Now, I imagine this website was a joke. But is copulation with dolphins, indeeed any aquatic mammal, a real phenomenon? I also heard a rumor that lonely sailors have been known to "rape" manatees.
Posts: 36029 | From: Admin | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
The article was written in a somewhat convincing manner and was generally a "how-to" guide for sex with dolphins. It would be hard to ascertain how widespread this phenomenon is, as the only hard data you could go on would tell how many people got caught (arrested, really) for such an act. Other than that, one would only have anecdotal evidence from which to draw, which could really go either way... Anyhow, I'll try to find the article as it was originally written.
ETA: Here is the original article, I believe. The page is safe for work, has no images, although the text is certainly NFBSK.
And this is someone's erotic story on the subject of dolphin sex. So, there's at least one person who's interested in the idea, and he or she figures that others want to read about it.
Posts: 70 | From: Seattle (and sometimes Tacoma), WA | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
If I'm not mistaken, dolphins are protected, and there are rules about not being able to approach them. (I know there are places where you can pay to swim with dolphins, but I'm pretty sure they'd boot your ass out pretty quick if they caught you trying to have sex with one.)
Also, as a sort of OT-aside, a few years back there was a guy in Florida who had an alligator for a girlfriend. The court ruled that there is no law which allows one to have sex with an endangered species.
Ali "gatorbait" Baba
Posts: 3068 | From: Kensington, MD | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged |
damsa
The Red and the Green Stamps
posted
quote:Originally posted by AliBaba: If I'm not mistaken, dolphins are protected, and there are rules about not being able to approach them. (I know there are places where you can pay to swim with dolphins, but I'm pretty sure they'd boot your ass out pretty quick if they caught you trying to have sex with one.)
Also, as a sort of OT-aside, a few years back there was a guy in Florida who had an alligator for a girlfriend. The court ruled that there is no law which allows one to have sex with an endangered species.
Ali "gatorbait" Baba
Don't dolphins try to have sex with you when you are swimming with them. Or was that episode of King of the Hill, totally off.
IP: Logged |
quote: Also, as a sort of OT-aside, a few years back there was a guy in Florida who had an alligator for a girlfriend. The court ruled that there is no law which allows one to have sex with an endangered species.
-------------------- Mr. Sagan did not go too fars, If you just took the time to scan its, You'd count billions and billions of stars, And billions and billions of planets. Posts: 332 | From: Kansas City, MO | Registered: Jan 2004
| IP: Logged |
Nuts. Can't find a link to the original story - I'll search the Miami Herald when I can. In the mean time, from the Carl Hiaasen on 60 Minutes, here's this quote talking about it (FWIW):
quote: "The court had ruled it 'Gators In Bed is Bad Idea,'" says Hiaasen, referring to one clipping. "This was a story about a guy who was sleeping with two full-grown alligators. And a court ruled that he had no constitutional right to sleep with an endangered reptile. And that happened in Florida."
"Was he sleeping with them?" asks Kroft. "Yes," says Hiaasen.
Ali "you can't make this stuff up" Baba
Posts: 3068 | From: Kensington, MD | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged |
Gators have a cloaca, which contains their privates and their anus. To determine the sex of a gator, you stick your finger into it and feel for a member.
It's hard enough sticking your finger in there, I can't imagine sticking anything ELSE in there.
Any idea what year this may have taken place?
-------------------- Mr. Sagan did not go too fars, If you just took the time to scan its, You'd count billions and billions of stars, And billions and billions of planets. Posts: 332 | From: Kansas City, MO | Registered: Jan 2004
| IP: Logged |
Let's see, I first heard about this when Hiaasen came through town promoting Basket Case, which was 2002, if I recall correctly.
Sorry I haven't been able to find a link - will keep searching.
As astonishing as this may sound, being Florida...I don't doubt it. And while I was watching the 60 Minutes interview, Hiaasen did hold up the clipping. Wish I'd gotten a better look at it.
Ali "later, gator" Baba
Posts: 3068 | From: Kensington, MD | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Like Ali, I can’t find the original Miami Herald article, but here’s the clipping Hiassen was apparently referring to:
quote:[From the New York Times’s Information Bank Abstracts]
MIAMI HERALD October 31, 1991, Thursday
SECTION: Section D; Page 1, Column 2 HEADLINE: COURT: GATORS IN BED IS BAD IDEA BYLINE: BY GEOFFREY TOMB ABSTRACT: Article traces background of Florida's law prohibiting citizens from keeping alligators as pets; case of John M Butler detailed (S)
Was Mr. Butler into alligator sex, though?
