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Author Topic: My Jesus can beat up your facts
moonfall86
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
Comment: Dear snopes.com,

You are big fat stupid heads Santa Claus is real. He wasn't made by the
Coke Company. He's Saint Nick and Saint Nick is in the bible.

"Big fat stupid heads?" Doesn't this sound like a prank e-mail to anybody else?

I wish God would create an 11th Commandment: "Thou shalt not type in all caps."

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Canuckistan
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by moonfall86:
quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
Comment: Dear snopes.com,

You are big fat stupid heads Santa Claus is real. He wasn't made by the
Coke Company. He's Saint Nick and Saint Nick is in the bible.

"Big fat stupid heads?" Doesn't this sound like a prank e-mail to anybody else?

Or the rantings of a six-year-old. Or the intelligence of a six-year-old.

--------------------
People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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zman977
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Canuckistan's home:
quote:
Originally posted by moonfall86:
quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
Comment: Dear snopes.com,

You are big fat stupid heads Santa Claus is real. He wasn't made by the
Coke Company. He's Saint Nick and Saint Nick is in the bible.

"Big fat stupid heads?" Doesn't this sound like a prank e-mail to anybody else?

Or the rantings of a six-year-old. Or the intelligence of a six-year-old.
Maybe younger. My six year old niece has better language skills and is more intelligent than this. I'm guessing Three year old intelligence.

--------------------
Check out the podcast at www.candidradio.com

Ever notice how we always fall in love? We never climb gently in to love, or step lightly in to love. If love is such a good thing than why is it described as a fall.

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robbiev - singin' off key
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
Comment: Dear snopes.com,

You are big fat stupid heads Santa Claus is real. He wasn't made by the Coke Company. He's Saint Nick and Saint Nick is in the bible.

Yeah. Santa clause is real. It was foretold that he would fly for my sins.


-edited because I thought of something funnier-

Robbiev -thought shalt not sleigh- 427

--------------------
Every time I see a good looking woman, I think, "0oooh. There's another one I'll never have!"

Corvette. The louder you scream, the faster I'll go.

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Canuckistan
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quote:
Originally posted by robbiev427:
Santa clause is real. It was foretold that he would fly for my sins.

So it is true! He did die on the cross for me!

I'll be praying to my chimney this weekend. And I've also heard that Saint Rudolph who to pray for those with nose problems.

--------------------
People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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TrishDaDish
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Somehow I'm offended with everybody here, because I have, on more than one occasion, used the term "stupidhead". Usually when referring to myself! [Razz]

Trish "And it's spelt 'Stupidhead'! It's one word, not two, dammit!" DaDish

--------------------
I would prefer not to.
My blog

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Little Pink Pill
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
Pray tell, in which Biblical book is the story of Saint Nick? I'm unable to recall any mention of him in the Bible. Is he related to Balaam's Ass?
Sheesh, do you people never read the Bible?

II Saint Nicolas 2:17

Thou shalt not take the name of Santa in vain, nor shall you reproduce his image nor likeness on carbonated beverages for advertising purposes. This is an abomination, saith the Elf.

--------------------
The technical term is narcissism. You can't believe everything is your fault unless you also believe you're all powerful.--House

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Mistletoey Chloe
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But there's controversy about the word you've conveniently translated as "carbonated." Most modern scholars think a better translation is "decaffeinated," thereby allowing for the use of Santa's likeness on many tasty beverages.

--------------------
~~Ai am in mai prrrrrraime!~~

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Canuckistan
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Some scholars also believe that the Elf was much more than an elf, and was, in fact, the person we refer to as Mrs. Claus. But early followers disliked that Mrs. Claus was considered an equal to Santa, and made her an Elf. The legend of Mrs. Claus, however, lives to this day.

Okay, I'll stop now.

Probably.

--------------------
People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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00-Saleen
Deck the Malls


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Hey dipstick, that's Old Nick who's in the Bible. Although I prefer "Old Scratch".
[dunce]

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Major D. Saster
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Midgard_Dragon:
I would like to know where Saint Nick comes in in the Bible as well. Maybe they're thinking of one of those other guys that's always depicted with a long white beard?

Saint Nick isn't in the Bible - he's one of those early saints mentioned in the medieval "Golden Legend" (the unlikely lifes and deeds of the saints and martyrs), a book that is of course full of inaccuracies (it tells of things that are supposed to have taken place several centuries before, and the facts - if any - were deformed by many generations of devout storytellers who embellished them every time).

