(for full effect, imagine italics underlined in red)
LET 2006 BE THE BEST YEAR OF YOUR LIFE THROUGH FAITH AND PRAYER. GOD IS READY TO HELP YOU REACH YOUR DREAMS AND GOALS.
READ WHAT GOD IS DOING HERE AT [church].
Dear . . . Someone Connected with This Address,
People just like you are writing to this 55-year-old church, telling us of all types of blessings since this church started praying with them.They are receiving divine help in the form of answered prayer. Some are seing loved ones saved, and many of them are receiving spiritual, physical and financial blessings of all types - better jobs, raises in salaries, being able to buy and sell homes, buying new cars, and so on. Actually, these dear people are receiving so many blessings that it is impossible to mention them all in a letter. And, as you will read in the enclosed brochure a Sister Garcia used the same type of Bible faith prayer rug that we are sending to you, with this letter, and was blessed with almost $50,000! Now, we must talk to you about something we see, in the Holy Spirit, concerning you and your family's needs.
GOD's HOLY BLESSING POWER IS IN THE ENCLOSED ANOINTED PRAYER RUG WE ARE LOANING YOU TO USE!!!
WE MUST GIVE YOU THIS OPPORTUNITY FIRST . . . THEN IT MUST GO TO THE HOME OF ANOTHER DEAR FRIEND WHO NEEDS A BLESSING . . . You, or someone connected with this address, and another dear family are about to be blessed through this unusual Bible Faith, Curch, Prayer Rug, which we are placing in your care for these next 24 important hours. Because of any needs you are facing, we want you to use this Church Prayer Rug first, then we must pass it on to another dear friend of ours who also needs a blessing. As we pray for you and everyone connected with this address, WE FEEL THAT SOMETHING VERY WONDERFUL IS TRYING TO COME TO YOU.
When you use this Faith Church Prayer Rug, go into a room where you can be alone (just God and you). Turn off the television and radio and try to be by yourself when you kneel on this Holy Ghost, Bible Prayer Rug, or spread it over your knees. We want this Church Ministry, Prayer Rug to betouching both of your knees as you pray for the needs yo are facing right now. It is going to be like you are kneeling before God All Mighty at the alter inside a great church of blessings. If you need more joy, peace, health, money, a new car, a new house, healing in family communication, or whatever, we, as a very old (55 years) church, want to know about it. Check your prayer needs on page two of this letter. Talk to us.This power you and this church ministry are about to use works!
These next 24 important hours are crucial to you. Timing is important to God. After you kneel on this Church Prayer Rug, or place it over your knees, place it in a Bible, on Philippians 4:19. (If you don't have a Bible, it's okay - just slide it under your side of the bed, for tonight, if you can. If you can't do this, it is okay. Leave It There No Longer Than Tonight Only! God sees. Then, in the morning it is a must that you get this unusual blessing Church Prayer Rug out of this house and back to us, here at the church's chapel prayer room, in faith. We must also have this letter back, with whatever you need prayer for, printed on page two. You must get this Bible Prayer Rug back to us so we can rush it onto another family that's in need of a blessing. Do this without fail. Please, do not break this flow of power between us.
Notice the face of Jesus on this Church Prayer Rug. When you first look, you will notice that His eyes are closed. If you relax and continue looking straight into His eyes, you will see His eyes slowly opening, and He will begin looking back at you. Jesus sees your needs (Philippians 4:19). Use this unusuall, important Church Prayer Rug for tonight only.
Let us ask you: Would you like to have God's blessings upon your home, your family and your finances? Say, "Yes, Lord Jesus, I do need Your financial blessings upon me and my family's finances!" Deuteronomy 28.6. Just put a mark by your needs below, telling us that you want prayer. Also, check any other needs you are facing. Pray about sowing a seed gift to the Lord's work. Give God your best seed and beleive Him for His best blessing (St Luke 6:38). Now, go and use this Church, Faith, Prayer Rug. The Lord is watching and waiting. You are about to enter the Holy Spirit of God right here in your home, through this faith exercise. The, it is a must that you return it for another to use.
MAIL THIS PAGE BACK WITH THIS PRAYER RUG. NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF PRAYER!
