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Author Topic: George Carlin or Rush Limbaugh?
Jackpine Savage
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I recently received what was supposedly a tirade from George Carlin that sounded a lot more like Rush Limbaugh--much too dumb and right-wing for dear old George. The title was, "I am an American--a BAD American" or something similar. Please tell me it's not really George's material.
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Pogue Ma-humbug
Happy Christmas (Malls are Open)


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Can you post a link or something so we can judge for ourselves?

--------------------
Let's drink to the causes in your life:
Your family, your friends, the union, your wife.

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Ewok
The Red and the Green Stamps


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Is this the tripe in question?
quote:

Yes, I Guess I am A BAD American.

I like big cars, big boats, big houses, and naturally - big tits.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies. I don't care about appearing compassionate.

I think playing with toy guns doesn't make you a killer.

I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.

I think I'm doing better than the homeless.

I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.

I have the right not to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird or piss me off.

I know what SEX is and there are not varying degrees of it. Hell, just ask my wife.

I don't celebrate Kwanzaa. But if you want to that's fine; just don't feel like everyone else should have to.

I believe that if you are selling me a Dairy queen shake,pack of cigarettes, or hotel room you do it in English.

As of matter of fact, if you are an American citizen you should speak English. My father and grandfather shouldn't have to die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come disrespect ours.

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word freeze or stop in English, See the previous line.

If I received a blow job from one of my subordinate employees in my office, it wouldn't be a private matter or my personal
business. I would have been FIRED immediately.

I know how to count votes and I feel much safer letting a machine with no political affiliation recount when needed.

I know what the definition of lying is.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you qualify for any special loan programs, gov't sponsored bank loans, etc., so you can you can open a hotel, c-store, trinket shop, or any damn thing else.

I thought the Taco Bell dog was funny.

I want them to bring back safe and sane fireworks.

I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne,Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang, but that doesn't mean I want to
listen to that crap from someone else's car when I'm stopped at a red light.But I respect your right to.

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster or Jack In The Box.

I don't want to eat or drink anything with the words light, Lite, or fat-free on the package.

I did not go to some foreign country and risk my life in vain and defend our constitution so that decades later you can tell me it's a living document ever changing and is open to interpretation.

I don't hate the rich.

I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake.

I've never owned or was a slave, and a large percentage or our forefathers weren't wealthy enough to own one either.

I think you can respect and admire women while mentally undressing them.

I believe a self-righteous liberal with a cause is more dangerous than a Hell's Angel with an attitude.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the "Rev." Jesse Jackson preaches; and besides what exactly is his job function.

I don't care where Ellen puts her tongue.

I own a gun, you can own a gun, and any red blooded American should be allowed to own a gun, but if you use it in a crime then you will serve the time. A rubber band and a paper clip is a dangerous weapon in the hands of someone with malicious intent.

I worry about dying before I get even.

I didn't take the initiative in inventing the Internet.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it pisses you off, invent the next operating system that's better and put your name on the building. Ask your buddy that invented the Internet to help you.

I don't believe in hate crime legislation. Even suggesting it pisses me off. You're telling me that someone who is a minority, gay, disabled, another nationality, or otherwise different from the mainstream of
this country has more value as a human being that I do as a white male. Hell, if someone kills anyone, I'd say that it's a hate crime.

I like the convenience of buying oranges from a sidewalk vendor or while I'm waiting at a stop-light, and I'm pretty sure the Latin midget selling them to me is glad she no longer lives in a refrigerator box in East LA or is sleeping in the streets of her home country.

We don't need more laws! Let's enforce the ones we already have.

I think turkey bacon, turkey beef, turkey fake anything sucks.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes a parent with the balls to stand up to the kid and spank his butt and say "NO".

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement.

I'll admit that the only movie that ever made me cry was Ole Yeller.

I didn't realize Dr. Seuss was a genius until I had a kid.

I will not be frowned upon or be looked down upon or be made to keep silent because I have these beliefs and opinions.

