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Author Topic: Does masturbation cause blindness?
Crazy Jake
The Red and the Green Stamps


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Ok he said if you....well...how should i put this... choke the chicken, bob the boa, flog the hog, wax the dolphin... MASTURBATE to much you can go blind

[Confused] Is it true? [Confused]

[ 13. June 2004, 04:48 PM: Message edited by: Jenn ]

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Jenn
Layaway in a Manger


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No, it's not true.

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DarkDan
It Came Upon a Midnight Clearance


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I heard masturbation lessens your chance of prostate cancer. There was a thread on here about it before.

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SlinkyBinky
The Red and the Green Stamps


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Yes it does. Or at least it weakens your sight so much you can't tell whether or not pictures on the internet are real.
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Morrison's Longhaired Himalayan Cat
The Red and the Green Stamps


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It's true. If you ejaculate forcefully enough to hit your eye at 50mph or more (it can happen, usually Jenna Jameson tapes are involved) you can dislodge your cornea. That's the part of the eyaball you need for - like - seeing.

So I'd consider wearing some kind of goggles, you can order good quality industrial grade protection goggles from catalogues - the kind that steelworkers use. You may feel a bit silly sporting them while slapping the one eyed snake, but they will soon become a natural part of your auto-erotic activities.

--- G.

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chillas
Coventry Mall Carol


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When I was a boy my dad caught me. He said to me, "son, if you keep doing that, you're going to go blind." And I said, "dad, I'm over here."

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dahdoll
Deck the Malls


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My father told my son that if he masturbated he would go blind. He told him just to do as he did...whack it until he needed glasses.

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Brad from Georgia
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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I was gonna say "only if your aim is bad," but Morrison beat me to it...


Uh, so to speak....

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Nonny Mouse, on Santa's laptop
Once in Royal Circuit City


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I think repetitive stress syndrome is a significant risk, though. Especially if the masturbator also plays a lot of tennis.

Nonny

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TrishDaDish
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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I remember the kids being threatened in Catholic school by the nuns with this weird theology: "If you touch yourselves, the saints cry."

I guess famine and war does nothing to saints. But touch yourself once, Whoa!!!

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Pak Protector
The Red and the Green Stamps


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Really, now. If it were true, would anyone have been able to respond to the question?

Kinda reminds me of a sign I saw while horseback riding once:
"If you can't read this sign, you're going too fast."

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W. Fikere Tomba
The Red and the Green Stamps


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Does what cause blindness? Sorry, for some reason I can't read the words very well. Mutation? Micturation? Dammit! Is my monitor conking out on me?
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diddy
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by W. Fikere Tomba:
Does what cause blindness? Sorry, for some reason I can't read the words very well. Mutation? Micturation? Dammit! Is my monitor conking out on me?

ROTFLMAO!!!

I love it! Classic

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Barbara R.
Deck the Malls


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Masturbation cannot cause blindness. That's an old Victorian myth. They made it up so that kids wouldn't do it. They were afraid that if a child masturbated too much he would end up "over-sexed" and a libertine.

When I was a child and my mom caught me touching myself, she would merely say, "Don't do that. That's nasty!" While it's not as mythical and silly as saying masturbation can cause blindness, it leaves the child with the misguided notion that his/her "private parts" are nasty.

Barbara

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Lulu the Black Mage
The Red and the Green Stamps


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Well, if you have your face over your penis when you ejaculate (or you somehow can suck your own cock)....then yeah. That stuff tastes and is like Salt Water.


What?

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Davros
Happy Holly Days


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sort of on topic
but funny in a sick and depraved way
not safe for work not safe for young children

The following site contains potentially offensive material. If you are offended at all by:
full nudity (both sexes)
images of sex involving consenting adults
images of sex involving only one person
risque humour
human secretions of any kind
this is NOT the site for you.


sexy losers mike's left hand

dav(i love Hard's work)ros

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Wizard of Yendor
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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You might want to point out that it's a cartoon before anyone gets too woried... or disapointed.

It's funny though, I agree.

