posted
This has probably appeared in various forms elsewhere, but I thought it was pretty funny:
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Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Wisconsin is planning to do its own, entitled "Survivor - Wisconsin Style."
The contestants will start in Milwaukee, travel up to Sheboygan and on to Manitowoc and Green Bay. Then they will head over to Wausau and up to Rhinelander and Minocqua. From there they will proceed up to Ashland and Superior, then back down through Rice Lake, Eau Claire and all the way down to Madison and back over to Milwaukee.
Each contestant will be driving a pink Volvo with Illinois license plates and a large bumper sticker that reads:
"I'm gay. I'm a vegetarian. Bratwurst clogs your arteries. The Green Bay Packers suck. Go Bears! Cheese is high in cholesterol. Hillary in 2008. Deer hunting is murder and I'm here to confiscate your guns!"
The first one that makes it back to Milwaukee alive wins.
-------------------- "I have a cunning plan" Posts: 287 | From: Bloomington, IN | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
I saw one like that for driving through Texas too, although of course the sports allusions were different.
-------------------- Another lifetime I'd have fallen in love with you Swept away by my feelings, ashamed and confused But just now it's enough to be walking with you Let the mystery play as it will! -Lui Collins Posts: 2669 | From: Jouy en Josas, France | Registered: May 2005
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CBC-TV is developing a Canadian version of the popular "Survivor" show. The rules are simple. Each contestant must travel to Alberta. Once there, they must go from Edmonton to Fort McMurray, through Grande Prairie, Peace River, Hinton,Edson, Jasper, Banff, Red Deer, Calgary, Lethbridge, Medicine Hat, Brooks,Drumheller, Lloydminster and back to Edmonton again. They must drive a Hyundai with a bumper sticker that reads: "I VOTED FOR CHRETIEN. I'M GAY AND I'M HERE TO TAKE YOUR GUNS. I ONLY SPEAK FRENCH AND I'M VOTING FOR KYOTO."
-------------------- Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale. A tale of a fateful trip ... Posts: 22 | From: Alberta, Canada | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
I notice they completely ignore the whole Oshkosh, Fond du Lac, Neena-Menasha, Appleton area. The population of pink Volvos must be too high there.
-------------------- Ad astra per asparagus. Posts: 4806 | From: Groton, CT | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
I would think a gay person with a pink Volvo wouldn't be that out of place in Madison. That city is like the San Fransisco of the midwest.
Posts: 439 | From: Redondo Beach, CA | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
Plus, WI is a blus state. No one would probably care too much about the "Hillary in 2008" part.
--NewZer0
-------------------- I study medieval literature because that's where the money is. Posts: 1431 | From: Corvallis, OR | Registered: Jun 2004
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quote:Originally posted by Senior: I notice they completely ignore the whole Oshkosh, Fond du Lac, Neena-Menasha, Appleton area. The population of pink Volvos must be too high there.
posted
Wisconsin is mostly liberal...we have two Democratic Senators (one who has long been suspected of being a closeted homosexual), we've had Socialist mayors, we have a lesbian congressional representative, a Democrat as our current Governor, and (as someone already pointed out) Madison is about the most liberal place you could possibly find between the coasts.
The pink volvo would just make people think you're a successful Mary Kay salseperson.
Stating your a vegetarian wouldn't cause much concern. Wisconsin is a HUGE producer of soybeans, and greatly appreciates the business from vegetarians near and far.
Minoqua/Rhinelander region is no stranger to Illinois license plates. I'd venture to guess that 50% of the summer homes up north are owned by residents of Illinois.
The "Packers Suck" bumper sticker, though, would indeed cause your vehicle to spontaneously erupt into flames.
-------------------- "The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." - G.K. Chesterton Posts: 1514 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005
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-------------------- "The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." - G.K. Chesterton Posts: 1514 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005
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posted
As a former resident of Wisconsin whose family mostly still lives there, I would have to agree with Methuselah. Wisconsin is pretty liberal; it is home to Russ Feingold and is one of only 10 or so states that hasn't passed a Defense of Marriage act (though I believe this is coming up for vote soon...Methuselah?).
The Packers slam would work, though. And I do like the idea of the Illinois plates (I seem to recall seeing a billboard in Madison once advertising a service that was "faster than an Illinois tourist").
When I saw the topic, I immediately thought of being sent to Wisconsin without a coat, boots, or a snow shovel.
Edited because I failed to notice that there was an anti-cheese bumper sticker mentioned in the OP. And again for spelling.
Ariadne, the vegetarian, pro-choice, atheist, gay-friendly, Wisconsin native who doesn't drink milk (but adores cheese).
-------------------- saxea ut effigies bacchantis prospicit eheu | prospicit et magnis curarum fluctuat undis -Catullus Posts: 435 | From: Iowa | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
Look at my link. 10,000 vote difference between Kerry and Bush (50% Kerry, 49% Bush). Of the seats in the house 50% went to Republicans. Maybe your part is liberal, but the state is split down the middle.
posted
Considering Wisconsin was the first state to make it illegal to discriminate on basis of sexual orientation (1982), I doubt the "I'm gay" part would raise an eyebrow.
The deer hunting part might get you booed but most people are used to PETA showing up in Wisconsin at deer hunting time and protesting. IIRC they have hit not only Madison but also Wausau.
-------------------- "I have never in my life been more disappointed by a politician I voted for than I have been with George Bush. He is a total liberal."- overheard by me on the shuttle to the U of A game on Nov. 11th. Posts: 3878 | From: Tucson, AZ | Registered: Jan 2001
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posted
I live on the border. I see Illinois plates daily. There are people who live in Illinois yet have their kids in the Wisconsin school.
