posted
This doesn't have Jesus or puppies but it's glurge-o-riffic anyway...
A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee
You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.
Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."
"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.
Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
You might want to send this message to those people who mean something to you (I JUST DID); to those who have touched your life in one way or another; to those who make you smile when you really need it; to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down; to those whose friendship you appreciate; to those who are so meaningful in your life
If you don't send it, you will just miss out on the opportunity to brighten someone's day with this message!
It's easier to build a child than repair an adult. This is so true.
May we all be COFFEE.
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Arrgh. I'd much rather my mom come out and say "quit whining and make changes in your life." And what's with the crap tacked on at the end??
-------------------- "There is a race between mankind and the universe. Mankind is trying to build bigger, better, faster, and more foolproof machines. The universe is trying to build bigger, better, and faster fools. So far the universe is winning." -Albert Einstein Posts: 1058 | From: Yakima, WA | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
So, we should let life suck the flavor out of us, and dump us down the disposal?
And don't remember that you have to roast the beans before you make coffee. What is that suppossed to mean?
-------------------- Nico Sasha In between my father's fields;And the citadels of the rule; Lies a no-man's land which I must cross; To find my stolen jewel. Posts: 4912 | From: VA | Registered: Jul 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Mad Jay: And don't remember that you have to roast the beans before you make coffee. What is that suppossed to mean?
Trial by fire?
-------------------- Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!! Posts: 4771 | From: The Berkeley of the East Coast: Montgomery County MD | Registered: Mar 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Mad Jay: And don't remember that you have to roast the beans before you make coffee. What is that suppossed to mean?
Trial by fire?
And what about those beans that get digested by squirrels or soemthing? Trial by fire, trial by water, trial by poop. This glurge is making me depressed already
-------------------- Nico Sasha In between my father's fields;And the citadels of the rule; Lies a no-man's land which I must cross; To find my stolen jewel. Posts: 4912 | From: VA | Registered: Jul 2003
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-------------------- I like to go down to the playground and watch the kids run and jump and scream, because they don't know I'm only using blanks. Posts: 942 | From: Illinois | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
Like a lot of glurge, this piece was overwritten. The same parable could have been told much better in a fraction of the space. For example:
A young woman came to her mother’s house seeking advice, because she felt depressed and overwhelmed.
Her mother took her to the kitchen and boiled three pots of water. She put a carrot in the first, an egg in the second, and a packet of ground coffee in the third. After ten minutes she removed each object and placed it on the counter.
“Each of these faced the same conditions,” her mother said. “But look how they turned out.”
The young woman squeezed the carrot. It had lost its rigidity and become soft and pliant. She cracked the egg’s fragile shell and discovered the liquid interior had become solid. She nodded in understanding.
Then she picked up the coffee packet. “It’s just wet,” she said. “Yes,” said her mother. “But look how it changed the water.”
-------------------- "If God wrote it, the grammar must be infallible. Perhaps it is we who are mistaken." -MapleLeaf Posts: 977 | From: Boston, MA | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Esprise Me: Like a lot of glurge, this piece was overwritten. The same parable could have been told much better in a fraction of the space. For example:
A young woman came to her mother’s house seeking advice, because she felt depressed and overwhelmed.
Her mother took her to the kitchen and boiled three pots of water. She put a carrot in the first, an egg in the second, and a packet of ground coffee in the third. After ten minutes she removed each object and placed it on the counter.
“Each of these faced the same conditions,” her mother said. “But look how they turned out.”
The young woman squeezed the carrot. It had lost its rigidity and become soft and pliant. She cracked the egg’s fragile shell and discovered the liquid interior had become solid. She nodded in understanding.
Then she picked up the coffee packet. “It’s just wet,” she said. “Yes,” said her mother. “But look how it changed the water.”
posted
But hard boiled eggs aren't bitter and tough, they are delicious, especially in an egg salad sandwich with little black olives in it and on toasted bread.
Whereas coffee is (IMO) bitter unless you add cream and sugar.
I have NO idea how that ties into the glurge. Not that it has to make any sense any way, the glurge sure didn't.
-------------------- "Wolves, dragons and vampires, man. Draw the nut-bars like big ol' nut-bar magnets." ~evilrabbit
(snurched because one of my nutbar family members is all about wolves and another one is all about dragons...)(with apologies to surfcitydogdad) Posts: 2397 | From: Texarkana, TX | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
Coffee is full of caffeine. Caffeine is a drug. Life goes better when you're full of drugs?
-------------------- Most writers don't actually think of themselves as God. --Orson Scott Card Posts: 35 | From: New York | Registered: Jul 2006
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quote:and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word
I'm not really a coffee drinker, but can you really make coffee by dumping ground beans into a pot? Wouldn't it be ... gritty, at the very least? I mean, isn't that why our coffeemaker has a filter?
