posted
My family and I had just enjoyed a "family night". We had eaten our supper on TV trays in the living room while watching a Christian DVD. We call it our weekend treat. But now it was time to for the "get-ready-for-bed" routine, and I was shutting off all of the electronic equipment to prepare for family worship.
As I was attempting to turn off the television however, strange things started happening. I hadn't even pushed the "on/off" button when the set shut down! I figured it was my imagination in overdrive, so I pushed the button anyway. The results? The television turned back on. Hum.
Now, I had been noticing lately that the television set was acting funny. For example, often, without any prompting, the word "video" would appear every fifteen seconds on the screen. This is quite annoying, but since we have had this particular TV set for about 12 years, I figured it was just entering its teenage years. But now I had a new dilemma! This obstinate set was now becoming far too independent, and I hadn't yet been able to find a "Dummy Guide" on raising teenage televisions! Just what do you do to make a TV "shape-up" anyway? Help!
But for the moment, I had to address the more immediate problem: How to turn the TV off! I reached down and pushed the "on/off" button. It went off this time, only to jump immediately back to life. "Is it stubborn or is it stubborn?" I muttered as I pushed the button again and again and again. But the results were always the same: The TV always jumped back to life as soon as my finger was off the button!
"This TV is falling apart!" I said to no one in particular as I stubbornly pushed the off button again, only to have it, one more time, jump back to life.
I don't know how long this would have gone on if I hadn't noticed the three people rolling around on the couch holding their sides as they tried to stifle their laughter. Now I was really confused! How could they be LAUGHING at me at a time like THIS??? My temper was about to flare in their direction when I noticed that my youngest son had the TV remote in his hand. Every time I pushed the "off" button, he was flipping the set back on!
Why hadn't I thought of this? Because my vision had was so narrowed by my focus on the problematic television set, that I never bothering to consider that there might be some larger reason for its behavior! I quickly joined in the laughter and gave my son a love tap on his head.
I learned an important lesson that day. It is easy to keep a narrow-minded focus on problems; however the more I do so, the more frustrated I become. When this happens, I need to simply take a deep breath and stop trying to resolve my problem by myself. It is time to approach the problem from a broader perspective: God's perspective.
Jesus promised: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28 (NIV) Instead of becoming frustrated, we can trust that Jesus will help us through. He will give us the appropriate perspective on our situation and will guide us to its solution. Instead of "Ahhhrs and Urrrrgs!" We can start to laugh at our own shortcomings and enjoy our divine Guide's perspective on the situation.
Strangely enough, after this episode, we haven't had any problems with our TV!
Posts: 36029 | From: Admin | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
So every time I do my best in life and things still go horribly wrong it's because God is jerking me around with his remote?
You know, that actually makes sense.
-------------------- "Nothing is so firmly believed as what we least know." ~ Michel Eyquem de Montaigne Posts: 1382 | From: Toronto, Ontario | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged |
quote: I noticed that my youngest son had the TV remote in his hand. Every time I pushed the "off" button, he was flipping the set back on!
I thought most TVs were like the ones I've dealt with. If you turn it off with the power button on the TV, the remote control won't affect it. Bad glurge writer. Bad! Bad!
quote: Originally by Christopher: So every time I do my best in life and things still go horribly wrong it's because God is jerking me around with his remote?
You know, that actually makes sense.
I think we need to find this God fella and take away his privileges for a while. A good time-out in the corner maybe? Or maybe just a good spanking and be done with it?
-------------------- You have just been involved in a drive-by posting. Posts: 204 | From: CQ, Australia | Registered: Feb 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
His temper is about to flare at his family because they're laughing when the tv won't turn off? Good to see that the authority in the household rests on such a solid, worthy man.
-------------------- ~~Ai am in mai prrrrrraime!~~ Posts: 10111 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
quote: But now it was time to for the "get-ready-for-bed" routine, and I was shutting off all of the electronic equipment to prepare for family worship.
Why did all the electronic equipment have to be shut down? Surely you can just turn off the TV.
Maybe they get static on the God-hotline when the DVD player is still powered up.
Or maybe God gets so tired of the git He does the "Sorry I can't hear KSSKKSSHHH through a tunnel KKSSHHKSSHH me back later...." routine.
