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Author Topic: The Miracle of the Heart
snopes
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I glanced down at the gas gauge for the hundredth time in the past ten minutes. The needle seemed to be plummeting downwards, and with each passing kilometer, it came nearer to its final resting point: "E".

Under normal circumstances this might not have been a problem. I would simply have pulled into the nearest gas station and filled up. But these weren't normal circumstances. The next gas station was 120 km down the road, and at the rate the gauge was dropping, I'd be lucky to make it a quarter that far.

I sighed for the hundredth time in ten minutes. What were we going to do? In my mind I immediately began to chide myself for my poor judgment. When we had started out on this trek to see what the Saskatchewan tour book described as "desert-like conditions with cactus and sand dunes", we had known we didn't have much gas, and we had also known that there might not be too many gas stations along the way! But ever the cocky one, I pushed these worries aside. After all, this was farm country, and farmers had to buy gas somewhere! Well I still don't know where all of those farmers buy their gas, but certainly not on that road leading out of Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan!

My eye dropped to the gauge again. Another sigh. The needle was even lower. There was nothing left to do buy pray, and that I began to do: Fervently! "Lord," I began, "Here I am again, nearly out of gas, and I know good and well you tried to warm me to fill up before leaving Moose Jaw! Lord, I honestly thought there would be gas out there! Lord, . . ." And I continued to babble. Over the back of my babble I could hear someone trying to interrupt, but it wasn't until I hushed long enough to listen that I could understand the words: "Lyn, give ME the problem. Let ME take care of it!"

"But . . . Lord . . . I KNOW You! You just might look at this as an opportunity to teach me a lesson, and no matter how badly I need to learn that lesson, NOT HERE LORD! Running out of gas would ruin our vacation!"

But when I stopped for breath, I heard Him again: Lyn, give ME the problem. Let ME take care of it!"

I'd like to say that I gave in then and there, but I didn't. God and I proceeded to argue for several more minutes. In fact, I didn't stop until the "YOU NEED GAS" light came on! Great! Now what! I had no options whatsoever. Except . . . Except what God was telling me to do! And I gave in. "Okay, Lord!" I said with a sigh. "It's Your problem! I accept whatever you want to teach me with this! Thank you for taking care of us!"

My son, who had obviously been watching the gas gauge from the back seat, immediately called out: "Mom! The gas light just went off!"

Sure enough, it had. The moment I surrendered that gas situation to God, the light went off.

We made it back to Moose Jaw without incident, but when we pulled into the first available gas station, my husband put 79 litres of gas into our van. Our van's tank holds exactly 79 litres.

"We were running on air, mom!" Piped in my youngest son.

"No, son," I said, rather humbly, "We were running on Jesus!"

The doubt didn't set in until I was making my daily run around the campground the next morning. I found myself thinking, "You know, I bet we wouldn't have run out of gas anyway! There may not have been a "miracle". We had enough gas! After all, you always have a few litres left in the tank when the light comes on!"

Ashamed of my thoughts, I turned to God, fully expecting Him to assure me that a miracle had, indeed, occurred. He didn't. Instead, what I heard from the Lord was this: "What does it matter if there was a miracle in the gas tank or not?"

"Huh?" Cried my heart. "What do you mean, 'what does it matter'? It matters a lot! So many people just write off your miracles as things that would have happened anyway. I want to be able to prove to the world that You are still in the miracle business!"

God's reply? "It doesn't matter if it was a miracle in your gas tank or not! A miracle still occurred!"

"Huh?" I repeated.

"A miracle still occurred!" He repeated. "You gave Me the problem. You let Me worry about the gas. You passed the test!"

I nodded my head, but I was still confused. "And so . . ."

"When you surrendered the gas to me, you were filled with peace!"

True enough.

"You stopped worrying and fretting!"

"Yes . . . But . . ."

"The important thing that happened yesterday was NOT that you DIDN'T run out of gas, but that you DID succeed in surrendering a huge problem with horrible significance into My hands! You passed the test. The miracle happened in your heart!"

It only took a moment of contemplation for me to understand: I had been looking for a miracle in the gas tank; God had been looking to work one in my heart. It didn't matter whether we really had would have run out of gas or not. A miracle had most certainly taken place!

