posted
*FROM SQUISHY: I read #1 and said PFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTT this is thing is crap...gotta love myspace!*
1. Guys hate sluts.
2. "Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.
3. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.
5. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
6. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.
7. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize- how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.
8. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.
9. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.
10. Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.
11. Guys get jealous easily.
12. Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think.
13. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.
14. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
15. Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.
16. Girls are guys' weaknesses.
17. Guys are very open about themselves.
18. It's good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don't let him wait too long.
19. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
20. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.
21. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
22. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.
23. Guys will brag about anything.
24. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful. If a guy uses that, he likes you.
25. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.
26. Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.
27. Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.
28. Try to be as straightforward as possible.
29. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be mature and grown up.
30. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.
31. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.
32. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.
33. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.
34. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.
35. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.
36. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."
37. Guys don't really have final decisions.
38. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.
39. If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.
40. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.
41. Guys like femininity not feebleness.
42. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
43. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
44. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.
45. Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.
46. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.
47. Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.
48. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.
49. A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.
50. No guy can handle all his problems by his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it
51. Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesnt mean he represents ALL of us.
-------------------- "Fate is like a strange, unpopular resturant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never ask for and don't always like."-Lemony Snicket Posts: 1119 | From: Bronx, NY | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
"Guys hate sluts." Of course, in guy-speak, a girl who sleeps with anyone is "easy." A slut is someone who sleeps with anyone but you
"A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to" suggests this is a list for women who want to know the truth about abusers.
Posts: 550 | From: Springboro, OH | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
I tried to come up with humorous responses but I'm sure other people will be more imaginative.
quote: 2. "Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.
Because there's no other reason to ask those questions.
quote: 3. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
...their favorite porn star or cartoon character.
quote:7. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize- how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.
Wait, I thought guys complained about being labeled "nice".
quote: 8. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.
Because it's a springboard to start controlling the rest of your social life.
quote: 15. Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.
Saving your lunch money? Are you in fourth grade?
quote: 17. Guys are very open about themselves.
"Yeah, babe, I gotta huge cock right here for ya!"
quote: 18. It's good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don't let him wait too long.
Because manipulation is always the start of a beautiful friendship.
quote: 19. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
Huh?
quote: 20. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.
I usually see this one with the genders reversed.
quote: 21. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
Because hurting someone's feelings is the ultimate sign of affection.
quote: 22. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.
My love is greater than yours! MWAHAHA! I WIN!!!!
quote: 23. Guys will brag about anything.
No, just their penis size.
quote: 24. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful. If a guy uses that, he likes you.
Translation: guys rarely like girls. (?)
quote: 25. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.
"Oh, god, why did she kick me in the balls? What did I do now?"
quote:30. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.
"Oh, shit, I'm gonna get kicked in the balls for this one..."
quote: 31. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.
Yeah, personality's great and everything, but...no, really: it's all about asses and boobs.
quote: 33. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.
I know quite a few guys who like being whipped...
quote: 34. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.
Or else he got hooked up with some primo weed.
quote: 36. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."
Because as we've all learned from these MySpace postings, no one of the opposite sex ever says what they mean.
quote:37. Guys don't really have final decisions.
WTF? I thought it was girls who couldn't make up their minds.
quote: 38. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.
"Uh, babe, I just got my tests results back from the clinic..."
quote: 40. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.
quote: 42. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
'Cause, you know, punching really hurts and stuff.
quote: 43. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
Demand a blood test.
quote: 45. Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.
Cleavage and boobs, however, can amply be advertised.
quote: 49. A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.
Girl: "This guy is a complete f*cking psycho. He should get medical attention before he bleeds to death."
-------------------- "There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen Won't somebody please think of the adults! Posts: 8254 | From: Florida | Registered: Oct 2002
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quote: 22. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.
My love is greater than yours! MWAHAHA! I WIN!!!!
On a side note did anyone actually do the laugh of this out loud? MWWAAHHHHAA! I did an arm gesture too
-------------------- "Fate is like a strange, unpopular resturant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never ask for and don't always like."-Lemony Snicket Posts: 1119 | From: Bronx, NY | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
90% of these, you could swap the genders and it would still "work" (that is, work in the cultural abyss that is Glurgedom).
--Logoboros
-------------------- "If Men were Wise, the Most arbitrary Princes could not hurt them. If they are not wise, the Freest Government is compelld to be a Tyranny."
quote:51. Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesnt mean he represents ALL of us.
Which, oddly enough, is just what I was thinkng about the author of this crud.
Did anyone else notice the extent to which the list is abouting excusing controlling, manipulative, judgemental, sleazy and exploitative behaviour? Ref specifically:
quote:1. Guys hate sluts. 3. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about. 8. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to. 11. Guys get jealous easily. 21. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you. 31. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key. 32. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience. 36. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me." 41. Guys like femininity not feebleness. 42. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do. 45. Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.
Dropbear
-------------------- " The villagers had said justice had been done, and she'd lost patience and told them to go home, then, and pray to whatever gods they believed in that it was never done to them. -- (Terry Pratchett) Posts: 823 | From: Hobart, Tasmania | Registered: Jun 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Drainfluid: I'm intrigued. What is the arm gesture?