Dear Brothers and Sisters at (name of church) 55-Year Old Church,
( ) I received this Church Prayer Rug you loaned me, and I used it as instructed in this letter of faith. Now, I am returning it to you for another to use.
( ) Yes, I do need the Lord's blessings upon my family and me!
Pray for my family and me for
( ) My Soul ( ) A Closer Walk With Jesus ( ) My Health ( ) A Family Member's Health ( ) Confusion In My Home ( ) My Children ( ) To Stop A Bad Habit ( ) A Better Job ( ) A Home To Call My Own ( ) A New Car ( ) A Money Blessing ( ) I Want To Be Saved ( ) Pray for God to bless me with this amount of money: $________ ( ) Please, especially pray for this person: ( ) Enclosed is my seed gift to God's work of $________
[name of church] MUST HAVE THIS PRAYER RUG BACK. PLEASE DO NOT MISPLACE IT. IT MUST GO TO ANOTHER HOME AFTER YOU USE IT.
BE SURE TO RETURN THIS PRAYER PAGE WITH THE RUG. IT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU TO DO SO. - THE CHURCH WILL PAY THE POSTAGE FOR YOU. YOU WILL RECEIVE A WONDERFUL FREE, SPIRITUAL GIFT THAT WILL BE A BLESSING TO YOU FOR A LIFETIME, AS SOON AS WE RECEIVE THIS BACK FROM YOU.
"ACCORDING TO YOUR FAITH BE IT UNTO YOU" ST. MATTHEW 9:29
PLEASE PRINT YOUR NAME.
[on ghastly purple-and-orange paper "rug," which was enclosed]
Look into Jesus's Eyes you will see they are closed. But as you continue to look you will see His eyes opening and looking back into your eyes. Then go and be alone and kneel on this Rug of Faith or touch it to both knees. Then please check your needs on our letter to you. Please return this Prayer Rug. Do not keep it.
"This Prayer Rug is Soaked with the Power of Prayer for you. Use it immediately, then please return it with your Prayer Needs Checked on our letter to you." It must be mailed to a second home that needs a blessing after you use it. Prayer works. Expect God's blessing.
Oh, and there was also an enclosed page of testimonials, most along the lines of "GOD BLESSED ME WITH OVER $5,000." I'm not going to type it in, because it's written in orange and purple. I don't think I could get through it without losing my eyesight or my mind or both.
So, a question from a humble student: is this glurge? Can glurge come by snail-mail?
Izunya (not even nice orange or nice purple!)
Posts: 138 | From: Knoxville, Tennessee | Registered: Nov 2005
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Dear God, I got the same letter sent to me, also. Blech. Just made me want to puke. Made me laugh for a full 2 minutes before I threw it away. Who the hell would want to believe that sort of thing?Well, the most gullible of the population.
quote:Notice the face of Jesus on this Church Prayer Rug. When you first look, you will notice that His eyes are closed. If you relax and continue looking straight into His eyes, you will see His eyes slowly opening, and He will begin looking back at you. Jesus sees your needs (Philippians 4:19). Use this unusuall, important Church Prayer Rug for tonight only.
Especially if you have smoked some pot that you'll see "Him" looking at you and start to talk to you. "Send me $10 million buckaroos and I'll bless your life to the fullest. More than you can ever imagine. Muhahahahaha!!!" But if you don't use the rug that night only, you'll have to suffer every nightmare and horror that God'll bring down on you.
-------------------- Don't blame me, my evil monkey did it. ----------------- Just remember, When everything seems difficult, I'll be shining from a far, When it feels like things have gone away, I'll see you again. Posts: 130 | From: Orange County, CA | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote: Notice the face of Jesus on this Church Prayer Rug.
Cool! I can auction it off on E-Bay!
-------------------- I love a sunburnt country, a land of sweeping plains - that's why I live in Melbourne, where it always bloody rains. Posts: 632 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Nov 2003
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Isn't that a very monetary way to look at Gods blessings?
quote: "Yes, Lord Jesus, I do need Your financial blessings upon me and my family's finances!" ( ) A Better Job ( ) A Home To Call My Own ( ) A New Car ( ) A Money Blessing ( ) Pray for God to bless me with this amount of money: $________
And what is that about?
quote: Timing is important to God.