Here's the original text (a little lenghty) :

http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/basis/goldenlegend/GL-vol2-nicholas.html

And here's a short and interesting text about how Saint Nicholas was mixed up with folklorical pagan characters :

http://www.geocities.com/EnchantedForest/Cottage/8409/legend.html

When I was a kid (in a catholic region), we learned an old popular french song about Saint Nicholas and how he resurrected three murdered children, thus becoming the saint protector of children.

In some swiss catholic cantons, there are still processions on december 6 where the saint is represented in his original costume : as a bishop. The guy in a red suit and boots is known as "le pre Nol" (Father Christmas), and everyone knows he's of pagan origin, just like the Easter Bunny.

Funnily, le Pre Nol (Santa) is much more popular among kids, because the genuine Saint Nicholas only brings small traditional gifts such as oranges or nuts to reward nice children, and usually comes with his trusty sidekick "Pre Fouettard" ("Father Whipper"), who's supposed to spank the bad kids (there's no more spanking now - he just scares them) [lol]

Being a pure product of the modern world, Santa brings all these cool remote-controlled SUVs and video games... if a kid's been really naughty, he will just bring less expensive presents [Wink] .

Needless to say there is no trace of "Pre Fouettard" in the Bible - and not even in the golden Legend [Big Grin] ... he's a convenient boogeyman invented by anonymous, yet smart medieval parents to frighten kids into obedience.

--------------------
Desperate, but not serious.

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Little Pink Pill
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
Originally posted by Chloe:
But there's controversy about the word you've conveniently translated as "carbonated." Most modern scholars think a better translation is "decaffeinated," thereby allowing for the use of Santa's likeness on many tasty beverages.

Well, I'll admit it the word can be translated both ways, depending on the infix, but after the finding of the North Pole Scrolls, ice locked for 2000 years, it appears the traditional interpretation of "carbonated" is the more accurate. Also, I believe in the context of I Saint Nic 5:4-6, where the word is translated something more like "fizzy pop," the meaning is pretty clear. That leaves the door wide open for eggnog, however.

Canuckistan, as for you, I'm shocked you would even bring up the "Mrs. Clause as an elf" herasy. Blasphemer!

--------------------
The technical term is narcissism. You can't believe everything is your fault unless you also believe you're all powerful.--House

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Senior
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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It's obvious that Mrs. Claus was an elf. As it says in Nebucadonasor 1:1066-1068 "Thou shalt not lie with an elf as thou wouldst with a woman, for it is an abomination, unless thou livest in icy regions, where there shall be much rejoicing if thou canst find an maiden elf to lie with (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)."

--------------------
Ad astra per asparagus.

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Canuckistan
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quote:
Canuckistan, as for you, I'm shocked you would even bring up the "Mrs. Clause as an elf" herasy. Blasphemer!
That's the third time today I've been ex-communicated.

But the truth shall surface one day! You can't keep Mrs. Claus down forever!

--------------------
People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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robbiev - singin' off key
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by Little Pink Pill:
quote:
Pray tell, in which Biblical book is the story of Saint Nick? I'm unable to recall any mention of him in the Bible. Is he related to Balaam's Ass?
Sheesh, do you people never read the Bible?

II Saint Nicolas 2:17

Thou shalt not take the name of Santa in vain, nor shall you reproduce his image nor likeness on carbonated beverages for advertising purposes. This is an abomination, saith the Elf.

I thought that was "To thine one Elf be true." [Roll Eyes]

--------------------
Every time I see a good looking woman, I think, "0oooh. There's another one I'll never have!"

Corvette. The louder you scream, the faster I'll go.

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robbiev - singin' off key
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by Canuckistan's home:
quote:
Originally posted by robbiev427:
Santa clause is real. It was foretold that he would fly for my sins.

So it is true! He did die on the cross for me!

I'll be praying to my chimney this weekend. And I've also heard that Saint Rudolph who to pray for those with nose problems.

Personally, I pray to the owner the Chinese restaurant near my house. He promised to fry for my sins.

Sorry, they just keep getting worse. [fish]

Robbiev -he also promised to take my dog for a wok- 427

--------------------
Every time I see a good looking woman, I think, "0oooh. There's another one I'll never have!"

Corvette. The louder you scream, the faster I'll go.

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TrishDaDish
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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I pray to my eye doctor. She promises no sty for my sins.

Trish "Or was it 'Pink eye'?" DaDish

--------------------
I would prefer not to.
My blog

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Canuckistan
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The most obvious one, of course, is the hairdresser.

