snopes.com Post new topic  Post a reply
search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Hello snopes.com » Urban Legends » Glurge Gallery » Jesus died from... jealousy? (Page 2)

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!   This topic comprises 2 pages: 1  2   
Author Topic: Jesus died from... jealousy?
Aptenodytes_Forsteriis
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Aptenodytes_Forsteriis     Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
You guys are all missing the point of this tragic story. Ashley was gay and unable to admit it. She killed herself in the CLOSET. She spied on Courtney's house not Jack's. She wants us all to know about Courtney, in other words about her forbidden love for Courtney. She was unhappy with Jack for messing with the girl she loved.

Emma, by the way is clearly the counselor who tried to help Ashley through all of this. This terrible tragedy could have been avoided if someone had just let Jack know. Then he would have happily asked Ashley in to join the party at Courtney's.

The true moral of the story ladies is that you should always go along with your boyfriend when he wants a three way with you and one of the other three most popular girls in school. If you say no, you just might end up dead in a closet and your Mom won't even look for you for a week.

--------------------
'Hello, assorted humanoid strangers. You are standing casually in our forest. This bewilders us.' Blatherskite

Posts: 950 | From: Cincinnati, Ohio | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Lainie
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Lainie   E-mail Lainie   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Kathy B:
What Ashley did to one person who did not send this. --- One girl was looking through her e-mail and she deleted this message thinking it was another silly forward the next day she was found dead in her toilet.

IN the toilet? [Eek!] Was she a girl or a goldfish?

--------------------
How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black

Posts: 8322 | From: Columbus, OH | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
shifty rob
Jingle Bell Hock


Icon 1 posted      Profile for shifty rob     Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
If I understand the character assignments here:

Ashley=Jesus
Courtney=Judas
Jack=Mary Magdalene
Ashley's Mom=Joseph of Arimathea
Emma=Isaac Hayes

I may be a bit off on one or two of them.

--------------------
"They got a name for the winners in the world; I want a name when I lose" -Steely Dan

Posts: 480 | From: Tampa Bay, FL | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
MysticalChicken
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


Icon 1 posted      Profile for MysticalChicken   Author's Homepage   E-mail MysticalChicken   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
A note that read: My dearest Jack, I
watched you
at the
movie
and at
Courtney's house and I will continue to
watch you.

Funny, all of a sudden I'm hearing The Police's "Every Breath You Take" in my head...
Posts: 45 | From: Clackamas, Oregon | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
boogers
We Three Blings


Icon 1 posted      Profile for boogers   Author's Homepage   E-mail boogers   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
But if Ashley was Jesus she should have risen after 3 days and the closet would have been empty.
Posts: 1111 | From: Albuquerque, NM | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Aptenodytes_Forsteriis
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Aptenodytes_Forsteriis     Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by boogers:
But if Ashley was Jesus she should have risen after 3 days and the closet would have been empty.

She did; unfortunately her closet had no handles on the inside of the door so she couldn't get out. She redied of thirst in the four days before her Mom checked on her.

--------------------
'Hello, assorted humanoid strangers. You are standing casually in our forest. This bewilders us.' Blatherskite

Posts: 950 | From: Cincinnati, Ohio | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
piper
Deck the Malls


Icon 1 posted      Profile for piper   Author's Homepage   E-mail piper   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
shifty rob and Aptenodytes_Forsteriis, I am owed a new keyboard, and you two are going to have to fight it out over who gets it to me.

--------------------
"I shoot and crochet. I cook and mow the lawn. These things are not contradictions."
-pirateslife

Posts: 377 | From: Southern Illinois | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
shifty rob
Jingle Bell Hock


Icon 1 posted      Profile for shifty rob     Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
Piper-
I'll spring for the vowels if Aptenodytes_Forsteriis gets the consanents. You're on your own for the shift key and space bar.

I'll even throw in the "any" key.

--------------------
"They got a name for the winners in the world; I want a name when I lose" -Steely Dan

Posts: 480 | From: Tampa Bay, FL | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Major D. Saster
The First USA Noel


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Major D. Saster         Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
Is this supposed to be glurge ?

" I really
loved you
jack. I
died
for you just
like Jesus died for us."

Holy NFBSK, that's NFBSKing *blasphemy* ! [lol]

Look: the girl killed herself and left a note comparing her little selfish, disappointment-induced suicide with the Lord's sublime sacrifice. Well, I'd say that in Glurgeland, Ashley's roasting in Hell. [Big Grin]

Or, at best, the whole thing's another stooopid teenage ghost story not even good enough for a Halloween party. It also could have ended like:

"... and if you don't forward this, your phone will ring, and when you answer, you'll hear a voice whispering "seven days"..."

