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» Hello » Urban Legends » Glurge Gallery » The Miracle of the Heart (Page 2)

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Author Topic: The Miracle of the Heart
Tyrone Slothrop
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale

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Originally posted by Eddylizard:
Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop:
God and Jesus must be members of OPEC.

I would have thought quite the opposite. Now God and Jesus have disclosed their everlasting fuel supply for cars, OPEC will not be happy. Once again God has triumphed over the ebil Arabs - let their oil stay in the ground, and their economies wither. [Big Grin]
No no no no.

See, God was driving a fully fueled invisible Hummer alongside the woman's car while Jesus floated along on a hover board, siphoning fuel out of the Hummer and into the car.

While Jesus was going about his business, God was fiddling about with his blackberry, investing in BP stock and sending dem ebil a-rabs reassuring e-mails.


"The universe works on a math equation that never even ever really even ends in the end"

Posts: 32 | From: Colorado | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Let There Be PCs on Earth

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Ah, Canadian themed glurge is back. How I've missed them!

"Lord," I began, "Here I am again, nearly out of gas, and I know good and well you tried to warm me to fill up before leaving Moose Jaw! Lord, I honestly thought there would be gas out there! Lord, . . ." And I continued to babble.
"Warm me"? I think babbling is an understatement.

I would prefer not to.
My blog

Posts: 4789 | From: Rhode Island | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale

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I was really stressing out about a work project I had due soon so I turned to God and asked "I know I have been slack and havent done any work on this project I should have started a month ago, please help me."

I heard Him: "Give ME the problem. Let ME take care of it!"

I'd like to say that I gave in then and there, but I didn't. God and I proceeded to argue for several more minutes. In fact, I didn't stop until my boss sent me an email asking for my progress report!! Great! Now what! I had no options whatsoever. Except . . . Except what God was telling me to do! And I gave in. "Okay, Lord!" I said with a sigh. "It's Your problem! I accept whatever you want to teach me with this! Thank you for taking care of us!"

So I surfed Snopes all day..

A week later and God still hasnt got around to sorting out my project... I wonder if my boss will accept that excuse.

I do find it very funny that the author thinks that god sees fit to save her holiday but He doesnt bother saving the children dying of cancer and disease. Its good to see that He has His priorities right. ;p


Posts: 8 | From: Australia | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Santa Mari-a
Happy Holly Days

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Originally posted by Dropbear:
Originally posted by snopes:
This is an example of the kind of glurge I find the most distasteful: "I found myself in a bad spot -- not through fate or chance or the machinations of evil persons, but because I was deliberate and foolhardy about placing myself there. I made no attempt to prevail upon my own wisdom and strength in acting responsibly or extricating myself from the situation. Instead, I did nothing, and a merciful God came to rescue me."

Anyone for personal responsibility? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

- snopes

And the thing is that such a message is entirely consistent with the mainstream christian message, ie: people are sinful, wicked, errant, flawed creatures who get themselves into trouble and the big, kind, God comes to save them.

This 'we are all doomed if God does not rescue us mentality' then leads to all the other problems inherent in christianity such as the practice of trawling through the bible to come up with some set of rules to define what God wants us to do (eg: avoid teh gay) - which somehow always end up supporting the trawler's personal predjudices (funny that).

Personal responsibility and the mainstream christianity are, in my view essentially inconsistent.


The saying "God helps those who help themselves" isn't biblical; it's an adaptation of the moral from an Aesop fable (where it was "The gods help those who help themselves").

But I don't think mainstream Christianity encourages people to forego personal responsibility. Yes, people are fallen and sinful and need to look to God for help. But I've never heard anyone suggest that God will always intervene to change a bad situation or save someone from the consequences of bad choices if that person will just "let go and let God."

I agree this is a dumb story. There's trusting in God and then there's testing God, which Christians are told not to do. The driver seemed to be doing the latter.

Si hoc comprehendere potes, gratias age magistro Latinae.

Posts: 1720 | From: Charlottesville, VA | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale

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Originally posted by Mouse:
Let's not drag Willy Wonka's good name in the muck.

Let's not drag God's name into this muck! [Smile]
Hey, cool! First post! I knew a woman who experienced something similar to this. She was driving in Virginia, and she knew she needed gas, but rather than just being stupid, she accidentally missed the ramp to get to the gas station. So rather than arrogance, it was a misunderstanding of road signs. The woman in this glurge was guilty of arrogance, and I would think that the only reason God wouldn't let her get stranded, is that there were innocent people in the car, who did of course have the bad luck of being related to her.

Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, miserere nobis.

Posts: 1 | From: Salem, Oregon or Helena, Montana | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
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