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Author Topic: Why 5-year-olds shouldn't be on the Internet
IndieQueen2
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by snarkbait:
Hey,
I am young and suffer from a poor public educational system. Unfortunately, my parents decided to let me have a computer and an internet connection, so I can pester THE WHOLE WORLD with my meaningless ramblings, and poor spelling. Don't mind me as I ask the stupidest questions ever, and I may just not even try to make sense at all. Hey, what's this website, Snopes... what does that mean.... I think I will ask them. I heard that Tom Cruise is gay, maybe they know. Didn't Mikey from the Life cereal commercials die from eating pop rocks? And didn't Rod Stewart have to get his stomach pumped... nevermind.

Sincerely,
Courtney

Sounds a whole lot like Gavin for The Kids in the Hall. Why do I picture Bruce doing that bit every damn time I read this thread?
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snopes
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Comment: i think they should biuld the towers back because if they dont
then the talobans will think they won!

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Isaac
Happy Holly Days


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There are so many things wrong with that I don't even know where to start.

--------------------
All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo.

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Isaac
Happy Holly Days


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quote:
Originally posted by teeeee tiny:
And of course, Shrek. "Hmmmmm. Do you think he's overcompensating for something?"

Yeah, but Shrek was produced by Dreamworks, and since they're a new company, you don't really have the expectation of wholesomeness, or whatever.

On the other hand, in Disney's second feature, Pinocchio, the protaganist can be seen quite clearly smoking cigars and drinking beer and even becoming intoxicated. Is that any worse than spelling "sex" in the clouds?

Isaac "and the donkey scene was just plain disturbing" 3159

--------------------
All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo.

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Jay, Vampire by Night
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
Comment: i think they should biuld the towers back because if they dont
then the talobans will think they won!

Yeah, those TalouhhhhhhhhTaliban sure won, all right. Yeap. They showed us.

J "Now about that Bin Laden guy..." ay

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quote:
On the other hand, in Disney's second feature, Pinocchio, the protaganist can be seen quite clearly smoking cigars and drinking beer and even becoming intoxicated. Is that any worse than spelling "sex" in the clouds?
No, because it's made quite clear in the context of the film that it's bad for kids to be doing those things, and they end up suffering a horrible punishment (i.e., being turned in donkeys) as a result.

- snopes

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Comment: Hi I am here to ask you something about the Titanic.Are there any
more survivors still alive?Did you every see a person dead abord the
Titanic?Is the CArpatia still in good condition?I am studying Titanic in
my class I think it is very interesting.Where there any 3rd class people
on the CArpathya?I hoep there was.Do you? Did you find Polar he bear with
his master the little besr white roal?Did you ever met a person on the
Titanic mabey you did I knoe I din't because I am only nine.If you every
get some of my information questions and have the time to send back to me
I hope you do so.Are you the guy that invented the cool sumarine the has
an elitric hand.Whell I hope to here frome you soon Bye.Thanks alot if you
do or don't answer.

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Bad Ronald
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
...Thanks alot if you
do or don't answer.

Say what you will, but I like this kid.

--------------------
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
Winston Churchill

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snopes
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Comment: Dear Snopes,
My history teacher's name is Ms.Swope. She is the only teacher whose name
I can remember because it rhymes with Snopes. Sort of. Thankyou.

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DarkDan
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
Comment: Dear Snopes,
My history teacher's name is Ms.Swope. She is the only teacher whose name
I can remember because it rhymes with Snopes. Sort of. Thankyou.

At least s/he is not calling snopes "snoopes"! Or is s/he?

Prae

--------------------
Missing snopesters | snopesters Facebook group | SLC Birthdays | What does "Bookachow", "YOMANK!" and other lingo mean?
"Gonna free fall out into nothing, gonna leave this world for a while" --Tom Petty

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BlueJeans
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Do the kids write like this for their school papers? Back in my day (depending on the class...) we could get points taken off for every word that was misspelled. These kids would flunk before content was even reviewed! *shudder*
My Language Arts teacher read a few sentances from the "normal" 8th grade classes to the enriched one. The grammar read a bit like Snopes's fanmail, but I imagine the spelling is better.
"I think looping is a bad idea because some kids don't like looping and some teachers are bad and if they were looping it would be bad because the teachers are bad for the students, but the students see them more and..."

I can't remember exactly, but it was a very long, very odd run-on sentance. Anyway, most of us forgave him for grading our papers so harshly.

I have problems grading other people's papers in class. The answers, well, make me nervous. According to Heather's worksheet, Columbus's three ships were the Nanita, the Pinto, and the Santa Maria. After arguing with Queen Isabella and King Ferdinand for one month, the pilgrims set sail across the Atlantic. The word "example" is actually "eample" and the amount of space you take up is less on the moon.

