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BlueRose
The Red and the Green Stamps


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Very good, Paul! As for the first quote (the Latin one), I am relieved and no longer intimidated that no one on the board has thus far admitted to understanding it.

"Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes" means...
"If you can read this, you're overeducated"

Amy "far from overeducated" Bennett


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SYXX6
The Red and the Green Stamps


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two old irish proverbs:

the new broom sweeps clean but the old brush knows all the corners.

anything will fit a naked man.


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Average-Girl
The Red and the Green Stamps


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Simpsons:
I think I wet my bed"-ralph
Mmmmm, gooey-Homer

Newsradio:
Dave, how bout after work, we go to the zoo and shoot goats?-Bill

I ate a piece of Pizza off the floor in august...am I going to die?-Matthew


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Kamino Neko
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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quote:
Originally posted by Paul Ward:
Cuius testiculos habes, habeas cardia et cerebellum
--Terry Pratchett
(Loosely translated: If you have their full attentions, their hearts and minds will follow.)

VERY loosely. And I think Pratchet's only responsible for the Latinised version, though I can't remember for the life of me who said the original...

Tengu

--------------------
Blueberry, Blackberry, Raspberry, Strawberry
Merry Merry-go-round, Funky Funky Playground


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chloe monster
The Red and the Green Stamps


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I just find this one amusing....


"I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves." - Jerry Garcia


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Paul Ward
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by Tengu, Lord of Mists:
And I think Pratchet's only responsible for the Latinised version, though I can't remember for the life of me who said the original...

You mean, Grab them by the (NFBSK)s and their hearts and minds will follow? I'd always heard it attributed to Gen. William Westmoreland, commander of U.S. forces in Vietnam.

Pterry is the man to watch when it comes to pseudo-latin quotations, though. I was vastly amused when I read that Death's coat of arms has the motto Non timetis messor(*)...

--Paul "Sodomy non sapiens" Ward


(*)Not to spoil the fun, but people might be wondering, so I'll just let everyone know that translates to "Don't fear the reaper."


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Dr. Winston O'Boogie
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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Just a couple of my favorites.....

"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics." Benjamin Disraeli (NOT Mark Twain)

"A conspiracy of silence speaks louder than words." Dr. Winston O'Boogie (AKA John Lennon)

"Some Scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe." Frank Zappa

"Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets." Yogi Berra

"Money is a terrible master but an excellent servant." P. T. Barnum

"Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy." Groucho Marx

"I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book." Groucho Marx

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Benjamin Franklin

PT "Quotes 'R' Us" Vroman

PS - And, of course, my sig,....

--------------------
"The large print givith, and the small print taketh away" -- Tom Waits, Step Right Up

"The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad." -- Salvador Dali


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The Ancient Zenman
The Red and the Green Stamps


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'I always wanted to see Paris before I died. Philadelphia would do.' - W.C. Fields

"You could take all the sincerity in Hollywood, put it in a flea's navel and still have room for a sesame seed and an agent's heart." - Fred Allen

"Awh heck no! After high school I'm gonna cut the soles off my shoes, live in a tree and learn to play the flute!" - Porgy Tirebiter in 'Highschool Madness!'


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Small Town Saint
The Red and the Green Stamps


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"You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you."
-Silent Bob, Clerks

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Veneer-gonomicly designed
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by fermifan:
What you said here reminds me of one of my all time favorites.

"Whoever knows he is deep strives for clarity; whoever would like to appear deep to the crowd, strives for obscurity. For the crowd considers anything deep if only it cannot see the bottom. The crowd is so timid and afraid of going into the water." -Nietzsche


Yee-hah! I've been using this quote for years without knowing its origin.
Thank you thank you thank you!

It's funny that it should be from my man Freddy though. He's none too easy a read himself.

Veneer


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Proserpine
The Red and the Green Stamps


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My favorite quote is by Rita Rudner:

"Relationships don't last anymore. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is, "Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?" "


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christmas tree kitapper
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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One of my favorites is from Jean Kerr (who said she'd seen it somewhere else): If you can keep your head when all those around you are losing theirs it's just possible that you don't have a firm grasp of the situation.

kitap

--------------------
"I have never in my life been more disappointed by a politician I voted for than I have been with George Bush. He is a total liberal."- overheard by me on the shuttle to the U of A game on Nov. 11th.


