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Author Topic: Smoke Out the Atheists
Starla
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by Em:
Reglurgitation, and again


Aaawww! That was my very first snopes post. [Smile]

Memories...

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This used to be the life, but I don't need another one.
MyBandwagon

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Richard W
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Starla:
quote:
Originally posted by Em:
Reglurgitation, and again


Aaawww! That was my very first snopes post. [Smile]

Memories...

Really? Sorry - this is a complete hijack but I'd always assumed you were the same Starla that used to post on the pre-UBB board and for a few years after, and that you'd just gone away for a bit...
Posts: 8725 | From: Ipswich - the UK's 9th Best Place to Sleep! | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
LeaflessMapleTree
The twelve shopping days 'til Christmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Doug4.7:
This thread has been around a while, but when I saw it, I thought of the Deep Purple song, Smoke on the Water ("Smoooooooke out the Athiest!" bamb bamb bammm, bamb bamb da bammm, bamb bamb bammm, bamp bumm....). [fish]

We all went down to Jesus
True believer in us all
But on the way we saw an athiest
He was hurtin' kids down at the mall

So then we whipped out a bible
And we told him to take a look
He didn't respond, so I pull out
Somethin' that'd hurt him much more than a book

Smoooooooke out the Athiest!
Fire on his small soul!
Smoooooooke out the Athiest!

(bam bam bahmn bum bum bunhamn)

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"For me, religion is like a rhinoceros: I don't have one, and I'd really prefer not to be trampled by yours. But it is impressive, and even beautiful, and, to be honest, the world would be slightly worse off if there weren't any."
-Silas Sparkhammer

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Doug4.7
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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quote:
Originally posted by LeaflessMapleTree:
We all went down to Jesus
True believer in us all
But on the way we saw an athiest
He was hurtin' kids down at the mall

So then we whipped out a bible
And we told him to take a look
He didn't respond, so I pull out
Somethin' that'd hurt him much more than a book

Smoooooooke out the Athiest!
Fire on his small soul!
Smoooooooke out the Athiest!

(bam bam bahmn bum bum bunhamn)

[lol] That was good!

The only thing I would change is the first line:

"We all went down to Lynchburg...."

Double reason for Lynchburg fitting so well (the university AND the lynch part...).

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And now for something completely different...

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Cactus Wren
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
Originally posted by Samantha Vimes:
20 out of 2000 didn't run... probably the ones who came in wheelchairs, or with walkers, or guide dogs.

And the glurge writer, who when faced with the reality of what he'd written, was found weeping and trembling on the church floor in a pool of his own urine.

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“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.” -- Edward R. Murrow

IOToriSparrowANK!

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ULTRAGLORIA
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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I don't get it.

So a random terrorist walks into a church and asks who wants to "take a bullet for Jesus".

Just how, exactly, is following the directives of an evil man a good thing?

I mean, what kind of thinking is going through the writer's head?

Everyone running away from the armed evil terrorist is a hypocrite?

Jesus wants His followers to get shot by armed evil men?

Staying to get shot by an armed evil man proves what?

How does any of that even compute?

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A Lie can run around the world before the Truth can get its boots on. - Terry Pratchett

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions; but everyone is not entitled to their own facts. - Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan

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ChelleGame
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Right, it's presumptuous that these people who did not obey are athiests. Perhaps they were using their God given noggins to decide that theses lunatics were unstable sociopathics, and the voices in their head were not divine in nature.

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Michelle

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Doug4.7
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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quote:
Originally posted by ULTRAGLORIA:
I don't get it.

Let me see if I can explain the meaning behind the glurge that I hope the author meant to convey (but did such a poor job). Now I am attempting this because at least partially, I can feel somewhat the same way...

It may come as a surprise to snopsters, but many people profess to be Christian because of the benefits here on Earth and NOT because of the benefits in the hereafter. They are Christians only in name. They are the ones who put the fish symbol in the window of their business but cheat the folks that come in to their store.

I have "problems" with these folks and I guess the author of the glurge does also. My flippant line has always been that we need a good Christian persecution (you know, lions and such) to separate the Christians from those who just find it the best way to make connections and a profit.

Here in the South, it can really help to let people know you are a 'good Christian'. It can get you a better job, more status in the community, etc. It is profitable to say you are 'Christian'.

