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Author Topic: What did you say your dad does for a living?
Drama Queen Of Mars
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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You find some amazingly familiar things on MySpace bulletins. After reading the first few lines of this I knew exactly where it was going but I was pleasantly surprised by the new joke form of this UL.

quote:
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night

and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a

big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that

after dinner, she would like to go out and make love

for the first time.

* * * * * * * * *

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex

before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get

some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and

the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.

He tells the boy everything there is to know > about condoms and sex.

* * * * * * * * *

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many >

condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family

pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he

thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

* * * * * * * * *

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents >

house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm

so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

* * * * * * * * *

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table >

where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly

offers to say grace and bows his head.

* * * * * * * * *

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, >

with his head down.

* * * * * * * * *

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

* * * * * * * * *

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the

girlfriend leans over and whispers to the

boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

* * * * * * * *

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your

father was a pharmacist."

* * * * * * * * *

If you DON'T re-post this in 1 minute you will

have bad sex for life!!!


Because u opened this, u will get kissed on friday by

the person u luv!! & 2morrow will be da best day of ur life, so

DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN!!!!!! IF U BREAK IT, U WILL HAVE

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS FOR THE NEXT TEN YEARS!!!!!!!!

Repost this as ''UR 1ST KISS''

By the way, when did they start selling condomns in fmily packs? I thought those were meant to prevent families. [lol]

--------------------
WARNING: Men viewed through beer goggles may be uglier than they appear!

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diddy
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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Very old joke, I remmeber reading this one several yars ago before I returned back from college one time.

--------------------
W.W.F.S.M.D?
But this image of Bush as some sort of Snidely Whiplash tying the fair maiden to the railroad tracks is beyond the pale. - Joe Bentley

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Drama Queen Of Mars
I'm Dreaming of a White Sale


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Well, I suppose that just goes to show how behind the times I am!

--------------------
WARNING: Men viewed through beer goggles may be uglier than they appear!

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robbiev - singin' off key
Happy Xmas (Warranty Is Over)


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quote:
Originally posted by Drama Queen Of Mars:
... when did they start selling condomns in fmily packs? I thought those were meant to prevent families. [lol]

Several years ago, I bought a box of 36 condoms. Several years later, I still have 3 dozen left.

Robbiev -so I'm in a dry spell...for 38 years- 427

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Every time I see a good looking woman, I think, "0oooh. There's another one I'll never have!"

Corvette. The louder you scream, the faster I'll go.

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Jay Temple
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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My thought concerning the "family pack" was worse. Think V.C. Andrews.

--------------------
"Well, it looks we're on our own ... again."--Rev. Lovejoy

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black roses 19
Xboxing Day


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Ewwww.....

--------------------
"I find them to be in contradiction of the basic principles of YOUR MOM!!!" -We've Got Mail

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BluesScale
Deck the Malls


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I have a superstition that it is unlucky to buy more condoms than you will use in a week. The reason for this is that I always split up with my girlfiend (ok, got dumped) whenever I became confident enought to buy a 24 pack.

Probably says more about my sex life than luck though

Blues

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Drainfluid
Deck the Malls


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quote:
Originally posted by BluesScale:
I have a superstition that it is unlucky to buy more condoms than you will use in a week. The reason for this is that I always split up with my girlfiend (ok, got dumped) whenever I became confident enought to buy a 24 pack.

Probably says more about my sex life than luck though

Blues

I have exactly the same rule for the same reasons! Just as I think I am going to have tons of sex and I buy a big box of condoms, something happens to screw it all up and I sit with that box for the next year or so.
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pob14
Jingle Bell Hock


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quote:
Originally posted by BluesScale:
I have a superstition that it is unlucky to buy more condoms than you will use in a week.

So where, exactly, can you buy a tenth of a condom? [lol]

--------------------
Patrick

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BluesScale
Deck the Malls


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This year, that would have been an improvement :-)

Blues

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pob14
Jingle Bell Hock


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I meant the generic "you"; I should have said "one." No offense intended, BluesScale.

