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Author Topic: Send a telegram to the dead
snopes
Return! Return! Return!


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http://www.afterlifetelegrams.com
Posts: 36029 | From: Admin | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a moderator
Supercroc
The Red and the Green Stamps


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Old fashioned grade-A bullplop.
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Homer
The Red and the Green Stamps


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Wow!! All I have to do is give you money and you promise that someone who is dying will deliver it to a dead loved on!! Do you get to make sure the messanger really dies? What if they keep delaying, can you help them along? What if you think your dear old aunt went to heaven, can you be sure the messanger is going there? For that matter, what if you hope someone is in hell, can you get a messanger to make sure that they go to hell? What if there are different heavens for different religions, do they match it up?
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Double Latte
Happy Holly Days


Icon 604 posted      Profile for Double Latte   E-mail Double Latte   Send new private message       Edit/Delete post   Reply with quote 
This is a riot! I love the FAQ's at this site.

quote:
Example:

How can you guarantee that the telegram will get through after the messenger has passed on?

We Can't...The truth is no one knows what happens when someone dies.
All that we can guarantee is this:
1) The messengers have memorized their telegrams before passing on.
2) The messengers have promised to do what can be done to deliver their telegrams to the addressees after passing.

Here is a list of reasons why, despite our best efforts, your telegram might not get through:
- Reincarnation could cause a problem. By the time the telegram can reach the addressee, he could already be back on earth.
- The afterlife could be so chaotic and confusing that it might be impossible to find a specific person.
- We can not rule out the possibility that there could be no afterlife at all.
- Maybe there are no "directories", or any other way to find people in the afterlife.
- The addressee might have changed his name.
- If the afterlife is segregated into heaven, hell and purgatory - it is possible that the messenger will not be sent to the same place as the addressee.
- It's possible that people do not retain memories of their past lives.
- Maybe the addressee does not wish to be disturbed and has the means to keep the messenger from speaking to him.
- It also might be against the "rules" in the afterlife to seek out people you don't know.
- Maybe people who die in Illinois are sent to a different section of the afterlife than people who die in Alaska. (As is the case in the interactive game called "Grim Fandango".)
- It could be that the addressee is a ghost on earth or has moved to a different plane of existence and can't be reached.
- The addressee may have evolved into a higher state of being and can no longer communicate with the messenger.
Here is a list of reasons why sending a telegram may be entirely unnecessary:
- Perhaps the addressee already knows the information in the telegram because he has been watching over you.
- Maybe the addressee receives messages every time you think of him or pray to him.
- It could also be that the addressee is now omnipotent and knows everything anyway.
Please keep all of this in mind when deciding whether or not to use our service.

Messenger: "Excuse me, St. Peter, but can you help me deliver an import message to someone?"

"Hey, no spamming in heaven. That's only allowed in that other place!"

Messenger: "Well, how about you Michael? Will you help me find Courtney's great Aunt Agnes to let her know her cat had kittens"

"I'm sorry, Agnes has Courtney on her 'ignore list'"

[Big Grin]

--------------------
"Senility Prayer"
God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do
And the eyesight to tell the difference.

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PinkMartini, shaken and stirred
The Red and the Green Stamps


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Would John Edward go to court to block this service? [Big Grin]
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