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yogi cat
I Saw Three Shipments


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I woke up to this one this morning:


Keepers-


I grew up in the 40s/50s with practical parents. A mother, God love her,
who washed aluminum foil after she cooked in it, then reused it. She was
the original recycle queen, before they had a Name for it...
A father who was happier getting old shoes fixed than buying new ones.

Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their best friends lived
barely a wave away. I can see them now, Dad in trousers, tee shirt and a
hat and Mom in a house dress, lawn mower in one hand, and dish-towel in the
other. It was the time for fixing things.
A curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem in a
dress Things we keep.

It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy.
All that re-fixing, eating, renewing, I wanted just once to be wasteful.
Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there'd always
be more.

But then my mother died, and on that clear summer's night, in the warmth
of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that
sometimes
there isn't any more.

Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes away...never
to return. So... while we have it... it's best we love it.... and care for
it... and fix it when it's broken...... and heal it when it's sick.

This is true. for marriage..... and old cars.... and children with bad
report cards..... and dogs with bad hips.... and aging parents..... and
grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth
it. Some things we keep. Like a best friend that moved away or a classmate
we grew up with.

There are just some things that make life important, like people we know
who are special..... and so, we keep them close!

I received this from someone who thinks I am a 'keeper', so I've sent it
to the people I think of in the same way.. Now it's your turn to send this
to those people that are "keepers" in your life.
Good friends are like stars.... You don't always see them, but you know
they are always there.

Keep them close!

TEN THINGS GOD WON'T ASK ON THAT DAY.

1... God won't ask what kind of car you drove. He'll ask how many people
you drove who didn't have transportation.

2... God won't ask the square footage of your house, He'll ask how many
people you welcomed into your home.

3... God won't ask about the clothes you had in your closet, He'll ask how
many you helped to clothe.

4... God won't ask what your highest salary was. He'll ask if you
compromised your character to obtain it.

5... God won't ask what your job title was. He'll ask if you performed
your job to the best of our ability.

6... God won't ask how many friends you had. He'll ask how many people to
whom you were a friend.

7... God won't ask in what neighborhood you lived, He'll ask how you
treated your neighbors.

8... God won't ask about the color of your skin, He'll ask about the
content of your character.

9... God won't ask why it took you so long to seek Salvation. He'll
lovingly take you to your mansion in heaven, and not to the gates of Hell.

10... God won't have to ask how many people you forwarded this to, He
already knows your decision.
__________________________________________________


I love the actual threat replaced by the ominous "He already knows your decision."
Beautiful!

...and I do think sometimes we keep them because it is illegal to kill them...

--------------------
We criticize a thinker more sharply when he presents us with a displeasing proposition; and yet it would be more reasonable to do this when his proposition pleases us.
--Nietzsche

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Troberg
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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I'm pretty sure god will only ask me one question:

"What the h*ll were you thinking!?!?!"

or perhaps:

"Oh my me, what are you going to do with that crowbar!?!?!"

--------------------
/Troberg

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NorthernLite
We Three Blings


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Will this test be mutiple choice or essay? 'Cause if these are essay questions, I'm gonna be seriously NFBSKed

--------------------
You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons. -Blazing Saddles

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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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The second half of this message is well travelled.

Methinks the glurgers have given up. Nothing new under the sun of God and the angels.

--------------------
People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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Esprise Me
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Oh, my God. My parents are going to DIE because I throw out foil after one use.

And I step on cracks in the sidewalk. I'm a monster.

--------------------
"If God wrote it, the grammar must be infallible. Perhaps it is we who are mistaken." -MapleLeaf

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Ryda Wong, EBfCo.
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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And here I thought this was going to be about the revolution in menstrual products......That would have been far more engaging.

