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We all know glurge can be annoying, but sometimes it gets downright insulting. Which "heart-warming story" discussed on this board has caused you the most grief, and what bothered you the most about it?
I would choose Angels in the Alley for all the reasons mentioned in the article. (I know it's a cheat, but Barbara has already said everything much better than I could.)
-------------------- "It's a perfect system...unless it screws up." -Biology Professor Posts: 495 | From: Orange County, CA | Registered: Oct 2005
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Angels in the Alley for me, too. Despicable.
-------------------- I can't believe it's not Square! Posts: 3147 | From: W-S, North Carolina | Registered: Oct 2005
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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
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More recently, it has to be the coal miners' glurge. Nothing like moralizing about a tragedy, especially when it happened three days before the glurge appeared here.
I really hope that whoever wrote that crap gets trapped in a coal mine someday. Then has a story written about them.
-------------------- People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril) Posts: 8429 | From: New York run by the Swiss (Toronto) | Registered: Mar 2005
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The coal miners glurge or any glurge that exploits a real life tradgedy whether it be 9/11 or Terry Schiavo...
-------------------- It's like they took a bunch of movies, put them in a blender and turned it on really fast!-Mystery Science Theater 3000 Posts: 2603 | From: Magna, Utah | Registered: Aug 2004
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I don't know if it counts as glurge, but the one from just after 9/11 about the college students getting kicked out of the restaurant in Idaho certainly ticked me off. An off the wall right-wing acquaintance of mine posted that on another board I used to frequent, prefacing it with the comment "It's good news whether it's true or not." I took great pleasure in posting a copy of the letter from the university president saying it hadn't happened.
But now that I read the other responses, I think Angels in the Alley is even worse.
-------------------- Another lifetime I'd have fallen in love with you Swept away by my feelings, ashamed and confused But just now it's enough to be walking with you Let the mystery play as it will! -Lui Collins Posts: 2669 | From: Jouy en Josas, France | Registered: May 2005
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I'll vote Angels in the Alley as well... NFBSKing glurge writing....
-------------------- "I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, EVIL stuff... and I want in."- Homer Simpson Posts: 2161 | From: Delaware | Registered: Aug 2005
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the 9/11 one written from the point of view of a young child on one of the planes.
-------------------- "this could increase your brain power, or it could kill you..." "Increase my killing power, ehh???" Posts: 1153 | From: Houston, TX | Registered: Nov 2000
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quote:Originally posted by mouse goddess: the 9/11 one written from the point of view of a young child on one of the planes.
I've never heard of that one.
-------------------- It's like they took a bunch of movies, put them in a blender and turned it on really fast!-Mystery Science Theater 3000 Posts: 2603 | From: Magna, Utah | Registered: Aug 2004
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It was posted in Glurge Gallery around that time, I don't know if it can be found in archives or not.
-------------------- "this could increase your brain power, or it could kill you..." "Increase my killing power, ehh???" Posts: 1153 | From: Houston, TX | Registered: Nov 2000
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I can't stand any kind of 'moralizing' glurge either, especially anything involving suggestions as to how 'Christian' or not someone is/was. The coal miners' glurge really took the cake in that regard.
-------------------- I love a sunburnt country, a land of sweeping plains - that's why I live in Melbourne, where it always bloody rains. Posts: 632 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Nov 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Canuckistan: More recently, it has to be the coal miners' glurge. Nothing like moralizing about a tragedy, especially when it happened three days before the glurge appeared here.
That's my pick as well for the reason you mentioned. I also hate the 'women' glurges, the ones that read 'the most loving woman may be single' or some NFBSK like that. It's just so sappy.
-------------------- Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!! Posts: 4771 | From: The Berkeley of the East Coast: Montgomery County MD | Registered: Mar 2003
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I hate glurges that involve older people telling us how it was in the "good old days".
-------------------- It's like they took a bunch of movies, put them in a blender and turned it on really fast!-Mystery Science Theater 3000 Posts: 2603 | From: Magna, Utah | Registered: Aug 2004
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I hate the glurges that basically suggest that because group X (in most cases atheists, or at least non-christians) make up a minority of the population in America they should just shut the hell up..
One, I think called 14% or something like that (implying that christians made up 86% of the country) was particularly bad.