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dcmoore
The Red and the Green Stamps


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My two favorites:

"Anyone driving faster than you is a maniac, anyone driving slower than you is an idiot."
-George Carlin

"Never ever say anything to imply a woman is pregnant unless you actually see the head crowning."
-Dave Barry


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moss
The Red and the Green Stamps


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Mine is right here....
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Brad from Georgia
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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"Don't take life so serious, son. It ain't nohow permanent."
--Walt Kelly

--------------------
"No hard feelin's and HOPpy New Year!"--Walt Kelly
Hear what you're missing: ARTC podcasts! http://artcpodcast.org/

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MS
The Red and the Green Stamps


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I know I'm a little late, but what the hell:

"Base not your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away" - Peter Steele

"The light at the end of the tunnel may be you" - Aerosmith

"A true friend stabs you in the front" - Oscar Wilde

"What would Ozzy do?" - bumpersticker, mocks the "What would Jesus do" bumpersticker

"If it's too loud, you're too old" - Airheads
(-)


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Farkle
The Red and the Green Stamps


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Absence on Love effects the same
As winds oppos'd to fire
Extinguishes a feeble Flame
And blows a great one higher
-Anne Finch

so shoot me, I am in sooky my SO was just here and it was fantastic but she had to leave again mode

back to curmudgeon next week


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OuijiDoll
The Red and the Green Stamps


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"The tornado was a bigun- it picked up my dog and set it down o'er yonder, I could see it comin all the way from the farm." -Earl Smith, describing his 7th tornado encounter for the Eutaw News.
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MikeSez!
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by kitap, whipsnake herder:
One of my favorites is from Jean Kerr (who said she'd seen it somewhere else): If you can keep your head when all those around you are losing theirs it's just possible that you don't have a firm grasp of the situation.

kitap


If you can keep your head when all those around you are losing yours, you will be a man my son - Slightly misquoted Kipling.

I used to have as a sig-line Once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth - a quote from Sherlock Holmes.

Also fictional, but I love Jeeves' One strives to give satisfaction


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bufungla
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
Hunter S. Thompson

.. and if MikeSez is interested in the complete text of Kipling's "If", it's at:
http://www.poetryloverspage.com/poets/kipling/kipling_ind.html

Which is as good an excuse as any to repeat the old Kipling joke:

Man: Pardon me, but do you like Kipling?
Woman: I don't know, you silly boy - I've never Kippled

--------------------
"Pardon him. Theodotus: he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature."

George Bernard Shaw, Caesar and Cleopatra


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MikeSez!
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by bufungla:
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
Hunter S. Thompson

.. and if MikeSez is interested in the complete text of Kipling's "If", it's at:
http://www.poetryloverspage.com/poets/kipling/kipling_ind.html

Which is as good an excuse as any to repeat the old Kipling joke:

Man: Pardon me, but do you like Kipling?
Woman: I don't know, you silly boy - I've never Kippled


Thank you for that - old joke snever die, they just get recycled every 15 years...

Anyway, the full text of If, from which I managed to combine the first and last lines, is here


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Jon Up North
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
A man didnít understand how televisions work, and was convinced that there must be lots of little men inside the box. manipulating images at high speed. An engineer explained to him about high frequency modulations of the electromagnetic spectrum, about transmitters and receivers, about amplifiers and cathode ray tubes, about scan lines moving across and down a phosphorescent screen. The man listened to the engineer with careful attention, nodding his head at every step of the argument. At the end he pronounced himself satisfied. He really did now understand how televisions work. "But I expect there are just a few little men in there, arenít there?"
-- Douglas Adams, a parable spoofing creationism that Adams often told, as retold by Richard Dawkins in "Lament for Douglas" (14 May 2001)

Makes me remember the times when I've tried, in vain, to debunk the urban legend of a true believer.

Jon "42" Up North

--------------------
We're not insured for pickles.


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fermifan
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by Veneer-gonomicly designed:
Yee-hah! I've been using this quote for years without knowing its origin.
Thank you thank you thank you!

It's funny that it should be from my man Freddy though. He's none too easy a read himself.

Veneer


The quote is from the appendix to Genealogy of Morals: "Seventy five aphorisms from five volumes" I only quote the man's aphorisms because, when you take his lines out of context, you strip them of their true meaning. To wit: What does not kill you makes you stronger.

The way people use that one, I think is very different from the way he intended it.

You're right, he's not easy to read but I just figured that, with philosophy, that's the nature of the beast. That science really drives it home that language and mathematics are brother and sister.


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Mr. Furious
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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I stumbled onto a cool quote from Clarence Darrow this weekend. It was quoted by Vincent Bugliosi in his book "Outrage", about the O.J. Simpson trial:

"I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure" was the part that Bugliosi quoted, but the full version is:

"I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment, to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure - that is all that agnosticism means."

--------------------
"He's not gonna let me in, I'm Mr. Dirty Mouth!"
- Jeffrey Coho (Craig Bierko), Boston Legal


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fermifan
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by MrFurious:
I stumbled onto a cool quote from Clarence Darrow this weekend. It was quoted by Vincent Bugliosi in his book "Outrage", about the O.J. Simpson trial:

"I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure" was the part that Bugliosi quoted, but the full version is:

"I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment, to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure - that is all that agnosticism means."


Ever read Plato's Apology?