--------------------
So many spankings! It feels so good! But at the same time, I don't care about meeting your family! - I'mNotDedalus:

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Ramblin' Dave, quietly making noise
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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Same here, Ryda. I was expecting that poem about being "no longer a slave to the 'pon." [Big Grin]

--------------------
Another lifetime I'd have fallen in love with you
Swept away by my feelings, ashamed and confused
But just now it's enough to be walking with you
Let the mystery play as it will! -Lui Collins

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Elphaba Fabala Elphie Fae
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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It's Frankenglurge! Bar the doors, lock the windows, hide the children!

Eeshk.

--------------------
The Wicked Witch of the West was FRAMED!

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notgillcup
Deck the Malls


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quote:
and Mom in a house dress, lawn mower in one hand, and dish-towel in the other
Wow! That's one big mamma! With a big hand!

At most, I can only get my hand round the starting thingy of the mower. And I never try to dry dishes whilst cutting the grass. Teensy, tiny, lazy, lazy, me. Ahh, if only I had lived in the "40's/50's" - then I'd be "a Keeper". And, apparently, a giant.

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Drainfluid
Deck the Malls


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And...we...just...love...the...punctuation...
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notgillcup
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Drainfluid:
And...we...just...love...the...punctuation...

Yeah....I wondered about that,too. Glurge often has....strange punctuation...bad spelling....or other anomolies....such as...but not limited to...
1...random Capitalization
2...strange use of ALL caps
3...confusion's between using s and apostrophe s

But...I don't think I've ever seen such a gratuitous use...of ellipses...

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jessboo
The First USA Noel


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if god already knows my decisions about foerwarding the email, surely he knows the answers to all the other questions?

--------------------
Join me on Lost - www.lost.eu/edcf

Do you have any wine? All of this would go a lot smoother in an altered state of reality.

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Bettie Page Turner
Happy Holly Days


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quote:
Originally posted by Ryda Wong:
And here I thought this was going to be about the revolution in menstrual products......That would have been far more engaging.

Glurge about menstrual products? ::shudder::
Bettie realized that the blood coming from her hoo-hoo symbolized her private sins, making her life messy and shameful. Then her mother told her to think of her pads and tampons as being like Jesus, absorbing the sinful blood so that it could be cast away. "We're only human, honey," Mom said, "and no matter what we do, we will bleed from time to time. But if you keep Jesus in your heart, and a tampon in your purse, things will be all right."

--------------------
You fail to consider, for such is the tyranny of fashion, that the swan is not a slim animal... -Jincy Kornhauser, Melinda Falling

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Ryda Wong, EBfCo.
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by Bettie Page Turner:
quote:
Originally posted by Ryda Wong:
And here I thought this was going to be about the revolution in menstrual products......That would have been far more engaging.

Glurge about menstrual products? ::shudder::
Bettie realized that the blood coming from her hoo-hoo symbolized her private sins, making her life messy and shameful. Then her mother told her to think of her pads and tampons as being like Jesus, absorbing the sinful blood so that it could be cast away. "We're only human, honey," Mom said, "and no matter what we do, we will bleed from time to time. But if you keep Jesus in your heart, and a tampon in your purse, things will be all right."

NOOOO! Not glurge! Just a discussion.....Dear goddess, Bettie! Did you have to do that to me this early in the morning!

--------------------
So many spankings! It feels so good! But at the same time, I don't care about meeting your family! - I'mNotDedalus:

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Bettie Page Turner
Happy Holly Days


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C'mon, Ryda! Swallow your Midol and take it like a woman! [Razz] [lol]

--------------------
You fail to consider, for such is the tyranny of fashion, that the swan is not a slim animal... -Jincy Kornhauser, Melinda Falling

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jenovatrix
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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quote:
Originally posted by yogi cat:

1... God won't ask what kind of car you drove. He'll ask how many people
you drove who didn't have transportation.