The next time you are running on air, either literally or figuratively, remember to give God the problem. Only then will you see the biggest miracle, the miracle of the heart!

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Wolf333
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
"No, son," I said, rather humbly, "We were running on Jesus!"

In the process of not shooting beer out of my nose (thus saving my keyboard), I ended up spilling the beer that I was holding.
Snopes, YOMANB (you owe me a new beer).

--------------------
"We take evil really seriously"

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Hubert Cumberdale
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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So this woman begs God for help, argues with him when he offers it, then claims he didn't even do anything when he does. Real nice.
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Zabia
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
"When you surrendered the gas to me, you were filled with peace!"

True enough.


[lol] [lol]

I find that when I surrender the gas I feel much better. But can you really blame your farts on God?

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We frettered around like farm animals, looking around for formulas and father figures. -Twilight Zone

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NZUL
Deck the Malls


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God-believers tell me: Do you actually 'converse' with God in such clear eloquence? I always thought if there was meaning coming from God to the believer, it was a feeling, a sensing, more of an intuitive understanding of what He wants than a voice saying "Hi there, God here. Listen, move one step left."

--------------------
"We don't keep a certified whale-vomit expert on staff." - Larry Penny, Director, Natural Resources Department, Town of East Hampton

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snopes
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This is an example of the kind of glurge I find the most distasteful: "I found myself in a bad spot -- not through fate or chance or the machinations of evil persons, but because I was deliberate and foolhardy about placing myself there. I made no attempt to prevail upon my own wisdom and strength in acting responsibly or extricating myself from the situation. Instead, I did nothing, and a merciful God came to rescue me."

Anyone for personal responsibility? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

- snopes

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Dropbear
Angels from the Realms so Glurgy


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
This is an example of the kind of glurge I find the most distasteful: "I found myself in a bad spot -- not through fate or chance or the machinations of evil persons, but because I was deliberate and foolhardy about placing myself there. I made no attempt to prevail upon my own wisdom and strength in acting responsibly or extricating myself from the situation. Instead, I did nothing, and a merciful God came to rescue me."

Anyone for personal responsibility? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

- snopes

And the thing is that such a message is entirely consistent with the mainstream christian message, ie: people are sinful, wicked, errant, flawed creatures who get themselves into trouble and the big, kind, God comes to save them.

This 'we are all doomed if God does not rescue us mentality' then leads to all the other problems inherent in christianity such as the practice of trawling through the bible to come up with some set of rules to define what God wants us to do (eg: avoid teh gay) - which somehow always end up supporting the trawler's personal predjudices (funny that).

Personal responsibility and the mainstream christianity are, in my view essentially inconsistent.

Dropbear

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" The villagers had said justice had been done, and she'd lost patience and told them to go home, then, and pray to whatever gods they believed in that it was never done to them. -- (Terry Pratchett)

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Shoebox
I Saw Three Shipments


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Oh, man, this is funny...

quote:
God-believers tell me: Do you actually 'converse' with God in such clear eloquence?
Some of us do. But then the nice men in the white coats come round with the medication, and all's quiet once more.

quote:
I'd like to say that I gave in then and there, but I didn't. God and I proceeded to argue for several more minutes...

...Sure enough, it had. The moment I surrendered that gas situation to God, the light went off.

God as obnoxious game-show host. Lovely. "Dingdindingdingging! You've won...A FULL TANK OF GAS!!"

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"Want you to know that if I had been there and they had of cooked you, I would not of eaten any." - Porkypine, Pogo

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Eddylizard
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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I can see the headlines:

"God solves energy crisis. Gas prices plummet!"

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"Ladies and gentlemen, this is what is commonly known as money. It comes in all sizes, colours, and denominations - like people."

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Strawberry Limeade
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
I glanced down at the gas gauge for the hundredth time in the past ten minutes....
I sighed for the hundredth time in ten minutes.

With this woman looking at the gas gauge and sighing every six seconds, I'm amazed God could get a word in edgewise.

Strawberry "Ma'am...ma'am...up here...ma'am?" Limeade

--------------------
"My artist statement is incomprehensible and therefore full of deep significance." - Calvin

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I'm Dreaming of a White Canvas
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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quote:
"No, son," I said, rather humbly, "We were running on Jesus!"
Hmmm, I wonder how many miles per Jesus they get?

