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Author Topic: Best of 'We've Got Mail'
Shurimon
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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From the "Does Daddy know you're using his computer?" topic:

quote:
I was surfing your site and typed in bell canada and you through up an
alert screen that the error should be reported to Micro soft then froze my
screen and I had to shut down cold and restart as the computer became
unstable so whats going on please!

PS Is my computer bugged!!!

Snopes: Crasher of computers everywhere.

--------------------
"Oh, coulda-shoulda-Prada, honey!" ~Karen, "Will & Grace"
Head of Hufflepuff at Platform 9 3/4. PNTQ- The One For You!

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Fuchsia
Xboxing Day


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I remember one post in "Incomprehensible Message of the Day?" a few years ago that used the word "glycopepse" (sic). I laughed about that one for about 10 minutes.

Any of the threads where some guy claimed to be involved with the Kennedy assassination were fun reads.

ETA: Spanked on page 2 by the Wizard of Yendor!

--------------------
Nothing makes sense, so let's have no more nothing and stop making sense.

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Elizabeth Lemons
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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The one that said something about an ALMOST surefire way to prevent rape was to have the woman defecate. I love that they added the ALMOST.

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"El corazón del hombre es como el horizonte, una parte del cielo; pero como el horizonte, cambia noche y dia."

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Izzy Quigley
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
Comment: Hi! We're Mr. Chassa ( CHAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! )
and Mr. Argentina.
You're going to recieve a virus. Not, it's a joke.
We think you're feeling randy seeing Beatriz.
Please, don't watch any dirty web.
Don't waste your time.
Answer our message.

I like the creepy stalker-like tone and overall strangeness of this one. For some reason, "CHAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!" reminds me of a pirate with post-nasal drip.

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A Viennese fellow is walking along the Karntner Strasse and notices a banana peel lying in his path. "Alas," he sighs, "now I must slip and fall down!"

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Repairman Jack
I Saw Three Shipments


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I'm guessing ...."live in kansas "...i.e. Ks.

and every one knows you need a proxy number to view snopes in kansas as it is a felony due to the liberal bias on this site....

RJ

ok ok Kingdom of Saudi Arabia...but I know ppl in Kansas who WOULD prefer that we had the Saudi's laws...

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UrbanReindeer
Deck the Malls


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I just read that entire Mario thread and all I could think was ... this guy's CHILDHOOD friend had an enormous bushy mustache? [Eek!]

Urban "goomba" Renewal

--------------------
"He feeds the sparrows of the field, but He doesn't sit there and cram worms into their mouths." -- Mouse

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Squoval
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by Izzy Quigley:
quote:
Comment: Hi! We're Mr. Chassa ( CHAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! )
and Mr. Argentina.
You're going to recieve a virus. Not, it's a joke.
We think you're feeling randy seeing Beatriz.
Please, don't watch any dirty web.
Don't waste your time.
Answer our message.

I like the creepy stalker-like tone and overall strangeness of this one. For some reason, "CHAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!" reminds me of a pirate with post-nasal drip.
Link to the thread.

--------------------
I can't believe it's not Square!

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Dr. Winston O'Boogie
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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For some reason, this one just tickles my funny bone:
quote:
Comment: your sight is pointless and lanme


--------------------
"The large print givith, and the small print taketh away" -- Tom Waits, Step Right Up

"The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad." -- Salvador Dali

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Squoval
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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I've got three new favorites, beginning here.
Although, that thread, in all, is hilarious.

--------------------
I can't believe it's not Square!

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Squoval
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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This is also funny.

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I can't believe it's not Square!

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Squoval
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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Delete Me!

--------------------
I can't believe it's not Square!

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ChildofMusic
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by noreen:
quote:
Originally posted by Eve MG:
My favorite, maybe because I feel sorry for the woman for being so pretentious, and yet so wrong:
quote:
Comment: On the page. . .

http://www.snopes.com/college/horrors/horrors.htm

The Urban Legend. . .

University of Texas student loses both kidneys to organ thieves.*

Should read. . .

University of Texas student looses both kidneys to organ thieves.*

(looses in lieu of loses)

The site has a very organized feel, I like it.

Eve "What happens when you loose your kidneys?" MG
You wet your pants?
I'm sitting in my college cafe, drinking a peach smoothie, and this made me snort so loud and hard that I nearly drowned and several people looked up from their work.

Thank you.

Edited because "lous" is not a word.

--------------------
- ChildofMusic

"Music is one of the fairest and most glorious gifts of God." -Martin Luther

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Neffti Noel
We Three Blings


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quote:
Originally posted by Izzy Quigley:
quote:
Comment: Hi! We're Mr. Chassa ( CHAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! )
and Mr. Argentina.
You're going to recieve a virus. Not, it's a joke.
We think you're feeling randy seeing Beatriz.
Please, don't watch any dirty web.
Don't waste your time.
Answer our message.

I like the creepy stalker-like tone and overall strangeness of this one. For some reason, "CHAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!" reminds me of a pirate with post-nasal drip.
"CHAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!" Isn't that the sound weapon Paul Atreides used to blow people up in David Lynch's film version of "Dune?" [lol]

*checks back garden for worm-sign*

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Turban Man
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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Comment: I watched a porno flick with my sister, grandma,mom,and my dad.after
about twenty minutes my dad told me my sister and grandma we had to find
somewhere to go so he could be alone with mom.

I nearly pissed myself looking at this one.

--------------------
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T,

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TB Tabby
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Turban Man:
Comment: I watched a porno flick with my sister, grandma,mom,and my dad.

The family that plays together....

