Comment: The following email seems to be circulating in India. My guess is that it's fake. First, because of the reference to caucasians as "White People"; Second, because of the omission of the word "the" when referring to THE Human Resource Department. Indians tend to omit 'the' quite a bit in their communication. I know, I married one, although she's better at that ;-)
MICROSOFT'S MEMO TO INDIAN STAFF
This is a REAL MEMO from Microsoft HR Director in Redmond WA to its staff of the Indian Origin. Every word here is kept intact without alteration.
MEMO TO INDIAN STAFF
In view of the large numbers of Indians working in the USA, UK and many other countries with White People, it has become important for Human Resources Department to issue directives to their Indian staff.
TO ALL HINDI-SPEAKING STAFF
It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our corporate headquarters that offensive language is commonly used by our Hindi speaking staff. Such behavior, in addition to violating our policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and colleagues.
Staff will IMMEDIATELY adhere to the following rules:
1. Words like CHUTIYA, GANDU and other such ex-pressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion. You will not say CHUTIYE, AKAL NAHI HAI KYA TEREKO when someone makes a mistake or MADARCHOD, BEHANCHOD when a major mistake has been made. All forms derived from the verb CHOD are inappropriate in our environment.
2. No project manager, section head or administrator, under any circumstances will be referred to as GADHA or CHUTIYA. Lack of determination will not be referred to as KAMCHOR SAALA and neither will persons who lack initiative be referred to as BHOSADIKA or MADARCHOD.
3. Unusual or creative ideas from your superiors are not to be referred to as GAND FAADU, if a person is persistent or if a task is heavy to accomplish. In a similar way do not use GAND FATI if a colleague is going through a difficult situation.
4. Furthermore, you must not say BHOSADE MEIN GAYA when matters become complicated. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say DIMAGH KI MAA BEHAN MAT KAR. Do not ever substitute 'May I help you?' with BOL TERI GAND KAISE MARU.
5. When things get tough, an acceptable _ex-pression such as ' We are going through a difficult time' should be used, rather than MAA CHUDI PADI HAI or GOTI MUH MEIN HAI.
6. No Salary increase shall be ever referred to as KHAIRAAT BAATI JAA RAHI HAI KYA. Under no circumstances should you call our elderly corporate partners as BUDDHA KHOOSAT.
7. Last, but not least, after reading this memo, please do not say 'YE KAGAZ TOH GAND PONCHNE KE LAAYAK BHI NAHI HAI.
The memo may not be real, but the expletives are real hindi expletives, and the colloquial usage of the expletives is correct. It's probably written by an Indian
-------------------- Nico Sasha In between my father's fields;And the citadels of the rule; Lies a no-man's land which I must cross; To find my stolen jewel. Posts: 4912 | From: VA | Registered: Jul 2003
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I would say "humor" as well. I don't know why any business would write out examples of swears in a memo when they can just say "Please refrain from using curse words/coarse language (in any language), either to fellow staff members or our customers during business hours. It will not be tolerated at this establishment".
I can see this as someone either getting some work frustration off their chest, or possibly someone hoping A Dumb Guy will read it, memorize the swears, then use them when they're on tech support with someone of Indian descent. (Because that'll make things work better...?)
I can just hear the conversation.
A Dumb Guy: I can't understand you! I said my damn computer won't run! What's with your accent? You stupid GADHA! Tech Guy (gritting teeth while talking politely): I don't think you know what that word means, sir. And I'm telling you for the hundredth time, just check and make sure your computer is plugged in. A Dumb Guy: What? What?! You dang jerk, whaddaya think, I'm stupid? Ya think I don't have my... A Dumb Guy's Wife: Hey moron! When you unplugged the computer this morning to run the coffee maker, did you plug the computer back when you were done? ~~~A Dumb Guy hangs up on Tech Support~~~