"Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill every time." -don't know who originally said it, but my grandfather likes to quote it a lot. "Believe what you want, it doesn't change the truth." Cajun saying
And then there is the fountain of all wisdom. Yes, I'm speaking of "The Simpsons" -"Too bad. You're screwed. Good-bye" Fired garbage comissioner. -"I got it" Lisa Simpson -"On closer inspection, these are loafers." And of course, the best quote "D'uh!"
-------------------- There is no interpersonal problem so big that it can't be solved with a suitably large amount of high explosives. ~ Bufungla
quote:Originally posted by Mama Duck: "And then there is the fountain of all wisdom. Yes, I'm speaking of "The Simpsons"
Oh goody! Here are my favs:
"The strong must protect the sweet"
"it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."
"Here's to alcohol: the source of, and answer to, all of life's problems."
"The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV"
"Trying is the first step towards failure."
"I like my beer cold…my TV loud…and my homosexuals flaming"
"The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do."
"Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so that it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use."
"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!"
"Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button"
"Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such"
Okay, instant classic brought to us by one of our own. I can't wait for a situation to arise just so I can use this quote.
quote: Polymers/plastics have certain physical and mechanical properties that cheese doesn't quite have. Alchemy
-------------------- There is no interpersonal problem so big that it can't be solved with a suitably large amount of high explosives. ~ Bufungla Posts: 3562 | From: South Texas | Registered: Oct 2001
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The Red and the Green Stamps
Simpsons trivia #865: Did you know that, in the first Simpsons scripts, "D'oh!" is referred to as "ANNOYED GRUNT". How they made that into "D'oh!" is beyond me.
quote: "Watch that first step -- It's a lulu!" Bugs Bunny
"I knew I shoulda taken a left at Albakoikee!"
A few of mine.
"Well.....since you're here.......and I'm here..........doesn't that sort of make it..like..our time???"
"People on ludes should not drive cars!!!!"
----Spicolli; Fast Times at Ridgemont High
"If you can't be an athlete: Be an athletic supporter!" ---The high school principal (who's name escapes me) from "Grease"
Of course oral sex is adultry! If Curling is an Olympic sport; oral sex is adultry. I, for one, believe oral sex should be an Olympic sport. Because it's very difficult and if you're any good at it....................you deserve a medal!" ----Lewis Black
and, on a more serious note..
Morality is not now and never has been a significant part of the criminal justice system. ---Justice Thurgood Marshal
The future is ugly; so we put our prophets in prison. ---Charles Manson
I keep six honest serving-men (They taught me all I knew); Their names are What and Why and When And How and Where and Who. -- Kipling
"There's only one thing wrong with that plan. Its complete bollocks." - Blackadder
"I'm Brian and so's my wife!" - Life of Brian, Monthy Python
There's one I can't remember verbatim, but it's from Interesting Times by Terry Pratchett. After Cohen despatches some ninjas who try to fight with style instead of fighting to win, he says something like "you can either fight, or you can muck about, but you can't do both."
I remember hearing Johnny Carson say this years ago as 'Karnak the Magnificent'.
Ryan's "Anybody wanna my tie?" Privates
"May a near-sighted rhinocerous fall in love with your Volkswagen (sp?)"
-------------------- "No matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the computer will say, 'Specify type of goat.'"