-------------------- "He feeds the sparrows of the field, but He doesn't sit there and cram worms into their mouths." -- Mouse Posts: 396 | From: Pasadena, CA | Registered: Jan 2006
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posted
And what happens to those of us, like me, who hate coffee? Not only does it taste like cow poop, but it actually makes me physically ill. Please, I don't know what inanimate object to live like if I don't have these questions answered!
-------------------- Tyger, Tyger burning bright In the forest of the night What immortal hand or eye Hath framed thy fearful symmetry? Posts: 74 | From: Charlotte, NC | Registered: Sep 2006
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quote:and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word
I'm not really a coffee drinker, but can you really make coffee by dumping ground beans into a pot? Wouldn't it be ... gritty, at the very least? I mean, isn't that why our coffeemaker has a filter?
I guess that after biling, you could strain the coffee + water through a filter. I haven't tried it, but I bet the result would be nasty
-------------------- Nico Sasha In between my father's fields;And the citadels of the rule; Lies a no-man's land which I must cross; To find my stolen jewel. Posts: 4912 | From: VA | Registered: Jul 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Dragon's Jewel: And what happens to those of us, like me, who hate coffee? Not only does it taste like cow poop, but it actually makes me physically ill. Please, I don't know what inanimate object to live like if I don't have these questions answered!
You should be ashamed of yourself, you self-hating-Java!!
-------------------- Nico Sasha In between my father's fields;And the citadels of the rule; Lies a no-man's land which I must cross; To find my stolen jewel. Posts: 4912 | From: VA | Registered: Jul 2003
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-------------------- "He feeds the sparrows of the field, but He doesn't sit there and cram worms into their mouths." -- Mouse Posts: 396 | From: Pasadena, CA | Registered: Jan 2006
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quote:and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word
I'm not really a coffee drinker, but can you really make coffee by dumping ground beans into a pot? Wouldn't it be ... gritty, at the very least? I mean, isn't that why our coffeemaker has a filter?
Well, that's why it's a packet of ground (and presumably pre-roasted) coffee in my version. You'll notice I also fixed the part where it supposedly takes 20 minutes to make coffee, hard-boil an egg, or soften a carrot. The writing was bad enough; the factual inaccuracies were unforgivable.
ETA: I like black coffee. If it really tastes like cow poop, I'll have to try some of that next time I visit a farm.
-------------------- "If God wrote it, the grammar must be infallible. Perhaps it is we who are mistaken." -MapleLeaf Posts: 977 | From: Boston, MA | Registered: Oct 2005
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Whereas coffee is (IMO) bitter unless you add cream and sugar.
I have NO idea how that ties into the glurge.
It's simple, really. The coffee may have changed the water, but it became bitter (and resentful, perhaps?) in the process. So no matter which of the three boiled objects you are, you still come out of tough times a little worse for wear.
I'm in agreement with you, FWIW. Coffee has to be dressed up fancy if I'm going to drink it.
-------------------- Where's the challenge in wassailing at Christmas? The place is lousy with wassail! Posts: 232 | From: Raleigh, NC | Registered: Jul 2006
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posted
So the girl comes in needing a chat and the mom gets up and putters in the kitchen for 20 minutes not saying a word.
Thanks mom.
-------------------- We frettered around like farm animals, looking around for formulas and father figures. -Twilight Zone Posts: 425 | From: Lynchburg, VA | Registered: May 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Spamamander cyclone: May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
Is there a term for the crap that gets tacked onto the end of glurge like this? That may very well be the most obnoxious part of glurge for me...the little glurglings that grow off the ass of the glurge. And they can't just stop at one glurgling. No! Everyone who forwards the damn thing seems to add there own little nugget of non-wisdom.
quote:When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
Terrible advice. Absolutely terrible. I thought they may have had something there with the first sentence, but I can't disagree more that you should live your life so that everyone is crying at the end. My grandfather was the greatest example of a man that I have had in my life. He lived to the age of 92. At his funeral, everyone shared their stories of his life...we all laughed heartily, remembering how much he truly loved life and lived it fully. It brought smiles to all our faces to remember him and to know that he achieved what we all would like to achieve: a life lived fully and without regret. The room was not filled with sorrow.
quote:It's easier to build a child than repair an adult. This is so true.
May we all be COFFEE.
Look at that! Glurglings growing off the asses of glurglings! Will wonders never cease?
-------------------- "The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." - G.K. Chesterton Posts: 1514 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Methuselah: Is there a term for the crap that gets tacked onto the end of glurge like this?
Not that I know of, but may I suggest "glurge buttne" (pronounced BUTT-nee, as in acne that develops on someone's butt?)