--------------------
I like to go down to the playground and watch the kids run and jump and scream, because they don't know I'm only using blanks.

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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by TB Tabby:
quote:
Originally posted by Turban Man:
Comment: I watched a porno flick with my sister, grandma,mom,and my dad.

The family that plays together....
...grows together. [Eek!]

--------------------
People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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Collegiate Thespian
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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quote:
Originally posted by Izzy Quigley:
For some reason, "CHAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!" reminds me of a pirate with post-nasal drip.

YOMANK!!! [lol]

--------------------
Damn the tinfoil hat wearers, full speed ahead!

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Gale
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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The whole He's BAAAAAAAaaaaaack with Mario Man was incredible. I have to like this one from March 18, 2005.

Comment: I've heard this rumor from many people and I'm very curious to
know if it's true.

They say that if a person has a pet cat and dies, if the person's body is
not found fairly soon after death, the cat, having not been fed, will
become ravenously hungry and eat the dead person's face off--JUST the
face!

Is this true? My cat often looks me in the face. I used to think he was
just being friendly. Now I know he's just sizing me up, like a chef at a
butcher shop, waiting for "the big day". Since hearing this rumor, every
time my cat licks his chops it gives me the willies!

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Aptenodytes_Forsteriis
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Gayle:
The whole He's BAAAAAAAaaaaaack with Mario Man was incredible. I have to like this one from March 18, 2005.

Comment: I've heard this rumor from many people and I'm very curious to
know if it's true.

They say that if a person has a pet cat and dies, if the person's body is
not found fairly soon after death, the cat, having not been fed, will
become ravenously hungry and eat the dead person's face off--JUST the
face!

Is this true? My cat often looks me in the face. I used to think he was
just being friendly. Now I know he's just sizing me up, like a chef at a
butcher shop, waiting for "the big day". Since hearing this rumor, every
time my cat licks his chops it gives me the willies!

I had a cat that might not have waited for me to die! Cat Rule 7. Pet Human who does not provide food willingly may be forced to do so in other ways.

--------------------
'Hello, assorted humanoid strangers. You are standing casually in our forest. This bewilders us.' Blatherskite

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Izzy Quigley
Jingle Bell Hock


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Could it be?

My first YOMANK! *does fierce keyboard-slaughtering dance*

Ahem. Carry on.

--------------------
A Viennese fellow is walking along the Karntner Strasse and notices a banana peel lying in his path. "Alas," he sighs, "now I must slip and fall down!"

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Turban Man
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales


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Comment: There have been reports of a website that apearently buys old
apple computers for 3/4 what they are worth. I sold my apple iBook G3 to
them for $700 Last week i sent a reply asking for my money here was there
reply
"we are sorry that you cant take the time to take your face out of your
ass to see that you have been scammed have a nice day!"
i have gotten scammed and I dont
want your viewers to fall victom to this prick and wantt everyone to be
safe on the internet
thank you!

--------------------
I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T,

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Aquadude
I Saw Three Shipments


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I find it funny that they blame Snopes for this.

--------------------
ˇEl Toro Loco!

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paisley claus
We Three Blings


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quote:
Originally posted by Collegiate Thespian:
quote:
Originally posted by Izzy Quigley:
For some reason, "CHAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!" reminds me of a pirate with post-nasal drip.

YOMANK!!! [lol]
Wow, I'm just browsing around, and here I find people on a thread yelling my name!! [Smile]

"Yes, I hear you, what do you want???"
[Big Grin]

--------------------
"Oh, now we're going to start judging each other on things we've done?? Real fair!"

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Izzy Quigley
Jingle Bell Hock


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Can I have a drink of water?

--------------------
A Viennese fellow is walking along the Karntner Strasse and notices a banana peel lying in his path. "Alas," he sighs, "now I must slip and fall down!"

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Bassist
Chess Nuts Boasting 'Round an Open Fire


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It won't help much with the post-nasal drip ... [Wink]

--------------------
"I'm singing and deranged!"

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Izzy Quigley
Jingle Bell Hock


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No, it's the pirate that has the post-nasal drip. He can darn well get his own water.

--------------------
A Viennese fellow is walking along the Karntner Strasse and notices a banana peel lying in his path. "Alas," he sighs, "now I must slip and fall down!"

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Sara
I Saw Three Shipments


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I'm still trying to figure out Q....E....D

--------------------
"If you don't have anything nice to say...sit next to me"

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Clarity
Toys to the World


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quote:
Originally posted by Turban Man:
Comment: There have been reports of a website that apearently buys old
apple computers for 3/4 what they are worth. I sold my apple iBook G3 to
them for $700 Last week i sent a reply asking for my money here was there
reply
"we are sorry that you cant take the time to take your face out of your
ass to see that you have been scammed have a nice day!"
i have gotten scammed and I dont
want your viewers to fall victom to this prick and wantt everyone to be
safe on the internet
thank you!

I think what the guy meant was that he mixed up the concepts of "internet scam" and "urban legend"- so he thought he was contributing to the site, not blaming it. Still made me laugh, though.
-"can't take the time to take your face out of your ass" -

--------------------
Kevin: Pink Bunkadoo?
Randall: Yeah. Beautiful tree that was. Og designed it. 600 feet high, bright red, and smelled terrible.

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callee
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by Sara:
I'm still trying to figure out Q....E....D

It's an old latin way of saying "so there! Sucker!!! I GOT YOU!!! I WIN! I WIN!!!"

literally, it means "it is proven" or "demonstrated."

You might read it as "I rest my case."

--------------------
a moment for old friends now estranged, victims of the flux of alliances and changing perceptions. There was something there once, and that something is worth honoring as well. - John Carroll

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