posted
Ok, the wife and I are having our first child together (her third, my first) and I'm excited. I really am, but apparently not as excited as I should be. So, she frequently gives me things to read about having a baby. I'm all for it. I like having information so I'll have some idea of what to expect, but I also know from experience that no matter how much information you have up front, it's always different and you have to learn quite a bit from just doing it yourself.
So, she sends me this link the other day, "20 things that change when you have a baby." "Ok, this might be informative," I think. So I click on the link:
quote: What changes when you have a baby? A better question may be: What doesn't change? Read mom Rebecca Woolf's list of post-baby differences, and scroll down to the comments box at the bottom of this page to add your own.
1. You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.
2. You finally stop to smell the roses, because your baby is in your arms.
3. Where you once believed you were fearless, you now find yourself afraid.
4. You're less self-involved and more self-motivated.
5. The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices.
6. You respect your body ... finally. (Hooray for baby-making!)
7. You have stronger opinions and are stronger willed.
8. You respect your parents and love them in a new way. (Hooray for grandparents!)
9. You find that your baby's pain feels much worse than your own.
10. You believe once again in the things you believed in as a child. (Hooray for the tooth fairy!)
11. You lose touch with the people in your life that you should have banished years ago.
12. Your heart breaks much more easily.
13. You think of your baby 234,836,178,976 times a day. In fact, you're so busy with this that you forget everything else.
14. Every day is a surprise.
15. Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. (Hooray for poop!)
16. You think before you speak.
17. You become a morning person. (Hooray for watching the sun rise!)
18. If you have a son, you no longer curse men. (Hooray for all men!)
19. If you have a daughter, you hope she won't endure your same heartaches.
20. Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power.
Is it just me, or is this nothing more than glurge? Though this may be the experience many people have, there is nothing useful in it. Am I just synical(sp)? The fact that her other kids are half grown and I know what they grow-up to be like probably doesn't help me see this in the light presented, but I know all of these 20 things only last, if you're really lucky, the first year. Then reality sets in and you start to really see -yourself- coming out in your kids.
P.S. I resisted the urge to leave a comment on the site... so, I just posted here instead.
posted
Not actually a parent, but #15 is, no pun intended, crap. Loving a child does not mean getting pooped on is suddenly an experience to be cherished.
I once had a tiny girl whose diaper was suffering a catastrophic toxic waste leak thrust into my arms by her horrified mother, who then ran upstairs to change her clothes, leaving me to deal with the fallout. I followed, carrying the child at arms' length while poo dripped on the carpet.
I guarantee you I was not saying, "Hurray for poop!" while I cleaned that slimy little munchkin up. Or while I changed my clothes. Or while I tried to get the poo stains out of the carpet....
By the way, strained prunes should only be used by trained professionals.
Nonny
-------------------- When there isn't anything else worth analyzing, we examine our collective navel. I found thirty-six cents in change in mine the other day. Let no one say that there is no profit in philosophy. -- Silas Sparkhammer Posts: 10141 | From: Toronto, Ontario | Registered: Apr 2000
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posted
Glurge, glurge, glurge. Poop is poop. Changing diapers will (hopefully) increase your tolerance for dealing with it, but having a baby will not make you happy to see poop.
I have a problem with lists like this. I suffered from mild post-partum depression after DD was born. I can't tell you how bad it feels to read glurgy card after glurgy card telling you how happy you're supposed to be and how your life must be perfect now when you feel like crap.
And even if you don't feel like crap, having a baby is a big change in your life. There will be wonderful and terrible things about it. I hope you are excited, and I hope you and your DW are very happy with your new child. Smile and thank her when she sends you things like this, if they help her. Act more excited than you are, if that makes her feel good. Because you love her, right?
But you can be a very good parent without over-sentimentalizing the process. Especially the poop.
-------------------- How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black Posts: 8322 | From: Columbus, OH | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
I got that email too. Babycenter is usually a little more practical. I very nearly posted it but wasn't sure if it qualified as glurge.
Posts: 1168 | From: Missouri | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
It is glurge. Babies are, however, a lot of fun. If you are raising the other kids, then it will be just like the others, only different. Note, I've raised (raising) three and they are now almost all teens.
