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Author Topic: Garrison Keillor on the new Republican Party?
Greg of Winter
Xboxing Day


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I was wondering if this really came from GK...

quote:

Something has gone seriously haywire with the Republican Party.

By Garrison Keillor
Broadcast on August 26, 2004

Something has gone seriously haywire with the Republican Party. Once, it
was the party of pragmatic Main Street businessmen in steel-rimmed
spectacles who decried profligacy and waste, were devoted to their
communities and supported the sort of prosperity that raises all ships.
They were good-hearted people who vanquished the gnarlier elements of their
party, the paranoid Roosevelt-haters, the flat Earthers and Prohibitionists,
the anti-papist anti-foreigner element.

The genial Eisenhower was their man, a genuine American hero of D-Day, who
made it OK for reasonable people to vote Republican. He brought the Korean
War to a stalemate, produced the Interstate Highway System, declined to
rescue the French colonial army in Vietnam, and gave us a period of peace
and prosperity, in which (oddly) American arts and letters flourished and
higher education burgeoned -- and there was a degree of plain decency in the
country. Fifties Republicans were giants compared to today's. Richard
Nixon was the last Republican leader to feel a Christian obligation toward
the poor.

In the years between Nixon and Newt Gingrich, the party migrated southward
down the Twisting Trail of Rhetoric and sneered at the idea of public
service and became the Scourge of Liberalism, the Great Crusade Against the
Sixties, the Death Star of Government, a gang of pirates that diverted and
fascinated the media by their sheer chutzpah, such as the misty-eyed
flag-waving of Ronald Reagan who, while George McGovern flew bombers in
World War II, took a pass and made training films in Long Beach. The Nixon
moderate vanished like the passenger pigeon, purged by a legion of angry
white men who rose to power on pure punk politics. "Bipartisanship is
another term for date rape," says Grover Norquist, the Sid Vicious of the
GOP. "I don't want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to
the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub."
The boy has Oedipal problems and government is his daddy.

The party of Lincoln and Liberty was transmogrified into the party of
hairy-backed swamp developers and corporate shills, faith-based economists,
fundamentalist bullies with Bibles, Christians of convenience, freelance
racists, misanthropic frat boys, shrieking midgets of AM radio, tax cheats,
nihilists in golf pants, brownshirts in pinstripes, sweatshop tycoons,
hacks, fakirs, aggressive dorks, Lamborghini libertarians, people who
believe Neil Armstrong's moonwalk was filmed in Roswell, New Mexico, little
honkers out to diminish the rest of us, Newt's evil spawn and their
Etch-A-Sketch president, a dull and rigid man suspicious of the free flow of
information and of secular institutions, whose philosophy is a jumble of
badly sutured body parts trying to walk.

Republicans: The No.1 reason the rest of the world thinks we're deaf, dumb
and dangerous. Rich ironies abound! Lies pop up like toadstools in the
forest! Wild swine crowd round the public trough! Outrageous
gerrymandering! Pocket lining on a massive scale! Paid lobbyists sit in co
mmittee rooms and write legislation to alleviate the suffering of
billionaires! Hypocrisies shine like cat turds in the moonlight! O Mark
Twain, where art thou at this hour? Arise and behold the Gilded Age
reincarnated gaudier than ever, upholding great wealth as the sure sign of
Divine Grace.

Here in 2004, George W. Bush is running for reelection on a platform of
tragedy. The single greatest failure of national defense in our history,
the attacks of 9/11 in which 19 men with box cutters put this nation into a
tailspin, a failure the details of which the White House fought to keep
secret even as it ran the country into hock up to the hubcaps, thanks to
generous tax cuts for the well-fixed, hoping to lead us into a box canyon of
debt that will render government impotent, even as we engage in a war
against a small country that was undertaken for the president's personal
satisfaction but sold to the American public on the basis of brazen
misinformation, a war whose purpose is to distract us from an enormous
transfer of wealth taking place in this country, flowing upward, and the
deception is working beautifully.

