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Author Topic: A Tribute to our Flag
Tom o' Bedlam
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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I received this from my aunt and uncle the other day. Without going into too much detail, the two key lessons I learned from this site are:

1) I am unworthy to live in the United States.
2) When other people call Americans "arrogant," not only are they correct, but apparently it's a compliment that ranks right up there with "confident" and "proud."

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Still I sing bonny boys, bonny mad boys,
Bedlam boys are bonny,
For they all go bare and they live by the air
And they want no drink nor money!

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BringTheNoise
Xboxing Day


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quote:
I am recognized all over the world.
I am worshipped - I am saluted.
I am loved - I am revered.
I am respected - and I am feared.

Don't forget burned!

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"The United States Government: significantly less cruel and sadistic than the Taliban." - Dara

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surfcitydogdad
Jingle Bell Hock


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"I pledge allegiance to Queen Frag, and her mighty state of hysteria." - Calvin & Hobbes

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Only when we remake ourselves can we remake the world.
- Outer Limits (2001)

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Izzy Quigley
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
Originally posted by surfcitydogdad:
"I pledge allegiance to Queen Frag, and her mighty state of hysteria." - Calvin & Hobbes

YOMANK!

I mean... Heretic! For shame!

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A Viennese fellow is walking along the Karntner Strasse and notices a banana peel lying in his path. "Alas," he sighs, "now I must slip and fall down!"

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Floater
Xboxing Day


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quote:
Originally posted by BringTheNoise:
quote:
I am recognized all over the world.
I am worshipped - I am saluted.
I am loved - I am revered.
I am respected - and I am feared.

Don't forget burned!
It was there, a couple of lines down.

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Små hönor skall inte lägga stora ägg för då blir de slarviga i ändan

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Richard W
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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If you don't find it chilling, then you're meant to leave the country? Is that what they meant to say?
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Spamamander in a pear tree
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Packs my bags, because the only chill I got was the wash of nausea...

And I know this probably makes me a heretic in the eyes of many, but ELVIS? If I'm looking for an icon to represent my country somehow, I doubt I am going to pick a pop singer who washed out in later years to die addicted to prescription medications on the toilet...

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"There is a race between mankind and the universe. Mankind is trying to build bigger, better, faster, and more foolproof machines. The universe is trying to build bigger, better, and faster fools. So far the universe is winning." -Albert Einstein

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GenYus
Away in a Manager's Special


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quote:
If this doesn't give you chills, you should pack up and move on to another country.
Actually, it does. But I don't think they are the kind the author wanted.

quote:
I fly atop the world's tallest buildings.
Why does the Taipei Financial Center in Taipei, Taiwan or the Petronas Towers in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia or the Jin Mao Building in Shanghai or the Two International Finance Centre in Hong Kong or the CITIC Plaza in Guangzhou, China or the Shun Hing Square in Shenzhen, China or the Central Plaza in Hong Kong fly the US flag?

I guess putting "I fly atop 2 of the 10 world's tallest buildings." would be too wordy.

quote:
When I am flown with my fellow banners, My head is a little higher,
Someone needs to read his flag code:

quote:
(g) When flags of two or more nations are displayed, they are to be flown from separate staffs of the same height. The flags should be of approximately equal size. International usage forbids the display of the flag of one nation above that of another nation in time of peace.


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IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan

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tweetilynn
I Saw Three Shipments


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quote:
Or when I lie in the trembling arms of a grieving parent
at the grave of their fallen son or daughter

There's been way too much of THIS going on in the past three years. I don't see that anyone should be bragging about it.

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LOVE: the condition in which the welfare and happiness of another become essential to your own.
-Jubal Harshaw

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SiKboy
Deck the Malls


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quote:
I have fought in every battle of every war for more then 200 years
a) No, no you havent. You just havent.
b) Even if you had, why in the world would you think that was a GOOD THING?

--------------------
This Space For Rent.

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FullMetal
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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SiKboy, I agree wholeheartedly. it is not a good thing, and it is definately not true. Every battle? what about wwI or WWII before they decided to show up. those weren't real battles? those weren't real wars? what about the Boer war? the Franco-Prussian? (I could go on and on) But I digress... those weren't real wars, nor did they even come to threaten the US, or involve them in anyway so obviously they never happened...
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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Please forward my message to all who still love and respect me that I may fly proudly for another two hundred years.
I agree. Let's hoist the author of this claptrap atop a flag pole and have them flap in the wind for several hundred years.