-------------------- And now for something completely different... Posts: 4164 | From: Alabama | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
That's mostly glurge. Now, for your entertainment and enlightmente, the real 10 things you'll learn when you have a baby.
1. What "exhausted" is. You think you already know this. You don't. "Exhausted" means sleeping about one hour a day, in 10 minutes increments (plus some minutes that you actually fall asleep while walking a baby that just won't burp).
2. The phone numbers for most take-out food services. You won't be seeing the inside of a restaurant for some time. Or, if you do, it will be quick and worried. (If you're a guy you may be fine, but you'll be with a worried woman anyway).
3. Reading lips. Or enjoying TV shows with close captions. You won't be upping the TV's volume for some time.
4. Poop is still gross. But you will learn to distingush hues and textures like a pro. You may not enjoy it, but you'll hear yourself saying things like "Yeah, this isn't greenish anymore, it's kinda ochre and a bit like putty... thank God".
5. Fear. When the baby just fell asleep and you hit something on your way out, causing a semi-loud noise, you'll feel the chill on your back while you wait to see if a wail is coming or not, just like a rabbit waiting to see if the wolf spotted it.
6. You'll love burps. After 40 minutes patting the back of a just-fed baby, when your arms hurt and you just want to go to bed, hearing that little burp is bliss. Concentrated bliss.
7. Diplomacy. There are tons of good advice, and tons of crap, and a lot of the latter will come from close sources (mostly, the baby's grandmas). So, you'll learn to say yes to everything, while discarding most advice internally.
8. Parks are full of dangerous objects. Swings, monkey bars, seesaws... you'll instinctively detect all the ways your kid could be killed or severly injured while playing on those. You'll feel the urge to forbid them to get close to them. And then, somehow, you'll remember how you got past them unscathed. So, you'll let them play, but will remain unsteady inside.
9. Toddlers hit themselves. A lot. And it's never all that bad.
10. Children's programs are actually kinda fun. Nickelodeon and Discovery Kids have some real good programs. Plus, once you change CSI for Backyardigans and Without a Trace for Jakers, you'll develop a more optimistic view on life. I'm not kidding.
All that aside, I love being a father and I love my kid (just turned 2 years old). Congratulations on the baby!
-------------------- "The system would also let you send your picture and contact details to a rough trade gay contact mailing list saying you like to be surprised with power tools in a non-consensual role play scenario – but that doesn’t mean you SHOULD do it.!" Posts: 298 | From: Monterrey, Mexico | Registered: May 2005
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4. You're less self-involved and more self-motivated.
"Let me tell you some more about what having a baby has meant to ME, how it has affected MY life and how it has made ME so selfless."
5. The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices.
They're investments in your future geriatric care.
6. You respect your body ... finally. (Hooray for baby-making!)
"I used to hate my uterus until I finally used it."
3. Where you once believed you were fearless, you now find yourself afraid.
7. You have stronger opinions and are stronger willed.
You are weakly empowered with a fierce timidness.
8. You respect your parents and love them in a new way. (Hooray for grandparents!)
Hooray for free babysitters!
10. You believe once again in the things you believed in as a child. (Hooray for the tooth fairy!)
Okay, you get in touch with your inner child, fine...but if you start believing once again, that's going to make two of you very disappointed in the tooth fairy next morning
11. You lose touch with the people in your life that you should have banished years ago.
Like those pathetic, selfish childless couples you used to be friends with.
14. Every day is a surprise.
cry eat poop cry eat poop cry eat poop
15. Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. (Hooray for poop!)
everyone else has had a run at this one.
18. If you have a son, you no longer curse men. (Hooray for all men!)
This one's just weird. Is the list supposed to be for women (you know how they're always cursing men when they aren't impregnating them)?
19. If you have a daughter, you hope she won't endure your same heartaches.
I guess if you have a son, you hope he learns to suck up those heartaches and not act like a such a pansy.
Posts: 307 | From: California | Registered: Jan 2004
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quote: You think of your baby 234,836,178,976 times a day. In fact, you're so busy with this that you forget everything else.
