posted
Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner?
Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 911? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
posted
How do you know he's an Islamic terrorist? Is he wearing an "I'm an Islamic Terrorist" t-shirt?
And why would a Democrat be an expert shot carrying a Glock? I suppose you can be both an expert shot and a Democrat, but if you're wandering down the streets with a freakin' Glock, I think you have to turn your Democrat card in.
June
-------------------- Metaphors be with you! Posts: 364 | From: Washington | Registered: Mar 2002
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quote:email drivel posted by snopes: Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner?
Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 911? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
Most of the Republicans on this board refrain from calling y'all "ignorant" when you make wisecrack after wisecrack about how evil Republicans are, what a moron Bush is, etc. What's the matter... happy to dish it out but not take a little good-natured ribbing back?
-------------------- High on the wind, the Highland drums begin to roll, and something from the past just comes and stares into my soul... --Mark Knopfler Posts: 3402 | From: New Bern, NC | Registered: May 2004
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It's a joke. Sheesh. And being a southerner, I think it's pretty damn funny.
-------------------- I looked at my sleeping husband and longed to plunge my elbow through his peaceful face. ~ Annissa Posts: 381 | From: Nashville | Registered: Mar 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Flaming June: How do you know he's an Islamic terrorist? Is he wearing an "I'm an Islamic Terrorist" t-shirt?
And why would a Democrat be an expert shot carrying a Glock? I suppose you can be both an expert shot and a Democrat, but if you're wandering down the streets with a freakin' Glock, I think you have to turn your Democrat card in.
June
I find the grip on Glocks to be too chunky for my diminutive hands.
I am a Colt girl, myself.
-------------------- "When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."--George Bernard Shaw Posts: 19266 | From: Nashville, TN | Registered: Jun 2002
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quote:Originally posted by AnglRdr: I find the grip on Glocks to be too chunky for my diminutive hands.
I am a Colt girl, myself.
May I have this for my sig line file, please?
-------------------- How homophobic do you have to be to have penguin gaydar? - Lewis Black Posts: 8322 | From: Columbus, OH | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
maybe the Demo can give him a "Give Peace a Chance" sticker
-------------------- Education... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading. G. M. Trevelyan (1876 - 1962), English Social History (1942) Posts: 1443 | From: Portland, OR | Registered: Jun 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Flaming June: And why would a Democrat be an expert shot carrying a Glock? I suppose you can be both an expert shot and a Democrat, but if you're wandering down the streets with a freakin' Glock, I think you have to turn your Democrat card in.
Well, my DH is an expert shot and a registered Democrat. And, on top of that, he always carries a Glock because he is a Glock. (A common nickname among his Air Force buddies. It's a shortened version of our last name.) How's that for confusing?
-------------------- When other little girls were dreaming of being ballet dancers, I kind of wanted to be a vampire. Posts: 185 | From: Stuttgart, Germany | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by meanjelly: maybe the Demo can give him a "Give Peace a Chance" sticker
Considering that, as of this moment, the only relative of a member of congress to die in Iraq is the nephew of a Democrat I really would love to know why this assumption gets made so often. Democrats do serve their country in the military - maybe it's just that they do it quietly. Not nearly as much room for humour in that I guess.
-------------------- If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation. - Jean Kerr Posts: 18428 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Nov 2001
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posted
There is a cherished myth among certain conservatives that Democrats and other liberals are pacifists. And even if a Democrat did serve in the military, he really didn't mean it. Witness how many people believed the lies about John Kerry's medals.
-------------------- Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico Posts: 287 | From: Mystic, CT | Registered: Jul 2006
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quote:Originally posted by AnglRdr: I find the grip on Glocks to be too chunky for my diminutive hands.
I am a Colt girl, myself.
May I have this for my sig line file, please?
Of course you can!
-------------------- "When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."--George Bernard Shaw Posts: 19266 | From: Nashville, TN | Registered: Jun 2002
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quote:Originally posted by Norton II: There is a cherished myth among certain conservatives that Democrats and other liberals are pacifists. And even if a Democrat did serve in the military, he really didn't mean it. Witness how many people believed the lies about John Kerry's medals.
Gonna be hard convincing all the Democrats in my family currently in the military that they really don't mean it... heh.
-------------------- This has been yet another... USELESS POST. Posts: 6105 | From: Mississippi | Registered: Sep 2001
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posted
This seems like a case where the voting record attracts extremists: The Republican party isn't made of up of racists, and the Democratic party isn't made up of pacifists or anti-gun folk. Nevertheless, racists undoubtedly prefer Republicans, and pacifists undoubtedly prefer Democrats. (Actually, I don't have to say "undoubtedly" about R's and racists. In 1980, a Klan spokesman said that a speech by then-candidate Reagan sounded like it could have been written by a member of his organization.)