The discussion just reminded me of the old joke:

So it's the first day of Human Sexuality class, and the prof is explaining about how everyone will need to be open and honest and leave their inhibitions at the door. So he starts off with a question:
"How many of you have sex more than three times a week?"
A few hands go up.
"Two or three times a week?"
More hands.
"About once a week?"
Several hands up.
"Once a month?"
A couple of hands.
"Once a year?"
And one guy in the back leaps to his feet, stretches his hand up, and with a huge smile on his face, hollers, "Yes! YES! ME!ME!ME!"
Incredulous, the prof says, "Did you understand the question? If you only have sex once a year, why are you so happy?"
And the guy fairly screams,
"TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT!"

--------------------
Patrick

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jessboo
The First USA Noel


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quote:
Originally posted by Drama Queen Of Mars:

He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and

the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.

an hour? [Eek!] i suppose it bodes well for the girl though...!

--------------------
Join me on Lost - www.lost.eu/edcf

Do you have any wine? All of this would go a lot smoother in an altered state of reality.

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Bassist
Chess Nuts Boasting 'Round an Open Fire


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quote:
Originally posted by Drainfluid:
quote:
Originally posted by BluesScale:
I have a superstition that it is unlucky to buy more condoms than you will use in a week. The reason for this is that I always split up with my girlfiend (ok, got dumped) whenever I became confident enought to buy a 24 pack.

Probably says more about my sex life than luck though

Blues

I have exactly the same rule for the same reasons! Just as I think I am going to have tons of sex and I buy a big box of condoms, something happens to screw it all up and I sit with that box for the next year or so.
I second that motion. I bought a dozen over a year ago after hitting it off very well with my new date, then we broke up. Earlier this year I met someone new with whom I used a couple, then she went on birth control (mutual decision), then we broke up.

I'm still sitting on most of the dozen left [Frown]

--------------------
"I'm singing and deranged!"

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BluesScale
Deck the Malls


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Hang on, I am spotting a trend. You are a bassist. I am a guitarist. What instrument does DrainFluid play? This could be a musician thing.

q: What do you call a drummer with no girlfriend?
a: Homeless

Blues

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Hans Off
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by BluesScale:
I have a superstition that it is unlucky to buy more condoms than you will use in a week. The reason for this is that I always split up with my girlfiend (ok, got dumped) whenever I became confident enought to buy a 24 pack.

Probably says more about my sex life than luck though

Blues

Perhaps it's more to do with the fact that your girlfriends were used to seeing a "weeks worth" of rubbers on your bedside table until the week that you put the huge box there?

--------------------
"British English speakers point to Americans adding more syllables so that they can make even more noise without actually saying anything." Llewtrah


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me, no really
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Ha, Bassist and guitarist here, and very happily married thank you. Don't think it's about the music fellas

me

--------------------
Check out my handmade pens
Check back often because the page changes often

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Bassist
Chess Nuts Boasting 'Round an Open Fire


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quote:
Originally posted by me, no really:
Ha, Bassist and guitarist here, and very happily married thank you. Don't think it's about the music fellas

The discussion wasn't about whether someone was married, but about whether there was any NFBSKing going on [Smile]

Ok - I'll get it ... [fish]

--------------------
"I'm singing and deranged!"

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me, no really
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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I can only refer you to the word happily in my post [Big Grin]

--------------------
Check out my handmade pens
Check back often because the page changes often

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LeaflessMapleTree
The twelve shopping days 'til Christmas


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quote:
Originally posted by BluesScale:
Hang on, I am spotting a trend. You are a bassist. I am a guitarist. What instrument does DrainFluid play? This could be a musician thing.

q: What do you call a drummer with no girlfriend?
a: Homeless

Blues

WOAH WOAH WOAH! I am a drummer. I have no girlfriend. And I have a house. *drool* (Sorry, I think that's what was expected of me [Smile] )

--------------------
"For me, religion is like a rhinoceros: I don't have one, and I'd really prefer not to be trampled by yours. But it is impressive, and even beautiful, and, to be honest, the world would be slightly worse off if there weren't any."
-Silas Sparkhammer

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me, no really
We Wish You a Merry Giftmas


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Let me guess. You are one of those "drummers" that actually know what a chord is? Sorry, doesn't count if you're not a real drummer [Big Grin]

--------------------
Check out my handmade pens
Check back often because the page changes often

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LeaflessMapleTree
The twelve shopping days 'til Christmas


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I know what a chord IS...but I don't know anything else about them. I am incapable of playing any other instruments.