I thought this country allowed me that right I will not conform or compromise just to keep from hurting somebody's feelings.

I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.

Yes, I guess by their definition, I'm a bad American.


Doesn't sound like Carlin or Limbaugh.

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Ewok
The Red and the Green Stamps


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Carlin's response.
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Pogue Ma-humbug
Happy Christmas (Malls are Open)


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Doesn't sound like either. It's little more than a hate-filled, bigoted diatribe.

It's not Carlin because it's not funny.

It's certainly not Limbaugh. The language isn't his; he doesn't have children, and he didn't serve in any foreign country.

Also, despite my dislike for Limbaugh and his often fact-deprived arguments, I will say this: He is always careful not to denigrate any group of people because of their ethnicity -- unlike this piece of trash.

Pogue "Jeez, I can't believe I just defended him" Mahone

--------------------
Let's drink to the causes in your life:
Your family, your friends, the union, your wife.


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Moose
The Red and the Green Stamps


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It's definitely not Carlin. Carlin's funny.
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Jackpine Savage
The Red and the Green Stamps


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I wasted half my afternoon trying to forward the message I referred to, but I'm still fairly amateur with this machine. Yes, the one posted in a reply probably included all or most of the one I got, but mine was much shorter and included the less radical statements. I did forward the whole thing to the website. I just discovered the message board today. This is neat.
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MomBom
The Red and the Green Stamps


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Geesh EWOK, you just had to post George Carlin's site. Been sidetracked for past hour. And I just found my second favorite BBS (after snopes of course)
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Guinastasia
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:

I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne,Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang, but that doesn't mean I want to
listen to that crap from someone else's car when I'm stopped at a red light.But I respect your right to.

Can I say, I agree with this? I HATE people who blast their car radios. One of these days, I'm gonna drive down the street blasting the 1812 and employ real cannons on my car!!!!

George Carlin is cool, but Dennis Miller is even better.


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Grumpy
The Red and the Green Stamps


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Additionally, Rush Limbaugh would not use the word "tits" on the air, and probably not in print. And he does care where Ellen DeGeneres puts her tongue. Inasmuch as he partly blames her for the downfall of society.

The author of this diatribe should add a line: "And I don't like having my stuff attributed to Carlin or Limbaugh!"

--Grump "manic tongue depression" y


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Eternal
The Red and the Green Stamps


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May I submit that this rant sounds a little more like something Dennis Leary might say.

Though I can't see how this particularly racist. Maybe it's racist because it's indifferent to race?


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fenchurch
The Red and the Green Stamps


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Doing a Google search on "Bad American" comes up with a number of message board discussions that agree it sounds like Denis Leary, and a number of variations on the piece itself. These vary widely in the degree of insensitivity/sexism/racism* that they display.

*Which is not to argue that any statements are necessarily racist or sexist, just that their lack of sensitivity to the complex issues surrounding race may be well percieved as racist/sexist.


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rossdawg
The Red and the Green Stamps


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This is not Denis Leary and some of the giveaways are the lines about homeless (he calls them other things), he doesn't think tattoos and piercings are fine, "I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise"- this is obviously a reference to a younger person like a gen x or y-er. The language used is too formal for him also. I have all of his tapes and have videotapes of all of his U.S. and U.K. comedy concerts, he repeats alot of his material on several of them and none of it is this stuff. He doesn't do any comedy about computer stuff and don't see him using the phrase "operating system." He has lived most of his life in Boston and NYC, never L.A. so that orange seller line doesn't work. Besides all of that it just doesn't sound like him.

ross "John Wayne's not dead - he's frozen. And as soon as we find the cure for cancer we're gonna thaw out the duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? Have you ever taken a cold shower? Well multiple that by 15-million times, that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be" dawg


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Dan the Seeker
The Red and the Green Stamps


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I saw Carlin live a coupla years ago, and the most memorable part of his performance were the first 5 minutes while he ranted about, as I recall, abortion (I can't remember if he was for or against it). The audience was utterly quiet, accept for the occasional embarressed cough. Then he got into his routine and it was like a spell was broken; people started laughing, clapping, etc. Very strange, it was, and left a bad taste in my mouth the rest of the performance (which was very funny).