-------------------- My spelling is Wobbly. It's good spelling, but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places. - Pooh Bear Posts: 2209 | From: Hamburg, Germany | Registered: Oct 2004
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I'm pretty sure all the members of my apparantly ancient by comparison (135 years) church would be appalled, as would the students at my pretty darn old (101 years) seminary.
I would take severe theological issue with what they are saying here and I would be inclined to write them a long, forceful letter about their practices. I've got half a mind to track down what church this is and write such a letter anyway.
-------------------- There is no failure unless one stops. --Ray Bradbury Posts: 2115 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Aug 2002
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I got the same thing in the mail yesterday. I checked it over, wondering if they wanted money, but there wasn't anything asking for money. However, the checklist they want sent back has my address on it and a place to fill in the name (it was sent to "Resident"). I have a feeling if I were to send this back, I'd be opening myself up to more junk mail from this "church".
-------------------- A little glitter can turn your whole day around.--Junie B. Jones
quote:Originally posted by Ganzfeld: Does anyone know if it's legal to send you something you didn't ask for and then require that you send it back?
I'm sure it is legal to send something and require you to send it back. As far as them actually being able to do anything via criminal or civil penalties to you if you don't send it back, I doubt there is anything they can do.
BTW, does it seem likethis letter was written by someonewho had just figured out how do to formatting includingitalics and bolding in Word and wanted to show off thier newskill?
-------------------- IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan Posts: 3694 | From: Arizona | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Izunya: Pray for my family and me for
( ) My Soul ( ) A Closer Walk With Jesus ( ) My Health ( ) A Family Member's Health (X) Confusion In My Home ( ) ...
Why, yes! Please, I don't yet have enough confusion in my home! Please send me more!
Arts "um, uh..." Myth
-------------------- Stupid, stupid rat creatures! - Bone "The missionaries told us not to cut ourselves. It displeases Jesus." - Elsie Clews Parsons, Kiowa Tales, quoted in The Mourner's Dance, Katherine Ashenburg Posts: 695 | From: Ottawa, Canada | Registered: Sep 2002
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quote:Originally posted by GenYus: BTW, does it seem likethis letter was written by someonewho had just figured out how do to formatting includingitalics and bolding in Word and wanted to show off thier newskill?
Nope - if it was new skills in Word, they would have thrown in Underlining as well
-------------------- "I'm singing and deranged!" Posts: 239 | From: Georgia | Registered: Dec 2004
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This is far out of the realm of any Christian teaching I have ever received. Praying for specific material benefits, praying to a false idol, God only being willing to dole out grace for a limited time, works being more important than faith, there being anything worth having other than God's grace, exaggeration... and of course the little known verse of Galatians that warns against poorly written, grammatically incorrect, and overly formatted missals.
It is interesting how much revenue he cranked (no pun intended) up from the late 80's to the late 90's, according to the Annual Earnings Chart. Also, note the following quote from the article:
quote:'Using this new method of selection we are actually picking those geographic areas that we know respond the best to our growth letters. The size of each special area is about two to four city blocks. And thank God there are 10's of thousands of them across the nation."
Which explains why some members on this board are targeted with this stuff.
Also, the bottom of the article runs through a lot of legal and tax issues Ewing and his organizations has face.
-------------------- "It won't mean a thing in a hundred years." - John Popper Posts: 695 | From: Southern Maryland | Registered: Mar 2005
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I've gotten these as well. Truly fascinating... on their website, they have a page about their literature, and the phrase mail fraud and mail scams is used many times, stating that they don't do that.
Related, has anyone seen the TV spot for the "Miracle Spring Water"? All the testimonials were, interestingly enough, about getting large sums of money. No healings, finding of lost dogs, or fresh air on a spring day, no....
ham "Tulsa OK is the pit of all unholy in christianity" bubba
ETA: just noticed they don't have an address on their website.
-------------------- Fundamentally Unfundie since 1975 Posts: 7942 | From: Louisiana | Registered: Jun 2000
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