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Author Topic: Jesus Test
Kahuna Burger
I Saw Three Shipments


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Got this from my Aunt (who, I must note, has never once sent me anything personal to me or actual information about her since she got my email addy). The silly clipart jesus images have been (sadly?) removed.

******

HE is the only one that can save this country from the ones that want him removed from the government. Our great nation will not stand if we delete HIM from all aspects of our government as the atheists want.


Jesus Test

This is an easy test, you score 100 or zero. It's your choice. If you aren't ashamed to do this, please follow the directions.

Jesus said, "if you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father."

Not ashamed pass this on ... only if you mean it.

Yes, I do Love God.

He is my source of existence and Savior.

He keeps me functioning each and every day .

Without Him, I will be nothing.

Without Him, I am nothing but with Him I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Phil 4:13


This is the simplest test. . If you love God and are not ashamed of all the marvelous things he has done for you.....

Send this to ten people and the person who sent it to you!

Posts: 96 | From: Attleboro, MA | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Jesus said, "if you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father."
What if I'm just ashamed of the people who claim to be the friends of Jesus, but are really just around him because he's so popular? You know, the wannabe losers, who like to proclaim loudly that they're tight with the J-dawg?

Can I be ashamed of them and still get 100 on the test? Can I?

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People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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Doug4.7
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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quote:
Originally posted by Canuckistan:
quote:
Jesus said, "if you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father."
What if I'm just ashamed of the people who claim to be the friends of Jesus, but are really just around him because he's so popular? You know, the wannabe losers, who like to proclaim loudly that they're tight with the J-dawg?

Can I be ashamed of them and still get 100 on the test? Can I?

I would say yes, but others might disagree....

--------------------
And now for something completely different...

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GenYus
Away in a Manager's Special


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quote:
Originally posted by Canuckistan:
quote:
Jesus said, "if you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father."
What if I'm just ashamed of the people who claim to be the friends of Jesus, but are really just around him because he's so popular? You know, the wannabe losers, who like to proclaim loudly that they're tight with the J-dawg?

Can I be ashamed of them and still get 100 on the test? Can I?

No. For Matthew 25:44-45 says:

44 They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'

45 He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of My posse, you did not do for Me.'

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IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan

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Buckleupp
Away in a Manager


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Somehow I suspect Jesus wouldn't be thrilled with this, but again, others might disagree...sometimes I believe that with every one of these types of emails that is forwarded, someone feels a little less guilty about never helping the poor, or about failing to forgive someone (me included). I know not everyone who forwards this is in that boat. But from what I know of Jesus, emailing just doesn't seem to be something he would have commanded or appreciated.

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HA! That's so funny I forgot to laugh...excluding that first Ha. -Stewie Griffin

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Fantine
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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[hijack]
Yesterday, after receiving something similar to the OP from her, I sent my younger sister an e-mail asking her to take me off her forward list. I don't know what she does at work all day that gives her time to constantly forward these stupid glurgy things. She responded, "Well, I'm sorry you suddenly find your family so much of a burden. I don't know why you hate me."
[/hijack]

--------------------
"I was raised to be charming, not sincere."
--Cinderella's Prince, Into the Woods, by Stephen Sondheim

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The Fourth Man
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by GenYus:
quote:
Originally posted by Canuckistan:
What if I'm just ashamed of the people who claim to be the friends of Jesus, but are really just around him because he's so popular? You know, the wannabe losers, who like to proclaim loudly that they're tight with the J-dawg?

Can I be ashamed of them and still get 100 on the test? Can I?

No. For Matthew 25:44-45 says:

44 They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'

45 He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of My posse, you did not do for Me.'

But glurge forwarders are not hungry, or thirsty, or strangers, or needing clothes, or sick, or in prison. They need to STFU, so we should help them to STFU. [Smile]

--------------------
If you keep trying, you'll eventually succeed. Therefore, the more you fail, the higher your chances of success.
-- Jacques Rouxel, 1931-2004 RIP :(

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Doug4.7
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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quote:
Originally posted by Fantine:
"I don't know why you hate me."

Or Jesus.... [fish]

--------------------
And now for something completely different...