--------------------
"You hold the Prince so I can duct tape his bottom to keep the bugs out." - My Mom

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Major D. Saster
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Al-luring White Canvas:
quote:
"No, son," I said, rather humbly, "We were running on Jesus!"
Hmmm, I wonder how many miles per Jesus they get?
Was it Jesus leaded or unleaded ?

No. Really. I wonder how many innocents died, how many natural disasters occured and how many various evil things happened while God was busy running this stupid lady's car on an empty tank.

An earthquake killed 10'000 in South America or elsewhere ?

That doesn't matter. Mrs Jone's vacation was saved.

These believers should learn to act like adults, stop calling God for every s**tty problem they have and take care of themselves.

The idiots should get billed just like the ones who call the firemen for nothing.

--------------------
Desperate, but not serious.

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Pogue Ma-humbug
Happy Christmas (Malls are Open)


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
Anyone for personal responsibility? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

- snopes

OOO!ooo! Pick me! Pick me! I know! I know!!

It's God helps those who help themselves.

Am I right? Huh? Huh?

Pogue

--------------------
Let's drink to the causes in your life:
Your family, your friends, the union, your wife.

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Major D. Saster
The First USA Noel


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... Or if you like to place french quotes in a conversation :

"Aide-toi, le Ciel t'aidera."

Jean de La Fontaine
"Le charretier embourbé"

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Desperate, but not serious.

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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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There was no miracle.

Her gas gauge was broken.

God didn't save her vacation; he allowed a dangerous vehicle to stay on the road. God should be charged

Oh, and Jesus too, for being an unrecognized source of fuel. And for tax evasion -- I'm sure that when you fill your tank on Jesus, you avoid paying any sort of gas or sales tax. Thereby depriving the good people of Saskatchewan of money for their social services, including healthcare.

This woman is a common criminal!

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People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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JFB
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
"We were running on Jesus!"
I say false: Jesus won't be fossil fuel for at least another million years!
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Kahuna Burger
I Saw Three Shipments


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
This is an example of the kind of glurge I find the most distasteful: "I found myself in a bad spot -- not through fate or chance or the machinations of evil persons, but because I was deliberate and foolhardy about placing myself there. I made no attempt to prevail upon my own wisdom and strength in acting responsibly or extricating myself from the situation. Instead, I did nothing, and a merciful God came to rescue me."

Anyone for personal responsibility? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

- snopes

"I sent you a fuel gauge, a gas station and a little red light - what the hell are you doing here?!?!"

(is The Man By The River story glurge?)

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snopes
Return! Return! Return!


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quote:
"No, son," I said, rather humbly, "We were running on Jesus!"
And if the Republicans ever take back control of Congress, you can bet the first thing they'll do is crank up the price of Jesus.

- snopes

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GenYus
Away in a Manager's Special


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So are alternative fuels the path to Hell?

Gen "Get thee behind me hydrogen fuel cell" Yus

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IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan

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JFB
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
And if the Republicans ever take back control of Congress, you can bet the first thing they'll do is crank up the price of Jesus.

- snopes

No, they'll lower the price by drilling for Jesus in ANWR.
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Doug4.7
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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quote:
Originally posted by Canuckistan:
There was no miracle.

Her gas gauge was broken.

I wonder if it was a Taurus....


Note, our Taurus gas gauge goes up and down, regardless of how much gas we have. We just fill it every time we get above 300 miles.

--------------------
And now for something completely different...

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Barbara R.
Deck the Malls


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This story is so cornball and campy that I can't help laughing at it!

The idea of a gas miracle is so far-out! This is one from the "Twilight Zone"!

Rod Serling, eat your heart out!

Barbara R.

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WBenson
I Am Curious, Yellowtail


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quote:
"No, son," I said, rather humbly, "We were running on Jesus!"
There's a church near me with a big sticker on the back of their van that says "Powered by Jesus"... It must be a new model.
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Mouse
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
This is an example of the kind of glurge I find the most distasteful: "I found myself in a bad spot -- not through fate or chance or the machinations of evil persons, but because I was deliberate and foolhardy about placing myself there. I made no attempt to prevail upon my own wisdom and strength in acting responsibly or extricating myself from the situation. Instead, I did nothing, and a merciful God came to rescue me."