-------------------- "All people are responsible for the good that they didn't do" Posts: 4774 | From: Virginia | Registered: Feb 2004
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Apart from the fact that the Coal Miners' Glurge has to be it for the above mentioned reasons, I really and literally hate two elements:
Straw Man glurges. All these old ladies telling off students who claim something that actually no one ever claimed. Especially bad if their reasoning for being right (but then those old ladies admittedly would be veterans) is only that they served in the military.
Hate glurges. All those Christian (or sometimes, but more rarely, uberpatriotic) glurges that do not go for how much better it is to be a Christian, but tell us how everyone not agreeing is of lesser worth.
-------------------- Movie characters never make typing mistakes. Posts: 586 | From: Hamburg, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005
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Any glurge that says that Jesus loves certain people more than others, or would happily smite all those who oppose his followers.
Glurge about how special and angelic retarded people and children are and how they know so much more about God.
Basically any pseudo-theological glurge. I don't even believe, but glurge twists Christian theology around so badly it faces the opposite direction.
-------------------- Officially Heartless Posts: 3065 | From: The Montgomery County of the West Coast- Berkeley, CA | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by VersesBatman: I hate glurges that involve older people telling us how it was in the "good old days".
I hate those alot. Especially since they fail to mention things like, oh, segregation and polio. Good old days indeed.
I also hate those horrible glurges that trivialize and taint our greatest tragedies. Daisy the 9/11 Dog, the Miner glurge, and anything that tries to unravel the mysteries of "great merciful god" through the most contrived, Norman Rockwellian-Hallmark card speak.
Don't get me started on those glurges about war protesters, a commie book-learnin' folk being chased out of Dennys by gangs of fat middle american's singing "My County 'tis of Thee"
Yeah, I hate alot of glurge...
-------------------- GLOBO-CHEM, We own everything, so you don't have to... Posts: 9 | From: Sunnyvale, CA | Registered: Jan 2006
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One glurge that I found offensive was a drawing that depeicted Terry Schiavo as Jesus.
-------------------- It's like they took a bunch of movies, put them in a blender and turned it on really fast!-Mystery Science Theater 3000 Posts: 2603 | From: Magna, Utah | Registered: Aug 2004
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-------------------- It's like they took a bunch of movies, put them in a blender and turned it on really fast!-Mystery Science Theater 3000 Posts: 2603 | From: Magna, Utah | Registered: Aug 2004
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I hate the glurge that gives christians an exscuse to act like..for lack of better word.... dickheads.
It's okay to threaten the commie, or to disrupt an athiest teacher's class, or try to jam up someone's mail office just because they don't agree with you.
I have never gotten how glurge writers are able to sell their stuff to a group that they make look like complete bastards.
But then again, I've written glurge (sorry!) for a quick buck, and purposely made the christians in it horrible people (sorry!, again) and they still ate it up.
-------------------- "I still say Obi-wan Kenobi was The Force's bitch." Posts: 820 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Nov 2004
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It might be better to say what glurge we find the LEAST offensive. My vote goes to the Shoe Day glurge.
-------------------- Leashes?! We don't need no stinking leashes!! Posts: 4771 | From: The Berkeley of the East Coast: Montgomery County MD | Registered: Mar 2003
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I'd like to offer an honorable mention for any glurge that can basically be broken down into the following theme: "Jesus Loves War!"
There's an entire INDUSTRY of glurge out there dedicated to insisting that Jesus would support things that would probably have appalled the real guy. In this strange little world in people's minds, Jesus loves war, hates entire classes of people, causes disease, and holds lives hostage in exchange for salvation. However, let's all give a big shout out to the one most driven by current events: Jesus Loves War.
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Angels in the Alley has to be the crown prince of offensive glurge.
But in general, I hate that kind of glurge that has some pompous atheist being shown up by the god-fearing Christians. Not because it shows up my kind, but because my kind are always presented as trying to show up Christianity. Really, we don't. There are very few evangelical atheists. We really don't care if you want to believe in a god, and most of us have no interest in trying to change anyone, so the setups in these glurges are unrealistic portrayals designed specifically just to be knocked down by the Christian.
-------------------- "We don't keep a certified whale-vomit expert on staff." - Larry Penny, Director, Natural Resources Department, Town of East Hampton Posts: 377 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by DawnStorm: It might be better to say what glurge we find the LEAST offensive. My vote goes to the Shoe Day glurge.