Dropbear
-------------------- " The villagers had said justice had been done, and she'd lost patience and told them to go home, then, and pray to whatever gods they believed in that it was never done to them. -- (Terry Pratchett) Posts: 823 | From: Hobart, Tasmania | Registered: Jun 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
I love the way it's a Christian DVD as watching a family film would obviously the verge of satan worship.
The TV thing nagged me too, all the remotes I've come across put the television on standby whereas the button on the actualy set turns it on and off thus this humourous little trick wouldn't have worked. Even if it did work, I'm amazed that no-one had pulled off this stunt before in twelve years. Living there must be a riot.
-------------------- Dactingyl is meant to sound a bit like Christingle.
It's not very good but I couldn't think of anything else.
Sorry. Posts: 257 | From: Hants, UK | Registered: Dec 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by snopes: Strangely enough, after this episode, we haven't had any problems with our TV!
Um, you never had a problem with you TV, your son was messing with you. Who knew that God could fix problems that never existed in the first place?
-------------------- "Tis too much proved that with devotion's visage and pious action we do sugar o'er the devil himself." - Hamlet Posts: 344 | From: Pittsburgh, PA | Registered: Jun 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Aussie Girl: I think we need to find this God fella and take away his privileges for a while. A good time-out in the corner maybe? Or maybe just a good spanking and be done with it?
I think a serious note home to his parents may do the trick.
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Deity,
While God is an intelligent young divinity, he doesn't always play well with others. He also tends to appropriate the toys, especially the wading pool which he loves to walk back and forth over without giving his class mates a chance to join in.
We have tried giving him time outs, but it is difficult to get past his sense of entitlement. Perhaps if you were to cut down on the number of animal sacrifices he may become less self-involved.
-------------------- "Nothing is so firmly believed as what we least know." ~ Michel Eyquem de Montaigne Posts: 1382 | From: Toronto, Ontario | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by snopes: My family and I had just enjoyed a "family night". We had eaten our supper on TV trays in the living room while watching a Christian DVD. We call it our weekend treat. But now it was time to for the "get-ready-for-bed" routine, and I was shutting off all of the electronic equipment to prepare for family worship.
Gosh, the excitement!!
quote:I quickly joined in the laughter and gave my son a love tap on his head. .
Do you have any wine? All of this would go a lot smoother in an altered state of reality. Posts: 779 | From: Southampton, England | Registered: Nov 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Maybe love-tapping is an American thing? Because I thought that was the strangest part of it all! I do quite like the sound of it though. I think I am going to start love-tapping all my friends and colleagues, as soon as I find out what it is.
Love tap five!
Posts: 238 | From: Ireland | Registered: Jan 2006
| IP: Logged |
DemonWolf
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
posted
quote:Originally posted by Aussie Girl: I thought most TVs were like the ones I've dealt with. If you turn it off with the power button on the TV, the remote control won't affect it. Bad glurge writer. Bad! Bad!
I've never seen a TV that would do that. Especially a 12 year old TV.
-------------------- Friends are like skittles: they come in many colors, and some are fruity!
Do you have any wine? All of this would go a lot smoother in an altered state of reality. Posts: 779 | From: Southampton, England | Registered: Nov 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Aussie Girl: I thought most TVs were like the ones I've dealt with. If you turn it off with the power button on the TV, the remote control won't affect it. Bad glurge writer. Bad! Bad!
I've never seen a TV that would do that. Especially a 12 year old TV.
Nope, all the TVs I've ever had aren't affected by the remote if they're switched off using the power button on the TV. Maybe American TVs are different so that Lazy Americans (tm) don't have to bother getting up to turn the TV on?
Never mind, I'll do it myself
-------------------- Silence should never under any circumstances be construed as agreement. A lot of the time, it's simply a reflection that someone just said something so stupid that no response could possibly do it justice. - Ramblin' Dave Posts: 8528 | From: Nottingham, England | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Dropbear: Why did all the electronic equipment have to be shut down? Surely you can just turn off the TV.
It wasn't something I had ever heard of before until we got our new fridge. It has a water and ice dispenser on the door, and there are a few lights that act as indicators and it shows the inside temperature. There is a way to set the fridge on "Sabbath mode" which lets it continue to cool, but turns off all the indicator lights. I became aware of it, because when we were checking out the fridge at the store an employee told us that they had accidently put it on Sabbath mode when they got that fridge in, and no one could figure out why it was cooling but none of the lights would come on.