Elsewhere, Hiassen is reported to have given this version of the story,
quote:Unfortunately for novelists, real life is getting way too funny and far-fetched. It's especially true in Miami, where the daily news seems to be scripted by David Lynch. Fact is routinely more fantastic than fiction.
Consider the fellow who was found with an adult alligator in his bed, and numerous tooth-sized wounds on his torso. Over the punctured man's protests, game wardens whisked the befuddled reptile to safety.
Naturally a lawsuit and protracted custody battle followed. After two years an appellate court finally decided in favor of the gator and against his smitten captor. Although I've saved the newspaper clipping ("Court: Gators in bed is bad idea"), I doubt I'll ever use the story in a novel. It cannot be improved upon.
Source: Carl Hiaasen, novelist and Miami Herald columnist
Here’s a short version as apparently reprinted in a Colorado newspaper,
quote:Owner loses pet alligators
After two rulings in his favor by lower courts, John M. Butler of Miami, FL, has lost an appeals court case, effectively denying him the ability to keep two 4-foot alligators as pets. Mr. Butler had applied for a state permit in November 1989, but game officers denied the request after checking out his mobile home in suburban Miami. The decision of the Third District Court of appeals read, "When the officers arrived they found both alligators in the respondent's bed." Mr. Butler was bleeding from gator bites at the time. The assistant state's attorney noted, "This put these officers on notice that something was not right there." Game officers confiscated the alligators and cited Butler who sued, arguing his property had been taken without a hearing. [The Grand Junction, CO, Daily Sentinel, November 1, 1991, contributed by Larry Valentine]
A four feet gator would be an extremely small adult.
Also, I just couldn't swallow that a court would make any sort of ruling about "endangered animals" concerning gators, since they haven't been endangered for many years.
I think Florida even has an pest/cull policy about alligators, if a gator is fished out of someone's pool or found in someone's garage or whatever, the animals are destroyed unless they're under a certain length (I want to say it's 3 feet, it might be four).
-------------------- Mr. Sagan did not go too fars, If you just took the time to scan its, You'd count billions and billions of stars, And billions and billions of planets. Posts: 332 | From: Kansas City, MO | Registered: Jan 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Gators are also protected under a "similarity of appearance" law so that people don't try to trade/kill endangered saltwater crocs and pass them off as gators. Alligators are no longer endangered but they are still protected under several CITES laws.
-------------------- "There is no constitutional right to sleep with endangered reptiles." -- Carl Hiaasen Won't somebody please think of the adults! Posts: 8254 | From: Florida | Registered: Oct 2002
| IP: Logged |
Rogue1stclass
I'll Be Home for After Christmas Sales
posted
Nothing at all in there about him sleeping with them. I'd bet he stuck them in bed to hide them, seeing as how he knew he didn't have a permit. That's probably when he got bit.
The dolphin thing seems unlikely. I know that at times dolphins seem to have trouble telling that humans are a different species, but, it just seems awkward and difficult. 'Course, I did see a guy pleasuring himself on a Interstate overpass for all the world (or at least the cars coming into Florida at 11:30 at night) to see.
Posts: 195 | From: Florida | Registered: May 2004
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by damsa: Don't dolphins try to have sex with you when you are swimming with them. Or was that episode of King of the Hill, totally off. [/QB]
I worked at a dolphin/sea-lion show for a couple of years. There was one dolphin that would hump anyone that got in the pool with him. Fortunately it wasn't a 'swim-with-dolphins' place so no guests were 'molested'. I would also say that it isn't a rare thing because the trainers weren't surprised at the behavior.
-------------------- "Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you." - C. G. Jung Posts: 243 | From: Marina del Rey, CA | Registered: May 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Several years ago there was a story in the paper about a sea-turtle who had molested a swimmer. It sounded so preposterous that I e-mailed my sister, who is a marine biologist about it; she replied that it isn't that uncommon for randy sea--turtles to accost hapless swimmers.
So apparently, there are several aquatic species that you want to be cautious around.
Ali "they call him Flipper, Flipper, Flipper!" Baba
Posts: 3068 | From: Kensington, MD | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Oh my god this is so funny. What a joke. Even if it is real its still a joke. What sort of world do we live in where someone feels the need to pump a dolphin? Then again there are many stories like this but this one certainly takes the cake as the stupidest story ever. Im gonna go get a glass of water...I cant get the though out of my head or a middle aged man/woman fondling a dolphin! damn
-------------------- " This party sucks " Posts: 28 | From: Tasmania | Registered: Jun 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Since you asked, Google has 519 hits for "fuck tea" but none of the ones I checked appear to be guides.