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GenYus
Away in a Manager's Special


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quote:
Originally posted by The Fourth Man:
But glurge forwarders are not hungry, or thirsty, or strangers, or needing clothes, or sick, or in prison. They need to STFU, so we should help them to STFU. [Smile]

Updated version:

44 They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison or not getting an email, and did not help you?'

45 He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of My posse, you did not do for Me.'

--------------------
IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan

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Kahuna Burger
I Saw Three Shipments


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quote:
Originally posted by Fantine:
[hijack]
Yesterday, after receiving something similar to the OP from her, I sent my younger sister an e-mail asking her to take me off her forward list. I don't know what she does at work all day that gives her time to constantly forward these stupid glurgy things. She responded, "Well, I'm sorry you suddenly find your family so much of a burden. I don't know why you hate me."
[/hijack]

That is so typical of glurgers... I have to admit I laughed at it, just because its so perfectly "I'm a self righteous forwarder"...
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Fantine
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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I have to admit that I laughed, too, Kahuna. It really is typical of glurgers. It seems to me that most of those things end by telling you if you don't forward it to a certain number of people, you have no heart or nobody loves you, implying that you're going to die friendless and alone (and will also probably go to hell).

And Doug4.7: YOMANK!

--------------------
"I was raised to be charming, not sincere."
--Cinderella's Prince, Into the Woods, by Stephen Sondheim

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Shoebox
I Saw Three Shipments


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I love God and am not ashamed of all the marvelous things he has done for me.....

...and I'm still not going to forward this silly, pretentious email on.

[waits patiently for lightning bolt to strike]

--------------------
"Want you to know that if I had been there and they had of cooked you, I would not of eaten any." - Porkypine, Pogo

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Esprise Me
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Doug4.7:
quote:
Originally posted by Fantine:
"I don't know why you hate me."

Or Jesus.... [fish]
I bet you hate America, too. And freedom. Why do you hate freedom so much?

I've mostly managed to distance myself from people like this, but every now and then, I get a little reminder that reactionary imbeciles are popping up everywhere, like rubber creatures in some cosmic Whack-A-Mole game. I fear for the future of the human race.

--------------------
"If God wrote it, the grammar must be infallible. Perhaps it is we who are mistaken." -MapleLeaf

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Major D. Saster
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Kahuna Burger:
Our great nation will not stand if we delete HIM from all aspects of our government as the atheists want.

Atheists ?... like this one, maybe :

quote:
When a religion is good, I conceive that it will support itself; and, when it cannot support itself, and God does not take care to support, so that its professors are obliged to call for the help of the civil power, it is a sign, I apprehend, of its being a bad one.

Benjamin Franklin

...or this one :

quote:
...the path of true piety is so plain as to require but little political direction.

George Washington

..or this one :

quote:
"Is uniformity attainable? Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned; yet we have not advanced one inch towards uniformity. What has been the effect of coercion? To make one half the world fools and the other half hypocrites. To support roguery and error all over the earth."

Thomas Jefferson

... or this one :

quote:
"Where do we find a precept in the Bible for Creeds, Confessions, Doctrines and Oaths, and whole carloads of other trumpery that we find religion encumbered with in these days?"

John Adams

... or this one :

quote:
"As to religion, I hold it to be the indispensable duty of government to protect all conscientious protesters thereof, and I know of no other business government has to do therewith."

Thomas Paine

... or this one :

quote:
"During almost fifteen centuries has the legal establishment of Christianity been on trial. What have been its fruits? More or less in all places, pride and indolence in the Clergy, ignorance and servility in the laity; in both, superstition, bigotry and persecution."

James Madison



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Desperate, but not serious.

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Dog Friendly
Carol of the Bills


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Major D., that was brilliant. My profoundest compliments.

Dog (Jesus wept) Friendly

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"Nobody ever got stoned and beat up his old lady" -- Spence, snapdragonfly's friend

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PallasAthena
Xboxing Day


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Major D,

Those people must really hate America. [Wink]

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"How do you make chocolate? You take dark chocolate, you mix it with white milk, and it becomes a delicious drink. That is the chocolate I am talking about." --Ray Nagin

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DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Is this test multiple choice, true/false or essay?

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Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!!

Posts: 4771 | From: The Berkeley of the East Coast: Montgomery County MD | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
   

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