Did anyone else find it bizarre that both Carlin and Leary did those incredibly lame calling plan commercials? They might as well have been wearing T-Shirts that said "SELL OUT" on them in glowing letters...

--Danno


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Don Gato
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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quote:
Originally posted by Dan the Seeker:
Did anyone else find it bizarre that both Carlin and Leary did those incredibly lame calling plan commercials? They might as well have been wearing T-Shirts that said "SELL OUT" on them in glowing letters...

--Danno


I am convinced that there is a warm spot in the pits of hell for whoever came up with those commercials. As far as I can remember, the first commercials, which aired about eight years ago, were for 1-800-COLLECT and featured David Spade and Chris Rock. They were somewhat amusing (or maybe I just thought that because I was in college). But ever since then, they've gotten progressively worse, hitting rock bottom with those ridiculous David Arquette spots.

The thing I really don't get is the way all of the commercials are so similar. Think about it: After you've seen one of them, can you honestly remember whether it was for 1-800-COLLECT or 1-800-CALL-ATT, or for that matter, for 10-10-220 or 10-10-321? They all look exactly the same: B- or C-list celebrities doing comedy bits that aren't even remotely funny.

You'd think that eventually, someone at their ad agency would wake up and say, "Hey, these commercials suck! Why don't we try something different for a change?"

Frank


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rossdawg
The Red and the Green Stamps


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I'll go one further, the whole concept of giving cheap bastards the popularized "green light" to call collect with more regularity is disgusting in itself. For NFBSK sake, buy a NFBSKing cell phone people.
I also think the Doug Flutie commercials are more disgraceful than any others because they give the impression that most of the money from the call with go to autism research when if you read the small print it says something like 0.020 percent will actually be given to the foundation.

ross "1800cheapMFers" dawg


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Kamin
The Red and the Green Stamps


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When I hear, "It'll save the people you call a buck or two" I think the person recieving the call just says, "No, I don't accept the charges." Carlin once said in an interview (as well as I recall, I may be thinking of Dennis Miller) that the reason he did those spots for 10-10-220 is that they paid him.
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mouse goddess
We Three Blings


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I remember being a little puzzled when those commercials started coming out. "calling collect?? save a buck or two every time!!!" Every time? How often do these people call collect? I've done it maybe 5 times in my life, tops. Always when I got to some band camp or equally loser-ish activity and my parents wanted me to call home and tell them that I got there safely.

As a side note, I got the new Carlin book a couple of weeks ago, and have been mulling over which quote to use as a new signature.

--------------------
"this could increase your brain power, or it could kill you..." "Increase my killing power, ehh???"


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rob
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Sure, they all look the same. But think of it this way. Without those advertising campaigns, you'd never be able to list so many numbers. So in a way, they've gotten to you.
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IndieQueen
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I don't think this thing came from Calin, Dennis Leary or Ted Nugent (I've seen it attributed to him too) On thing that gave me a "Clue" is no use of the "F" word which Leary and Carlin are both very fond of, so's Nugent for that matter.

Could any of them write something this long withouth using a few "four letter words" in the process?

Indie


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Big J
The Red and the Green Stamps


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OK, my opinion on the piece,
Carlan/rush/nugent/leary didn't write it,
Not a gen-xer/yer either
(Why? the "disenfranchised" statement applies to the idea that some white hetro males have that they are disenfranchised--not to the apathy of my generation)

I think it's just a generic guy who cobbled together a bunch of different ideas. I see some Rush, Some Pat Buchannon, and a lot of classical xenophobic "American Nativist" in it. Oh, and a dash of anti-compassionate conservativism.

Big "the united state of me and not you" J


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