So I say/write things like, "What if having that little fish symbol on your bumper would actually cause a police officer to pull you over and make up some reason to give you a ticket? What if it could get you legally shot by the officer? How many 'Christians' would quickly remove it from their cars?"

This person uses the killer in a church idea. And a glurge is born.

--------------------
And now for something completely different...

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ULTRAGLORIA
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by Doug4.7:
So I say/write things like, "What if having that little fish symbol on your bumper would actually cause a police officer to pull you over and make up some reason to give you a ticket? What if it could get you legally shot by the officer? How many 'Christians' would quickly remove it from their cars?"

This person uses the killer in a church idea. And a glurge is born.

I get that. I get being willing to die for your faith.

What I don't get is how running away from an evil terrorist pointing a gun at you and saying "Who wants to take a bullet for Jesus?" is even a tiny bit hypocritical?

Running away from an evil man trying to kill you doesn't voilate any tenents of the faith. Unless you trample little old ladies and kiddies when you do it.

Attending worship when people take random pot shots at you on the way demonstrates your faith.

Returning $47,000.00 you found under a seat at a theatre, despite jeers from your 'friends', demonstrates your faith.

Asking the evil person to shoot you first to try to save the younger kids demonstrates your faith.

Staying to be shot by an evil person for no other reason than "Who wants to take a bullet for Jesus?" does not.

--------------------
A Lie can run around the world before the Truth can get its boots on. - Terry Pratchett

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions; but everyone is not entitled to their own facts. - Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan

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Anyte
Jingle Bell Hock


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She Said Yes Or did she?
http://www.positiveatheism.org/writ/casshoax.htm

Edited because the post button is different from the other buttons

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Too broke to pay attention

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Doug4.7
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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quote:
Originally posted by ULTRAGLORIA:
I get that. I get being willing to die for your faith.

What I don't get is how running away from an evil terrorist pointing a gun at you and saying "Who wants to take a bullet for Jesus?" is even a tiny bit hypocritical?

Running away from an evil man trying to kill you doesn't voilate any tenents of the faith. Unless you trample little old ladies and kiddies when you do it.

Attending worship when people take random pot shots at you on the way demonstrates your faith.

Returning $47,000.00 you found under a seat at a theatre, despite jeers from your 'friends', demonstrates your faith.

Asking the evil person to shoot you first to try to save the younger kids demonstrates your faith.

Staying to be shot by an evil person for no other reason than "Who wants to take a bullet for Jesus?" does not.

I would fully agree with you.

What I was trying to do was to draw you into the mind of the glurger....

Okay, maybe that's a bad idea. There are some things we should never know: 1) how sausage is made, and 2) understand the mind of a glurger... [Wink]

--------------------
And now for something completely different...

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ULTRAGLORIA
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by Doug4.7:
What I was trying to do was to draw you into the mind of the glurger....

Argh!

What have I ever done to you to deserve that kind of treatment!

--------------------
A Lie can run around the world before the Truth can get its boots on. - Terry Pratchett

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions; but everyone is not entitled to their own facts. - Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan

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Doug4.7
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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quote:
Originally posted by ULTRAGLORIA:
quote:
Originally posted by Doug4.7:
What I was trying to do was to draw you into the mind of the glurger....

Argh!

What have I ever done to you to deserve that kind of treatment!

I really do apologize. That was NOT one of my best ideas..... [Wink]

All I can think of is, "This is you brain... This is your brain on glurge.... (BAM!). Any qestions?"

--------------------
And now for something completely different...

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Starla
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by Richard W:
quote:
Originally posted by Starla:
quote:
Originally posted by Em:
Reglurgitation, and again


Aaawww! That was my very first snopes post. [Smile]

Memories...

Really? Sorry - this is a complete hijack but I'd always assumed you were the same Starla that used to post on the pre-UBB board and for a few years after, and that you'd just gone away for a bit...
Really. I didn't know there had been another Starla until I had been posting on snopes for over a year.

--------------------
This used to be the life, but I don't need another one.
MyBandwagon

Posts: 3254 | From: small town Texas | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Richard W
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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I guess I thought you'd changed a bit, but I wasn't really paying attention, and I think the other Starla went off and had children too so I wondered if that had made a difference...
Posts: 8725 | From: Ipswich - the UK's 9th Best Place to Sleep! | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
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