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Author Topic: The Cyprus Hill Massacre
snopes
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John Evans was in a foul mood. So was his gang of Green River Renegades. Their horses had been stolen, presumably by Indians, and someone was going to pay! Trailing the supposed thieves, they entered Canada in what is known today as the province of Saskatchewan, and ended up a few kilometers from Fort Farwell, a whiskey trading post. Here the trail suddenly went cold.

John Evans and his gang were renowned wolfers, killing packs of wolves for their lucrative hides by attracting them to poisoned buffalo carcasses. Now they were looking for revenge and were blaming Indians for all of their woes.

The wolfers decided to stay at Fort Farwell for the night. Sleep was far from their mind however, and thoughts of vengeance, enhanced by alcohol, would keep them up until morning. Meanwhile they acquired the information from the proprietor, Abel Farwell, that there was a group of Assiniboines Indians camping just upriver.

During their drunken stupor, the wolvers met a trader by the name of George Hammond who was blaming the Assiniboines for the recent theft of his horse. He claimed that some Indian had claimed a reward for returning his mount, "probably the one who stole my horse in the first place." He had paid him with a bottle of whiskey, but continued to blame the Indian for the horse theft.

Early in the morning George Hammond found out that his horse was again missing. The Green River Renegades decided it was time for revenge. They climbed on their horses and off they went, heading for the Assiniboine camp. They had barely left Fort Farwell that someone found George Hammond's horse. It had simply wandered away looking for greener pastures, but the wolvers wouldn't be deterred.

The confrontation between chief Little Soldier and John Evans did not go well. The Indians had been drinking whiskey all through the night as well. The whiskey was far from being pure. It was diluted with water, mixed with tobacco juice for colour, and then laudanum, an opium substance, was added, along with Jamaican ginger or pepper to cause a throat-burning effect. By diluting the whiskey, more profits could be made. Nevertheless, it was enough to make any man sick, and most of the Indians were addicted to it.

The wolfers opened fired and succeeded in butchering thirty Assiniboines, thanks to their high-powered rifles. Only one of the wolfers, Ed Grace, died of an arrow in his chest. Still enraged, the wolfers cut off the chief's head, mounted it on a pole, and paraded it through the plundered camp as a warning to other natives. Although no horses were found in the camp, other than a few small ponies, the Green River Renegades returned to the United States, boasting of their kill.

News of the Cyprus Hill massacre reached the Prime Minister of Canada, John A. Macdonald. His whole cabinet was shocked, and fear of Indian reprisals was high. Canada did not want to end up with the same types of Indian wars that were being fought at the time in the United States. In addition there was concern over the fact that alcohol was ruining the lives of the native populations in the west, and Macdonald also feared losing the western Canadian territories to the Americans. A police presence had to be established in the West, and the North-West Mounted Rifles, renamed the North-West Mounted Police a few months later, was established. This police force had an amazing impact on Western Canada. Natives were again safe. Alcohol was banned, and some of the men of the Green River Renegades were brought to court. Due to insufficient evidence however, the cases were dismissed.

It is amazing how sin can quickly develop into a blazing fire. Blaming others can lead to revenge. The desire for revenge can lead to murder, and the worst of all the consequences of murder, it leads to boasting. Clear logic seems hampered where sin reigns. One action leads to another, and before we know it, we are facing the consequences of a huge disaster. Families are broken up, addictions are developed, jobs are lost and loneliness ends up in despair.

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Hubert Cumberdale
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quote:
Only one of the wolfers, Ed Grace, died of an arrow in his chest.
So did the others survive getting arrows in their chests?
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Major D. Saster
The First USA Noel


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That one is espeically good:

quote:
The desire for revenge can lead to murder, and the worst of all the consequences of murder, it leads to boasting.
"Young men, beware of murder. It may lead to theft and from there, to telling lies."

Alphonse Allais

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Desperate, but not serious.

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NZUL
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Boasting is the worst consequence of murder? Perhaps the author of this piece needs to volunteer for a victim support programme for a while and learn about the consequences of murders.

So the lesson here is: blaming others can lead to revenge, and desire for revenge can lead to murder. Hands up who didn't already know that one?

One-adrift in a sea devoid of hands-Fang

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ChelleGame
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...one tin soldier rode away.

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Michelle

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Bad Ronald
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It's funny, I googled "Cyprus Hill Massacre" and got no hits. I then tried "Green River Renegades" and got only this page. Does anyone know anything about this incident?