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Davros
Happy Holly Days


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i did think about saying it was a cartoon but
i thought it could be a suprise

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So I'm Evil Get over it

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the Virgin Marrya
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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You know, if masturbation is making you blind...you're probably not doing it right.

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Friend of a Man's Best Friend
The Red and the Green Stamps


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It is true that if you ask enough idiotarian questions, you'll go stupid.
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DemonWolf
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I'm surprised noone posted this already -


 -

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Brad from Georgia
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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For no reason, I am reminded of a time when my son was about fifteen, and the two of us decided to go explore the Okefenokee Swamp.

We were rattlin' down the asphalt, when we came upon a sign that gave us both pause:

quote:

BLIND BUS DRIVERS TURN HERE

My son asked, "How would they know?"

But I couldn't answer him. I was too busy looking out for buses on the highway.

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"No hard feelin's and HOPpy New Year!"--Walt Kelly
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TheBobo
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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quote:
Originally posted by DemonWolf:
I'm surprised noone posted this already -


 -

Damn I have killed a lot of cats in my lifetime.

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TrishDaDish
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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What the heck are those things about to kill the kitten??!!

Going blind..really...how silly...everyone knows it's your palms grow hair from doing it....

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Wild.Otaku
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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Okay, dumb question: what are the things chasing the kittens. And I don't think it's true because Penny (resident kitten) is still alive..damn..(not to say that we want her dead, just that we'd like her to shut up when she's in heat!)

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Jay Tea
The "Was on Sale" Song


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This is where I come up with something right? Something really clever...

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DawnStorm
Let There Be PCs on Earth


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quote:
Originally posted by TrishDaDish:
What the heck are those things about to kill the kitten??!!


Mutant Klondike bars?

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Friend of a Man's Best Friend
The Red and the Green Stamps


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^25 points^
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Rhiandmoi
Ding Dong! Merrily on High Definition TV


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quote:
Originally posted by Barbara R.:
Masturbation cannot cause blindness. That's an old Victorian myth. They made it up so that kids wouldn't do it. They were afraid that if a child masturbated too much he would end up "over-sexed" and a libertine.

When I was a child and my mom caught me touching myself, she would merely say, "Don't do that. That's nasty!" While it's not as mythical and silly as saying masturbation can cause blindness, it leaves the child with the misguided notion that his/her "private parts" are nasty.

Barbara

I thought that the source of this myth was that Chlamydia causes blindness especially when transfered from the hand to the eye. And it gets on the hand when you, you know, masturbate. So its not really masturbating that causes the blindness but the not washing your hands before you touch your face.

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Saraquill
The Red and the Green Stamps


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quote:
Originally posted by TrishDaDish:
What the heck are those things about to kill the kitten??!!

Going blind..really...how silly...everyone knows it's your palms grow hair from doing it....

That would be a couple of Doumo-kuns, Main character from a popular Japanese kid's show called "Doumo-kun's World." I saw a couple of episodes and found it disturbing.
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Carthage
Deck the Malls


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The critter in the kitten pic seems to be a Domo-kun.

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TheBobo
Markdown, the Herald Angels Sing


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o dp mot nelieve ,asternatiop caises b;indness1

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Nonny Mouse, on Santa's laptop
Once in Royal Circuit City


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quote:
Originally posted by BoboPussy:
o dp mot nelieve ,asternatiop caises b;indness1

Nah, what it causes is dyslexia.

Nonny

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When there isn't anything else worth analyzing, we examine our collective navel. I found thirty-six cents in change in mine the other day. Let no one say that there is no profit in philosophy. -- Silas Sparkhammer

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Wild.Otaku
Little Sales Drummer Boy


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quote:
Originally posted by Carthage:
The critter in the kitten pic seems to be a Domo-kun.

So someone went and made Domokun evil! How horrible. *sigh* now I have to get Domokun stuff because it's so cute.

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Tom, we're flying a giant robot into space! "Safe" isn't the first word that springs to mind! - Colleen, Last Hope, Vol.2

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Oualawouzou
Angels Wii Have Heard on High


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Well, I can picture some guy getting a little overzealous, slipping and punching himself in the eye.

Come to think of it, that's a funny visual. [Big Grin]

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