posted
I'm not even sure what to make of this. For one, I find it hard to believe that Congresspeople would book their own flights, even on the off chance that they *might* be this dumb. Some of the others just sound suspect as hell, kind of like, "We think you're stupid anyway so we're going to make up stories about you to make you look even dumber as a group."
quote:Washington, DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of customer problems.
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts," Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa," Her response - click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orl ando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied,"Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!"
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map."
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time."
6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am and got to Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom? " I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!" After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (I was laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT),and the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?"
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I a sked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these Planes have numbers on them."
10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, Fl. On a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"
11. A Senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one o f those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!"
12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The reply? "Whatever! I knew it was a big animal".
Comment: Not only do these people vote, but we voted for some of them. Ain't it a shame.
posted
I'd be willing to bet that a lot of these are true (or mildly embellished) stupid customer stories that someone just decided to attribute to elected officials. After all-they're all stupid right? so they must do stuff like this.
-------------------- Conforming meant that everyone liked you except yourself Rebecca Posts: 682 | From: Jacksonville, FL | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
I've seen several variations in generic "stupid comments at airports" emails. Adding the political slant at least showed a little creativity. Not much, but a little. Posts: 296 | From: Crawfordville, Florida | Registered: Dec 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Bored and Dangerous: 5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time."
This doesn't necessarily sound unreasonable to me. DFW is HUGE. It has its own separate police force (to give speeding tickets, etc.) and zip code. If you have a connecting flight taking you from terminal A to E or vice versa, it would be darn near impossible to reach in less than an hour. Usually an airline would not book a flight with such quick connections, but I can see a congressman valuing speed above all else and doing such a thing.
Avril
-------------------- There is no failure unless one stops. --Ray Bradbury Posts: 2115 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Aug 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Bored and Dangerous: 5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time."
This doesn't necessarily sound unreasonable to me. DFW is HUGE. It has its own separate police force (to give speeding tickets, etc.) and zip code. If you have a connecting flight taking you from terminal A to E or vice versa, it would be darn near impossible to reach in less than an hour. Usually an airline would not book a flight with such quick connections, but I can see a congressman valuing speed above all else and doing such a thing.
Avril
But would it be possible to exit at one gate, pick up your car, drive to the other gate, and re-enter the airport at that gate? I've been to some very large airports, and none of them offered direct entry at gates. Even pre-9/11, access to gate areas required some security screening.
-------------------- How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black Posts: 8322 | From: Columbus, OH | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote: 3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orl ando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied,"Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!"
I wouldn't doubt that this could have happened to someone (whether a congressman or someone else).
It wasn't a phone call but I had someone argue with me one time about driving time from Orlando to Melbourne, Florida.
His contention was that Orlando was right in the middle of the state and since Florida was a thin state, there was no way any city could be an hour east or west of Orlando.
I tried to explain that yes, Florida is a relatively thin state, but it's still 150 or so miles from one side to the other. He kept arguing that from Orlando to either coast was only a few minutes.
-------------------- Every time I see a good looking woman, I think, "0oooh. There's another one I'll never have!"
Corvette. The louder you scream, the faster I'll go. Posts: 1820 | From: Memphis, TN | Registered: Sep 2005
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quote: 10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, Fl. On a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"
Reminds me of the time a neighbour got onboard a flight simulator to the moon, parked outside a local mall.
She told us later "you should take a ride on the stimulator, it was so exciting"
-------------------- On my old guitar sell tickets, so someone can finally pick it. Posts: 799 | From: Dublin, Ireland | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Bored and Dangerous: 5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time."
This doesn't necessarily sound unreasonable to me. DFW is HUGE. It has its own separate police force (to give speeding tickets, etc.) and zip code. If you have a connecting flight taking you from terminal A to E or vice versa, it would be darn near impossible to reach in less than an hour. Usually an airline would not book a flight with such quick connections, but I can see a congressman valuing speed above all else and doing such a thing.
Avril
It is unreasonable. For one thing, there is one rental car center for the airport so it would not be feasible (for that scheme to work, you'd need a car rental at your arrival gate and another to return the car to at the departure gate). It would be a lot easier to just take a cab. Plus, DFW has a train serving all terminals, for precisely these scenarios.
-------------------- "The system would also let you send your picture and contact details to a rough trade gay contact mailing list saying you like to be surprised with power tools in a non-consensual role play scenario – but that doesn’t mean you SHOULD do it.!" Posts: 298 | From: Monterrey, Mexico | Registered: May 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Bored and Dangerous: 5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time."
This doesn't necessarily sound unreasonable to me. DFW is HUGE. It has its own separate police force (to give speeding tickets, etc.) and zip code. If you have a connecting flight taking you from terminal A to E or vice versa, it would be darn near impossible to reach in less than an hour. Usually an airline would not book a flight with such quick connections, but I can see a congressman valuing speed above all else and doing such a thing.
Avril
Discounting the time required to rent the car, be transported to the car rental location or walking to the car from the terminal, driving to a different terminal to drop the car off and dropping the envelope and key in a return slot, you would make it much quicker by taking the trains or a taxi. (I have had a taxi transport me from one terminal to another at DFW once.) The trains are much quicker since you can enter them in the secured portion of the terminal and are dropped off in a different secured area so you do not have to go through security again.
Posts: 163 | From: Austin, TX | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:Originally posted by robbiev427: I wouldn't doubt that this could have happened to someone (whether a congressman or someone else).
It wasn't a phone call but I had someone argue with me one time about driving time from Orlando to Melbourne, Florida.
His contention was that Orlando was right in the middle of the state and since Florida was a thin state, there was no way any city could be an hour east or west of Orlando.