Let's say that you're awake for 23.48 out of 24 hours. From the above statistic, you can calculate that you'll then think about your baby 2,778,206 times per second. That's a lot of thinking!
Posts: 144 | From: Sweden | Registered: Sep 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Mr. Baggins: That's mostly glurge. Now, for your entertainment and enlightmente, the real 10 things you'll learn when you have a baby...All that aside, I love being a father and I love my kid (just turned 2 years old). Congratulations on the baby!
Very true!
-------------------- And now for something completely different... Posts: 4164 | From: Alabama | Registered: Oct 2005
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quote:Originally posted by pinqy: [QB]But not all surprises are good. My sister left the desitin unattended near her daughter and got a big ol' surprise. Makes the hair nice and shiny.
Picture, if you will, two three-year-olds left alone in a bedroom with a tin of zinc cream.
Nonny
-------------------- When there isn't anything else worth analyzing, we examine our collective navel. I found thirty-six cents in change in mine the other day. Let no one say that there is no profit in philosophy. -- Silas Sparkhammer Posts: 10141 | From: Toronto, Ontario | Registered: Apr 2000
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posted
1. You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.
Because you look like walking death from lack of sleep.
2. You finally stop to smell the roses, because your baby is in your arms.
And then your baby a) grabs the rose stem and shrieks when it gets pricked by a thorn or b) eats the bug that was resting on the rose.
-------------------- IIRC, it wasn't the shoe bomber's loud prayers that sparked the takedown by the other passengers; it was that he was trying to light his shoe on fire. Very, very different. Canuckistan Posts: 3694 | From: Arizona | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
The subject header remined me of another glurge where a guy makes a girl think she doesn't love him by answering "no" to her questions, then just as she's about to leave in tear, he tops her and goes into a spiel saying things like, "I don't love you, I adore you!" or something like that.
-------------------- I like to go down to the playground and watch the kids run and jump and scream, because they don't know I'm only using blanks. Posts: 942 | From: Illinois | Registered: Jan 2004
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quote:Originally posted by GenYus: ...eats the bug that was resting on the rose.
Okay, this is a bit OT, but this is a question to those of you with kids: When mine first learned about "finger food" (like cheerios), they would first slap the food before they picked it up and ate it. Have they been eating some other "finger food" that needed to be "stunned" before picking up?
-------------------- And now for something completely different... Posts: 4164 | From: Alabama | Registered: Oct 2005
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I also agree that "Yay for poop!" DEFINATELY counts for when the little one uses the potty. We're still having a bit of trouble with that one. For some reason, she HATES the idea of pooping on the potty. She ends up pooping in her sleep, she holds it for so long.
I also also agree about the watching cartoons thing. I feel like a little kid again, sometimes, lol. Spongebob Squarepants and Fairly Odd Parents are everyone's favorites right now, although Oobie takes precedent in the afternoon.
Daddy has also amassed a small collection of Spongebob memorabilia . . . for the tot to enjoy, of course!
Relic "My inner child is an outer child" Man
-------------------- It can't rain all the time. Posts: 1102 | From: Iowa | Registered: Oct 2004
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quote: 7. You have stronger opinions and are stronger willed.
Total opposite for me. I'm too busy now to be as pigheaded as before I had kids. I used to be a political junkie, now it's like "President who? Huh? I thought he was governor of something! Who cares. Where's the Lysol?"
This made me think of something I saw in someone else's sig line a minute ago:
In America, you change baby. In Soviet Russia, baby changes you.
-------------------- Your ultimate source of superfluous flummery. Posts: 595 | From: South Carolina | Registered: Jun 2005
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quote: You think of your baby 234,836,178,976 times a day. In fact, you're so busy with this that you forget everything else.
Let's say that you're awake for 23.48 out of 24 hours. From the above statistic, you can calculate that you'll then think about your baby 2,778,206 times per second. That's a lot of thinking!
That's a 2.7 GigaHertz processor. Comparable to most processors out today. Wonder how much RAM we're talkin'?
quote: You think of your baby 234,836,178,976 times a day. In fact, you're so busy with this that you forget everything else.