He'll dye for my trims.

My turn: [fish]

--------------------
People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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TrishDaDish
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Eat waffles for your sins

--------------------
I would prefer not to.
My blog

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TrishDaDish
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Pray to your recycling center. They'll buy for your tins.

Kill me now.

--------------------
I would prefer not to.
My blog

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snopes
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Comment: Your comments on the candy cane history, may or may not be true,
however, where is your spirit of symbolism and hope. People need symobols
and hope in thier lives to help in this otherwise wicked and mostly devoid
of goodness world. Why must you try and crush that? If you wish to crush
peoples' hope in the world, please confine it to you and your family.

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snopes
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quote:
If you wish to crush peoples' hope in the world, please confine it to you and your family.
So what are you doing reading our pages, anyway? Keep your pryin' eyes out of our business, Nosey Nellie!

- snopes

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Canuckistan
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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
Comment: Your comments on the candy cane history, may or may not be true, however, where is your spirit of symbolism and hope.

Where is your spirit of grammar and spelling?

quote:
People need symobols and hope in thier lives to help in this otherwise wicked and mostly devoid of goodness world.
Yeah. We don't need actual good in the world, nor should we work for that. After all, that would be difficult to achieve. We should be happy with a symbol ... and a made-up symbol, at that. [Roll Eyes]

quote:
Why must you try and crush that?
Just to see the look on your face. It's priceless.

quote:
If you wish to crush peoples' hope in the world, please confine it to you and your family.

If you wish to live in a fantasy, please confine it to you. Not your family, though -- they deserve better.

--------------------
People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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Damian
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
Comment: Your comments on the candy cane history, may or may not be true,
however, where is your spirit of symbolism and hope. People need symobols
and hope in thier lives to help in this otherwise wicked and mostly devoid
of goodness world. Why must you try and crush that? If you wish to crush
peoples' hope in the world, please confine it to you and your family.

Using canes as a symbol of gaiety is politically incorrect, as it mocks the lame.

Why do you hate handicapped people??? Why do you seek to humiliate them in such a way??? [flame]

--------------------
"I always tell the truth. Even when I lie." - Tony Montana

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Verly The Elf
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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I don't get why these people are so upset. unless they truly think Santa is real. I mean, most Christians I know have no problem telling their kids there is a Santa. So what's the harm in also telling their kids some silly story about candy canes even though they know that is not the truth either. [Roll Eyes]

--------------------
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. ~Kin Hubbard

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Canuckistan
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quote:
Originally posted by verlybabe:
I don't get why these people are so upset. unless they truly think Santa is real. I mean, most Christians I know have no problem telling their kids there is a Santa. So what's the harm in also telling their kids some silly story about candy canes even though they know that is not the truth either. [Roll Eyes]

The problem is that they think it is the truth. And that any attempt to refute the truth of the story is an attack on Jesus Christ himself. Of course, this is just one of many attacks on Christians today, so they have to fight back, and condemn the heathens who would dare use the truth against a story that isn't even in the Bible.

Oh, I almost forgot: [Roll Eyes]

--------------------
People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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Verly The Elf
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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quote:
Originally posted by Canuckistan's home:
quote:
Originally posted by verlybabe:
I don't get why these people are so upset. unless they truly think Santa is real. I mean, most Christians I know have no problem telling their kids there is a Santa. So what's the harm in also telling their kids some silly story about candy canes even though they know that is not the truth either. [Roll Eyes]

The problem is that they think it is the truth. And that any attempt to refute the truth of the story is an attack on Jesus Christ himself. Of course, this is just one of many attacks on Christians today, so they have to fight back, and condemn the heathens who would dare use the truth against a story that isn't even in the Bible.

Oh, I almost forgot: [Roll Eyes]

ahhh... must be that rational thinking Christian fault I have again. I'll do better next time. lol

--------------------
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. ~Kin Hubbard

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Canuckistan
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quote:
Originally posted by verlybabe:
ahhh... must be that rational thinking Christian fault I have again. I'll do better next time. lol

Now you're getting it ... we'll make you a reactionary yet! [Wink]

--------------------
People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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Mr. Baggins
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by Canuckistan's home:
quote:
Canuckistan, as for you, I'm shocked you would even bring up the "Mrs. Clause as an elf" herasy. Blasphemer!
That's the third time today I've been ex-communicated.

But the truth shall surface one day! You can't keep Mrs. Claus down forever!