--------------------
"For me, religion is like a rhinoceros: I don't have one, and I'd really prefer not to be trampled by yours. But it is impressive, and even beautiful, and, to be honest, the world would be slightly worse off if there weren't any."
-Silas Sparkhammer

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Malruhn
The "Was on Sale" Song


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*pssssst*!! MapleLeaf, a "chord" really has nothing to do with how they tie that damned guitar around their neck... nor does it have anything to do with measuring wood.

And if you can hit the O.N./O.F.F. button, you can play a radio.

--------------------
Opinions aren't excuses to remain ignorant about subjects, nor are they excuses to never examine one's beliefs & prejudices...

Babies are like tattoos. You see other peoples' & they're cool, but yours is never as good & you can't get rid of it.

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LeaflessMapleTree
The twelve shopping days 'til Christmas


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quote:
*pssssst*!! MapleLeaf, a "chord" really has nothing to do with how they tie that damned guitar around their neck... nor does it have anything to do with measuring wood.
Ouch.

--------------------
"For me, religion is like a rhinoceros: I don't have one, and I'd really prefer not to be trampled by yours. But it is impressive, and even beautiful, and, to be honest, the world would be slightly worse off if there weren't any."
-Silas Sparkhammer

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black roses 19
Xboxing Day


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[lol]

Well I also play both guitar AND bass (play one, you can play the other) and I've never had a problem. However, I'm not the one buying condoms, so I really can't jinx myself.

I suppose being a girl puts a damper on the whole thing?

--------------------
"I find them to be in contradiction of the basic principles of YOUR MOM!!!" -We've Got Mail

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LeaflessMapleTree
The twelve shopping days 'til Christmas


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Huh? Where did buying condoms come in to whether or not drummers know what chords are?

--------------------
"For me, religion is like a rhinoceros: I don't have one, and I'd really prefer not to be trampled by yours. But it is impressive, and even beautiful, and, to be honest, the world would be slightly worse off if there weren't any."
-Silas Sparkhammer

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black roses 19
Xboxing Day


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I was behind the times. Before the whole "chords; drummer" thing, the conversation about being a musician means you can't get laid was going on. Previously, it was the conversation that if you buy more condoms than you need, you won't use them.

I was stating that I'm a musician (guitar player/bass player) but can still get laid.

I was also stating, however, that I DON'T buy condoms, so I don't run into that problem.

If that still doesn't make sense, forgive me. I wrote the first one at about 4 AM yesterday and I'm writing this one at 4 AM today.

I may not be coherent.

--------------------
"I find them to be in contradiction of the basic principles of YOUR MOM!!!" -We've Got Mail

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LeaflessMapleTree
The twelve shopping days 'til Christmas


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I really think that most musicians that have talent can get laid...the trick is getting famous first [Smile]

--------------------
"For me, religion is like a rhinoceros: I don't have one, and I'd really prefer not to be trampled by yours. But it is impressive, and even beautiful, and, to be honest, the world would be slightly worse off if there weren't any."
-Silas Sparkhammer

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candycane from strangers
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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From what I've seen musicians can get laid without being famous or talented. I actually had this conversation with a friend about a guy she met:

Her: He plays bass in a local band, isn't that hot?
Me: Is he any good?
Her: I dunno, I've never heard them. Isn't that hot though?

[lol]

--------------------
Me: "He's 19? Uh oh, I bought him a beer."
A: "You contributed to the deliquency of a minor in drag!"
"Sweet spell check: keeping drunks off the radar since 1995."- IND
God Re-Animate Green Pork Bush

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James D
Deck the Malls


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My pa?

He's a pianist and a thespian.

Why do you ask?

--------------------
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
Arthur C. Clarke (1917 - )

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ojrocks
Jealous Mirugai


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THis reminded me of Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigalo. His girlfriend finds out that his dad is a bathroom attendant, and she says something, trying to comfort him, along the lines of, "Oh that's nothing, you know what my dad does? He's an Aero-Physicist!" Then looks funny for a moment.
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