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Comment: Your site, to be frank sucks my boyfriends cock harder than I do. The
stories posted on your site bite my ass. Me and my fuck ass friends were
looking for a scare and so we came across this weak ass shit. We just watched a
disgusting movie about rats, thats how deperate your site made us. I hope
you're happy for ruining my entire night. I'm going to fuck my boyfriend in
front of my neighbours now, maybe that will give THEM a scare. My fucken ass is
out!
Sincerly,
FUCK YOU!
*****Buttfuckers!

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DarkDan
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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^ Is he giving the middle finger?? If he is, that's me giving it to this guy.

quote:
Your site, to be frank sucks my boyfriends cock harder than I do.
Hiya Frank! How can a website suck your boyfriends cock? Or maybe you mistaken the website for David's ULMB screen name? snopes, is there something that you didn't tell us??

quote:
*****Buttfuckers!
Should I ask what the masked five letter word is? And unless snoped censored it, why censor the second-to-last curse word when you already said eight already?

quote:
I'm going to fuck my boyfriend in
front of my neighbours now, maybe that will give THEM a scare.

Thank gawd I don't live in that neighborhood!

Prae

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Missing snopesters | snopesters Facebook group | SLC Birthdays | What does "Bookachow", "YOMANK!" and other lingo mean?
"Gonna free fall out into nothing, gonna leave this world for a while" --Tom Petty

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The Batwinged Sparverius
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
We just watched a
disgusting movie about rats, thats how deperate your site made us.

Why would reading snopes drive you and your friends to watch Willard?
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Dr. Winston O'Boogie
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by The Batwinged Sparverius:
quote:
We just watched a
disgusting movie about rats, thats how deperate your site made us.

Why would reading snopes drive you and your friends to watch Willard?
No, not Willard, they were forced to watch the sequal, Ben. Hearing Michael Jackson singing the theme song has so obviously disturbed this individual that they became Frank, and want to nfbsk their boyfriend. I hope the boyfriend doesn't mind the sex change.

PT "AAARRRGGGHHHH! Now I have that song running through my head!" Vroman

--------------------
"The large print givith, and the small print taketh away" -- Tom Waits, Step Right Up

"The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad." -- Salvador Dali

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snopes
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Comment: i think it is a very inapropriate site! ive never seen anything
so brutal! i hate this sight! you need to put things on here for chidren!
im going to sue for you let little children in this site!
love bre~ann

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Jay, Vampire by Night
The Red and the Green Stamps


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Man, I know idiots like this. Like it's Snopes' responsibility to babysit your kids.
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Were-Apteryx
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by Jay, Vampire by Night:
Man, I know idiots like this. Like it's Snopes' responsibility to babysit your kids.

I think the combination of a request for things for "chidren", the threat of a lawsuit, and the "love, bre~ann" (how do you pronounce that tilde, anyway?) is a dead giveaway that this is from a kiddo, not a parent, not even a childish one. "Babysit" is a good word, considering that so many kids think that snopes should exist only for their entertainment.
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Agent Fox BIGHUSKER
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
Me and my fuck ass friends

[Laughing out loud]
I don't know why, but "fuck ass friends" is the funniest phrase I have heard in quite some time.

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PinkMartini, shaken and stirred
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
Comment: Are there any
more survivors still alive?Did you every see a person dead abord the Titanic?Is the CArpatia still in good condition?Where there any 3rd class people on the CArpathya?Did you find Polar he bear with his master the little besr white roal?Did you ever met a person on the Titanic mabey you did I knoe I din't because I am only nine.

Let's see...

Yes.

Yes (there were some pictures taken of the bodies recovered for identification purposes).

The Carpathia was torpedoed and sunk in WWI...the wreck was found not too long ago, and it's in decent shape.

There were 3rd class people on most liners of the time.

Polar the Bear was a Steiff bear that belonged to Douglas Spedden...so yes, the bear was real. And they both made it off the ship. But neither Snopes or Barbara were responsible for finding them.

Nope, never met a survivor...and meeting someone on the Titanic would require time-travel. And this kid should be able to write better than this...

Pink "I answered these just to show off [Big Grin] " Martini

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Comment: are all your urban legends are real. I have some of them about my
hometown and we can not find a girl and soe we can't find thm or they are
hiding. Do you belive in urban legends I wan't you to write back what you
think about the things That I said
Good -bye

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moonlight
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
are all your urban legends are real. Do you belive in urban legends

Hmmm, snopes, I don't think you make it clear enough in the reference pages.
quote:
I wan't you to write back what you
think about the things That I said
Good -bye

You said something?

moon "seriously, did one of you guys send this to snopes? Beacuse if not, the world is in serious trouble" light

--------------------
I'm back to lurking.

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moonlight
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
...love ur biggest fan~
courtney!

quote:
Ok ok it's not really hers... but it's some 12 year old's page ... and she's named Cortney
quote:
Sincerely,
Courtney

hmmm...