I think it may be a orthodox Jewish thing.
ETA: I found an old article that includes this:
quote:Members of Yale Hillel say the University's plan to install an electronic gate security system will interfere with students' observance of the Jewish Sabbath, the one day of the week set aside for rest. ... But since observant Jews cannot operate any electronics or machinery from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday, the electronic system poses a serious logistical threat to some students.
ETA: I just read the opening glurge again, and it mentions Christianity specifically. So, I have no idea. Maybe the original story was used as an illustrative point by a rabbi, and someone found it and decided to glurgify it.
Posts: 550 | From: Springboro, OH | Registered: Feb 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
I'm thinking "love tap" is glurgespeak for a dope slap
-------------------- "But I'm adding this to my reasons why I never really liked really good looking men much. Sheesh, what good is good looking if you have to stuff a sock in his mouth." - Sara at home NFBSK, IIRC and other mysterious Snopester language Posts: 851 | From: Indiana | Registered: Dec 2004
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Aussie Girl: I think we need to find this God fella and take away his privileges for a while. A good time-out in the corner maybe? Or maybe just a good spanking and be done with it?
I think a serious note home to his parents may do the trick.
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Deity,
While God is an intelligent young divinity, he doesn't always play well with others. He also tends to appropriate the toys, especially the wading pool which he loves to walk back and forth over without giving his class mates a chance to join in.
We have tried giving him time outs, but it is difficult to get past his sense of entitlement. Perhaps if you were to cut down on the number of animal sacrifices he may become less self-involved.
This made nearly inhale my coffee!
-------------------- "Tis too much proved that with devotion's visage and pious action we do sugar o'er the devil himself." - Hamlet Posts: 344 | From: Pittsburgh, PA | Registered: Jun 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Teenage TV? Very lame attempt at humor, but I guess that's to be expected of the sort of people who think of eating dinner off trays while watching a Christian DVD as a treat.
I had a similar problem with my TV once--it would turn on by itself or turn off by itself. I quickly recalled that I had seen a friend's two-year-old playing with the remote earlier, so I found the remote and reprogrammed it. This fixed the problem, and I learned an important lesson that day--never let a toddler near your remote.
Posts: 1111 | From: Albuquerque, NM | Registered: Dec 2000
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by snopes: My family and I had just enjoyed a "family night". We had eaten our supper on TV trays in the living room while watching a Christian DVD. We call it our weekend treat.
Apart from the DVD part, why does this sound like early 1960s suburbia?
quote:Originally posted by snopes: Why hadn't I thought of this? Because my vision had was so narrowed by my focus on the problematic television set, that I never bothering to consider that there might be some larger reason for its behavior!
Yes, it never occurred to Pa that Junior might want to do something else on a Saturday night other than eat TV dinners and watch Christian DVDs (like go out with his friends).
quote:Originally posted by snopes: I quickly joined in the laughter and gave my son a love tap on his head.
I can see it now - "ha, ha, ha, very funny, Junior." Whap!
quote:Originally posted by snopes: When this happens, I need to simply take a deep breath and stop trying to resolve my problem by myself. It is time to approach the problem from a broader perspective: God's perspective.
God does TV repairs?
quote:Originally posted by snopes: Strangely enough, after this episode, we haven't had any problems with our TV!
Yes, after you gave Junior a slap upside the head, I wonder why.
Ta ra 'wan,
Ieuan "weekend treat" ab Arthur
-------------------- "I e-mail or I don't e-mail. The magic just happens" - From OP in We've Got Mail
Y Gwir Yn Erbyn Y Byd Posts: 626 | From: Toronto, Ontario | Registered: Oct 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Turning a practical joke of the most basic form into a Christian lesson... I guess because only Christians would be dumb enough and superstitious enough not to realize someone was using the remote.
Posts: 411 | From: California | Registered: Nov 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Dropbear: Why did all the electronic equipment have to be shut down? Surely you can just turn off the TV.