The concentration of wealth and power in the hands of the few is the death
knell of democracy. No republic in the history of humanity has survived
this. The election of 2004 will say something about what happens to ours.
The omens are not good. Our beloved land has been fogged with fear; the
greatest political strategy ever. An ominous silence, distant sirens, a
drumbeat of whispered warnings and alarms to keep the public uneasy and
silence the opposition. And in a time of vague fear, you can appoint
bullet-brained judges, strip the bark off the Constitution, eviscerate
federal regulatory agencies, bring public education to a standstill, stupefy
the press, lavish gorgeous tax breaks on the rich.

There is a stink drifting through this election year. It isn't the Florida
recount or the Supreme Court decision. No, it's 9/11 that we keep coming
back to. It wasn't the "end of innocence," or a turning point in our
history, or a cosmic occurrence, it was an event, a lapse of security. And
patriotism shouldn't prevent people from asking hard questions of the man
who was purportedly in charge of national security at the time.

Whenever I think of those New Yorkers hurrying along Park Place or getting
off the No.1 Broadway local, hustling toward their office on the 90th floor,
the morning paper under their arms, I think of that non-reader George W.
Bush and how he hopes to exploit those people with a little economic uptick,
maybe the capture of Osama, cruise to victory in November and proceed to get
some serious nation-changing done in his second term.

This year, as in the past, Republicans will portray us Democrats as
embittered academics, desiccated Unitarians, whacked-out hippies and
communards, people who talk to telephone poles, the party of the Deadheads.
They will wave enormous flags and wow over and over the footage of firemen
in the wreckage of the World Trade Center and bodies being carried out and
they will lie about their economic policies with astonishing enthusiasm.

The Union is what needs defending this year. Government of Enron and by
Halliburton and for the Southern Baptists is not the same as what Lincoln
spoke of. This gang of Pithecanthropus Republicanii has humbugged us to
death on terrorism and tax cuts for the comfy and school prayer and flag
burning and claimed the right to know what books we read and to dump their
sewage upstream from the town and clear-cut the forests and gut the IRS and
mark up the constitution on behalf of intolerance and promote the corporate
takeover of the public airwaves and to hell with anybody who opposes them.

This is a great country, and it wasn't made so by angry people. We have a
sacred duty to bequeath it to our grandchildren in better shape than however
we found it. We have a long way to go and we're not getting any younger.




--------------------
Meanwhile, at stately Wayne Manor...

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mizake the mizan
The Red and the Green Stamps


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Might be. Seems to go along with the general theme of his newest book:
http://prairiehome.publicradio.org/features/deskofgk/2004/08/hgd_1thru4.pdf

Not exactly sure how he finds its approrpiate to lump libertarians and "fundamentalist bullies with Bibles" together... but then again, I'm not the author.

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Jason Threadslayer
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by Gregalon:
quote:
such as the misty-eyed flag-waving of Ronald Reagan who, while George McGovern flew bombers in World War II, took a pass and made training films in Long Beach.

Reagan didn't "take a pass" -- he volunteered for active duty in the Army and classified him as unfit for combit. The Army asked him to make training films.

quote:
Originally posted by Gregalon:
quote:
This gang of Pithecanthropus Republicanii [..] gut the IRS

Hmm, I didn't know that the IRS was such a sacred cow.

--------------------
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Jason Threadslayer
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quote:
Originally posted by mizake the mizan:
Not exactly sure how he finds its approrpiate to lump libertarians and "fundamentalist bullies with Bibles" together... but then again, I'm not the author.

Actually, libertarians and "fundamentalist bullies with Bibles" (aka the "religious right") are two of the factions of the Republican Party.

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Moosedog
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by Jason Threadslayer:
Actually, libertarians and "fundamentalist bullies with Bibles" (aka the "religious right") are two of the factions of the Republican Party.