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Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
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I'm Dreaming of a White Canvas
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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I searched assiniboine massacre Canada, and got this, this and this. These seem to be reliable sources.

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"You hold the Prince so I can duct tape his bottom to keep the bugs out." - My Mom

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JFB
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quote:
The desire for revenge can lead to murder, and the worst of all the consequences of murder, it leads to boasting.
That's true if you're a murderer, since boasting usually leads to getting caught.

Do we have our first pro-murderer glurge here?

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Bad Ronald
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Al-luring White Canvas:
I searched assiniboine massacre Canada, and got this, this and this. These seem to be reliable sources.

Well that makes sense. There's a big difference between "Cyprus" and "Cypress". Oh, and it's "Ed Legrace", not "Ed Grace". And they evidently made up the term "Green Valley Renegades". But other than that, it appears fairly accurate. Jeesh!

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Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
Winston Churchill

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The Rubber Chicken
The First USA Noel


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quote:
That's true if you're a murderer, since boasting usually leads to getting caught.

Do we have our first pro-murderer glurge here?

That appears to be the case. The moral of this glurge: If you are going to murder somebody, shut the hell up about it.

Honestly, when I saw the title of this thread, I thought it was going to be about the rap group.

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Visit my blog, Websurdity... the Weird, the Bizarre, the Silly, the Absurd.

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atimnie
I Saw Three Shipments


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quote:
John Evans was in a foul mood. So was his gang of Green River Renegades. Their horses had been stolen...
quote:
The Green River Renegades decided it was time for revenge. They climbed on their horses...
Ya know, a little continuity would've been good here.
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Pogue Ma-humbug
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quote:
Originally posted by atimnie:
quote:
John Evans was in a foul mood. So was his gang of Green River Renegades. Their horses had been stolen...
quote:
The Green River Renegades decided it was time for revenge. They climbed on their horses...
Ya know, a little continuity would've been good here.

Hey, perhaps they were riding on Jesus.

Pogue

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Your family, your friends, the union, your wife.

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christmas tree kitapper
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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"High-powered rifles"?

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63mercus
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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It is amazing how sin can quickly develop into a blazing fire. Blaming others can lead to revenge. The desire for revenge can lead to murder, and the worst of all the consequences of murder, it leads to boasting. Clear logic seems hampered where sin reigns. One action leads to another, and before we know it, we are facing the consequences of a huge disaster. Families are broken up, addictions are developed, jobs are lost and loneliness ends up in despair.


This almost seems like two different glurges spliced together from mutant glurge DNA. The moral of the glurge doesn't really match up.
Blaming others leads to revenge,which leads to murder, which leads to corpses, then perhaps boasting. I would think corpses & remorse would be much worse as far as consequences go.

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"Soylent Green is People!!"
The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things that ain't so. - Mark Twain

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Tyrone Slothrop
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And yet, no mention of being "insane in the membrane."

Shame. Glurge writers should at least be up on their pop-culture.

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"The universe works on a math equation that never even ever really even ends in the end"

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TrishDaDish
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"Did anyone order an orchestra? Possibly while high? Cypress Hill, I'm looking in your direction."

No, you're not alone...

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GenYus
Away in a Manager's Special


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quote:
Originally posted by kitapsail fish:
"High-powered rifles"?

Maybe the Sharps Buffalo rifles they used to kill the buffalo to poison to get the wolves?

quote:
Blaming others can lead to revenge. The desire for revenge can lead to murder, and the worst of all the consequences of murder, it leads to boasting.
[Yoda]
Blaiming leads to revenge. Revenge leads to murder. Murder leads to boasting. Boasting leads to Mounties.

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IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan

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TrishDaDish
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Mounties lead to 60's cartoons. 60's cartoons lead to bad movie version with Brendon Fraser.

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GenYus
Away in a Manager's Special


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"Watch out for that tree!"

Wrong cartoon?

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IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan

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TrishDaDish
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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I should hope so. That has nothing to do with mounties. Although that does prove Brendon was in two bad movies based on 60's cartoons. I'm referring to this slice of hell.

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Esprise Me
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quote:
Originally posted by Major D. Saster:
That one is espeically good:

quote:
The desire for revenge can lead to murder, and the worst of all the consequences of murder, it leads to boasting.

Why didn't the Puritans have sex standing up?

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"If God wrote it, the grammar must be infallible. Perhaps it is we who are mistaken." -MapleLeaf

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Dear Babby
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quote:
Originally posted by Esprise Me:

Why didn't the Puritans have sex standing up? [/QB]

It could lead to dancing!!!!
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