"But boy, is it fun to try", added a smirking Santa Claus.

--------------------
"The system would also let you send your picture and contact details to a rough trade gay contact mailing list saying you like to be surprised with power tools in a non-consensual role play scenario but that doesnt mean you SHOULD do it.!"

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snopes
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Comment: I was looking up the candy cane legend, stumbled upon your site.
I'm always looking for ways to bring the focus of Christmas back to where
it belongs on "Christ". I think all your time and research could seriously
be spent on something more productive, don't you!? I hope you find the
true meaning of the season, HE is the reason for the season!

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Canuckistan
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quote:
Originally posted by snopes:
Comment: I was looking up the candy cane legend, stumbled upon your site.

Well, starts off well enough.

quote:
I'm always looking for ways to bring the focus of Christmas back to where it belongs on "Christ".
Damn.

Ah, making connections where there aren't any. 'Round here, we call these people glurge writers.

quote:
I think all your time and research could seriously be spent on something more productive, don't you!?
More productive than the truth? I know a certain religious leader who might disagree with you. Are you promoting lies? Ye spawn of Satan

quote:
I hope you find the true meaning of the season, HE is the reason for the season!
He's the meaning of winter? He's the one who's causing my heating bills and snow shovelling? Well, now I know where to direct my rage at.

--------------------
People need to stop appropriating Jesus as their reason for behaving badly. It's so irritating. (Avril)

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Floater
Xboxing Day


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quote:
Originally posted by Canuckistan under the tree:
He's the meaning of winter? He's the one who's causing my heating bills and snow shovelling? Well, now I know where to direct my rage at.

Of course, Jesus was born at Christmas, when winter starts and died at Easter when winter ends.

--------------------
Sm hnor skall inte lgga stora gg fr d blir de slarviga i ndan

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snopes
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Comment: I didn't read your entire article about the e-mail about the
missing day being proven by NASA because the reference to the Bible story
as a "tale" turned me off. I just wanted to write this to you: I do
believe in that missing day, or, as the Bible says, "about one day." Since
the Bible is the inspired word of God, written through His prophets, and
then translated from the original Greek to a language we can understand,
that's proof enough for me.

For anyone needing further proof, I have read about some ancient documents
speaking of a day when the sun never rose, which is found to be
approximately around the time of the story related in Joshua.

I have heard of an alarming amount of people ridiculing the Bible and God
and Christians. Yet many of them get upset about the thought of not saying
Merry Christmas, but instead Happy Holidays. I've read where someone
ridiculed the story of Jonah and the Whale, and ridiculed the thought of
God creating the earth. Well, Christ has already been determined to be
real to many of those unbelievers, yet they say that He was a great
teacher, but a liar. A great teacher is not a liar. A great teacher is
someone who tells the truth. And Christ said that as Jonah was in the
belly of the whale three days, so Christ would be in the tomb three days.
He also spoke of God creating the earth and the destruction of Soddom and
Gomorrah and numerous other Old Testament stories. If even He said it, and
He was real, then what other proof does anyone need that it all happened?
We shouldn't even need any proof besides the Bible anyway. I certainly
don't. The Bible, the sunsets, the sunrises, etc. are proof enough to me
of God and His works. That should be good enough for anyone. Our lives
should be proof. The fact that those planes on September 11 and those
buildings weren't holding as many people as what was usual. If it hadn't
have been for the grace of God, the loss of life would have been much
worse. It was bad enough, but could have been much worse.

One final thing, here's a joke I've heard that pretty much sums this up:
"One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come
a long way and no longer needed God. So they picked one scientist to go
and tell Him that they were done with Him. The scientist walked up to God
and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the
point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't
you just go on and get lost." God listened very patiently and kindly to
the man. After the scientist was done talking, God said, "Very well, how
about this? Let's say we have a man-making contest." To which the
scientist replied, "Okay, great!" But God added, "Now, we're going to do
this just like I did back in the old days with Adam." The scientist said,
"Sure, no problem" and bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt.
God looked at him and said, "No, no, no. You go get your own dirt!"

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Don Enrico
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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I didn't read your entire e-mail because the reference to the Bible story as a "proof" turned me off.

Don "stop doing that" Enrico

--------------------
My spelling is Wobbly. It's good spelling, but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places. - Pooh Bear

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snopes
Return! Return! Return!


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Comment: The candy cane is very symbolic to Christianity. I am sorry that
you do not feel that you can relate the candy cane to our Lord and Savior.

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