It wasn't something I had ever heard of before until we got our new fridge. It has a water and ice dispenser on the door, and there are a few lights that act as indicators and it shows the inside temperature. There is a way to set the fridge on "Sabbath mode" which lets it continue to cool, but turns off all the indicator lights. I became aware of it, because when we were checking out the fridge at the store an employee told us that they had accidently put it on Sabbath mode when they got that fridge in, and no one could figure out why it was cooling but none of the lights would come on.
I think it may be a orthodox Jewish thing.
ETA: I found an old article that includes this:
quote:Members of Yale Hillel say the University's plan to install an electronic gate security system will interfere with students' observance of the Jewish Sabbath, the one day of the week set aside for rest. ... But since observant Jews cannot operate any electronics or machinery from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday, the electronic system poses a serious logistical threat to some students.
ETA: I just read the opening glurge again, and it mentions Christianity specifically. So, I have no idea. Maybe the original story was used as an illustrative point by a rabbi, and someone found it and decided to glurgify it.
Our convection oven has a sabbath mode, too. It turns off the displays, the lights and the convection fan. You can type in the temperature you want, and it will heat up but not display it or beep. This is pretty odd to me, because it is still an electric oven.
Posts: 2115 | From: Texas | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Aussie Girl: I thought most TVs were like the ones I've dealt with. If you turn it off with the power button on the TV, the remote control won't affect it. Bad glurge writer. Bad! Bad!
I've never seen a TV that would do that. Especially a 12 year old TV.
Nope, all the TVs I've ever had aren't affected by the remote if they're switched off using the power button on the TV. Maybe American TVs are different so that Lazy Americans (tm) don't have to bother getting up to turn the TV on?
Never mind, I'll do it myself
Actually, I think you may be right about that. I just got up and turned off my TV manually and then turned it right back on with the remote. All of the posts that said they're TV's can't do that have been from people outside the US. So you may be onto something there with it being a strictly American feature.
quote:Originally posted by snopes: My family and I had just enjoyed a "family night". We had eaten our supper on TV trays in the living room while watching a Christian DVD. We call it our weekend treat. But now it was time to for the "get-ready-for-bed" routine, and I was shutting off all of the electronic equipment to prepare for family worship.
Yep. That's what Mrs. driver and myself always did on weekends after the kids were asleep. Prepare for worship. Yeah, that's it.
-------------------- "Chuck E. Cheese called. They want their band back."
quote:Originally posted by snopes: My family and I had just enjoyed a "family night". We had eaten our supper on TV trays in the living room while watching a Christian DVD. We call it our weekend treat. But now it was time to for the "get-ready-for-bed" routine, and I was shutting off all of the electronic equipment to prepare for family worship.
Yep. That's what Mrs. driver and myself always did on weekends after the kids were asleep. Prepare for worship. Yeah, that's it.
Well, erm, I know when my mom and stepdad went to the back part of the video store they were getting their "religious movies". At least, that's what THEY called 'em.
-------------------- "There is a race between mankind and the universe. Mankind is trying to build bigger, better, faster, and more foolproof machines. The universe is trying to build bigger, better, and faster fools. So far the universe is winning." -Albert Einstein Posts: 1058 | From: Yakima, WA | Registered: Dec 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Ariadne: I have never seen a TV that wouldn't turn on with the remote after being turned off manually. Chalk it up to the lazy Americans!
I don't get how this would work. How does the TV received the Infrared signal if it's off? When you turn ours off on the set it's basically the same as unplugging it, no signs of life.
-------------------- Dactingyl is meant to sound a bit like Christingle.
It's not very good but I couldn't think of anything else.
Sorry. Posts: 257 | From: Hants, UK | Registered: Dec 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
I just turned off my set manually and turned it immediately back on with the remote. Twice, just to make sure. I almost always use the remote to turn it on anyway; but I didn't know why it wouldn't work if I had just turned it off manually. But it did.
I was wondering why the guy didn't unplug it, myself. It might have been possessed or something.
LemonLazyAmericanLimeade
-------------------- Those who beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those who don't. Posts: 285 | From: Woodbridge, NJ | Registered: Jul 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Well if it was posessed and he unplugged it he might get sucked into BIZARRO TV POSESSION GLURGE WORLD where he was forced to endure painfully tenuous extended metaphors and nibbled by satanic puppies.