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LcBerlyn
The Red and the Green Stamps


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some of my favorite quotes are:

"They are not rejecting the Christ they HEAR from us, they are rejecting the Christ they SEE in us."
-Steve Canfield-

"Circumstances don't MAKE you what you are, they REVEAL what you are."
-Steve Canfield-

This was already said but:
"Beware the fury of a patient man."
-John Dryden-

"God creates dinosaurs, God kills dnosaurs, God creates man, man kills God, man creates dinosaurs, dinosaurs eat man."
-Ian Malcolm- Jurassic Park


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Dr. Winston O'Boogie
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by LcBerlyn:
"God creates dinosaurs, God kills dnosaurs, God creates man, man kills God, man creates dinosaurs, dinosaurs eat man."
-Ian Malcolm- Jurassic Park

You didn't finish that one; one of my wife's favorite movie lines:
"Dinosaurs eat man; woman inherits the earth...
"
-Dr. Ellie Sattler - Jurassic Park

--------------------
"The large print givith, and the small print taketh away" -- Tom Waits, Step Right Up

"The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad." -- Salvador Dali


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Camryn Saint
The Red and the Green Stamps


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"God, you're greasy." Homer Simpson (this makes me and my best friend laugh every time we hear it)

"We're probably in hell already
Our dumb asses not knowing
And everybody kissin'ass to go to to heaven
ain't goin'." Tupac Shakur, Blasphemy (Sums up what I think pretty well)

"...She was filled with hate and anger
towards her step-father because he
took her mother from her when they
married." Beyonce Knowles, The Story of Beauty (Exactly the way I felt about my mom's boyfriend growing up)

Camryn "yes I was a spoiled, whiny brat" Saint


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bufungla
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by blue_jeans, armed with fly swatter:

"Live as if you were going to die tomorrow, but act as if you were going to live forever." ~~Gandi (maybe I misquoted, I'm doing this from memory)


or, as the comedian Tommy Sledge put it: "Live every day as if it were your last - with lots of whimpering, begging and pleading"

(btw, Gandhi is dandy, but liquor is quicker)

--------------------
"Pardon him. Theodotus: he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature."

George Bernard Shaw, Caesar and Cleopatra


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Shodan
The Red and the Green Stamps


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These are all quotes collected from www.e-budo.com.

'The practical measures we take always are based on the assumption that our enemies are not unintelligent.' - Achidamus II, King of Sparta
'Do not seek death. Death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.' - Dag Hammerskjold
'The hawk breaks the back of his prey not because of strength, but because of timing.' - Sun Tzu - The Art of War
'The only rule that counts in a real fight is waking up on the right side of the grass.' - Bud Malmstrom
'Squishy bits. Always go for the squishy bits.' - Unknown
'Observe the other hunters at work. It is just as important to know how their prey died as it is to understand the hunter's technique. For their prey's failure to live may provide you with important clues on how to avoid becoming dinner.' - Prof. T.Rex, 'Lectures on Survival and Combat'
'Banpen Fugyo (Be unshaken, whatever happens).' - Tozawa Hakuunsai
'Turn when pushed. Enter when pulled.' - Old judo advice
'Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser.' - Vince Lombardi
'Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished - If you're alive, it isn't.' - Richard Bach
'No single raindrop considers himself responsible for the flood.' - Unknown
'Avoid violence if it is at all honorable to do so, but never hit soft.' - Theodore Roosevelt
'Better to be judged by twelve than carried by six.' - Unknown
'It is a good excuse, but it is still an excuse.' - Kyosah
'Wizard's First Rule: People are stupid. Given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.' - Terry Goodkind, 'Wizard's First Rule'
'No matter where in the world you go - there you are.' - Buckaroo Banzai
'Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way - that is not easy.' - Aristotle
'The enemy is fear. We think it is hate, but it is fear.' - Gandhi
'You can build a throne with bayonets - but you can't sit on it for long.' - Boris Yeltsin
'The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.' - William Clayton
'He who is prudent, and patiently waits for an enemy who is not, will be victorious.' - Sun Tzu
'God did not make all men equal. Samuel Colt did that.' - Old West proverb
'You do not win a war by dying for your country. You win a war by making the other poor son of a bitch die for his country.' - George Patton
'Deja Fu - The feeling that somehow, somewhere, you've been kicked in the head like this before.' - Unknown
'The one thing that must be learnt, but cannot be taught, is understanding' - Zen proverb


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chipmunk88
The Red and the Green Stamps


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"Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than of blindfolded fear" --Thomas Jefferson

"Don't judge yourself by someone else's standards. You will always lose" --Billy Corgan

"The price of a memory is the memory of the sorrow it brings" --Adam Duritz


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Paul Unwin
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by Shodan:
These are all quotes collected from www.e-budo.com.

Snip...


And they all seem like things people might say in the aftermath of the attacks on the 11th.

Paul "but don't quote me on that" Unwin


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kjbrasda
Happy Holly Days


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There is an art to flying, or rather a knack. The knack lies in learing how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
-Douglas Adams Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (or one of the trilogy anyway)

--------------------
"Long ago, when we all lived in the forest..."
Who are you? Who? Who?

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noreen
We Three Blings


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Puritanism - The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
---H.L. Mencken


Don't look back. Something
may be gaining on you."
---Satchel Paige

--------------------
"No matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the computer will say, 'Specify type of goat.'"


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Abnrml1
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"Im a Zit... get it???"

John Belushi
Animal House
Words to Live By
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.
Mark Twain

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