The Packer/cheese slam would get you before the deer hunting thing, I would think. I have a friend who is a rabid Packer fan and an avid deer hunter (he bow hunts and then gun hunts). He'd defend his beloved Pack before he'd say anything about me slamming deer hunting.
Of course, I get venison from him without any effort on my part, so I don't slam his deer hunting traditions.
-------------------- "Is it ME? Am I a MAGNET for these idiots?"~Pearl Forrester MST3K Die-Hard Engineers, Big Red One my Dad's website "Must be a 'snopes' thing..." ~my entire family when I try to explain something. Posts: 4524 | From: South of Madison, Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005
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quote:Originally posted by BeachLife: Look at my link. 10,000 vote difference between Kerry and Bush (50% Kerry, 49% Bush). Of the seats in the house 50% went to Republicans. Maybe your part is liberal, but the state is split down the middle.
It's those damn people in Beloit and Racine who spoil it for the rest of Wisconsin.
-------------------- Ad astra per asparagus. Posts: 4806 | From: Groton, CT | Registered: Jul 2005
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quote:Originally posted by BeachLife: Look at my link. 10,000 vote difference between Kerry and Bush (50% Kerry, 49% Bush). Of the seats in the house 50% went to Republicans. Maybe your part is liberal, but the state is split down the middle.
I did look at the link, and it showed that more than 50% of the State supported liberal candidates. We have more liberal representation than conservative representation in government. And the liberal representatives from Wisconsin are generally regarded as 'very liberal'. Hence...Wisconsin is "mostly liberal".
quote:Originally posted by Ariadne Wisconsin is pretty liberal; it is home to Russ Feingold and is one of only 10 or so states that hasn't passed a Defense of Marriage act (though I believe this is coming up for vote soon...Methuselah?).
Sadly, an amendment to disallow gay marriages and any form of civil union is on the ballot for November. Specifically, the amendment reads:
quote:“Only a marriage between one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in this state. A legal status identical or substantially similar to that of marriage for unmarried individuals shall not be valid or recognized in this state.”
Of course, the most dangerous part of this is that it could nullify any and all legal contracts outside of marriage (such as custody agreements between non-married partners, powers of attorney, wills, etc). And not just for same sex couples.
There was a lively, although not all that educated, discussion about it here. I'd like to think that the people of this state are smart enough to recognize this for what it is and vote it down, but I don't take anything like that for granted anymore.
-------------------- "The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." - G.K. Chesterton Posts: 1514 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Senior: It's those damn people in Beloit and Racine who spoil it for the rest of Wisconsin.
Actually, it's the damn people from Waukesha...
-------------------- "The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." - G.K. Chesterton Posts: 1514 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Senior: It's those damn people in Beloit and Racine who spoil it for the rest of Wisconsin.
Actually, it's the damn people from Waukesha...
I wouldn't count out Northern Wisconsin, either, including Wausau & Merrill.
-------------------- "I have never in my life been more disappointed by a politician I voted for than I have been with George Bush. He is a total liberal."- overheard by me on the shuttle to the U of A game on Nov. 11th. Posts: 3878 | From: Tucson, AZ | Registered: Jan 2001
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posted
Oh cripes...doncha know it's Cudahy that'll cause all da problems, hey? Don't be talkin' 'bout stopping the deer hunting or nuttin' or saying anyting bad about St. Brett and da mighty Pack. Cripes hey.
Oh ya, just hangin' here in Milwaukee ya know.
Daph
-------------------- Life is simple. People make it less so. Posts: 55 | From: Midwest | Registered: Apr 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Daphodil: Oh cripes...doncha know it's Cudahy that'll cause all da problems, hey? Don't be talkin' 'bout stopping the deer hunting or nuttin' or saying anyting bad about St. Brett and da mighty Pack. Cripes hey.
Oh ya, just hangin' here in Milwaukee ya know.
Daph
Ya, ain'a hey?
-------------------- "The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." - G.K. Chesterton Posts: 1514 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005
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-------------------- "The large print givith, and the small print taketh away" -- Tom Waits, Step Right Up
"The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad." -- Salvador Dali Posts: 2443 | From: Illinois | Registered: Feb 2000
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quote:Originally posted by l'Agent IXE-13: How about none other than Wisconsin Dells, for that matter?
Holy. Nfbskin'. Crap.
Not to sound elderly or anything, but when I went there as a kid in the 70's, it was practically a glorified pond/lake with the Ducks truck/boat for excitement. When the fudge did the Dells become Disneyland Midwest?
-------------------- I would prefer not to. My blog Posts: 4789 | From: Rhode Island | Registered: Feb 2004
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I grew up in the Dells. I left in 1985, which is about when the changeover started. Waterparks and casinos baby!!!
My folks still live there. Unfortunately, I have to visit once in a while, but I never allow them to talk me into a ride on "the strip" to see what is new. Posts: 544 | From: Onalaska, WI | Registered: Nov 2005
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quote:Originally posted by TrishDaDish: When the fudge did the Dells become Disneyland Midwest?
Clearly all that lovely nature was gettin' in the way of ol' fashioned family fun. What good is a pristine river with truly unique and wonderous rock formations and wildlife compared to 92 exciting holes of miniature golf and a couple dozen go-kart tracks?
(Having spent my childhood vacations in the Dells in the 70's, I too am shocked, and a bit depressed everytime I go through there now)
-------------------- "The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." - G.K. Chesterton Posts: 1514 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: May 2005
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