Who's with me? [Razz]

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People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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Purple Cow
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by surfcitydogdad:
"I pledge allegiance to Queen Frag, and her mighty state of hysteria." - Calvin & Hobbes

Or, as Bongo said, "I plead alignment to the flakes, of the untitled snakes of a merry cow. And to the Republicans for which they scam, one nacho, underpants, with licorice and jugs of wine for owls."

[Big Grin]

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No one ever wants the super boob.
-Dr. Heisler, American Dad

Baby Alex!

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Zachary Fizz
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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Was the OP the answer to one of those amusing "which something are you" quizzes?

Whose National Flag are You?

You are the National Flag of Ruritania.
You are romantic and exotic.
When flown with other flags, people say "WTF is that flag?"
Many think you are arrogant, but that is just your belief in your innately superior middle-european culture showing through.
Your citizens favour extravagant moustaches.
You are fun to be around, but unfortunately you are the flag of a fictional country, and so cannot be flown outside the United Nations building in New York.

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Cactus Wren
Jingle Bell Hock


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I can only imagine the flames anyone would receive who dared point out to the page maintainers (or to "Bob Thompson, Retired Military Veteran") that the United States flag in fact has not "fought in every battle of every war for more then 200 years".

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“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.” -- Edward R. Murrow

IOToriSparrowANK!

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Jonny T
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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I'm just bewildered as to how the US being involved in "every battle of every war for more than 200 years" would be, in the writer's mind, a good thing.

--------------------
Hello, I love you - won't you tell me your name?
Hello! I'm good for nothing - will you love me just the same?

Greetings from the dark side...

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snopes
Return! Return! Return!


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I am the flag of the United States of America.
My name is Old Glory.
I fly atop the world's biggest gas stations, proud symbols of our Middle Eastern conquests.
I stand watch in America's halls of justice while our President shreds the Constitution that gave me meaning.
I fly majestically over institutions of learning where gays are not welcome.
I stand guard with power over weaker nations.
Look up and see me flying over your occupied country.

I was nowhere to be seen as hundreds of thousands bravely fought to the death at Ypres and Verdun.
I was absent from the desperate struggles against fascism at Dunkirk and Leningrad.
But I proudly cleansed our forests, plains, and deserts of Native Americans.

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Radical Dory
God Rest Ye Merry Retail Clerks


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quote:
When I am torn into strips and used as bandages for my wounded comrades on the battlefield
[Confused]

"Screw the first aid kit. Get me an American flag!"

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"But about the reindeer...what kind of a nose shines? How did he get it? Maybe it's not a reindeer after all. It could be something else."

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Pogue Ma-humbug
Happy Christmas (Malls are Open)


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I pledge impertinence to the flag-waving of the un-indicted co-cospirators of America, and to the Republicans, for which I can't stand, one abomination, underhanded fraud, indefensible, with liberty and justice, forget it.

Matt Groening, Life in Hell, 1981.

--------------------
Let's drink to the causes in your life:
Your family, your friends, the union, your wife.

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Cervus
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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Pogue, is that available on a bumper sticker?

--------------------
"There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen
Won't somebody please think of the adults!

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Pogue Ma-humbug
Happy Christmas (Malls are Open)


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quote:
Originally posted by Cervus:
Pogue, is that available on a bumper sticker?

I don't think so. I have an original, faded cartoon torn from the Village Voice that's been posted on my fridge for the past 25 years.

Pogue

--------------------
Let's drink to the causes in your life:
Your family, your friends, the union, your wife.

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Esprise Me
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Don't worry, snopes, I didn't really need this keyboard anyway...

--------------------
"If God wrote it, the grammar must be infallible. Perhaps it is we who are mistaken." -MapleLeaf

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Sister Ray
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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^ another flag to not salute

This reminds me of a time in physics class my senior year in high school when a kid was complaining about some basketball player who was in trouble because he wouldn't salute the flag. I told him that it was against his religion, and the kid said "Too bad, just do it."

I did not feel the need to mention to him that it's also excluded under *my* religion.

Sister "and my art history teacher gave me filthy looks when I wouldn't do it..." Ray

--------------------
The Organization. Adam Haseeb Memorial Pages. My library.