-------------------- "If God wrote it, the grammar must be infallible. Perhaps it is we who are mistaken." -MapleLeaf Posts: 977 | From: Boston, MA | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
UrBOOnRenewal: I just came up with 5 different jokes about teabags and then realized that I couldn't post any of them. Il est horrible!
-------------------- Tyger, Tyger burning bright In the forest of the night What immortal hand or eye Hath framed thy fearful symmetry? Posts: 74 | From: Charlotte, NC | Registered: Sep 2006
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posted
I was hoping this glurge would be about the importance of eating breakfast. In fact, the title has inspired me to try eating breakfast at home again. But I think I'll eat the carrots raw while I wait for the eggs and coffee.
Posts: 105 | From: San Diego, CA | Registered: Jun 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Spamamander cyclone: "Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
"How exactly is knowing the answer to this question supposed to pay the mortgage or put food on the table?" her daughter responded.
Face it, you shouldn't talk to a glurger for advice on anything unless you've been ingesting massive hallucinogenics. That way when they start explaining how venereal disease is like Jesus, you'll be in the right frame of mind to appreciate their wisdom.
-------------------- "You see? The mysteries of the Universe are revealed when you break stuff." Coop from MegasXLR
"I distrust who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." -- Susan B. Anthony Posts: 2246 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Jul 2003
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quote:Originally posted by ChelleGame: The best part of waking up is glurge in your cup.
If that's the best part of waking up, I think I'll just sleep in.
-------------------- Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference. "Divorce is not caused because 50% of marriages end in gayness." - Jon Stewart my space on myspace--now showing "80's Video Of The Week" Posts: 278 | From: Bel Air, MD | Registered: May 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Spamamander cyclone: "Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
"How exactly is knowing the answer to this question supposed to pay the mortgage or put food on the table?" her daughter responded.
Honestly, this glurge reminded me of a thread in the Hurricane Katrina forum several weeks ago: the original poster offered links to videos of the appalling conditions that still prevail in the New Orleans area, with block after block after block still completely uninhabitable; one poster whom I will not name stubbornly insisted that things wouldn't be that bad if only the locals, instead of sitting around despairing and waiting to be helped, would only buck up and pull up their socks and roll up their sleeves and put their shoulders to the grindstone (or some such thing) and just do something (he drew a comparison with an Amish barn-raising).
-------------------- “Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.” -- Edward R. Murrow
quote:and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word
I'm not really a coffee drinker, but can you really make coffee by dumping ground beans into a pot? Wouldn't it be ... gritty, at the very least? I mean, isn't that why our coffeemaker has a filter?
The way decribed in the OP is the way the Turks and Greeks prepare their coffee (the traditional way - they do have coffee makers by now, too). The finely ground coffee is cooked in special copper pots (like these). After pouring the coffee, you have to wait for the ground coffee to settle down - and you have to make sure not to drink the last sip from your cup!
Maybe the mother in the OP has Greek or Turkish roots?
Don "mocca" Enrico
-------------------- My spelling is Wobbly. It's good spelling, but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places. - Pooh Bear Posts: 2209 | From: Hamburg, Germany | Registered: Oct 2004
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quote:and you have to make sure not to drink the last sip from your cup!
You have no idea. There's a Greek fest that's held here every year on the first day of fall, and they have all the staples, including greek coffee. Neither my SO nor I have had greek coffee in a long while, so we got a cup to share. My SO let me have the last of it-about a quarter of the cup was left-and so we're walking around, talking, while I idly swirled the remains of my coffee around (force of habit)... BLECH! I took a drink of the nastiest dregs of coffee that there ever was. Ugh, I still shudder when I think about it. And then my SO goes and takes a big gulp, just to prove that I was 'being weird.' Ha haha. It was almost worth it, to see the look on his face.
-------------------- Tyger, Tyger burning bright In the forest of the night What immortal hand or eye Hath framed thy fearful symmetry? Posts: 74 | From: Charlotte, NC | Registered: Sep 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Spamamander cyclone: A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners...
This has a good point but the delivery is pretty lame. If I went to my parents to cry about my life and they just ignored me and proceeded to start cooking random shit I'd probably be pretty upset. That must have been an awkward 20 minutes.
Posts: 835 | From: Massachusetts | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote: Is there a term for the crap that gets tacked onto the end of glurge like this? That may very well be the most obnoxious part of glurge for me...the little glurglings that grow off the ass of the glurge.
What's wrong with glurglings? I think that would be the perfect word for it. Or maybe glurgahrea, cause it just keeps dribbling on. Or glurgettes, glurkins, glurgites.
Nah, glurglings is perfect, go with that.
Posts: 70 | From: Chicago, IL | Registered: Jul 2006
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And what about those beans that get digested by squirrels or soemthing? Trial by fire, trial by water, trial by poop. This glurge is making me depressed already![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
