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Author Topic: Can You Help Me Find Jesus?
snopes
Return! Return! Return!


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Recently my five year old boy came into the room with a look of desperation and exasperation on his face.

Before I could even ask him the obligatory parenting question, “what’s wrong?”, he cried out, “Can you help me find Jesus?”

Needless to say, I was caught off guard. I certainly wasn’t expecting this question at this particular moment in time. Could my little guy really be asking me about salvation? He had shown no signs of genuine interest in “spiritual” things at his young age.

Nonetheless, I was ready to share the Gospel with him. You could tell I was ready by my deeply theological response...

“Huh?”

Jacob repeated, “Can you help me find Jesus? I’ve lost the Jesus card.”

Then I realized what he was talking about. We have a discipleship game that has cardboard pieces. One of the gamepieces is a small card that has the word “Jesus” printed on it, and apparently it was missing.

“Yes, I sure can.” With a little bit of pointing in the right direction, Jacob soon found the Jesus card he was looking for. (And I continue to long for the day when He finds THE Jesus as Savior of His life!)

You know, it’s not only Jacob, but there are countless others who walk into our lives with that same look of desperation and exasperation on their faces.

They may never utter the words with their lips, but surely if we listen, we can hear their very lives crying out to us, “Can you help me find Jesus?”

That lonely recluse who lives down the road is crying out. So is that pregnant teenager. And the prostitute. And the drunkard.

That obnoxious co-worker that no one can stand is crying out. So is the friendly, moral grandmother who always does everything just right.

There are teachers and students, husbands and wives, employees and employers, teammates and coaches. There are close friends and casual acquaintances. There’s the clerk at Wal-Mart, the barber, and the librarian. The guy standing next to you in the elevator and the girl in front of you in the grocery store checkout line.

They’re crying out with their lives, “Can you help me find Jesus?”

How will we respond? Will we nod our heads politely, maybe offer a puzzled “huh” and move on with our busy lives? Or, will we point them in the right direction and lead them to Jesus?!

There are people all around us, desperate and exasperated, just like my son Jacob.

Only they’re not looking for a piece of cardboard, they’re looking for peace of mind. They’re not searching for something missing from a game, they’re searching for something missing from their lives. It’s not a part to fill the void in a boardgame, but rather it’s a Savior to fill that Godshaped hole in their dry, thirsty souls.

They’re crying out, “Can you help me find Jesus?” May we be ready with an answer: “Yes, I sure can!”

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chillas
Coventry Mall Carol


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
(And I continue to long for the day when He finds THE Jesus as Savior of His life!)

Wait ... when "He" finds Jesus? But, isn't "He" (with a capital "H") Jesus? I'm confused. Jesus can't find himself?

So, the moral of this story seems to be that if anyone asks a question, they're looking for Jesus.

my boss: When are you going to have that report to me?
me: Sure, boss, I'll help you find Jesus!

passenger: What time is the train into the city?
conductor: Sure, I'll help you find Jesus!

Kosh: Who are you?
Sheridan: Sure, I'll help you find Jesus!

--------------------
Come on, come on - spin a little tighter
Come on, come on - and the world's a little brighter


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Four Kitties
Layaway in a Manger


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quote:
Can you help me find Jesus?
I didn't know He was missing.

Ba DUM bump.

No wait, I'll get it -- [fish]

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If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

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Cervus
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Bumpersticker I've seen:

"I found Jesus. He was behind the sofa the whole time."

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"There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen
Won't somebody please think of the adults!

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Yleemjseg
Deck the Malls


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quote:

Then I realized what he was talking about. We have a discipleship game that has cardboard pieces.

Is this game like battleship?
"Deuteronomy, 3:18!"
"Hit! You sank Peter! (Like a stone!)

quote:
It’s not a part to fill the void in a boardgame, but rather it’s a Savior to fill that Godshaped hole in their dry, thirsty souls.
Godshaped hole? I want to start a band, just to name it that.
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Richard W
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
That obnoxious co-worker that no one can stand is crying out.
And once he's got Jesus as a friend, you won't need to talk to him again. Everybody wins!

quote:
So is the friendly, moral grandmother who always does everything just right.
Wouldn't she already be a Christian in glurgeland? Surely she can't be a friendly, moral atheist who always does everything just right?
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Major D. Saster
The First USA Noel


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Does this horrible sinner know that *all* card games are of the Devil ?

--------------------
Desperate, but not serious.

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Yleemjseg
Deck the Malls


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Oh oh! And wouldn't having a large godshaped hole make me holier than thou?

Hee hee!

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Spamamander in a pear tree
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Yleemjseg:
Oh oh! And wouldn't having a large godshaped hole make me holier than thou?

Hee hee!

I'm laughing so danged hard... but that's still oh so very fish-worthy. [fish]

--------------------
"There is a race between mankind and the universe. Mankind is trying to build bigger, better, faster, and more foolproof machines. The universe is trying to build bigger, better, and faster fools. So far the universe is winning." -Albert Einstein

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Ieuan ab Arthur
The First USA Noel


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Hi All:

quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
There are people all around us, desperate and exasperated, just like my son Jacob.