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snopes
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Comment: I heard a story about a girl named ashley. Ashley had a
boyfriend ,John, they had been together for one month! They were both very
popular. But there was another popular girl named Courtney and she liked John,
Ashley's boyfriend! Ashley and Courtney didnt really like each other. John
liked Ashley alot but he liked Courtney more. So one Friday John asked
Courtney to the movies. But Ashley heard the whole thing! So that night she
went to the movies also! She found them making out! So Courtney and John went
to John's house that night and well whatever u lil sick people are thinking
then thats what they did. So Ashley followed them. Once she saw she ran off
crying! A couple days later she never showed up! About a week later her parents
looked in the closet and found that she had hung herself! There was a note to
John!
Dear John,
I loved you soo much but i saw you with Courtney. I couldnt take it but its
too late now! IM DEAD!
Love,
-Ashley
Now its said that she haunts the dreams of any girl who steals a guy named john
from a girl whos going out with or in love with him!

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DarkDan
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
But there was another popular girl named Courtney and she liked John,
Ashley's boyfriend!

Uhhhhhhhhhhh........Courtney? This must be a work of a troll!

DarkDan

--------------------
Missing snopesters | snopesters Facebook group | SLC Birthdays | What does "Bookachow", "YOMANK!" and other lingo mean?
"Gonna free fall out into nothing, gonna leave this world for a while" --Tom Petty

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Pseudo_Croat
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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quote:
Originally posted by DarkDuck:
quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
But there was another popular girl named Courtney and she liked John,
Ashley's boyfriend!

Uhhhhhhhhhhh........Courtney? This must be a work of a troll!

DarkDan

Wonder if this is the same Courtney that wrote the OP.

- Pseudo "hmmmm...could be" Croat

--------------------
"At all events, people who deny the influence of smaller nations should remember that the Croats have the rest of us by the throats." - Norman Davies, Europe: A History

God wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts.

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Koolaid
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by Jay, Vampire by Night:
...

I fear for humanity.

oh i dont fear for humanity anymore, the fear is over lol, its beyond fear....way..way beyond fear lol...some people are so stupid..lol
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moonlight
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
Comment: I heard a story about a girl named ashley. Ashley had a
boyfriend ,John, they had been together for one month! They were both very
popular. But there was another popular girl named Courtney and she liked John,
Ashley's boyfriend! Ashley and Courtney didnt really like each other. John
liked Ashley alot but he liked Courtney more. So one Friday John asked
Courtney to the movies. But Ashley heard the whole thing! So that night she
went to the movies also! She found them making out! So Courtney and John went
to John's house that night and well whatever u lil sick people are thinking
then thats what they did. So Ashley followed them. Once she saw she ran off
crying! A couple days later she never showed up! About a week later her parents
looked in the closet and found that she had hung herself! There was a note to
John!
Dear John,
I loved you soo much but i saw you with Courtney. I couldnt take it but its
too late now! IM DEAD!
Love,
-Ashley
Now its said that she haunts the dreams of any girl who steals a guy named john
from a girl whos going out with or in love with him!

I swear that you posted this exact same email in this forum once before...either that or major deja vu...

moon "I think being named Courtney is a requirement" light

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I'm back to lurking.

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The Duckwinged Sparverius
The Red and the Green Stamps


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I heard a UL recently that naming a girl with a name that ends in "ney" causes brain damage.

Oh, wait, maybe it WASN'T a UL....

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thed, speaker to mallards
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
But there was another popular girl named Courtney and she liked John,
Ashley's boyfriend!

OK, who really wrote this? Trollface? Mosh? Pogue? Some one here trying to spoof a gushing 14 yr old Courteney (sic)

th "court in the act" ed

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WittySquirrel
The Red and the Green Stamps


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ROTFL [Laughing out loud] hahaha... This the the best thread ever! It should be in the humour section.
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Jay, Duck Hunter
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by The Duckwinged Sparverius:
I heard a UL recently that naming a girl with a name that ends in "ney" causes brain damage.

Oh, wait, maybe it WASN'T a UL....

Tell that to my tomboy cousin Courtney.
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Psyche the Electric Penguin
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by thed, speaker to mallards:
Some one here trying to spoof a gushing 14 yr old Courteney (sic)

YOMANK [Laughing out loud]

Psyche, the 'I thought the minimum legal age was 16' penguin now ducking for cover

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snopes
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Comment: CAN YOU TELL ME HOW TO TALK TO THE PESEDENT
BY SENDING ME HIS ADDRESS OR EMAIL ADDRESS!
SINCERLY,
BRITTANY

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Isaac
Happy Holly Days


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I can help you, Brittany.

1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington, D.C. 20500

Hmmm, this website has phone numbers for everyone who works at the White House except the President. Even Laura Bush has a phone number! No luck finding an e-mail adress.

--------------------
All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo.

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