Ok, this is a little before my time, but there was a lady entertainer on a 60's t.v. show (Dinah Shore?) who would blow a kiss with a big "MWAAA!!!" She's put her hands to her lips and would just let her arm extend in an arch, like a big reverse hug. I think it was the lady who sang the "See the U.S.A. in your Chevrolet" commercials". Who the heck was that?!
-------------------- I would prefer not to. My blog Posts: 4789 | From: Rhode Island | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Drainfluid: I'm intrigued. What is the arm gesture?
Ok, this is a little before my time, but there was a lady entertainer on a 60's t.v. show (Dinah Shore?) who would blow a kiss with a big "MWAAA!!!" She's put her hands to her lips and would just let her arm extend in an arch, like a big reverse hug. I think it was the lady who sang the "See the U.S.A. in your Chevrolet" commercials". Who the heck was that?!
Dinah Shore was the one who sang the Chevrolet song.
--
"Travel near and far in your Edsel car." -MAD Magazine
-------------------- "No matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the computer will say, 'Specify type of goat.'" Posts: 1112 | From: Ohio | Registered: Jul 2000
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posted
We do this thing when we says YESSS we make a bent arm up w/ a fist(like a boxer?) bring down to your side like trying to make a trucker blow the horn (but downwards & once) and say YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Actually I think I raised my arm like that with a fist and said MWAAAAHHHHHAAAA
Geez I need something to do today
-------------------- "Fate is like a strange, unpopular resturant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never ask for and don't always like."-Lemony Snicket Posts: 1119 | From: Bronx, NY | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
My biggest objection to this whole mess is the implication that "Guys do" well, anything.
Please, tell me, what do "guys do?" All of us. As if we were all the same, and that every action means the exact same thing every time, with every group, under every circumstance. What are we, the NFBSKing Borg?
Spooky Cactus
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales
posted
quote: 42. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
Am I insulting your masculinity? Sorry baby. Tell you what, you hold my hands behind my back and tell the chavs it's open season on the diminutive ginger goth chick, would that make you feel better?
quote: 4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.
Because all normal conversations are prerehearsed and nobody can converse normally with the other gender.
quote:8. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.
For 'guy who likes you' read 'domestic abuse waiting to happen'.
quote:10. Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.
11. Guys get jealous easily.
And if you talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend, and he gets jealous and attacks you, it's your own fault, you stupid slut!
quote:15. Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.
I what's that chalk-and-semolina scent? Oh, yesah. This was written by someone in junior school (or the American equivalent).
quote:20. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.
In fact, just don't say anything, ever.
quote:25. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.
Girls never do this, as the main characters of girly movies and novels (such as Bridget Jones) clearly show.
quote:26. Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.
Yes, guys are the Borg. I guess we'll all have to be lesbians if we want any chance of a meaningful relationship.
quote:32. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.
If there is, somewhere, an actual adult female who sincerely believes that real life love is like romance novels, I feel deeply sorry for her. I don't tend to read romance novels, but I thought the whole point of them was to be fantasies for the creatively challenged, not a stark portrayal of real-life relationships.
quote:33. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.
Because if you actually start caring about a girl, you might *gasp* listen to her and act on advice she gives!!! OMGwhipped!!!eleventyone!!1!!
quote:47. Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.
Unlike girls, who LOVE rejection and get off on being led on.
quote:8. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.
Girls appear like this to guys because they are basing their knowledge of men on a stupid internet forward.
-------------------- 'When the world is dead and gone, we will still be Rocking On!' (J.P.McCartney) Posts: 154 | From: Yorkshire, England | Registered: May 2006
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quote:7. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize- how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.
Ahhh! My favorite method of all time! Revealed for all the world to see! Noooooo!
posted
3. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
Aw, how romanitcal! Your fella thinks of only you for up to 3 whole minutes a day! And that, right before he sleeps!
7. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.
I thought it was more along the lines of the Let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-she'll-think-you're-so-wonderful-and-caring-for-listening-that-she'll-just-give-you-some method.
19. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
So does this translate as, "Your boyfriend can't be trusted, he's a dog that'll cheat on you" or as "Don't trust your best friend, she's a complete slut who's guarenteed to jump your boyfriend's bones?"
24. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful. If a guy uses that, he likes you.
When he loves you, he uses words like, "My little foopsiehead". Love can be very nauseating.
32. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.
How many guys are reading chick lit to understand romance?
39. If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.
Well, that's just great. Complicate the issue. You don't speak up all the time I've known you, and NOW you're telling me you love me?! NOW that I finally have found Mr. Right? What are you, a freakin' sadist?!
41. Guys like femininity not feebleness.
42. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
But...but...you just said in number 41...
I don't buy that. If that were true, then my brother wouldn't've been drooling over women body builder contests 15 years ago.
49. A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.
And like the ungrateful and selfish bastid he is, he'd want his left nut back afterwards.
-------------------- I would prefer not to. My blog Posts: 4789 | From: Rhode Island | Registered: Feb 2004
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How many guys are reading chick lit to understand romance?
You'd be surprised.
