallen in love with you
Swept away by my feelings, ashamed and confused
But just now it's enough to be walking with you
Let the mystery play as it will! -Lui Collins

Posts: 2669 | From: Jouy en Josas, France | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
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