I tried to explain that yes, Florida is a relatively thin state, but it's still 150 or so miles from one side to the other. He kept arguing that from Orlando to either coast was only a few minutes.
He's also obviously never experienced the traffic on I-4 trying to go to either coast.
I also like trying to explain to people how long Florida is North/South along the peninsula and East/West along the panhandle. Jacksonville is not "Just a couple hours" from either Miami or Pensacola (both distances are about 350 miles)
Posts: 296 | From: Crawfordville, Florida | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
I guess people make these up because the reality is boring.
quote: A Congressman wanted me to put him on a flight to Los Angeles. "Do you want an aisle seat?" I asked him. "That will be fine," he said.
A federal judge was booking a flight to Orlando. "Remember, you can only take one carry-on bag and one personal item," I warned her. "I'm checking my two bags," she replied. "I'll only have my purse."
The President of the U.S. booked a flight to St. Louis. When he disembarked, he told a flight attendant, "This is the fastest bus I ever rode on!"
-------------------- "No hard feelin's and HOPpy New Year!"--Walt Kelly Hear what you're missing: ARTC podcasts! http://artcpodcast.org/ Posts: 7581 | From: Gainesville, Georgia | Registered: Jun 2000
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quote:Originally posted by Bored and Dangerous: 5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time."
This doesn't necessarily sound unreasonable to me. DFW is HUGE. It has its own separate police force (to give speeding tickets, etc.) and zip code. If you have a connecting flight taking you from terminal A to E or vice versa, it would be darn near impossible to reach in less than an hour. Usually an airline would not book a flight with such quick connections, but I can see a congressman valuing speed above all else and doing such a thing.
Avril
Discounting the time required to rent the car, be transported to the car rental location or walking to the car from the terminal, driving to a different terminal to drop the car off and dropping the envelope and key in a return slot, you would make it much quicker by taking the trains or a taxi. (I have had a taxi transport me from one terminal to another at DFW once.) The trains are much quicker since you can enter them in the secured portion of the terminal and are dropped off in a different secured area so you do not have to go through security again.
I have flown into and out of DFW dozens of times. It is feasable to drive from one terminal to another, but it is not feasable to use a rental car to do it. To get to the rental facility, you have to take a shuttle for about 15 minutes from the terminal. And you have to return the car and ride the shuttle back to the terminal. So, unless he had someone arrive early, rent the car, meet him at the gate and drive him to the other terminal, then return the rental car and catch a later flight, it couldn't work.
-------------------- One of my favorite philosophical tenets is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you. You do not change people's minds. -Frank Zappa Posts: 135 | From: Utah | Registered: Feb 2005
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quote:Originally posted by RLobinske: I also like trying to explain to people how long Florida is North/South along the peninsula and East/West along the panhandle. Jacksonville is not "Just a couple hours" from either Miami or Pensacola (both distances are about 350 miles)
I've lived in California for a little over year and I still haven't gotten used to how big this state is. I knew it it wasn't a short drive, but I was a little surprised when I realized it takes six whole hours to drive from here to Redwoods National Park. I already live in "Northern" California; it can't be that much farther north to Crescent City. But I guess it can and is.
-------------------- "Unseasonable is an odd word to begin with. It sounds like it's describing something that it's impossible to sprinkle pepper on." -- Nonny Posts: 5483 | From: Just south of Folsom Prison, CA | Registered: Jul 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Bored and Dangerous: 5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time."
This doesn't necessarily sound unreasonable to me. DFW is HUGE. It has its own separate police force (to give speeding tickets, etc.) and zip code. If you have a connecting flight taking you from terminal A to E or vice versa, it would be darn near impossible to reach in less than an hour. Usually an airline would not book a flight with such quick connections, but I can see a congressman valuing speed above all else and doing such a thing.
Avril
Anyone who has flown to or from Dallas and involved a rental car in the process is still laughing right now.
Firstly: DFW does cover a lot of geography, (it's something like three miles from one end to the other, and on both sides of the highway running down the middle). But it is not huge in the sense that I would think of huge. I live in Atlanta, so even though ATL is about half the length of DFW, it runs a lot more planes in and out, because of the way its terminals are organized. But DFW does feature a very efficient monorail to move people from one end to the other, and I remember managing to easily navigate the airport at age 14.
Secondly: The actual layout of DFW is essentially six horseshoes, three on either side of a highway going down the middle (one of the the shoes is actually just parking). The trick is that there is a seventh horseshoe hanging off of one end, and there is where all rental cars come and go, and it is only reachable by shuttle bus. SO, in order to take a rental car across the airport, you would have to leave you terminal, hop on a shuttle bus (roughly a 5 minute wait), ride the bus till you are nearly out of the airport (about 10 minutes, typically) rent the car (25 minutes) drive the car to...the rental plaza (I hope no time at all!) hop on a shuttle bus (5 minute wait, 10 minute ride) and you are at your terminal in 55 minutes, having spent money on a car you have absolutely no use for, and needing to go through security again.
Trust me, this story is every bit as funny as it sounds.
-------------------- This sentence contains two erors. Posts: 4 | From: Atlanta, GA | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?"
I don't doubt this one. When I moved to NY from HI I still had HI plates on my car. I was asked (by more than one person) "how long of a drive is it from HI to NY"
Posts: 332 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2006
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Just FYI, here is the same list on the Lots of Jokes website. However, in this case, it's titled Travel Agent Stories and makes fun of "moronic customers" rather than politicians.
Ta ra 'wan,
Ieuan "a travelling man" ab Arthur
-------------------- "I e-mail or I don't e-mail. The magic just happens" - From OP in We've Got Mail
Y Gwir Yn Erbyn Y Byd Posts: 626 | From: Toronto, Ontario | Registered: Oct 2005
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