-------------------- "Shakespeare and Dante divide the world between them. There is no third." - T. S. Eliot Posts: 77 | From: New Milford, CT | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
"*FROM SQUISHY: I read #1 and said PFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTT this is thing is crap..."
Squishy, I agree with your original assessment. This stuff is just so much crap.
-------------------- "I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones." Doctor Who, Timewyrm: Genesys Posts: 7 | From: Allen, TX USA | Registered: Dec 2005
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-------------------- You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons. -Blazing Saddles Posts: 1074 | From: High Level, Alberta, Canada | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Northern Lite but same great taste: I think T. Byrd put it better and to be honest, it's probably closer to the truth The Truth About Men
No, it's rather pathetic and insulting...to both genders.
-------------------- "There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen Won't somebody please think of the adults! Posts: 8254 | From: Florida | Registered: Oct 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Northern Lite but same great taste: I think T. Byrd put it better and to be honest, it's probably closer to the truth The Truth About Men
No, it's rather pathetic and insulting...to both genders.
It's also tongue in cheek
-------------------- You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons. -Blazing Saddles Posts: 1074 | From: High Level, Alberta, Canada | Registered: Mar 2006
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Spooky Cactus
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales
posted
quote:Originally posted by Northern Lite but same great taste:
quote:Originally posted by Cervus:
quote:Originally posted by Northern Lite but same great taste: I think T. Byrd put it better and to be honest, it's probably closer to the truth The Truth About Men
No, it's rather pathetic and insulting...to both genders.
It's also tongue in cheek
Yet not clever or funny. Taken seriously, it's a pile of stereotyping NFBSK, and as some kind of joke it's just pathetic, unfunny and overdone.
-------------------- 'When the world is dead and gone, we will still be Rocking On!' (J.P.McCartney) Posts: 154 | From: Yorkshire, England | Registered: May 2006
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posted
I would say there are a number of things on this list that are pretty true... Not everything, but probably about 75%...
Of course, they could well be true about women too. But I think this and the girl talk one kind of highlight the facts that girls are taught to be coy and say the opposite of what they mean and boys are taught to shut down or get angry if they are upset and to never show weakness.
Posts: 411 | From: California | Registered: Nov 2005
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Wow. So, according to that song, most of the mumble-mumble men I've partnered with/dated/screwed/hung out with weren't guys.
What, exactly, were they!!!
-------------------- So many spankings! It feels so good! But at the same time, I don't care about meeting your family! - I'mNotDedalus: Posts: 3216 | From: Denver, CO | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
The song, as I have said before, was done tongue in cheek. Unlike the OP it doesn't try to take itself seriously. When I said T> Byrd did it better, that is what I meant.
No, this song is not indicative of all men or even any one man all the time. What makes it amusing to me, and to my wife, is that there are elements in it that I can see in myself. I am a nut for the power tool aisle and I prefer action flicks to dramas, though to be honest I was glued to the screen for Steel Magnolias. Most of the rest has no relevance for me. I don't hunt, I don't watch the NFL, and when I take my wife out to a fancy restaurant it's because I want to make her happy.
Maybe your men don't exhibit any of these traits. Good on ya. All I'm saying is that I prefer a song by guys poking fun at themselves as opposed to someone spewing crap that they are taking too seriously.
-------------------- You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons. -Blazing Saddles Posts: 1074 | From: High Level, Alberta, Canada | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Northern Lite but same great taste: All I'm saying is that I prefer a song by guys poking fun at themselves as opposed to someone spewing crap that they are taking too seriously.
Hey, if you prefer hackneyed stereotypes to the type of humor that requires actual thought, be my guest. You aren't alone. Most of the country is right there with you, if not most of the human population. I just find things funny that require actual thought, not the regurgitation of old, tired beliefs.
-------------------- So many spankings! It feels so good! But at the same time, I don't care about meeting your family! - I'mNotDedalus: Posts: 3216 | From: Denver, CO | Registered: Dec 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Northern Lite but same great taste: All I'm saying is that I prefer a song by guys poking fun at themselves as opposed to someone spewing crap that they are taking too seriously.
Hey, if you prefer hackneyed stereotypes to the type of humor that requires actual thought, be my guest. You aren't alone. Most of the country is right there with you, if not most of the human population. I just find things funny that require actual thought, not the regurgitation of old, tired beliefs.
What? I can't like both?
-------------------- You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons. -Blazing Saddles Posts: 1074 | From: High Level, Alberta, Canada | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:I thought it was more along the lines of the Let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-she'll-think-you're-so-wonderful-and-caring-for-listening-that-she'll-just-give-you-some method.
Everyone in this thread, revealing my secrets, it's a conspiracy!
PS - Please don't take my tongue-in-cheek comment as seriously as you all seem to be taking that song.
So I'm not the only one who had that song pop in my head while reading this thread...
*whew*
-------------------- "We're all entitled to a few eccentricities, provided they don't harm anyone, break the law, or cause a public nuisance"--James Qwilleran, The Cat Who Dropped A Bombshell(Lillian Jackson Braun) Member AAMAH Posts: 352 | From: Seneca Falls, NY | Registered: Dec 2003
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