Let's say that you're awake for 23.48 out of 24 hours. From the above statistic, you can calculate that you'll then think about your baby 2,778,206 times per second. That's a lot of thinking!
That's a 2.7 GigaHertz processor. Comparable to most processors out today. Wonder how much RAM we're talkin'?
Nitpick time. When they rate a processor as 2.7 GHz, that's it's clock speed, not its operations capacity. That is measured in MIPS (Millions of Instructions Per Second, altough it's also been defined as Meaningless Indicator of Performance).
A Pentium 4 rated 3.6 GHz, will run a measly 7,000 operations per second ( Reference ).
So, that would actually be a mean feat. On the other hand, if all you are gonna do is run an endless loop of "10 retrieve baby data, 20 goto 10", one wonders what is the need to do it so rapidly.
-------------------- "The system would also let you send your picture and contact details to a rough trade gay contact mailing list saying you like to be surprised with power tools in a non-consensual role play scenario – but that doesn’t mean you SHOULD do it.!" Posts: 298 | From: Monterrey, Mexico | Registered: May 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Mr. Troodon: I think 2.7 ghz would be 2,700,000,000. 2,700,000 is merely 2.7 megahertz.
quote:Originally posted by Mr. Baggins:
quote:Originally posted by Unknown Soldier:
quote:Originally posted by Wish You Were Her:
quote: You think of your baby 234,836,178,976 times a day. In fact, you're so busy with this that you forget everything else.
Let's say that you're awake for 23.48 out of 24 hours. From the above statistic, you can calculate that you'll then think about your baby 2,778,206 times per second. That's a lot of thinking!
That's a 2.7 GigaHertz processor. Comparable to most processors out today. Wonder how much RAM we're talkin'?
Nitpick time. When they rate a processor as 2.7 GHz, that's it's clock speed, not its operations capacity. That is measured in MIPS (Millions of Instructions Per Second, altough it's also been defined as Meaningless Indicator of Performance).
A Pentium 4 rated 3.6 GHz, will run a measly 7,000 operations per second ( Reference ).
So, that would actually be a mean feat. On the other hand, if all you are gonna do is run an endless loop of "10 retrieve baby data, 20 goto 10", one wonders what is the need to do it so rapidly.
--NOTE TO SELF-- Never make a joke on a subject you know little or nothing about.
posted
1) You no longer put poop in the so gross I won't touch it category. You treat it like any other dirt.
2) You're amazed at how many things you learn to do with one hand, because the child is in your other arm.
3) You thank god and government for handicapped access, because getting that stroller up curbs and stairs is a pain in the ass.
4) You quickly learn to ignore the routine cries and distinguish them from the cries of anguise.
5) You are happy for swings and bouncy chairs.
Pogue
-------------------- Let's drink to the causes in your life: Your family, your friends, the union, your wife. Posts: 11325 | From: Kentucky | Registered: Nov 2000
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posted
My take on this: GLURGE!!! A few reasons why:
2. You finally stop to smell the roses, because your baby is in your arms.
The closest I get to smelling roses is when my 2yo insists on walking instead of riding in the shopping cart and her agonizingly small steps go past the florist case.
4. You're less self-involved and more self-motivated.
Motivated to do what? I don't have the energy to be motivated.
5. The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices.
What a load of bull. They're still sacrifices. They may not bother you as much, but any parent who says they don't sometimes have days where they question what they gave up is lying. It won't be an every day thing, but there are days where you'll realize you gave up really, really nice furniture, clean carpets, not having spit-up stains on your favorite shirt, and breakables on display for the red screaming thing in your arms and three consecutive weeks where the only way you can say you got eight hours of sleep is if you're allowed to add the hours over a period of several days.
6. You respect your body ... finally. (Hooray for baby-making!)
You may feel awed that your body made another living thing, but respect? I don't get that one.
7. You have stronger opinions and are stronger willed.
Until your child approaches two. Then you're just trying to make it look that way.
13. You think of your baby 234,836,178,976 times a day. In fact, you're so busy with this that you forget everything else.