Hey, if you had a parent who created glurge like this, you'd be desperate and exasperated too. [Big Grin]

Ta ra 'wan,


Ieuan "I found Jesus at the 5 & dime" ab Arthur

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"I e-mail or I don't e-mail. The magic just happens" - From OP in We've Got Mail

Y Gwir Yn Erbyn Y Byd

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guruwan2b
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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I think he is under my bed. That was where I last heard his name......


guru "Ok.... I lied.... it was over the checkbook" wan2b

--------------------
Too much of this navel gazing and we'll disappear up our own arses.
Danvers Carew

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Ana Ng
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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[lol] Guru...

That made me think of Bill Cosby's bit about Jesus Christ and Goddamnit.

--------------------
My great grandfather planted that tree!

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Arriah
The First USA Noel


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To everyone in this thread:
Mocha Frappuchinos are not meant to be snorted!

--------------------
Conforming meant that everyone liked you except yourself
Rebecca

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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
“Can you help me find Jesus?”
The restraining order says no, leave him the NFBSK alone already.

But the romantic in me says yes.

--------------------
People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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Dropbear
Angels from the Realms so Glurgy


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I wonder if there's also a Satan card. I can't imagine what would happen if the freak who wrote the OP had his son come in to say: "Can you help me find Satan? I can't play if I don't have Satan!"

I reckon it'd be the bell, book and candle for sure.

Dropbear

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" The villagers had said justice had been done, and she'd lost patience and told them to go home, then, and pray to whatever gods they believed in that it was never done to them. -- (Terry Pratchett)

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trollface
The Bills of St. Mary's


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quote:
In a way, each of us has an El Guapo to face. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous man who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be the actual El Guapo!


--------------------
seriously , everyone on here , just trys to give someone crap about something they do !! , its shitting me to tears.

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SheepOfDoom
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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A few simple substitutions can make this much more interesting:

======
Recently my five year old boy came into the room with a look of desperation and exasperation on his face.

Before I could even ask him the obligatory parenting question, “what’s wrong?”, he cried out, “Can you help me find my semi-automatic?”

Needless to say, I was caught off guard. I certainly wasn’t expecting this question at this particular moment in time. Could my little guy really be asking me about fire-arms? He had shown no signs of genuine interest in shooting things at his young age.

Nonetheless, I was ready to share my collection with him. You could tell I was ready by my response...

“Huh?”

Jacob repeated, “Can you help me find my semi-automatic? I’ve lost the semi-automatic that clips onto the drug dealer”

Then I realized what he was talking about. We have a grand theft auto game that has plastic pieces. One of the gamepieces is a small semi-automatic that has the word “Gangsta” printed on it, and apparently it was missing.

“Yes, I sure can.” With a little bit of pointing in the right direction, Jacob soon found the gun piece he was looking for. (And I continue to long for the day when He finds THE true joy of heavy munitions!)

You know, it’s not only Jacob, but there are countless others who walk into our lives with that same look of desperation and exasperation on their faces.

They may never utter the words with their lips, but surely if we listen, we can hear their very lives crying out to us, “Can you help me find a gun?”

That lonely recluse who lives down the road is crying out. So is that pregnant teenager. And the prostitute. And the drunkard.

That obnoxious co-worker that no one can stand is crying out. So is the friendly, moral grandmother who always does everything just right.

There are teachers and students, husbands and wives, employees and employers, teammates and coaches. There are close friends and casual acquaintances. There’s the clerk at Wal-Mart, the barber, and the librarian. The guy standing next to you in the elevator and the girl in front of you in the grocery store checkout line.

They’re crying out with their lives, “Can you help me find a gun?”

How will we respond? Will we nod our heads politely, maybe offer a puzzled “huh” and move on with our busy lives? Or, will we point them in the right direction and lead them to a black market gun dealer?!

There are people all around us, desperate and exasperated, just like my son Jacob.

Only they’re not looking for a piece of plastic, they’re just looking for a piece. They’re not searching for something missing from a game, they’re searching for something missing from their lives. It’s not a part to fill the void in a boardgame, but rather it’s a weapon to fill that Uzishaped hole in the belt around their saggy pants.

They’re crying out, “Can you help me find a gun?” May we be ready with an answer: “Yes, I sure can!”
=============

Sheep

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NZUL
Deck the Malls


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I could buy some religious nutter thinking I'm crying out with my life "I need to find Jesus", but one thing I sure as hell am NOT crying out is "come and tell me about your Jesus friend".

--------------------
"We don't keep a certified whale-vomit expert on staff." - Larry Penny, Director, Natural Resources Department, Town of East Hampton

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atimnie
I Saw Three Shipments


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quote:
That lonely recluse who lives down the road is crying out. So is that pregnant teenager. And the prostitute. And the drunkard.

That obnoxious co-worker that no one can stand is crying out. So is the friendly, moral grandmother who always does everything just right.