"There can't be a war on Christmas. Even Cambridge has decorations up!" - an observation I made

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Don Enrico
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by GenYus:
quote:
When I am flown with my fellow banners, My head is a little higher,
Someone needs to read his flag code:

quote:
(g) When flags of two or more nations are displayed, they are to be flown from separate staffs of the same height. The flags should be of approximately equal size. International usage forbids the display of the flag of one nation above that of another nation in time of peace.

Yes, but those are not "fellow banners", those are foreign banners! "Fellow banners" only can be American flags, i.g. those of the 50 states.

quote:
I have been burned, torn and trampled on the streets of countries I have helped set free.
It does not hurt for I am invincible. I have been soiled upon, burned, torn and trampled in the streets of my country.
And when it's done by those Whom I've served in battle - it hurts.
But I shall overcome - for I am strong.

Good to hear this is cleared up now. Scrap all bills that want to make flag-burning a crime - the flag is invincible and strong.

Don Enrico

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My spelling is Wobbly. It's good spelling, but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places. - Pooh Bear

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invisigoth
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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I, State Your Name,
Pledge allegiance to the lips
Of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
And to the decadance for which it stands,
One movie, under Richard O'Brien,
With Sensuous Daydreams, Erotic Nightmares, and Sins of the Flesh for All!


sorry, i couldnt resist.

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gopher
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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I am worshipped - I am saluted.

1)Then God spoke all these words:
2)I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery; 3)you shall have no other gods before me.
4)You shall not make for yourself an image, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.
5)You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me.

You know, the big lad was really quite keen on this worshipping no others thing.

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TrishDaDish
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
I am confident.
I am arrogant.
I am proud.
I bow to no one!

Cripes, the flag sure sounds like a dickweed!

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I would prefer not to.
My blog

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atimnie
I Saw Three Shipments


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I am strong.
I am invincible.
I am woman.

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NZUL
Deck the Malls


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YOMANK!!

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"We don't keep a certified whale-vomit expert on staff." - Larry Penny, Director, Natural Resources Department, Town of East Hampton

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pob14
Jingle Bell Hock


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I think I've just seen too many movies with the kids lately, but I kept hearing:

"I have your movie tickets
I am Fandango!"

--------------------
Patrick

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Major D. Saster
The First USA Noel


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BTW, there are many flags that are 6-700 years old - or even older, and that flew over countless battlefields long before Columbus sailed west.

"Old Glory" yeah right.

Glorious I may agree, but Old ?

The oldest thing you had in the US was Ronald Reagan, but he died. [Big Grin]

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Desperate, but not serious.

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Floater
Xboxing Day


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quote:
Originally posted by Major D. Saster:
BTW, there are many flags that are 6-700 years old - or even older, and that flew over countless battlefields long before Columbus sailed west.

And the one that's concidered oldest is the Danish flag, the Dannebrog, that dates back to the early 13th century, almost 800 years ago.

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Små hönor skall inte lägga stora ägg för då blir de slarviga i ändan

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Major D. Saster
The First USA Noel


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Yeah, and the Danish flag reportedly *fell from the sky* during a battle.

Now, who's God's country, eh ? [Razz]


PS: of course, it was before God moved to Switzerland... [lol]

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Desperate, but not serious.

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TrishDaDish
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Maybe our flag is called "Old Glory" is due to our "melting pot" of citizens. There's always someone with tales of "Back in the Old Country". Please bear in mind that "The Old Country" is whatever country you or your ancestors came from, so "The Old Country" one person's referring to may be Portugal, while it's Italy to someone else. Quite confusing, this country.

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I would prefer not to.
My blog

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JFB
Jingle Bell Hock


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Old Glory is a specific flag that was presented to William Driver, a New England whaler captain, by his mother in the late 1820s. He reportedly coined the name out of appreciation for the gift. The flag became famous during the Civil War when Driver, who had since retired to Nashville, raised it atop the Tennessee state capitol after Union troops took the city.

Since then, Old Glory has spent time in Nevada and the Smithsonian, and has recently returned to Nashville. It has not flown atop the world's tallest buildings, stood watch in America's halls of justice, or flown over institutions of learning. Nor has it been to Valley Forge, Gettysburg, Shiloh, Appomattox, San Juan Hill, the Argonne Forest, Anzio, Rome, Normandy, Guam, Okinawa, KheSan, Saigon, Vietnam, Afghanistan or Iraq.

But it has, evidently, been posting sanctimonious baloney on the Internet.


[Edited to fix History]

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