There were also quite a few instances of "yugi have sex with tea" but it was not clear what if any significance that phrase has.
Posts: 2352 | From: California | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
Quite aside from the whole sex-with-dolphins thing, which is disturbing enough, there are a couple of not-so-veiled references in the article to pedophilia:
quote: [Forcing sex, i.e. rape] is something that I would never do to a dolphin, since I love them dearly, and treat them with the same respect that an honest husband would have for his wife and children.
quote: They use it as a way of strengthening the bonds between pod mates (mothers and calves included) , and also for fun.
If the author of the essay is telling the "truth" about his experiences, I would wager that he doesn't just fantasize about sex with dolphins. I find it very disturbing that he says he likes to answer questions from tourists, and hang around aquariums. Scary, scary guy.
quote:Originally posted by lynnejanet: Quite aside from the whole sex-with-dolphins thing, which is disturbing enough, there are a couple of not-so-veiled references in the article to pedophilia:
quote: [Forcing sex, i.e. rape] is something that I would never do to a dolphin, since I love them dearly, and treat them with the same respect that an honest husband would have for his wife and children.
quote: They use it as a way of strengthening the bonds between pod mates (mothers and calves included) , and also for fun.
If the author of the essay is telling the "truth" about his experiences, I would wager that he doesn't just fantasize about sex with dolphins. I find it very disturbing that he says he likes to answer questions from tourists, and hang around aquariums. Scary, scary guy.
The guy is wierd for sure- but pulling his words out of context and calling him a pedophile isn't right.
-------------------- "My Very Educated Mother Just Said Uh-oh! No...Pluto..."~ Steven Colbert Posts: 3256 | From: Somewhere in Ohio | Registered: Apr 2004
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by lynnejanet: Quite aside from the whole sex-with-dolphins thing, which is disturbing enough, there are a couple of not-so-veiled references in the article to pedophilia:
quote: [Forcing sex, i.e. rape] is something that I would never do to a dolphin, since I love them dearly, and treat them with the same respect that an honest husband would have for his wife and children.
quote: They use it as a way of strengthening the bonds between pod mates (mothers and calves included) , and also for fun.
If the author of the essay is telling the "truth" about his experiences, I would wager that he doesn't just fantasize about sex with dolphins. I find it very disturbing that he says he likes to answer questions from tourists, and hang around aquariums. Scary, scary guy.
The guy is wierd for sure- but pulling his words out of context and calling him a pedophile isn't right.
I didn't pull his words out of context. I quoted entire sentences from his article. I added words that clarified his meaning, and bolded the words that I though indicated an unusual thought pattern. And I didn't call him a pedophile - I said that there seemed to be references to pedophilia in his article. I did call him scary. He is scary. I'm sorry if I offended your sense of moral rectitude, but I don't think I'm out of line for commenting on my opinion of the article in the OP. Isn't that what the board is for?
I was nearly blown over by the technical terms in that guide man!
quote: I call screwing the car while the tailpipe is hot, "fucking the car hot".
-------------------- Eppis: Do you know why being a revolutionary doesn't work in this country? Being a revolutionary in America is like being a spoil sport at an orgy. All these goodies being passed around and you feel like a shit when you say no. Posts: 294 | From: Brisbane, Australia | Registered: Nov 2004
| IP: Logged |
-------------------- "Silly customer, you cannot hurt a Twinkie." -Apu (The Simpsons) Posts: 2026 | From: 10 miles South of Boston | Registered: Oct 2002
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Wizard of Yendor: There were also quite a few instances of "yugi have sex with tea" but it was not clear what if any significance that phrase has.
Yu-Gi-Oh! fanfiction. One of the characters' dubbed names is Téa, but people are often wont to omit the accented e. It's quite disturbing to take the phrase literally...
I also let my curiosity get the best of me and looked at the car sex FAQ. It gave me a pretty hearty laugh.
~Shuri "If you're considering screwing a car, sharp edges on the tailpipe are the least of your worries" mon
-------------------- "Oh, coulda-shoulda-Prada, honey!" ~Karen, "Will & Grace" Head of Hufflepuff at Platform 9 3/4. PNTQ- The One For You! Posts: 112 | From: Cincinnati, Ohio | Registered: Jun 2005
| IP: Logged |
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