From people's reactions around here, I'd say The Rainbow Bridge. Something about it just automatically bypasses the gag reflex.
Posts: 2787 | From: California | Registered: Feb 2000
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The glurges I dislike the most are the ones which has Christ acting unChristlike. Jesus does not smite people because they believe differently than the glurgewriter believes.
-------------------- Ad astra per asparagus. Posts: 4806 | From: Groton, CT | Registered: Jul 2005
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I found the Sago Miners one really bad but most of the rest are just too silly for me. I am sure this is my Britishness coming out.
-------------------- Focus On The Family- An opinion group who think more about Gay Sex than gay people do- Rick Mercer Posts: 590 | From: Rawdon, Quebec | Registered: Nov 2005
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I found the Sago Miners one really bad but most of the rest are just too silly for me. I am sure this is my Britishness coming out.
-------------------- Focus On The Family- An opinion group who think more about Gay Sex than gay people do- Rick Mercer Posts: 590 | From: Rawdon, Quebec | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Brandi: From people's reactions around here, I'd say The Rainbow Bridge. Something about it just automatically bypasses the gag reflex.
What's that one? I've searched the Glurge Gallery, the main site and the archives, but haven't found it.
Posts: 340 | From: Redmond, WA | Registered: Jul 2004
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-------------------- "We don't keep a certified whale-vomit expert on staff." - Larry Penny, Director, Natural Resources Department, Town of East Hampton Posts: 377 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Nov 2005
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Thanks NZUL. Now I've got an image of four demented guinea pigs chasing after me on their little tiny legs as I'm trying to get into heaven.
Posts: 340 | From: Redmond, WA | Registered: Jul 2004
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quote:Originally posted by VersesBatman: I hate glurges that involve older people telling us how it was in the "good old days".
I hate those alot. Especially since they fail to mention things like, oh, segregation and polio. Good old days indeed.
Thirded. I particularly despise the one often called "Talking to Dad."
quote:Originally posted by NZUL: Angels in the Alley has to be the crown prince of offensive glurge.
What I find additionally disturbing about that one is that every time I received it there were all these messages from people saying how wonderful and inspiring it was. Brian
-------------------- "Dear Big Foot Smellers: Please don't quote me on some of this information." John F. Winston Posts: 1707 | From: Camarillo, CA | Registered: Mar 2000
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I'm also fairly offended by "The Independent Apple Branch," but that's probably because I just read it and the protective amnesia hasn't had a chance to kick in. Also, the first time I read it, I interpreted it as a message that you shouldn't pull away from your family, and I'm a bit hair-trigger on that subject, to be honest. I forgot the First Law of Glurge: when it doubt, it symbolizes Jeeeezus.
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I hate them all, but the most egregious IMO, is the Abortion glurge where Jesus tell the fetus that it was aborted so it can guilt trip "Mommy".
-------------------- "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." -Buddha Posts: 32 | From: Bronx, NY | Registered: Dec 2005
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quote:Originally posted by VersesBatman: I hate glurges that involve older people telling us how it was in the "good old days".
I hate those alot. Especially since they fail to mention things like, oh, segregation and polio. Good old days indeed.
Thirded. I particularly despise the one often called "Talking to Dad."
Yuck. I forgot about that one. I just hate how they make like their era was better than ours because they didn't have our technology. That always puzzles me. What was so great about kids getting crippled for life because of polio? What was so great about kids being denied a good education because of the color of their skin? Did this author think that people like Martin Luthor King were "radical", because they *gasp* protested?
-------------------- It's like they took a bunch of movies, put them in a blender and turned it on really fast!-Mystery Science Theater 3000 Posts: 2603 | From: Magna, Utah | Registered: Aug 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Mickey Blue: I hate the glurges that basically suggest that because group X (in most cases atheists, or at least non-christians) make up a minority of the population in America they should just shut the hell up..
One, I think called 14% or something like that (implying that christians made up 86% of the country) was particularly bad.
If memory serves, that was about the Pledge of Allegiance. Or possibly prayer in school. I didn't much care for the implication either, that I'm somehow marginalized because I'm outnumbered. I'd have to say those are my least favorite glurges as well.
Otherwise, I enjoy glurge. At least as it's posted here and then quickly de-glurged in several successive and ofter highly hilarious posts. This might just be my favorite forum here. Posts: 121 | From: Illinois | Registered: Jul 2005
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