Or one could try to chant "Ashley" thirteen times in front of a mirror...

--------------------
Desperate, but not serious.

Posts: 689 | From: Confoederatio Helvetica | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Kid Kilowatt
Deck the Malls


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Kid Kilowatt   Author's Homepage     Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
God, that would be the most annoying haunting ever.
"Iiii aaaammmm Ashleeey's ghooost. Thhaaat boooy kiiissed my frieennd. Ooooooohhhh..."
I'm forwarding this thing just in case. Who wants an overly dramatic teenage girl haunting them for eternity?

--------------------
The book says, "We might be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us."
- Magnolia

Posts: 252 | From: East Greenwich, RI, what! | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


Icon 506 posted      Profile for Canuckistan   E-mail Canuckistan   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Kid Kilowatt:
Who wants an overly dramatic teenage girl haunting them for eternity?

For the first time in years, I've had to take a bus into work during rush hour, just as junior and high schools let out.

There is no situation in the world that can't be made worse by screamingly dramatic teenagers.

--------------------
People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

Posts: 8429 | From: New York run by the Swiss (Toronto) | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Aptenodytes_Forsteriis
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Aptenodytes_Forsteriis     Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
waffles, with cherries. Cause cherries are good

--------------------
'Hello, assorted humanoid strangers. You are standing casually in our forest. This bewilders us.' Blatherskite

Posts: 950 | From: Cincinnati, Ohio | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Aptenodytes_Forsteriis
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


Icon 1 posted      Profile for Aptenodytes_Forsteriis     Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by shifty rob:
Piper-
I'll spring for the vowels if Aptenodytes_Forsteriis gets the consanents. You're on your own for the shift key and space bar.

I'll even throw in the "any" key.

sorry, I was out of town. I'll get the consonants but only if you get the vowels AND the number pad. ashley can provide the space bar

--------------------
'Hello, assorted humanoid strangers. You are standing casually in our forest. This bewilders us.' Blatherskite

Posts: 950 | From: Cincinnati, Ohio | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
ringotaku
I Saw Three Shipments


Icon 1 posted      Profile for ringotaku   E-mail ringotaku   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
how many times do I have to say it?

Teenage girls are only good for one thing. And talking isn't it.

Oh yeah and Jesus is so much cooler than any of us. That's why we all want to be like him.

--------------------
Just when you think you have all the answers, I change the questions.

Posts: 76 | From: Dublin, GA | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
shifty rob
Jingle Bell Hock


Icon 1 posted      Profile for shifty rob     Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Aptenodytes_Forsteriis:
quote:
Originally posted by shifty rob:
Piper-
I'll spring for the vowels if Aptenodytes_Forsteriis gets the consanents. You're on your own for the shift key and space bar.

I'll even throw in the "any" key.

sorry, I was out of town. I'll get the consonants but only if you get the vowels AND the number pad. ashley can provide the space bar
I know a guy from Jersey with some "Caps Lock" keys that fell off a truck; maybe he can throw in "Ctrl" "Alt" and "Delete"?

--------------------
"They got a name for the winners in the world; I want a name when I lose" -Steely Dan

Posts: 480 | From: Tampa Bay, FL | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
The Goof
Deck the Malls


Icon 1 posted      Profile for The Goof     Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
I was touched by that story, or maybe it was just Courtney touching me.

--------------------
"It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid,than to open it and remove all doubt."- Mark Twain

Posts: 426 | From: Tucson, AZ (The Old Pueblo) | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


Icon 506 posted      Profile for Canuckistan   E-mail Canuckistan   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by shifty rob:
I know a guy from Jersey with some "Caps Lock" keys that fell off a truck; maybe he can throw in "Ctrl" "Alt" and "Delete"?

As long as someone throws me an escape key to deal with this kind of glurge, I'm happy.

--------------------
People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

Posts: 8429 | From: New York run by the Swiss (Toronto) | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


Icon 506 posted      Profile for Canuckistan   E-mail Canuckistan   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by The Goof:
I was touched by that story, or maybe it was just Courtney touching me.

No, no, no. That was Ashley touching you. Have you forgotten already?

Boy, is Ashley going to be p*ssed now.

--------------------
People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

Posts: 8429 | From: New York run by the Swiss (Toronto) | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
  This topic comprises 2 pages: 1  2   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post new topic  Post a reply Close topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Urban Legends Reference Pages

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classic™ 6.7.2