I thought that the Libertarians were a separate party. Silly me.
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AnglsWeHvHrdOnHiRdr
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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There is a faction of self-ascribed libertarians within the republican party. They are those who believe that they shouldn't pay any taxes, but see no problem, say, denying the right of homosexuals to marry.

--------------------
"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."--George Bernard Shaw

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Don't Sream Me Shirley
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
There is a faction of self-ascribed libertarians within the republican party. They are those who believe that they shouldn't pay any taxes, but see no problem, say, denying the right of homosexuals to marry.
Which is of course only assuming that every member of the Republican party supports every aspect of the party's platform. This of course cannot be true can it? Well, it's not in my case nor in the case of many of the Republicans that I know.
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AnglsWeHvHrdOnHiRdr
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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What I am saying is that there are those who call themselves "Libertarians" who are, in all truthfulness, republicans.

They are republicans because they support every aspect of republican ideals, and only half of the libertarian.

--------------------
"When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."--George Bernard Shaw

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Jason Threadslayer
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by AnglRdr:
There is a faction of self-ascribed libertarians within the republican party. They are those who believe that they shouldn't pay any taxes, but see no problem, say, denying the right of homosexuals to marry.

Those are the social conservatives. The libertarian Republicans are opposed to bans on gay marriage. Their ideas on gay marriage range from let the states decide to complete equal marriage rights.

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dam9191
Deck the Malls


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I'd thought I'd add that Michael Moore quoted from this tonight at Williams Arena in Mpls.

--------------------
"There is no Heaven
So I can't believe in Room 19."
-Bob Geldof

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WildaBeast
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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Getting back to the question in the OP as to whether or not this actually was Garrison Keillor...

quote:
By Garrison Keillor
Broadcast on August 26, 2004

Garrison's show, A Prairie Home Companion, is broadcast on Saturday evenings (many stations will also rebroarcast it on other days, usually Sunday afternoon). August 26, 2004 was a Thursday.

Also, every show broadcast during August 2004 was a rerun -- the new season just started a few weeks ago. The August 28 show (the closest date to the one in the OP), was a rebroadcast from June 8, 2002. The August 21 show (which some station could have rebroadcast on the 26th,I suppose) originally aired December 27, 2003. Interestingly, Al Franken was a guest on that particular show, but I am a pretty regular listener and I don't remember anything like the OP in that or any other show. A quick check of the descriptions of the shows from August 2004 doesn't reveal anything close to the OP.

So if Garisson Keillor said that, it wasn't on his own show. And as a regular listener in my opinion the OP just doesn't really sound like him. There's plenty of political satire in his show, but the OP just wasn't funny. It's is concievible, I suppose, that he said it as a guest on some other show.

--------------------
"Unseasonable is an odd word to begin with. It sounds like it's describing something that it's impossible to sprinkle pepper on." -- Nonny

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dam9191
Deck the Malls


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He is quoted as writing it in the Seattle PI - Sept. 12, 2004:

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/opinion/190090_garrison12.html

And in the August 26, 2004 "In These Times" opinion article:
http://www.inthesetimes.com/site/main/article/979/

I would say it must be an essay from his new book.

[I more than likely not be something he had on the show, but I could be wrong about that.]

--------------------
"There is no Heaven
So I can't believe in Room 19."
-Bob Geldof

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dam9191
Deck the Malls


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From this link you can read chapters 1-4 of his new book "The Hometown Democrat":

http://prairiehome.publicradio.org/features/deskofgk/2004/08/10_homegrown.shtml

Here is the link for Chapters 1-4; please refer to Chapter 2 for the essay in question:

http://prairiehome.publicradio.org/features/deskofgk/2004/08/hgd_1thru4.pdf

dam "...and where all the children are above average" 9191

--------------------
"There is no Heaven
So I can't believe in Room 19."
-Bob Geldof

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