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» Hello » Urban Legends » Glurge Gallery » You've Been Picked, You've Been Blessed - Another Really Annoying Religious Chain

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Author Topic: You've Been Picked, You've Been Blessed - Another Really Annoying Religious Chain
I Saw Three Shipments

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I'm going to preceed my comments throughout this horrible chain with a -

----- Original Message -----
From: a habitual forwarder!
To: Undisclosed-Recipient:;

-What? I'm not the only one who got this - oh, but it's chain mail, not a personally written note. I feel so incredibly special now! Right...

Sent: Wednesday, December 27, 2006 10:08 PM
Subject: I Picked You

-I know, I got picked to be on somebody's list for sending chain mail junk to!

> God still sits on the throne.

-I will be near the throne by the end of this, on my knees, head down once the screaming and hair-tearing gives way to a seriously upset stomach. Why in the heck do Christians always, ALWAYS get sucked into this stuff and believe that God works through chain email, which is the tool of liars, spammers, and head-gamers? Why are they too lazy to send actual personally written notes to their friends, but send every flippin religious/fluffy/cutesy fwd to hit their inbox? Why don't they realize this junk is as impersonal as an advertisement or high-pitch sale tactic?

> > > > Each and everyone one of us are going through > >tough times right now,

-Yes, I am, so this lousy pseudo-religious chain came into my inbox at the worst possible time. Would it really have killed you to send me a personally written note to show me you really do care and are thinking about me and maybe ask me how I am and actually listen when I tell you about my hard time? Oh, but I'm only an email in your address book for sending chain mail to, don't give me a second's worth of any real thought!

but God is getting ready to bless you in a > >way that only He can.

-Maybe, but this chain is not it, that's for dang sure! It's not a blessing, it's a curse of the internet.

Keep the faith.

-Give me a reason to - or were you talking about God and not faith in online "friends"? I would've appreciated this advice if it had honestly come from you and not been passed on to you, and by you and by thousands of others who got duped into thinking this was a real personal and sweet email.
> >
> > My instructions were to pick four people that I > >wanted God to bless, and I picked you.

-How tacky! God doesn't make anybody pick a number of people to bless. God blesses people and not via chain mail forwards, so, no, you have not made me feel blessed. If the chain had "instructed" you to forward it to a zillion people and then jump off a bridge, would you have done that, too? Why in blue blazes can people say "no" to their friends and family when asked or instructed by them to do something, but they just can't say "no" and refuse to follow an "instruction" in a chain letter?

Please pass this to at least> >(4) people you want to be blessed and a copy back to me.

-Please, I'm not going to spam four people with this piece of badly written, canned religion.

> > This prayer is powerful,

-Wrong, in your case and that of so many other schmucks, the urge to forward every stinking chain letter is powerful, not the prayer. And prayer needs to be done personally and on one's own time, I'm not a bot, and won't pass on a chain mail that disguises itself as a prayer. One of the basics of the Christian faith is not to be deceitful, so, think about that and stop sending forwards to me or anyone else!

and prayer is one of the > >best gifts we receive.

-I'm not a new Christian, I've been one all my life, so I don't appreciate getting preached at, especially by well-meaning, but unthinking and gullible people that can't even be bothered to send personally written notes. And, no, a form letter during the holidays telling me all about people in your life I never heard of, the same form letter you sent to all others on your junk recipiant list doesn't count as personal email!

There is no cost but a lot of rewards.

-Sorry, but there is a cost for sending this junk - it's known as the loss of friendship. I'm still awaiting a reward in the form of no more forwards from you!

Let's > >continue to pray for one another.

-Yeah sure. First you have to actually write to me, and then maybe we can have an actual conversation and then you can start praying. Until then, stuff it.
> >
> > The prayer:
> > Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives > >and those that I care deeply for, who are reading this right now.

-I pray you will give them the strength not to pass it on. I also pray for everyone lucky enough not to have received this dreck. I pray they will not receive it and feel as worthless as I do to people who have so thoughtlessly passed it on to me.

> >Show them a new revelation of Your love and power.

-Please show them that sending chain mail is not the way to keep friends and is not the way to salvation!

Holy Spirit, I > >ask You to minister to their spirit at this very moment.
Where there > >is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Where there is self-doubt, > >release a renewed confidence through Your grace. Where there is > >need, I ask you to fulfill their needs. Bless their homes, families,> >finances, their goings and their comings. In Jesus' precious name. > >Amen.

-And where there is glurge chain mail, the strength and intelligence not to pass it along, and where there is pain from receiving fwds, mercy, understanding, and a lot more consideration. Please grant people the ability to show mercy to their friends by not sending any more forwards. Amen.

> >
> > > (If the Lord lays upon your heart to send this to > >more than four "4" people , you are truly blessed.)

-Argh!! Look at the above where I said we mustn't be deceitful. Because this is a blatant, blasphemous lie and a terrible mockery of religion. This is exactly why so many people think Christians are absolute idiots, because they send around this crap,and make idiots of themselves! Stop it!

Posts: 63 | From: Calgary, Alberta, Canada | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator

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