There are teachers and students, husbands and wives, employees and employers, teammates and coaches. There are close friends and casual acquaintances. There’s the clerk at Wal-Mart, the barber, and the librarian. The guy standing next to you in the elevator and the girl in front of you in the grocery store checkout line.

ALRIGHT, WE GET IT, EVERYONE'S CRYING OUT! JEEZE!
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Drainfluid
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Yleemjseg:
quote:
It’s not a part to fill the void in a boardgame, but rather it’s a Savior to fill that Godshaped hole in their dry, thirsty souls.
Godshaped hole? I want to start a band, just to name it that.
Its got to be a punk band though, it wouldn't really work as a country and western band.
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Mosherette
Deck the Malls


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I spoonerismed that as a hole-shaped god and almost philosophied my head into exploding.

--------------------
Silence should never under any circumstances be construed as agreement. A lot of the time, it's simply a reflection that someone just said something so stupid that no response could possibly do it justice. - Ramblin' Dave

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Randa Roo
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Canuckistan:
quote:
“Can you help me find Jesus?”
The restraining order says no, leave him the NFBSK alone already.

But the romantic in me says yes.

Canuck, don't you know that restraining orders are just another way of saying 'I love you?'

--------------------
'I'm the decider... I decide what's best.'

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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Randa Roo:
Canuck, don't you know that restraining orders are just another way of saying 'I love you?'

"See? Even the judge agrees with me.

You don't want to disappoint the judge, do you? Now kiss me!"

--------------------
People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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Artemis
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
Then I realized what he was talking about. We have a discipleship game that has cardboard pieces. One of the gamepieces is a small card that has the word “Jesus” printed on it, and apparently it was missing.

I feel really bad for this kid. Didn't they have any fun games? I mean, he's five. What about Candyland and Trouble and Snakes 'n Ladders? Knowing this family, it's probably Paradisio and Eternal Damnation and Snake Handlin' 'n Money Lending.

--------------------
"You can't play Electro-magnetic Golf according to the rules of Centrifugal Bumble Puppy."
-Mustapha Mond, "Brave New World"

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The Ota Faction
Happy Holly Days


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quote:
That lonely recluse who lives down the road is crying out. So is that pregnant teenager. And the prostitute. And the drunkard.
This is so becoming my new sig line.

--------------------
"Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are." - Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
"That lonely recluse who lives down the road is crying out. So is that pregnant teenager. And the prostitute. And the drunkard."
Join the Free State Project - I did!

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DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Artemis:
Didn't they have any fun games? I mean, he's five. .

FUN??!!! FUN??!!! Having fun is a satanic activity that only godless heathens participate in! [Big Grin] [Wink]


Dawn--It might lead to dancing!--Storm

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Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!!

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noreen
We Three Blings


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quote:
That lonely recluse who lives down the road is crying out.
This recluse who lives down the road only cries out when these cretinous yahoos knock on my door and ask if I know Jesus.

--------------------
"No matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the computer will say, 'Specify type of goat.'"

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I'mNotDedalus
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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There is no Jesus, only Zuul.

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The salty fragrance of L’Eau D’I’mNotDedalus - made entirely of and entirely for sea turtles.

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kmcm
We Three Blings


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quote:
Originally posted by I'mNotDedalus:
There is no Jesus, only Zuul.

Is he king of the penguins?

--------------------
Of course this land is dangerous! All of the animals are capably murderous. Especially the penguins.

i'm a figment of my own imagination, sometimes i don't exist

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Kid Kilowatt
Deck the Malls


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The "drunkard"? What about the cardsharp, the fellow down the lane with dropsy, and the smithy's wife?

--------------------
The book says, "We might be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us."
- Magnolia

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atimnie
I Saw Three Shipments


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Or for that matter, the smithy himself. As if I care anymore. Or like I ever cared.
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Beastly Despot
Deck the Malls


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Well, I don't know about them wanting to see Jesus, but let me tell you: They don't want to see your penis. Man, don't even get me started....

/quickly shuts off computer because probation officer is knocking on the door/

quote:
Originally posted by atimnie:
quote:
That lonely recluse who lives down the road is crying out. So is that pregnant teenager. And the prostitute. And the drunkard.

That obnoxious co-worker that no one can stand is crying out. So is the friendly, moral grandmother who always does everything just right.

There are teachers and students, husbands and wives, employees and employers, teammates and coaches. There are close friends and casual acquaintances. There’s the clerk at Wal-Mart, the barber, and the librarian. The guy standing next to you in the elevator and the girl in front of you in the grocery store checkout line.

ALRIGHT, WE GET IT, EVERYONE'S CRYING OUT! JEEZE!


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"I have a cunning plan"

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Anyte
Jingle Bell Hock


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You know, I was half expecting the old "Jesus is missing and they think we did it." joke.

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Too broke to pay attention

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TrishDaDish
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Sounds like this kid's board game was lent to him by Ned Flanders.

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I would prefer not to.
My blog

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