-------------------- "Well, it looks we're on our own ... again."--Rev. Lovejoy Posts: 3572 | From: St. Louis, MO | Registered: Sep 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Norton II: I'm reminded of the story about the Sikh in New Mexico who was killed shortly after 9/11 because he wore a turban. Them ragheads is all alike.
In fact it was four miles from where I was living at the time.
-------------------- “Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.” -- Edward R. Murrow
quote:Originally posted by Bubby: QUit bashing the letter people...
I'm a conservative, and I thoughtr it was hilarious!
Which "people" are you referring to?
-------------------- "When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty."--George Bernard Shaw Posts: 19266 | From: Nashville, TN | Registered: Jun 2002
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quote:You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a Klansman (aka Domestic Terrorist) with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Jesus, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
Democrat:
BANG.
Republican: Gee, this poor fellow only has a knife. I bet those darn liberals took his gun away from him. I know, I'll give him some tax cuts so he can afford to buy a new gun.
Southerner.
Hey there, Billy-Bob...
-------------------- The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. Arthur C. Clarke (1917 - ) Posts: 244 | From: Ventura, CA | Registered: Sep 2005
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Sara at home
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV
posted
quote:Originally posted by James D: A sligt variation...
quote:You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a Klansman (aka Domestic Terrorist) with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Jesus, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
Democrat:
BANG.
Republican: Gee, this poor fellow only has a knife. I bet those darn liberals took his gun away from him. I know, I'll give him some tax cuts so he can afford to buy a new gun.
Southerner.
Hey there, Billy-Bob...
Now, that's funny.
-------------------- Assume that all my posts will be edited at least once. Dyslexic -- can't spell, can't type, can't proofread. Posts: 8317 | From: Reading, PA | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
I imagine a non-lethal shot never occurred to anybody?
-------------------- I like to go down to the playground and watch the kids run and jump and scream, because they don't know I'm only using blanks. Posts: 942 | From: Illinois | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
Having known a few cops and my dad being a sheriff deputy I've known everyone of them to say that if you are going to be shooting someone the situation better be dire enough that you have to shoot to kill. Anything else means you acted to rashly. Because it's a lot harder to shoot to disable than it is to shoot to kill.
-------------------- BASHIR: It's not your fault things are the way they are.
posted
I find the op much funnier when it's followed by James D.'s version. And I agree with Jayguar's opinions on racists and pacifists and the two parties.
I also have to add that my husband served in the Army, carries a Glock, is a very good shot, and would not hesitate to kill in order to protect his family. And he is not going to turn in his Democrat card. I would also kill to protect my family, but I would probably miss.
quote:How do you know he's an Islamic terrorist? Is he wearing an "I'm an Islamic Terrorist" t-shirt?
Did you miss the part where he praised Allah before charging with a knife? I suppose, however, that it's possible he could be an "Islamic murderer" instead of an "Islamic terrorist."
Posts: 13 | From: Jackson, MO | Registered: Aug 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Jayguar Temple: This seems like a case where the voting record attracts extremists: The Republican party isn't made of up of racists, and the Democratic party isn't made up of pacifists or anti-gun folk. Nevertheless, racists undoubtedly prefer Republicans, and pacifists undoubtedly prefer Democrats. (Actually, I don't have to say "undoubtedly" about R's and racists. In 1980, a Klan spokesman said that a speech by then-candidate Reagan sounded like it could have been written by a member of his organization.)
Yeah, but Reagan was never a member of the Klan, unlike Robert Byrd.
Posts: 21 | From: Tucson, AZ | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
Ah yes, mention the Republicans and the Klan and some conservative will bring up Robert Byrd. Why don't the conservatives ever talk about David Duke? This man was Imperial Wizard of the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan and founded the National Association for the Advancement of White People (NAAWP). He ran for several offices and was elected to the Louisiana state legislature as a Republican.
-------------------- Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico Posts: 287 | From: Mystic, CT | Registered: Jul 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Norton II: Ah yes, mention the Republicans and the Klan and some conservative will bring up Robert Byrd. Why don't the conservatives ever talk about David Duke? This man was Imperial Wizard of the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan and founded the National Association for the Advancement of White People (NAAWP). He ran for several offices and was elected to the Louisiana state legislature as a Republican.
Fine. Duke was elected to a state office, not federal. Plus, he was repudiated by the Republican party. The Democrats never did that to Byrd.
And not a snarky question, but why did you assume that I was a conservative?
Posts: 21 | From: Tucson, AZ | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
Duke was elected as a Republican. Also, when he last ran for elective office, even after he had been "repudiated" by the Republican party, he still ran as a Republican.
Sorry if I mislabeled you as a conservative. It's mainly the conservatives who bring up Byrd whenever anyone mentions the Republicans and the KKK in the same breath. If you indulge in behavior I associate with conservatives, then I get the impression that you're a conservative.
-------------------- Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico Posts: 287 | From: Mystic, CT | Registered: Jul 2006
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