Anyone for personal responsibility? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

- snopes

I agree absolutely, Snopes. Though this glurge might serve as a handy explanation for why there's evil in the world. Wonder why God hasn't done anything about Iraq? It's because he's too busy helping idiots who haven't heard that if you don't fill up, your car will run out of gas.

Mouse the "He feeds the sparrows of the field, but he doesn't sit there and cram worms into their mouths." Louse

--------------------
"You see? The mysteries of the Universe are revealed when you break stuff." Coop from MegasXLR

"I distrust who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." -- Susan B. Anthony

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atimnie
I Saw Three Shipments


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quote:
I sighed for the hundredth time in ten minutes.
That's not sighing, that's heavy breathing.
quote:
"A miracle still occurred!" He repeated. "You gave Me the problem. You let Me worry about the gas. You passed the test!"...
quote:
"The important thing that happened yesterday was NOT that you DIDN'T run out of gas, but that you DID succeed in surrendering a huge problem with horrible significance into My hands! You passed the test.
God sounds a lot like Willy Wonka, don't he?
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Mouse
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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Let's not drag Willy Wonka's good name in the muck.

--------------------
"You see? The mysteries of the Universe are revealed when you break stuff." Coop from MegasXLR

"I distrust who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." -- Susan B. Anthony

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DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Was the radio playing Jesus Take the Wheel at the time?

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Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!!

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Dragon's Jewel
I Saw Three Shipments


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I find that Jesus as an alternative fuel source can be very expensive, as it requires you to deposit a few of your brain cells every time you fill up. Apparently.

--------------------
Tyger, Tyger burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Hath framed thy fearful symmetry?

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nurple
We Three Blings


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quote:
Originally posted by Dragon's Jewel:
I find that Jesus as an alternative fuel source can be very expensive, as it requires you to deposit a few of your brain cells every time you fill up. Apparently.

How so?

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"You better respect the Rap or the Rap won't respect you." Ledatru

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Dragon's Jewel
I Saw Three Shipments


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quote:
How so?
'Twas a joke. The idea being that the woman in the OP referred to the fact that they had been running on Jesus, so I used that statement in a literal sense by referencing Jesus as a fuel source, and then went on to say that someone who does that might not be the most intelligent person because they would be like the woman in the OP, i.e. not intelligent. I was basically impying that the woman (and not christians) was not the smartest bee in the hive. That's why I used the word apparently at the end. It made sense in my head.

You know, I'm not saying that I'm any kind of professional comedian, but my jokes are the complete opposite of funny when I have to explain them.

--------------------
Tyger, Tyger burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Hath framed thy fearful symmetry?

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nurple
We Three Blings


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Thank you for the explanation.

--------------------
"You better respect the Rap or the Rap won't respect you." Ledatru

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UrbanReindeer
Deck the Malls


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I don't care if it rains or freezes,
Long as I got the Spirit of Jesus
Filling up the gas tank of my car.
I can drive a hundred miles from anywhere
'Long as I got that hev'nly fuel there
Filling up the gas tank of my car!


[fish] Someone had to say it.

Oh and Mouse: "He feeds the sparrows of the field, but he doesn't sit there and cram worms into their mouths." Brilliant. Siggy?

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"He feeds the sparrows of the field, but He doesn't sit there and cram worms into their mouths." -- Mouse

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Mouse
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by UrbanReindeer:

Oh and Mouse: "He feeds the sparrows of the field, but he doesn't sit there and cram worms into their mouths." Brilliant. Siggy?

Go for it. [Smile]

--------------------
"You see? The mysteries of the Universe are revealed when you break stuff." Coop from MegasXLR

"I distrust who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." -- Susan B. Anthony

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Tyrone Slothrop
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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God and Jesus must be members of OPEC.

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"The universe works on a math equation that never even ever really even ends in the end"

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Eddylizard
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Tyrone Slothrop:
God and Jesus must be members of OPEC.

I would have thought quite the opposite. Now God and Jesus have disclosed their everlasting fuel supply for cars, OPEC will not be happy. Once again God has triumphed over the ebil Arabs - let their oil stay in the ground, and their economies wither. [Big Grin]

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"Ladies and gentlemen, this is what is commonly known as money. It comes in all sizes, colours, and denominations - like people."

Posts: 997 | From: Maidstone, UK | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
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