Posts: 40 | From: England | Registered: Jul 2006
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Mosherette: Nope, all the TVs I've ever had aren't affected by the remote if they're switched off using the power button on the TV. Maybe American TVs are different so that Lazy Americans (tm) don't have to bother getting up to turn the TV on? [/QB]
My (English) TV can be turned on with a remote after it's been turned off manually.
Also, I would have preferred the ending, "After I unplugged the TV, I turned round to see that my son had deviously been using the remote control to make the TV spring back to life. I laughed along with everyone else, then grabbed the remote control and hit my son upside the head with it. We've had no problems with the TV since, but now the remote doesn't work..."
Posts: 9 | From: UK | Registered: Jan 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
FYI, "love tap" means "I smacked him upside the head, but I smiled while doing it to indicate that I still loved him." It's on par with the "loving criticism" often used in Texas, which means you can say whatever you want about someone so long as you end the sentence with the phrase "Bless his/her heart." As in, "That Jenny is such a slut. She just whores herself around like Delilah in a lipstick shop. She's the sluttiest slut in slutsville, God bless her heart."
And also adding, my TV in Japan turned off and on with the remote, just like my American one. I've never heard of this strange "stand-by" some of you fur'ners describe. (Actually, if I encountered a TV that didn't turn on and off with the remote, I would assume the remote was broken and curse at it for a while, bless its little heart.)
-------------------- "In perfume, as in underwear, the scantiest of applications provides the greatest of returns." -Silas Sparkhammer Posts: 858 | From: Arlington, Texas | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by mags: ... There is a way to set the fridge on "Sabbath mode" ...
Coooool. I want a fridge with "Sabbath mode", when you open the door it plays the first few bars of Paranoid.
Posts: 629 | From: Greenwood, IN | Registered: Dec 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Ariadne: I have never seen a TV that wouldn't turn on with the remote after being turned off manually. Chalk it up to the lazy Americans!
I don't get how this would work. How does the TV received the Infrared signal if it's off? When you turn ours off on the set it's basically the same as unplugging it, no signs of life.
Because an American remote controlled television is never really completely off unless you unplug it. The set goes into a sort of sleep, but it is still half alert, waiting for your signals. Which is why, if you want to cut down on your electric bill or just your energy consumption and you're an American, you'll need to physically unplug many gadgets in order to stop them from draining electicity. Like my microwave with a digital clock on it. If I wanted it to REALLY power down, totally, I'd have to unplug it.
Lazy and wasteful, we 'Mericans.
Avril
-------------------- There is no failure unless one stops. --Ray Bradbury Posts: 2115 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Aug 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
Hmmm, now I understand the reactions of Americans on another forum when discussing the fact that the UK many ban standby on consumer electronics. When someone complained that they'd 'Actually have to get up to turn on the TV' I had seen it as the height of laziness, rather than a complete removal from what they were used to.
I knew that attitudes to energy conservation were less pronounced in the US than in the UK and much of Europe, but I'm now wondering if the difference is far more notable than I had assumed.
quote:Originally posted by emmastarr: Well if it was posessed and he unplugged it he might get sucked into BIZARRO TV POSESSION GLURGE WORLD where he was forced to endure painfully tenuous extended metaphors and nibbled by satanic puppies.
Best - first post - EVER.
Welcome aboard emmastarr!
-------------------- Silence should never under any circumstances be construed as agreement. A lot of the time, it's simply a reflection that someone just said something so stupid that no response could possibly do it justice. - Ramblin' Dave Posts: 8528 | From: Nottingham, England | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
I know this is possible in my country because it actually happened to me. Turned off the TV manually, and it went right back on. Scratched my head, turned it off again, and it immediatly turned itself on. It took me a bit to realize my kid was messing with the remote (no malice there, he was 1.5 at the time).
What I hadn't realized is that God was talking to me. I'll have to get back to him someday.
BTW, I asked all of my DVD's, but none of them are Christian. I think they're mostly agnostic, but I suspect some of those anime ones may be closet shintoists...
-------------------- "The system would also let you send your picture and contact details to a rough trade gay contact mailing list saying you like to be surprised with power tools in a non-consensual role play scenario – but that doesn’t mean you SHOULD do it.!" Posts: 298 | From: Monterrey, Mexico | Registered: May 2005
| IP: Logged |
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[fish]](graemlins/fish.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
![[lol]](graemlins/lol.gif)