If this were true, nobody would ever be allowed to return from maternity/paternity leave.
14. Every day is a surprise.
This is probably the only thing on here I 100% agree with.
15. Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. (Hooray for poop!)
Only when you're potty training. It's always repulsive, but do you ever cheer when it lands in the toilet instead of in a diaper.
16. You think before you speak.
The people I've encountered who do not have this ability don't get it magically granted to them upon becoming parents. YMMV.
17. You become a morning person. (Hooray for watching the sun rise!)
Being up at 5 each morning does not mean you're a morning person. It simply means you're up at 5 in the morning.
20. Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power.
I'd like to think it was before I became a parent. That love is what made me a parent in the first place. Superhuman is a bit excessive, though.
posted
Slightly OT rant: Why does all glurge related to parenting say "When you have a baby"? That's not the only way some people become parents. Nor does every parent start out with an infant. Assuming the reader is a female is another issue I have. Men are parents, too!
posted
Getting in on this a bit late. But the fact is, every baby is different.
Ours is 14 months old now. Everybody told me how horribly exhausted we'd be, how the baby would scream at the slightest noise, etc. etc.
It didn't happen.
Sure we were tired at first, but first of all, we were ready for it. I took 2 weeks off of work, then worked half-time for another month, so I could help out (and sleep). Wife took 2 months off, then when son was 6 months old, decided to stay home full time. Also, son slept through the night regularly at about 8 weeks. Before that, it was just one little feeding at 2am which we got pretty used to. After that, only very, very rarely has he woken up in the middle of the night.
As for the "bumping something and hearing a wail" that's because most people do it wrong. Rocking your baby to sleep, then setting them in the bed and tiptoeing out does not teach your kid how to go to sleep. We would rock him to get him sleepy, then set him in bed, still awake. He normally took the hint. There was a time where he realized that we were still up after him (around 11 months) and we had a challenging week. But we'd go in, calm him down, set him back in bed, and again eventually he took the hint.
Now we may have an easy kid. Guess I won't know until we have another who's not so easy... Until then, I'll just pretend we're perfect parents
What I will say is things like pee and poop, whilie not enjoyable, do become much more on your mind than a childless person might realize. If son doesn't poop for a day, I know that something's up and he's gonna be cranky until we do something about it.
I have never been a baby person. All the cute baby commercials, minivan ads, etc. used to really turn me off. Now that I have one, they don't seem so bad anymore...
posted
About being a baby person: I think the cuteness of babies is inversely proportional to the square of family steps he/she is away from you. I never thought of babies as especially cute, some pics of newborns I got were even, well, "ugly" is not the right word, let's say they made it hard to say anything special and nice to the parents for me. Now my nieces, well, they're different, very different of course. Very beautiful, the nicest human beings on earth. just plain adorable. (Still I'm happy when I can "hand them back" at night - those days will change too )
Ulko "8 hours of sleep" maalainen
-------------------- Movie characters never make typing mistakes. Posts: 586 | From: Hamburg, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
I'll second rehcsif's "every child is different". My older brother was put in a rocking cradle and eventually fell sleep. Ma tells me I screamed bloody murder when she rocked me in the same cradle to sleep. I hated that rocking cradle! I think they must've just held me til I conked out and then put me in it.
-------------------- I would prefer not to. My blog Posts: 4789 | From: Rhode Island | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Rehcsif: Getting in on this a bit late. But the fact is, every baby is different.
[snip]
As for the "bumping something and hearing a wail" that's because most people do it wrong. Rocking your baby to sleep, then setting them in the bed and tiptoeing out does not teach your kid how to go to sleep. We would rock him to get him sleepy, then set him in bed, still awake. He normally took the hint. There was a time where he realized that we were still up after him (around 11 months) and we had a challenging week. But we'd go in, calm him down, set him back in bed, and again eventually he took the hint.