"Only one...who happened to be a GHOST HITCHHIKER! I was so scared I lost control of the car and plowed into a tree, and that's why I'm here. Thanks a lot, God!" [fish]

--------------------
"Flaming Bags of Poo should not be delivered indefinitely after a bad date." - Sims 2 patch fix
my space ::my kitty friend, Orion

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TrishDaDish
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
1... God won't ask what kind of car you drove. He'll ask how many people you drove who didn't have transportation.
Yo, God. Big G. You see and know all, right? So you know that I don't know how to drive, don't have a license, and therefore don't have a car. Don't give me a big plastic hassle that I wasn't your personal taxi service in life.

--------------------
I would prefer not to.
My blog

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Communication Attempt
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
Originally posted by yogi cat:

5... God won't ask what your job title was. He'll ask if you performed
your job to the best of our ability.

About that,I smuggle illegal drugs and weapons for a living,but my shipments always arrive on time.So we're cool God?

--------------------
"I love God,he's so deliciously evil!" -Stewie,Family Guy

The fun thing about standards is that they come in so many varieties.

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Amigone201
Happy Holly Days


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There are all those statements of what God will ask. I thought it was all totally irrelevant what you did, as long as you accepted Jesus as your savior. Or is that another kind of Christianity?

Cuz I wanna go to that Christianity instead of this one where you have to actually DO stuff.

--------------------
Check out my blog! http://fundiewatch.blogspot.com

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BrianB
Happy Holly Days


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quote:
Originally posted by Canuckistan:
The second half of this message is well travelled.

The first half is well traveled too. Frankenglurge strikes again.  -
Brian

--------------------
"Dear Big Foot Smellers: Please don't quote me on some of this information." John F. Winston

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Honey Bunching Oats
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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quote:
Originally posted by Amigone201:
There are all those statements of what God will ask. I thought it was all totally irrelevant what you did, as long as you accepted Jesus as your savior. Or is that another kind of Christianity?

Cuz I wanna go to that Christianity instead of this one where you have to actually DO stuff.

Do you mean Calvinism? Where you are born saved, and you know this because you accept Jesus Christ as your savior. You are blessed and you are rewarded with all good things in life. So he who dies with the most toys wins. That's what I consider pCmism.

I don't even want to think about heaven. I live my life asking my higher power for the knowledge to know her will. Since I have know idea who or what this God entity is. I try not to form images of God that would be idolatrous.

I give my approval to this glurge for taking a strong stance against Mammon. There's too many so-called "christians" who say they serve God but also seve Mammon.

Honey Bunching "Matthew 6:24" Oats

--------------------
"When we talk about democracy, if the people's stomach is empty, democracy is also empty. Democracy cannot be installed by fiat; it must be achieved by the people themselves." Y.C. James Yen (1893-1990)

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Drainfluid
Deck the Malls


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For some reason the word Mammon always sounds to me like a sandwich spread. Especially because people always seem to be serving it.
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Mr. Baggins
Deck the Malls


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I don't care what God asks on that day, he's getting the same answer: "Dude, aren't you suppose to know that already?".

--------------------
"The system would also let you send your picture and contact details to a rough trade gay contact mailing list saying you like to be surprised with power tools in a non-consensual role play scenario – but that doesn’t mean you SHOULD do it.!"

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DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by jenovatrix:
quote:
Originally posted by yogi cat:

1

"Only one...who happened to be a GHOST HITCHHIKER! I was so scared I lost control of the car and plowed into a tree, and that's why I'm here.
See what happens when you don't let Jesus take the wheel? [Big Grin]

--------------------
Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!!

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Mickey Blue
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Oh god I hate that damn song.. It seems everybody I work with is in love with country and that song must be hot right now cause its always playing..

--------------------
"All people are responsible for the good that they didn't do"

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Gale
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Hmmm. My practical mother would accuse you of drinking in the middle of the day if you suggested she waste her valuable time on something as half-baked as washing aluminum foil. She's a lot like her practical mother who is near 90 now, and has openly stated that the good ol' days frankly sucked. She's got better things to do than wash dishes and clothes; she loves the hum of her appliances. She'd much rather play bridge than keep house. And she's pretty good at it, too.
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