Now we may have an easy kid. Guess I won't know until we have another who's not so easy... Until then, I'll just pretend we're perfect parents
-Tim
You have an easy baby. My first was like that too, and I remember thinking to myself, "they are just doing it wrong." Then my second little girl was born. I did the sleepy-time thing exactly the same and, at 11 months old, she has not slept through the night yet. She falls asleep on her own, but she's still up 3 or more times a night. As a result I am bone-crushingly exhausted. For a long time I blamed myself, just as I blamed the other parents before.
But the truth is, every child really is different, no technique works on all children, and having one child does not a baby expert make.
I have to second the one who said that glurge like the OP makes them feel bad. I also had/have mild PPD and sometimes stuff like this feels like condemnation. I wish people would stop pumping out crap like this and be more honest about the hard parts. Not in a "raising kids sucks" kind of way, but more of a "this is a really tough job and it's okay not to feel blissed out over baby poop and 5 am wake up calls."
-------------------- This used to be the life, but I don't need another one. MyBandwagon Posts: 3254 | From: small town Texas | Registered: Jan 2004
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quote:Originally posted by GenYus: ...eats the bug that was resting on the rose.
Okay, this is a bit OT, but this is a question to those of you with kids: When mine first learned about "finger food" (like cheerios), they would first slap the food before they picked it up and ate it. Have they been eating some other "finger food" that needed to be "stunned" before picking up?
If you can, get a copy of "What Dr Spock didn't tell us" .
One behavior mentioned is called "Tarzen's Glut", where the child has to kill all its food before eating.
-------------------- "No matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the computer will say, 'Specify type of goat.'" Posts: 1112 | From: Ohio | Registered: Jul 2000
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posted
One of my friends just sent me this crap last week. (Sort of a "Yay! You're pregbabt! See what wonderful things you have to look forward to!", I guess.) Even though I am well out of the first trimester, I found it difficult not to vomit while reading it.
-------------------- "Seize the day! Make your lives extraordinary!" -John Keating, "Dead Poets Society" Posts: 2861 | From: New Jersey | Registered: May 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Brian O'blivion: 19. If you have a daughter, you hope she won't endure your same heartaches.
I guess if you have a son, you hope he learns to suck up those heartaches and not act like a such a pansy.
What that one reminded me of was my mother's advice to me about asking girls out ("after all, honey, I was one once!") She said I should just go ahead and do it and the worst she could do was say no, and no one else would need to know. I knew Mom meant well, but I also knew that the truth was it'd be all over the school in a matter of days. Unfortunately, I was right.
quote:From Auntie Witch: The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices. What a load of bull. They're still sacrifices. They may not bother you as much, but any parent who says they don't sometimes have days where they question what they gave up is lying.
Agreed. But speaking as someone who grew up with my mother frequently telling me to my face that she wished she'd never had kids, I have to say honesty isn't quite always the best policy.
-------------------- Another lifetime I'd have fallen in love with you Swept away by my feelings, ashamed and confused But just now it's enough to be walking with you Let the mystery play as it will! -Lui Collins Posts: 2669 | From: Jouy en Josas, France | Registered: May 2005
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Now we may have an easy kid. Guess I won't know until we have another who's not so easy... Until then, I'll just pretend we're perfect parents
We had twin girls . . . that were colicky! And they're still not "easy kids" even 11 years later.
Fortunately our third baby was pretty easy.
Getting back to the glurge: I agree that you get tolerant of cleaning up messy diapers, but that's a far cry from saying "hooray." OTOH, I never got used to cleaning up kid barf.
Nick
-------------------- Don't forget to register for the New ULMB.
posted
One thing you get used to after they hatch is regurgitating the contents of your stomach to feed them. (Hooray for regurgitation!)
Posts: 4922 | From: Kyoto, Japan | Registered: Sep 2005
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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
posted
I do that anyway, Ganz. No need to wait for the newborns to hatch.
What are you all looking at?
-------------------- People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril) Posts: 8429 | From: New York run by the Swiss (Toronto) | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
For a very short while I was saying "Hooray for poop!" because my daughter was born with an immature spinchter muscle and often did not poop without a suppository. She got over that, and now its more like, poop, yay.
-------------------- Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari? I'm an Avon Rep! Email me for information on ordering. Posts: 30 | From: Alabama | Registered: Feb 2006
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